The sounds of the whispering wind echoed through the silence. The trees, dancing in the chilled wind. No sound coming from Quinn's lips. No voices in her mind. Just the sound of complete silence. The calming breeze, sweeping over her body as she sat in the green field. Hands clasped upon her lap, and her journal flipped open to a new page. A fresh start. Reading over the previous pages caused her heart to thump beneath her chest. Boom. Boom. Boom. What was going on? What was happening? Her eyes scanned over the page. Read the words, written by a girl who was only just terrified. Only trying to find her home. A place that she belonged. Trapped inside some body of a person that she wasn't. She could do it. It was too much. She used her trembling hands to close the journal at once, and placed it down beside her, as calmly as she could.
"Quinn, honey, dinner time!" Hollered Judy, standing in the doorway. Quinn stuck her nose up sniffed and sniffed the air, a small smile tugging at her lips. The cool breeze wafted the smell of her favorite Italian pasta directly towards her. In less than a minute, the blonde was already up from her spot on the ground and in the house.
"It smells delicious, mom. Thanks." Quinn said with a genuine smile and padded over to the kitchen sink to wash her hands and get ready for dinner.
"It's your favorite. So Quinn, sweetie, tell me again, why have you decided to go Vegan? I'm aware that you love animals, but, why did you go Vegan?" Judy's eyebrows shot up as she took a seat at the dining room table. Everything was already set up, perfectly. The placemats were laid out on the table, the bowls and plates having their own spot on each placemat.
"No reason. Just decided that I need a change." Quinn couldn't help the blush that happened to spread across her slim cheekbones. It was small, and very faint, you could hardly tell it was there, even. But it was a blush. Why was it there in the first place?
"It's not one of those crazy diets you saw online, is it? Don't make me ban you from the computer." Judy cleared her throat and tucked her chair into the table, sitting up a little straighter. Like a lady. And just like her mother, Quinn followed right behind, placing her napkin upon her lap.
"It's not, mom. It doesn't matter." Quinn nearly snapped, and twirled some noodles around her fork. The rest of the dinner was silent. More silence. Except, this dinner wasn't all that silent. There were certain voices that continued to run through Quinn's mind. Certain song lyrics. Being sang. Glee club that day, on replay. Over, and over, and over yet again.
Halfway through her meal, Quinn stood up. She couldn't take the silence anymore. The silence that seemed to be eating away at her. Picking at all of her innermost, deepest secrets. "I'm not hungry anymore. Besides, I have some studying to do," the lying began. What was she going to be studying for? "history. I have to study for history."
"Alright, Quinn." Replied Judy with a small sigh. She didn't buy it at all. But the last thing that she wanted to do, was argue with her daughter over something this small.
Glee Club. Tuesday. And for the second day in a row, Mr. Schue was running late. "He's probably getting it on with Pillsbury in the janitor's closet." Muttered Puck underneath his breath. Howls of laughter escaped from the guys mouths, while the girls just crossed their arms across their chests and scoffed. All of the girls except Quinn, who seemed to be lost in her own little world. She was completely oblivious as to what was going on around them. Sitting in her lap, once again, was her journal. Waiting to be open. Waiting to share all of the secrets that laid upon the many pages. The secrets were all Quinn's, so what was it that was supposed to be so frightening? Was it the fact that her own secrets terrified her? No. That couldn't be possible. Why would her own secrets worry her? Why?
"Quinn." Chirped a familiar, bubbly voice. The blonde lifted her gaze up from her journal and met the eyes of a short brunette. She sank her teeth into her lower lip to hold back her smile at the sight of Rachel Berry standing in front of her. Though, it slightly frightened her as to how Rachel walked over towards her so quickly, so quietly. Almost like a mouse, creeping out to steal a piece of cheese that had fallen on the floor.
"What do you want?" Quinn asked in her usual icy tone, which caused Rachel to tense up. She could see it in the brunette's shoulders. The way that they rolled back. The way that her entire body looked. It looked so uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry, Quinn. But, I have noticed that you've been acting a little distant lately. And I think that you should talk to someone, because it's really bringing everyone down. Including myself." Rachel placed her hands firmly upon her hips and arched an eyebrow, gaining back that cocky confidence of hers, and that know-it-all look spread across the features of her face.
