Ohaiyo and konnechiwa minna! TA here with another story, co-written with Huffpuff! Won't say what ideas are hers and which are mine, so just give us both credit for the whole darn thing =P Anyway…this is the prologue for a story which should prove to be rather interesting. We like to call it….*ominous music*….

~~~~~~~

The Tessen Chronicles

~~~~~~~

Our tale begins within a book. Where an unexpected misfortune was befalling a certain fiery-haired seishi. It began with a chance encounter inside of the Konan palace...

Growl. GRRRROWL! Tasuki's stomach was making its needs known once again. After finally recovering from his last hangover, Tasuki was ready to eat again.

"TASUKI!!!" a feminine voice yelled.

"I didn't fucking do it," Tasuki mumbled to himself, before sneaking out of his room and down the stairs before Miaka could find him.

Tasuki crept slowly towards the kitchen, moving stealthily with only the moonlight shining through the windows to illuminate his way. He was careful not to make a sound, knowing that Miaka was on the warpath again about her missing lipstick. Tasuki only vaguely remembered painting it onto Kouji, after the blue-haired bandit had lost their drinking contest. Tasuki winced, as he heard Miaka's voice once again piercing the night.

Just a little bit further, Tasuki thought. He heard Tamahome's voice from upstairs, soothing the savage miko, and now he ran towards the kitchen, not wanting to hear more of Tamahome's 'comforting' activities.

Finally, Tasuki reached the enormous kitchen. He slid across the floor until he reached the gigantic pantry, which he knew to be filled with food. No one will mind if I just have a little snack, Tasuki thought, pulling on the handle. It wouldn't open. Tasuki pulled harder, with the same result. He moved his hand down along the door, until he encountered a chain and a padlock. There was a tiny piece of paper attached to the padlock.

Tasuki picked up a candled from the nearby table and gently lit it with his tessen. He held up the note and read it. "Kuso!" Tasuki cried, crumpling up the note, which had read, 'Back off! This food is the property of the Suzaku no Miko!'

"I knew she was pig, but this is fuckin pushin it...I'm starved!!" Tasuki whined. Then, he hesitated. Was it his imagination, or had he seen something dash by the kitchen doorway?

Tasuki shrugged, thinking that his stomach was probably playing tricks on his mind, due to his current state of starvation. Besides, at this point, Tasuki was too hungry to care. Just as he was about to take the tessen out and use it to melt the padlock (mind you, Tasuki was really hungry, having eaten nothing all day), he heard a suspicious noise behind him. Now he had a real predicament: melt the padlock and satisfy his roaring stomach, or check on the noise.

"Suzaku dammit!!! I'm hungry enough to out-eat Miaka..." Tasuki muttered to himself before holding his tessen ready to attack and gliding across the kitchen to the doorway.

Standing before him, Tasuki saw an outline more horrifying than any he'd ever before witnessed. It seemed to belong to a creature that was neither human nor monster, but rather, some horrifying mixture of the two. The creature walked upright, but its body seemed to be that of a gelatinous blob, and it's face was a grotesque mixture of wrinkles, spots, and hairs. Ashitare? Tasuki wondered to himself. No, Ashitare is a lot bigger than that. And he looks more human. No matter. This was an intruder, and he was the one who had to deal with it... "REKKA...."

"Bakem--" a wizened voice began, as the creature turned.

"SHINEN!!!" Tasuki cried, sending his signature attack out to engulf the creature. The burst of flame illuminated the creature as it zoomed towards it. "Oh shit..." Tasuki squeaked, recognizing the creature all too late.

A moment later, the flames disappeared, and a Cajun-blackened version of Taiitsukun stood before him. "I do not appreciate being flamed thusly," a crispy Taiitsukun said grumpily.

"Taiitsukun! What in the hell are ya doing here, sneaking around the palace at night?! I thought ya were a monster!" Tasuki yelled.

This comment was enough to snap the last of Taiitsukun's patience. "Tasuki, you and that tessen are quite a menace. Not to mention the fact that you just yelled so loud that the whole palace probably knows that I here by now. Now, I'll never be able to glomp Joe Schmoe!"

"Glomp...Joe…Schmoe? Who the hell is he?!"

"You know, guard number 207. He's just such a bishie!"

Tasuki gulped, looking horrified. "You're old enough to be his grandmother!"

"Grandmother or not, you're still going to pay for this..." Taiitsukun's voice was enough to know she was peeved to the greatest extent.

Tasuki blanched. "Shitshitshitshitshiiiiiiit! Don't kill me I'm too young and too damned pretty to dieeee!!!"

"I had something else in mind for you, Tasuki," Taiitsukun said, snatching the tessen from Tasuki's hand.

"Ey! What are ya doin' with my tessen?! Give it back, Taiitsukun! Onegai!" Tasuki said, a frightened note entering his voice.

"I think not," Taiitsukun said, opening up an interdimensional portal.

Tasuki paled whiter than he already was. "Hey...Taiitsukun...you're...not gonna......are ya.....?"

Once the hole was large enough, she pushed the tessen through and closed the portal.

"Matte! Onegai!" Tasuki cried desperately lunging towards where the tessen had once been, but it was too late.

"That takes care of that little problem," Taiitsukun said, wiping off her hands, with an air of self-satisfaction. "Now, where is that sexy Joe Schmoe?"

"Bakayaro sunukake baba...." Tasuki growled. "He's on leave in Mitsukake's village..."Then he pouted. "What am I gonna do without my tessen?" But his question remained unanswered for the night, as Taiitsukun was already gone.



~~~~~~~

What will happen to the Tessen?!

Wherever did Taiitsukun send it to?!

Will Tasuki ever be able to get back his precious weapon?!

What horrors will he have to endure?!

Will Miaka get her revenge for her missing lipstick?!

Will Taiitsukun effectively find and glomp Joe Schmoe?!

Will TA ever shut up with the questions?!

TA: Delete that Nuriko…

Nuriko: ehehe…..*posts*