A/N: Hi! This fic is set after Episode 9 of Season 3. Daryl has left the group to be with Merle, but after the events at Yellow Jacket Creek, he decides to go back to the prison. How will Carol react?
English is not my first language. Sorry if I made mistakes... ;-)
Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 1
As he neared the prison, followed by Merle, Daryl was lost in his thoughts.
He was going back home.
Carol and the others had told him several times how important to them he was. How he was part of their family.
Until now, he hadn't really believed it. Yeah, they said that, yeah, they meant it. But deep down, he had always felt like an outsider. He had never let himself think he was worth being a part of their group.
It was no wonder; he'd never had a family. Never belonged anywhere. All he'd ever had to rely on was his simple-minded piece of shit of a brother.
He had known for a while now that Merle was no good for him. Of course he did. But knowing and KNOWING were two different things. He'd always thought he deserved no more. That he was so damaged that he could never have any better.
Earlier that day, after helping that family at Yellow Jacket Creek and then seeing his older brother ready to take what little they had, he had made his decision. He had let go of something. What exactly, he didn't know. Maybe he'd just finally understood that he could live according to his own code, his own values. He knew then he wasn't anything like his brother and could never be like him.
He was done being his sidekick.
He was his own man now.
A free man at last. A free man happily going back to a prison.
He couldn't help but grin at the irony of it.
"What's so funny, baby brother?"
Daryl immediately sobered.
"Nothin'."
Thankfully Merle didn't press the matter further and the younger man went back to his thinking.
When he'd pointed his crossbow at Merle earlier, he'd known he had to get back to the prison. Where he belonged.
Helping these people, being with them, that was what he was meant to do.
Acknowledging that fact at last, he knew that he had to face something else he'd avoided from looking in the face.
Of course, he knew there was a special bond between he and Carol, he wasn't stupid. Damaged people attracted damaged people. He had known that for weeks, months even. But until now he hadn't wanted to put a name on those feelings. Was it love?
He snorted. Like he would know what that was if it hit him in the face.
But did he have to put a tag on what he felt? All he knew was that Carol was patient, kind, caring, funny, wise, bright, understanding… beautiful.
Not his usual type, no. Before the outbreak, they would never have noticed each other: the scared, beaten housewife and the angered redneck. But things were what they were now and there was not point in cowardice. He needed her to know she was special to him.
Well, she probably knew. The whole group knew. They were already acting like a couple, except for the physical part. Which he wouldn't mind, now that he'd wrapped his mind around it. That was the easy part, the part he knew about.
He hadn't been sure he was good enough for her, though. Or if he could take the risk of opening his heart.
What if he lost her after letting her in? The pain would be unbearable.
He had lost Carol several times already. He'd though she was dead. Had even buried her. He'd more of less coped with that, having no choice but to move on. But what if he gave her his whole heart and she died? She would take it with her and he would become the shell of a man.
Was it a risk he could take?
Could he not take it?
Right now, knowing she was out there, without his protection, drove him nuts and he couldn't wait to get back to her.
After hours of walking, the end of the journey was finally in sight and Daryl thought he'd never been so glad to see chain link fences.
"Hey kid," he greeted Carl as he neared the gate.
The boy smiled.
"Daryl! You're back!" he exclaimed.
Behind him, Merle snorted.
"So what now, boy, you're the new sheriff in town? They could find nobody out of diapers to wear the hat?"
Ignoring the remark, Carl opened the first gate and the two brothers quickly got inside. Seeing Rick running toward them, Daryl wasted no time and, using his crossbow, hit Merle hard enough on the head to see him crumble at his feet. Hurriedly, the younger man grabbed all of his brother's weapons.
"Daryl!" Rick exclaimed as he opened the second gate. He glanced at the man on the ground before meeting his friend's gaze. "We'll have to put him in a cell," he declared. "We'll figure this out later."
Daryl agreed.
"Better tie him up while he's down."
A moment later it was done and the two men looked at each other.
"Glad you're back," Rick said, putting a hand on Daryl's shoulder, who nodded again.
"Everybody ok?" Daryl asked as evenly as possible, scanning the grounds. No sign of Carol.
"Yes, we're all fine."
"How's Lil' Ass Kicker?"
Rick smiled proudly.
"Eating like a horse and sleeping like a rock, as Hershel put it."
A corner of Daryl's mouth lifted a little. "Good."
He'd only been gone for two days and already it felt like ages.
"You should go inside and see C… everybody," Rick told him. "We'll talk afterwards."
"I'll help you take Merle to a cell before I do. Maybe it would be better if I were there when he woke up."
Daryl started to bend down to grab his brother's ankles, but Rick stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"I'll take him inside with Glenn. Go."
Daryl sighed inwardly. He had spent all the trek back thinking of seeking Carol again, but now that he was there, he was getting cold feet.
Slowly, he walked up to the prison's entrance, nodding to Glenn and Maggie's hellos from up the guard tower. How come he was so nervous about seeing her again?
Back when they had parted, he had told Rick that she would understand. But now he wasn't so confident after all.
Truth was, he didn't know how she felt about him now. How had she reacted to his departure?
Had she even cared?
Damn, he knew she did, and that was why he was worried.
The fact that their relationship was a sane one, a healing one, never ceased to amaze him. How could Carol, for one, be so strong and keep on smiling despite the hardship and the loss of her beloved daughter? How could she even be friends with him, after all the crap he'd told her while he was dealing with Sophia's death?
How could she be the only person that had ever believed in him?
If she took back her friendship, if she couldn't forgive him, he wouldn't be able to bear it.
And it scared him to death.
