Afterwards, people would always ask him why he did it. Or more specifically, why he tried. If Matthew had succeeded in his quest, we would be reading a very different story today. It all began in a bridge on a snowy December day…

Matthew could remember that day in perfect detail. Even if the events afterwards were a little hazy, he would always remember that day, right down to what color socks he was wearing (Red). He remembered the rushing water below the bridge, how the water looked black because it was twilight. The stars had reflected in water, almost making the water look like the heavens. Matthew had found this fitting for his situation. He could remember the rust on the rails of the bridge and how it had reminded him of blood in his crazy messed up mind. Matthew could remember the dead silence and how he had thought it strange for there to be no cars there. He shouldn't have been so surprised though, after all he had chosen this bridge for that exact reason. He could still feel the cold biting on his skin making him shudder every couple minutes or so. He could feel the wind whipping around him pulling and tugging at his clothes. Matthew remembered every single last sensation before he jumped.

Matthew remembered how when he was convincing himself to jump he told himself he was jumping into the heavens. Every insult anyone had ever told him had run through his mind he stood in the wobbling rail. You're so quit all the time, nobody ever notices you. You'll never good be a great as your brother, why do you even try? You should just kill yourself, it's not like anyone would notice. That last one was the one that had made Matthew jump. He could remember thinking the bridge was higher up than he had thought because he just kept falling, and falling, and falling. Matthew had thought it would never end. But eventually he had slammed into the water, his body going limp after the first shock of coldness. Matthew had read somewhere that water was like concrete if you fell into from a high enough position. That was certainly what it had felt like before he blacked out.

Afterwards, his memory wasn't so clear. People kept shouting and crying and Matthew hadn't really understood why. After all, they had told him to do it, hadn't they? When he was able to be conscious for more than a few minutes, people kept asking Matthew why he had done it. What had caused him to end his life so young? After all, he had his whole life ahead of him. And it always got better, just a few years ahead. Except Matthew had been tired of their bullshit. It never got better. Not four years ago, not now, not four years in the future, not ever. Truly, when Matthew had decided to kill himself, he had been bored. He had figured, why not? It's not like anyone would care. Might as well try and end it while he could.