Insecure


Watching TV, Hinamori Amu glued her eyes to the screen. What was showing was a channel called "Hearthy." It was a combo of "healthy" and "hearty." It was one of those diet shows that claim you lose weight in 2 days, when in reality, it takes 3 months to lose at least 3 pounds. The rosette looked at her belly and poked it with her fingernail. "I'm so fat I can't even feel poking myself." She forced herself to believe. She saw how the model on the TV lifted up her shirt slightly, showing the audience her smooth, skinny stomach. Amu longed for that type of body. "Onee-chan, I need help with my homework.."

A small voice came from the stairs. She quickly scrambled for the remote and changed it just in time to an anime. Ami raised an eyebrow, seeing the TV change to something different than the previous channel. "What was that?"

Amu struggled to concoct a lie in her brain to keep her younger sister from asking any further questions. "It..was a...teen drama. Yeah. You wouldn't understand it, Ami-chan,"

Ami thought about it, and sw she put the sentence in a questionable format. Deciding not to bother her big sister about anything else, she accepted the lie.

"Anyway, I need help with the homework. It says that I need to simplify this fraction, but I don't know how!"

Ami pointed a small finger to the said problem. Amu looked at the it, and explained what to do to her sister. "Well, it can't be simplified, so just leave it. But you can't always leave it, or else you'd get the problem wrong. Now let me show you how to simplify it." Amu took the pencil from the 3rd graders grasp and held it in her own. Scribbling on the paper, she showed Ami how to do it. "Thanks, nee-chan!" "You're welcome," As Ami ran up the stairs, Amu called, "Don't forget to write the name and date!" A soft "Okay!" was heard from upstairs. Exhaling, Amu pressed down on the large red button on the remote.

"Daisuki dayo...minna..."

"Moshi-moshi?"

"Amu-chan! It's Tadase! I was wondering if you could come out today...?" Amu's eyes lit up at the sound of her boyfriend's voice. "Really? I'd love to come out today! Where would we go?" A thoughtful "Hmmm" came from the other side of the line, followed by muffled noises. Confused, Amu pulled the phone away from her ear, and after seeing she had full signal, placed it back to her initial spot. "How about Easter's old amusement park? You know, since they're down for good now?"

"Okay! What time should I meet you there?"

"About...five? Is that okay with you?"

Amu looked at the digital clock on her cable box connected to her TV. It's already three...lovely. She had 2 hours to get ready, and then do whatever.

"That's perfect! I meet you there?" She asked. "Yep! Okay, later Amu-chan! Mwah!" Amu's cheeks flared red as she heard the sound of Tadase blowing her a kiss. "Y-yeah. Bye," She said, ending the call

.

She just sat there, watching a blank screen for a moment, before deciding to move to the bathroom. Amu pulled out the electronic scale from the very back of the cabinet under the sink, and set it gently on the floor. Pulling off her slippers, she stepped on the scale and averted her sight to the little monitor.

Processing...processing...

Amu fiddled with her fingernails as she waited for the device to calculate her weight.65lb. "I'm fat!" Amu cried.

"Nee-chan? Something wrong?" Amu heard the little voice from upstairs and came to the conclusion that maybe she was a little loud. "I'm fine, Ami! Just hurt my toe," She lied. "I'm fat...so fat...nobody likes a fatty..." Her voice broke, and silent tears splashed onto the tiled floor below her. "I'm fat. I'm really fat. I want to be skinny. I'm fat. I want to be skinny..."

Pushing the scale back to it's hiding place, Amu unlocked the silver lock and twisted the small doorknob, entering the living room. "How can Tadase even stand to look at me? I'm fat and ugly. I don't know how he puts up with me." "NEE-CHAN!" Ami screamed. Amu jumped but hopped up the stairs. "A-Ami, what is it?"

Ami took a deep breath, and clearly declared what was on her mind.

"Nee-chan, I'm sorry for scaring you, but I need to talk to you." Amu was confused, but sat on Ami's bed next to her anyway. "Um, okay. What about, little sis?" Ami looked at her sister, and saw behind her eyes was pain and sadness. "Amu, you've been sad. Like, DEPRESSED sad. Not yourself. I talked to you shugo charas and they said that they might disappear soon. That means that you're going through a extremely tough spot right now, and I want to know what it is. Because I can't have my sister this way. I see you haven't been eating, and you've been locking yourself in the bathroom and in your room. Amu..I need to know what's going on. As your sister."

Amu was shocked. At many things. For one, that her usually frilly and bouncy sister was serious and demanding. And she called her by her given name-not "nee-chan." Also, she's taken notice of Amu's habits. It was surprising to see her sister this way, not like she usally was.

"Ami. This is an adult matter, and trust me, if I could talk to you about it, I would. But please...it's just something personal, okay?" And with that, Amu got up and left Ami's room. She traveled across the hall to her own room, and locked the door. Ami listened through the door, and was surprised to hear crying. Quickly and quietly, she snuck downstairs and grabbed Amu's phone. She knew just who to go to. Scrolling through her contacts, she found the name she was looking for. Hotori Tadase.

Pressing the SMS icon, she prepared her fingers for the text. When the box came up, Ami texted as fast as she could, without Amu catching her. "Ami!" Thump, thump, thump.."What are you doing with MY phone?! Who are you texting? Ami! Give me back my phone!" Too late. A robotic voice came from the pink phone: Message Sent.