A/N: Hello! 'Tis I, a mere author bringing to you a Smash Brothers fic. Now note, this isn't your regular run of the mill Smash Mansion story that showcases those usual clichés seen on this site. This will be different, I promise you that.

You may know me as that person who won a contest and got to co-write Chapter 17 of Magical Puttemtator's SSBB Skits XD, which you should go read. So now, I'm finally writing a Smash Mansion fic of my own.

Since this has multiple characters from different universes, I did some research on some franchises I don't know about. So if some information is wrong or the character is OOC, please gently remind me. Nobody's perfect, and I'm not expecting myself to be spot on either.

This intro will be 1 of 2 parts, because it is so immensely long. After that, I hope to make shorter chapters.

That is all. Please enjoy. :D


With Smashers Like These:

Welcome to the Smash Mansion - Part 1


Brothers. Smash Brothers, as they were called. A wide array of different fighters battling it out to prove who was the best. And while they were KO'ing their opponents in friendly competition, a new enemy was hiding in the shadows, bent on killing every single last one of these brothers. He tore holes into their universe, tricked others into working for him to only dispose of them later, and caused these brothers the greatest lengths of endearment. But in the end, working as a team against this evil villain, they had won.

Now, these Smash Brothers were able to rest. They had given their all to defeat the threat and had won as a united army, and that was all that mattered. They were so dedicated as a team that they decided to see what it was like to live as a family under one roof. An experience only reserved to the faithful.

They all went to live in a nice spot on a private island in a town named Smashville, where they were only a walking distance away from the thriving village's Town Square. With them in Master Hand's care, it was bound to truly be an all new adventure.

But as the Smash Brothers enjoyed their new lifestyle in peace, away from the onslaught of danger, the question still remained:

What are they doing now?

.x.x.X.x.x.

A two dimensional figure has his head stuck in the ceiling just outside of someone's room, failing and kicking his legs frantically as he pushes on the ceiling in an attempt to free himself. In his current state, a crucial mental note runs through his head to remind himself not to make the same mistake again: Do NOT jump on bounce coils.

Just outside the doorway of the said room, an aura using jackal stares up at the ceiling with an immense uneasiness for the figure's well being. A princess in pink is standing on a ladder on the highest possible step, close enough in proximity of the squirming inhabitant and pondering how he got himself like that in the first place.

"Uh, guys..." Lucario starts off, still keeping his eyes on the entrapped victim, "Mr. Game & Watch is stuck in the ceiling."

Preoccupying the room, a person with pointed ears is sitting down on the floor beside an armored wolf, one of them with a Wii Wheel controller and the other with a Wii Remote and Nunchuk controller set. They both appear to be in the middle of a game of Mario Kart Wii.

"Really?" the pointy eared male asks, mostly with the smallest hint of concern. He doesn't even look behind himself to address the jackal.

"Yes, Link." Lucario confirms, now setting his eyes to the two inside the room.

"Wow, that sucks." the wolf is heard to say with lack of sympathy. On the game, the wolf drives over Link's player and squashes him flat with a Mega Mushroom power up. "Haha, eat on that!" the wolf laughs.

"Wolf, you made me lose all my coins!" Link angrily says as he turns his wheel to retrieve the lost coins.

"Too bad!"

"Guys, now is not the time! Mr. Game & Watch is stuck in the ceiling because he jumped on one of Sonic's spring coils! Princess Peach and I need you to help get him out!" Lucario impatiently explains to the gamers. But it doesn't even look like they heard Lucario at all, since they stay fixated on the game.

"Yeah...in five minutes." Link dismisses, waving a blind hand to the pokémon behind himself.

"Ditto." Wolf adds in.

Lucario's red eyes stare down Link and Wolf as he knits his eyebrows in irritation. Not wanting to waste anymore time with the two, he lets out a sharp huff and turns on his heels to leave their presence.

Mr. Game & Watch is still flailing his legs around as the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom observes him. She gets a grip onto Mr. Game & Watch's legs and tugs at them, but to no avail. She notices Lucario exiting the room after the failed attempt to get some kind of assistance.

"Lucario..." the princess says, looking to the aura user with her gloved hands wrapped around Mr. Game & Watch's ankles. "I hate to admit it, but I think we may need to call Bowser."

Lucario closes his eyes and quietly sighs in defeat, lowering his head. Bowser is difficult to reason with. Everyone knows that for a fact.

"I'll go get him..." Lucario says in defeat, starting to walk down the hall to go to Bowser's room.

.x.x.X.x.x.