Quinn didn't exactly know how to reply, so she just sat there, speechless for once. For once, she didn't have an insult. No nicknames. Maybe Rachel was right. Maybe she did need to talk to someone. But before she could talk to anyone, she had to come to realization with herself first. A small sigh escaped from her lips, and she crossed one leg over the other, tucking her blue dress beneath her thighs. "And your bossy little attitude brings everyone down, Berry. Including myself. But thanks for your input. I'll take it into consideration."
Rachel almost immediately backed off. Came to an understanding, that Quinn really didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. But, why did this make Quinn feel so low? Was it the look on Rachel's face? The look of disappointment? Maybe it was just her way of trying to ask if something was truly wrong. Her way of trying to be considerate of someone else's feelings. Quinn sank down in her seat in guilt, yet she tried her very best to hide those feelings. She didn't want anyone, especially Rachel, to see her feeling guilty about this whole situation.
The swishing sound of the choir room door got everyone's attention to the front of the room. "Alright, kids! I was just on the phone in my office, sorry about being late. So, here is your assignment for the week. I want you to choose someone, and do a duet with them. Now, choose someone that you wouldn't normally choose. And Santana, that means you can't pair up with Brittany, or Quinn. Same goes for you two." Mr. Schue nodded his head firmly, and adjusted his sweater vest as he looked at the three girls. Santana just slumped in her chair with a roll of her eyes, and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Mr. Schue, seeing as you are expecting us to do a duet with people that we wouldn't normally do a duet with, does this mean that I can do this assignment with Quinn? I mean, she-" And thank goodness for Mr. Schue. Because if he hadn't cut her off in the middle of her sentence, she would have gone on and on. No one in the room seemed to care. No one was paying that much attention, except for Quinn. She watched as the brunette smiled her sweet, genuine smile. That smile, oh, that smile could brighten up anyone's mood.. Make anyone's day. On anyone's worst day, that smile could just turn everything around. Create a fresh start.
"That sounds great, Rachel." Mr. Schue replied with a smile, and watched everyone beginning to pair up with each other. It didn't take long until the room started to fill up with the sounds of people singing, talking, and laughing among themselves. Quinn and Rachel were sitting in the corner of the room, trying their best to block the sounds of everyone out.
"Why don't we take this to the auditorium, Quinn? Where everyone isn't so noisy, and it will be easier for us to practice." Leaving Quinn no time to respond, like usual, Rachel stood up from her spot, and did her little Diva march out of the room.
"Jesus, Berry." Quinn grumbled beneath her breath and followed the shorter brunette out of the choir room, closing the door gently behind her. "Wait up!"
Rachel spun around on her heel and faced Quinn, her hands on her hips and an eyebrow raised. "Excuse me, Quinn, but if you want to get anywhere in this assignment, you will have to quit your complaining, and just try to keep up with me." Spinning back on her heel to face forward once again, the smaller girl pushed the doors of the auditorium open, letting them shut in Quinn's face.
"Thanks for holding the doors open, Berry." Quinn snapped in her snarky tone of voice as she pushed the doors open.
Quit thinking like this. Quit it. Push it out of your head, Quinn Fabray. It's useless. It's never going to happen. Quinn pushed her thoughts out of her head and took a seat on the edge of the stage. The stage was cold. The auditorium was cold. Was it even cold, or was it just her? Confusion. Her mind was racing. Her thoughts were screaming at her. It felt as though there were little people with hammers, smashing against her skull. Wanting to be out at once. Pounding against her skull. Drilling into it. A fairly loud and unexpected groan emitted from Quinn's lips, and she brought her hands up to hold her head in discomfort.
"Quinn, what do you think you're doing? We have to get to work. Stat." Rachel stomped over towards the blonde, her hands still on her hips. Where did she get all of that confidence from? Okay, so Rachel was usually cocky with her confidence, but never did she go this far with Quinn. She usually knew where to draw the line, and if she forgot, Quinn would normally set her back into place.
