***Silly, goofy and even stupid. Some of them cowboys I ran with years ago take shape in this story...but we won't say who...shhh. Obviously, based on "Won't you come home" by George Strait (names of livestock have been changed for their protection :-D) None of these characters are mine. I doubt that this story hasn't been done before, but oh well, here I go!***

I was sitting at the bar, having a coupla beers, swappin' stories and a few laughs with my buddies, Em, Jazz, and old Carlisle, my best bud and sports injury doc. We were talking about the bulls we drew up at our last run through Billings, MT, and well, all major stops on the circuit. I'm not big on the old Big Sky, but the money was right, and the ladies there love to buck all night…I digress. I had drawn Widow Maker's Shadow the final night. I had gotten a spurin and some damn good dips and bucks goin', impressing that little rode-ay-oh, Jessica, who, let's face it is easily impressed, (extra emphasis on easy). Barrel racers burn and turn, baby! I wasn't thinking with the right head though, cause I think she mighta gave me some kinda burn…anyway, Shadow jumped hard to the right, dodged quick to the left a hard dip, and I lost my seat, and just missed that buzzer…damn! 8 seconds is an eternity sometimes, ya know? Did I mention that I took a horn to the back? That old bull took me down in less than 5! Cracked 3 ribs, big ass hole in my back and ruined a perfectly good vest! Good thing Carl was there! He fixed me right up, and gave me a little something to take the edge off of my reminder of Jessica and the rest of them buckle bunnies…I can't be bringing anything back to ruin my woman. She's about the only clean cowgirl still riding. I wanna keep it that way.

Somewhere, over the noise of drunks hollerin, the band playin some good old country music, women laughin and squealin as they're being twirled all around the dance floor, I hear a phone ring, and before I know it, the bartender, Tanya, shoves a ratty old telephone receiver under my nose. "There's a Missus. on the phone, Cullen.", she says with a wink and turned around on her heels. Over her shoulder, she gives me one of those looks and a cute little nose wrinklin' that makes my Little Wrangler just a little bit twitchy and as she pranced away. I put the phone to my ear, with apprehension, and say "Hello?". "You're not answering your phone. I've been calling you all night! Why don't you come home and talk to a stranger? You might find you like my company. You shoot the shit with everyone in town, but you won't talk to me." "Oh, but Bella Darlin', I don't get much time to unwind, and I ain't hardly seen these here cowboys since our run up…"I spit some 'baccy juice in an empty Bud bottle.

"But I haven't seen you but a few hours since you've come home. You were gone for 3 months straight! I need my cowboy tonight." Ahh hell, she's whining.

"Bella Darlin', I'll be home after last call." "But…" I hung up before she could finish. I love this woman, but damn! Sometimes I just need to stretch my legs and kick up my heels! She never had this problem when we met over in Oklahoma City. I sigh to myself, missing my beautiful 14 second barrel runnin', team ropin', gold buckle sportin', whiskey shootin' Bella. Where did she go? I knew it was a mistake to give her my name. She's lost that fun lovin' and became an Ed naggin' ball and chain!

"Jake!" Squeaks a few of these local buckle bunnies that everyone's bucked, everyone but him. I groan because Jake is a big old steer wrestlin' son of a bitch. He's hella good at bustin broncs too, but he ain't me. I chuckle at that thought. He plops down on the stool right next to me as his trunk of an arm brings his frying pan of a hand down and claps it on my back, dang near knocking the wind out of my lungs. "How's it hangin' there, Eddie Boy?" Gawl dammit, I HATE being called Eddie! "Heard you had a good a hot run this circuit! Get the buckle?" Damn that shit eatin' grin. "Not this time, but bet you a can a Cope' I will next round!" This guy gets me in a bender! Not only is he big as hell, but he has his eye on MY woman! She isn't exactly shying away from his goody momma's boy act. Ahh hell, she even blushes and gets all giggly and gooey when he's around! Yeah, I'd look like that too if I was lifting all them hay bales myself…damn! "Tanny, 2 shots Jack for my good buddy Eddie over here, please. I'll take me a bottle of Bud too. Thank you, honey." Dammit if she didn't melt at his voice and cream those little black jeans.

Suddenly, there's a hush over the entire bar. I look up to see the cause of this sudden burst of ear shattering silence, hell, even the band stopped, all eyes were on me, and then traveled to the door. Time stopped, and there stood THE most beautiful cowgirl in the world, my Bella Darlin'. She had "Get your cute, tight Wrangler-clad ass on home!" burnin in her big old brown doe's eyes. "Ahh shit, boys, I think I'm in for it tonight!" I shoot down the whiskeys and take a long pull of Bud to chase them down. I stand up to give her a kiss.

"Sit your ass down, you good for nothing 'cowpoke'! I'm here to dance!"

I smirked. "I'd be more than happy to…"

"Not you, you waste of cowhide!" She kicks my boot, turns to Jake and says, "How about you swing me around that hardwood floor?" I groan as she bats those long lashes at him.

"You know I'd never dare say no to you, Mrs. Cullen." Smug son of a bitch!

"I'm just Bella tonight." The warmest of warm smiles. MY SMILE. The very one that stole my heart 5 years ago, and she's looking at him that way! It's killing me watching them now. I'm going to claim what is mine!

"May I cut in?"

"No, Mr. Cullen, you may not." She says, but doesn't look at me.

" Bella Darlin', you are my wife, and I want to dance now!" I am getting a little annoyed.

She spins around on her red Justins, bores holes into my eyes with her piercing stare as she jabs her little finger into my chest. "Eddie, you've danced with every woman in this county BUT ME! I am here to have a good time, so don't you dare ruin it for me! Now, go on over there, Lauren wants to take ahold of you, go give her a piece! I think she has a Patch she wants to cash in.

Jake, honey, I think it's time for a drink. What'll you have?"

I step in front of Jakey boy, push him back and knock off his Stetson. "You get your flea-bitten paws off my wife, you hear? You have no business getting into my business, and this is my business!" I growl as I grab her tight little ass. She gasped, and it made my heart beat double time and my cock to stand at attention. It took every bit of strength I had not to throw her over my shoulder and high tail out of there! Maybe I should!

She bent over in her itty-bitty Daisy Dukes reaching for Jake's hat. Every dick head turned to get a looksee at my girl's perfect ass. I'm seein' red!

"I do as the lady pleases." Jake smirks at his innuendo-dripping remark. I spit my cope wad on his boot, ya know, just to get my point across.

I start rushing at Jake just as Jazz placed his hand on my chest to keep me from moving any further. "Ed, just let her blow off some steam, it ain't easy for her bein' your missus."

Ahh hell, he's right. I've done her wrong since day one. She gave me every bit of her, offered herself to my alter, and I continue to destroy her. Fuck! I knew I was never good enough for her. I knew I could do nothing but hurt her, but I am too fucken selfish, I had to have her. I. Am. A. Dick. King Dick. Of Dickland.

Feeling every bit like I was on the wrong end of a bull full of shit, I took my hat off, put it on the bar and tangled my hair in my fists. Shit. What am I going to do if she leaves me? Yeah, I'm sure I'll just keep doing what I always do. That sounds like some fucked up shit. Why didn't I give her what she deserves?

She's with him tonight. I've lost her to the one man that deserves her.