In the living room of the Smash Mansion, a surround sound radio blasts the Brawl version of the Super Mario Bros. Underground Theme music through the air. Three people are dancing along to the music on a piece of cardboard in the middle of the room. One of them takes off his red hat, stands on his hands, then soon starts spinning upside down on the cardboard. A penguin king and a robot watch the plumber in awe, the penguin having his jaw dropped to the floor from watching the spectacle of brilliance that should be considered impossible.

The person who takes off his red hat, known as Mario, continues spinning, then stops and lay on his side on the cardboard, one arm bent on the cardboard to hold up his head while the other is bent to rest a hand on his hip. He waggles his eyebrows at the others, most likely to flaunt in their faces how good he is at nearly everything.

"Beat that." Mario boldly taunts to the robot and the king. He puts his cap back on and tips it at the penguin, who still has his jaw dropped to the floor. Realizing that the show-off is finally done with his act, King Dedede quickly pulls his jaw back up into its normal appearance.

"Pssh, you call that breakdancing?" King Dedede waves off, pretending that he's not impressed. "I'll show you what real breakdancing is!"

King Dedede steps onto the cardboard piece and cracks his knuckles. A Robotic Operating Buddy, usually referred to by others as R.O.B., scans King Dedede with a green line that vertically passes over the penguin, then whirrs as he processes his new information.

"Smasher: King Dedede. Class: Large. Chance at winning breakdance contest: zero percent." R.O.B. openly computes.

"Hey!" King Dedede shakes a fist at the robot, "I bet you can't even bend that body of yours without blowing a fuse!"

Watching the gathering of people while sitting in one of the living room couches, a second plumber clothed in green nervously wrings his gloved hands.

"Um, you guys...you shouldn't be breakdancing in here. Master Hand doesn't really allow stuff like this." the plumber known as Luigi says, voicing his opinion on the matter. Mario stands from the cardboard and walks over to his brother, then gently pats his back.

"Lighten up, Weegee. Master Hand won't know if we don't tell him." Mario assures his younger sibling. "Besides...Dedede is about to wipe the floor with himself." Mario turns to the king and flashes him a smug grin from under his mustache.

"It's King Dedede!" King Dedede repeats to (mostly) everyone in the house who forgets his title. "And I'll show you, plumber!" he says, pointing to his rival.

"Stop right there."

Upon hearing a new voice, Mario, King Dedede, R.O.B., and Luigi look off to the side to see a masked figure walking towards them, who has a dark cape wrapped around himself. His purple armored shoes clank like they always do whenever he walks.

"...Meta Knight?" Mario says, wondering why the knight came to see them.

"Yes, it is I." Meta Knight proudly addresses, placing a hand on his chest from behind his cape and bowing to the four.

"What're you doing here?" King Dedede asks the knight. Meta Knight puts his hands behind his back and starts to pace across the living room.

"It's simple, your majesty. I have come here to stop you..." he starts off.

"Oh, thank goodness." Luigi says with relief as he wipes the back of his hand along his forehead.

"...from looking foolish as I defeat you with my dancing skills."

"What!?" Both of the Mario Brothers shout incredulously. It's hard for them, and probably anyone to imagine. Meta Knight...with dancing skills?

Mario then pockets his hands and chuckles to himself with closed eyes.

"Meta Knight, I'll have you know that while I was still in Brooklyn, I was crowned the Breakdance King in respect." Mario boasts to the masked knight. "Just ask Luigi." he gestures with an open hand to his brother.

"Yeah...it's true." Luigi confirms and sighs, then looks down at the floor. Sadly, no one remembers Luigi for anything.

"Then allow me to strip you of that title." Meta Knight retorts with outspoken confidence, unwrapping his Dimension Cape and exposing his outstretched hands. He then performs his Drill Rush move to get onto the cardboard, which knocks King Dedede off of it in the process.

"WAAAAAHH!" King Dedede flies through the air and lands head first onto the couch Luigi is on, the momentum and weight causing the couch to do a seesaw effect, which sends Luigi off the couch and makes him smack face first into a nearby wall. Luigi slides down the wall and lifelessly slumps onto the floor, showing to be passed out.

Meta Knight claps his hands twice and the lights suddenly shut off in the living room. At this, Mario and R.O.B. curiously look around in the dark. A stage spotlight then shines down on Meta Knight, who has his cape hidden over his eyes dramatically. He lifts it up and looks back at Mario and R.O.B.