"Shut up for a second, Berry. My head is killing me, and I can't take anymore of you talking. So just shut up for a minute, okay?" Her pale hands were now threading through her blonde, beautiful locks. And finally, Rachel got the point. She must've realized that she was being a nuisance, because she bowed her head in a nod, and muttered a 'I'm sorry' beneath her breath. Rachel never apologized. At least, not that Quinn had ever heard.
"Thank you…" Quinn's tone softened up a slight bit, and her face was now buried in her hands. Her thoughts still seemed to be controlling her. They were telling her to do something, but she didn't know exactly what that something was. They were confusing her. Was that the cause of her headache? Or maybe she just needed a cup of coffee. No, caffeine couldn't be the solution to her problems.
"Is there something wrong, Quinn?" Tentatively, the singer took a seat beside Quinn, who was still holding her head in pain.
"Everything is fine. Just perfect." Hoping that Rachel bought her lie, Quinn removed her hands from her head and shifted her gaze towards the brunette, who obviously didn't buy it.
"Now, I would advise you to tell the truth, Quinn. It's not nice to lie, you know." Rachel's eyebrow arched perfectly, and Quinn just shook her head.
"I don't get how you know these things. Are you some sort of creepy mind reader?" Quinn reached down just below her feet and grabbed her bag, which contained her journal inside of it. The dreaded journal. This clearly made Rachel curious.
"What's in that bag?" Rachel sat up a little straighter and peered over Quinn's shoulder in curiosity.
"Just a journal. Nothing too special. I can't write a damn thing in here anymore." With a tug, she yanked the journal out of the bag and tossed it onto the stage, into the empty space that happened to be between the two girls.
"And what may the reason for that be? May I see this so-called journal?" Once again, before Quinn could give Rachel an answer, she already had the journal open. Why did she even ask if she could see it? It was a waste of breath, if she already knew the answer to her own question.
"I never said you could, but whatever. You already have it open, so go ahead. I won't stop you." Quinn's face was already turning into a light shade of pink. And from pink, it faded to red. From red, it faded to a deeper shade of red. You could say that she looked like a sundried tomato.
"Quinn, this is so deep," Rachel's eyes scanned the pages up and down. Each and every one. From page one, Rachel was hooked on what Quinn was writing. What made it so special? Was it the fact that it came from her heart? That Quinn had poured every bit of her heart and soul into it? Spent hours writing it? "Where did this come from? It's beautiful, Quinn. You are very talented. You know, you're also a decent singer. Not as great as me of course, but you're decent. I do think that you are much more talented when you are writing. You should do more of it."
This girl talked a lot. Normally, Quinn zoned out halfway through whatever she was saying. This time though, she listened throughout her rant. Took everything that the girl had said into consideration. "Thank you. I do love to write, but I just… I can't. I can't anymore. Can I be honest with you?"
"Absolutely, Quinn." Rachel piped up, yet had a look of confusion on her face. Were her and Quinn actually having a full-on conversation? No snarky remarks? No nicknames? It was nice, actually. She could get used to it.
"I'm terrified to find out what's really hiding within me. I'm not the same person inside. I can't even talk to my mom about anything, even." The blonde shook her head, ashamed. She didn't understand what was going on. She wanted so badly just to sit there, and just completely let herself go. To just completely lose control. But she couldn't cry. At least, not in front of Rachel she couldn't. No matter how badly those tears wanted to just escape her eyelids and flow freely down her cheeks. She couldn't. She couldn't let herself go.
"Quinn…" Rachel began, flipping the journal open to a page which was dated from about a week ago. "Is this true?" She asked in a soft tone. She didn't want to scare Quinn off. For once, she genuinely wanted to help her. Quinn, out of all people. Quinn Fabray.
Before Quinn could respond, she had to glance over the words on the page, to see what the girl was talking about. And when she saw the words, she nodded her head, a feeling of embarrassment washing over her body. "Yes. Yes, it is true."
Rachel was in shock. She tried her best to hide it, but her eyes widened almost on instinct. "Who is she? Who is the girl?"
