One Kiss Was All It Took
It had been a night like no other. Farkle was lying on his bed, his eyes closed, reflecting on what had happened. It was past ten o'clock, long past his bedtime, but Farkle couldn't sleep. It had been a crazy night. To Farkle, it was all so surreal. Nothing that could happen now would make this night better - or so he thought. The taste of Riley's lips still lingered on his and her soft, warm hands could still be felt on his hips. It had felt right at the time, but now the more he thought about it, the guiltier he felt. The more he thought, the more the contours of where her lips had been started to burn with a raging fire. He felt like he was betraying someone, though he did not know whom. Perhaps himself. Just maybe he was feeling guilty because he only now realized that he wasn't as much in love with Riley as he thought he was. Kissing her made him realize that Riley was not the one for him. But Maya wasn't either. If Riley wasn't, Maya couldn't possibly be. In Farkle's head, Riley and Maya were connected so strongly, that if he didn't have feelings for Riley anymore, his feelings for Maya ceased as well.
It was this pondering that kept him up, even if he didn't want to be awake. He couldn't help it. All he could think about was how he had lied to himself for so long. Though it might not have been lying as much as it was unknowingly acting as if he liked them even if he didn't. Truth was that Farkle had fallen out of love with the two girls who had dictated his life up until that moment.
His mother knocked on the door. Farkle just knew she would get mad because he was up this late, but he didn't care. He was too confused to.
"Farkle, shouldn't you go to sleep? We already went easy your curfew, allowing you to stay at the dance until nine, but you should really get some sleep now!" Jennifer said.
"I'm sorry mom, I'm just… I don't know, not sleepy, I guess," Farkle answered.
"Why not, something bothering you?" Jennifer asked.
"Not really, I'm just not tired," Farkle lied.
"Well, you better get tired. Lights off now, go to sleep," Jennifer said sternly.
"Yes mom," Farkle reluctantly replied.
He dimmed the light and listened to his mother descending the stairs as he lied down with his face buried in his pillow. He felt the pillow getting cold underneath his left eye and realized that a tear had fallen. He lifted his head and indeed saw a wet spot on his pillow. He buried his head into it again, letting his feelings loose as he did. More wet spots were created as more tears drained from his eyes, letting out the empty feeling he felt inside. For as long as he could remember, he had loved Riley and Maya, but now, just by one, possibly meaningless kiss, he knew that he had been wrong all that time, and that made him feel – empty. It wasn't like Farkle not to love those two girls. The biggest issue in his life – Riley or Maya – was solved. It was neither of them. He didn't live to find out who would be the future Missus Farkle Minkus anymore. There wouldn't be one. If it wasn't Riley or Maya, then no girl could ever make him happy.
It didn't take long before his pillow was fully wet, so Farkle sent it flying across the room in a sudden outburst of anger. He sat on his bed, took a deep breath and pulled himself together.
"Wow, I've never seen you like that before," a voice at the window said, startling Farkle.
"Lucas! You are only supposed to do that at Riley's bay window! You never come through my window!" Farkle responded.
"I know, but I also know that your mother wouldn't let me in if I came at the front door," Lucas said with a smirk on his face.
"Yeah, you're probably right, what are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be at the dance?"
"No, Riley, Maya and I went home right after you left. It was no fun without you," Lucas explained, clumsily climbing through the window. "Anyway, what got you so worked up?"
"I don't know, Lucas. Honestly, I kissed Riley, but all I feel is guilt," Farkle said.
"Well, perhaps you're just not ready for it?" Lucas asked.
"I don't think that's it…" Farkle said.
"How do you mean?"
"I mean that I'm not sure if I love Riley," Farkle explained.
"What? But you've loved Riley since… forever!" Lucas softly exclaimed.
"That's the thing, I'm not sure about that," Farkle replied.
"So you've made your choice? It was either Riley or Maya, so you chose Maya?" Lucas asked, his voice not revealing how he felt about it.
"No, I haven't chosen Maya. I think I've fallen out of love with her too," Farkle said, resting his head in his hands.
Lucas came sitting next to Farkle. Very brotherly, Lucas put an arm around Farkle's shoulder, tranquilizing him as the tears came back in Farkle's eyes. Farkle laid his head on Lucas' shoulder, not caring if it was awkward or not. All he knew was that he needed comfort, and he was forever grateful that Lucas gave him just that.
"Farkle, it doesn't matter that you're not sure, that happens. Everyone has it at some point in their life. It's not weird not to love anyone," Lucas said, trying to calm Farkle down.
"I just feel so empty. I always thought I loved two girls, now I love none. It just leaves such a big empty space in my heart, and I don't know if it'll ever be filled," Farkle sobbed.
Lucas put his hand underneath Farkle's chin, lifting the crying boy's head so that they looked right at each other. With the thumb of his remaining hand, Lucas wiped the tear-stained cheeks clean. Farkle stopped crying, tranquilized by Lucas' actions. Farkle's room was only dimly lit by a single street lamp that shone through the curtains, but Farkle desperately sought for something, anything to look at other than the pseudo-cowboy that sat directly in front of him, but he couldn't make out any object clearly enough to focus on it, so his gaze eventually fell back on the face of the boy he so often called a freak. Only now did Farkle really realize why he always called him a freak. Lucas bent a little forward and as he did, so did Farkle. They kept bending towards each other until their lips met in what should be the exact middle.
This was so different. The room began to spin, the only thing that mattered were the two boys on a creaky bed, joined together in a kiss that was more tender than New York had ever seen before. Both boys weren't sure what it meant, so they wanted to go easy, but the fact that neither of them pulled back was a good sign. It was Farkle who took the next step. He slightly opened his mouth, letting his tongue slip out and lick Lucas' lips, which were still closed. Lucas finally opened his mouth as well and their tongues met. They licked each other's tongues, but pulled back.
"What the –" Farkle began.
"I'm sorry – I shouldn't have done that," Lucas said, backing away from Farkle.
"No, Lucas, you shouldn't be… It's okay, I just – I never looked at you that way before," Farkle said, confused.
"Neither have I," Lucas replied, equally perplexed.
"Well, I understand now why I didn't really love Riley… I am gay, I think," Farkle realized.
"I've never kissed anyone like that before… Farkle… I think I'm in love with you," Lucas answered, blushing.
Farkle pushed Lucas back until he lied with his back flat on Farkle's bed. Farkle lied on top of him, closing the gap between their lips again, feeling the burning love once more, allowing himself to truly enjoy the boy underneath him. Kissing Lucas filled the gap he thought to be empty when realizing he didn't like the girls. Kissing Lucas filled the whole gap and more. It filled Farkle's whole heart. Kissing Lucas felt right, like kissing Riley had felt wrong. Kissing Lucas was indescribable, but Farkle could have sworn that sparks made the room so hot that he and Lucas melted into one person as their lips touched. Never, never, never did Farkle want to unseal their lips again.