Tango music begins to play through the radio as Meta Knight gracefully dances to it. He side steps, twirls, and shakes his hips as if he were dancing with another person. Now it's the red plumber's turn to drop his jaw.

Near the end of the song, Meta Knight dances over to Mario, takes him by the arm, and starts twirling him rapidly. He then stops twirling him and lowers him to the floor in his arms.

The room grows dead silent as Mario looks back at the caped crusader who is breathing heavily. R.O.B. looks down to his torso as a door opens on him, then presses the button. A crowd's applause comes through the robot's speakers.

"WOOOO! Wow, that was amazing! Wooohooo! Go Meta Knight!" King Dedede says, standing up from the couch and clapping with delight. He whistles and jumps up and down.

Meta Knight uprights the surprised plumber quietly, who stares off in space as he fixes his cap.

"Meta Knight...I..." Mario falters, wishing he could say the right thing. "...I shouldn't have judged you."

Meta Knight nods with closed eyes. "Now you know I can dance fairly well." he says, and then his eyes open halfway. "But tell the other smashers about this and I'll give you a hard time." he threatens with deadpan. Mario gulps, then nods understandingly.

Luigi wakes up groggily and rubs his head, then sees that no one is dancing anymore.

"Put 'em there." Mario says as he extends an open hand to the knight. Meta Knight stares at his hand, then slowly takes it and completes the handshake.

"A good dance, indeed." Meta Knight says to Mario.

"Okay, good. No one is dancing anymore." Luigi walks over to the others.

"Yep Luigi, no more dancing..." Mario says, looking down. Luigi catches his tone.

"What are you trying to pull, Mario?" the green plumber asks the red, narrowing his eyes.

"Nothing Luigi. It's just that there's no more dancing."

"Alright."

"Because now we get to have a rock party!" Mario brandishes a red electric guitar with double necks.

"What!? No Mario, no!" Luigi pleads tugging at his brother's sleeve.

"Hit it!" Mario says to the others. King Dedede taps his drumsticks together, then starts hitting the drums. Meta Knight coolly plays a bat themed bass guitar as R.O.B. flashes colored lights around the room.

"Guys, stop!" Luigi shouts over the noise of the Halberd stage music playing. "Master Hand will—"

Luigi gets cut off off by the sound of something falling over and breaking. King Dedede had been jamming out so hard that he didn't realize his arm knocked over a picture of Master Hand and Crazy Hand together. The band stops playing their music.

"RETREAT!" King Dedede yells as he runs out of the living room. Mario holds his cap while he runs as Meta Knight flies out as well. R.O.B. speeds out as fast as his battery allows him to.

"Guys! Come back!" Luigi calls out to them. But it's no use, since they just keep running anyway. Luigi turns around and bumps into something, which causes his cap to slide over his eyes.

The plumber lifts the cap up, then sees a gloved white hand floating in front of him. He stares at the hand that floats slowly.

Luigi pulls the cap back over his eyes.

x.x.X.x.x.

78...

79...

80...

Maybe she would be able to break her record this time. Her arms aren't even tired yet, and she's doing push ups with one hand.

A woman with a blonde ponytail practices her workout routine in her room. Her skintight blue suit is much easier to exercise in, rather than using her heavy metal suit. And anyway, she'd just have to try push ups with the suit on next. She counts each time her face lowers to the floor and rises back up. Beads of sweat race down her skin.

She's almost to 100.

95...

96...

97...

98...

Bzzzz.

Samus looks over to her cell phone on her nightstand. It starts playing Metroid's Brinstar theme while it vibrates on the table.

Groaning, Samus lifts herself up from the ground slowly, then stretches and walks over to her phone. She gets a look at the caller ID. It reads as 'Unknown'.

"Who the heck is calling me?" Samus says as she slides her thumb to answer and brings the phone to her ear. A terrible job of trying to hold back giggling is heard through the receiver.

"Hello?" Samus says, somewhat annoyed by the giggles.

"Yes, hello...is your refrigerator running?" a false deep voice asks. The space warrior narrows her eyes.

"What do you mean by is it running?" Samus asks as she walks out her room and heads down the hall. She already knows who's calling her at this point.

"You know...is your refrigerator running?" the voice says shakily as more giggles escape. Samus doesn't have time for this.

"Running? As in is my fridge running smoothly?" Samus says as she stops in front of a room door.

"Or running, as in start running because I'm going to beat you down."

"Huh?"

Samus kicks down the door to Ness and Lucas' room. Her glare goes from Ness to Lucas, then lands on Toon Link, who has a phone in his hand. Everyone freezes in their spot.

Lucas suddenly gets up and runs out the room while Ness uses his psychic powers to teleport away from the others. Toon Link attempts to slide under Samus' legs, but Samus grabs him by the collar before he can get away.

An angry Samus slowly lifts the cartoon version of Link eye to eye, boring holes into his soul.

"Heh heh..." The small Hylian laughs nervously as he presses the end call button on the phone he was holding. Samus looks into his eyes more intensely.

x.x.X.x.x.

Someone enters the Smash Mansion kitchen in search of a snack. His red shoes squeak across the floor as he makes his way over to the cabinets.

"Hmm...what should I get..." a blue hedgehog asks himself. He spots a tray of striped chocolate cookies and takes it out. When he places it on the on the table and removes the wrapping, he discovers that there's only one cookie left.

"Huh. Last cookie." Sonic says as he takes out the cookie and looks at it. "Welp, it'll sure taste good!" the hedgehog says as he brings the cookie to his mouth.

"Poyo!"

Sonic lowers the cookie from his mouth and looks down to see a pink puffball looking up at him.

"Oh hey, Kirby!"Sonic greets cheerfully. "You looking for something to eat, too?"

"Poyo." Kirby says again. But Kirby looks at the cookie in Sonic's hand, then at Sonic.

"What's the matter?" Sonic asks as he watches Kirby give a sad expression. Kirby whimpers and bounces up and down.

"Poyo..." Kirby says looking at the cookie again. Sonic realizes that Kirby wants the cookie in his hand.

"Oh, you want this cookie..." Sonic says, glancing between the snack and the puffball. Kirby whimpers again as he pleads with his eyes that he desperately wants Sonic's cookie.

"Well...if you want this so bad..." Sonic sighs as he hands over the striped cookie to Kirby. Kirby makes a happy sound and he takes the cookie from Sonic, waves, then walks away in a good mood.

"Man, that was tough." Sonic says as he watches Kirby go. "But at least he's happy now."

Sonic turns back to the counter to throw away the container. But to his surprise, he doesn't believe what he sees before him.

Another cookie is in the container.

"Whoa." the blue blur takes the cookie and holds it in his fingers. "Another cookie."

Sonic is about to eat the last cookie when Fox walks into the kitchen, spots the hedgehog, then walks over to him and takes the cookie out of his hand.

"Oh sweet, last cookie. Thanks bro." Fox says as he bites into the cookie, then walks right out.

Sonic is left with his hand still in the position of holding the cookie, trying to figure out what just happened.

"...There has to be another one!" Sonic says as he suddenly jumps onto the table and watches the cookie tray closely. He stays there for a long time.

A really long time.

.x.x.X.x.x.

Everyone's favorite angel is watching a TV show in of the Smash Mansion's lounge rooms. It's not hard to guess what he's watching, since everyone in the house knows that he's always tuned into the Food Channel, despite them telling him there are so many other channels to watch. But he usually liked watching what's on the Food Channel.

On today's program, they show the process of how ice cream is made.

"...and then, we mix together the ingredients in our large cylindrical turners, kept at a steady temperature of 23 degrees."

"That's why it tastes so good..." Pit says as he hugs one of the couch cushions.

A pink ball stealthily rolls to a wall socket that the TV was plugged into. She stands up on her feet, checks to see if the angel isn't looking, then makes her way over to the single socket hole. Looking again carefully at the angel, she places her hand on the wire and pulls at it.

"And that's why when you eat ice cream, you must never—"

The TV suddenly shuts off and leaves Pit staring at his reflection on the screen. Confused, he looks over to the socket to see a pink ball staring back at him with wide teal eyes. In her small hands, she bears the TV plug.

"Jigglypuff, plug the TV back in." Pit says to the pokémon. Jigglypuff just shakes her head slowly and continues holding the plug.

Pit narrows his eyes, then stands up from the couch.

"Jigglypuff, plug back in the TV!" he says again. Jigglypuff shakes her head faster and pulls the plug closer to her protectively.

Pit walks over to the balloon pokémon and kneels down. "Jigglypuff, just gimme the plug..." he says as he reaches out to Jigglypuff's hands. Jigglypuff's blue eyes suddenly change to narrow slits, then she hisses violently at Pit, causing him to step back become freaked out. They stare at each other as the angel's heart rate increases.

Jigglypuff blinks and her eyes return to the normal circle shape they usually are.

"Palutena Almighty, why won't you plug the TV back in?!" Pit asks the pink ball. Jigglypuff retaliates by glaring, then uncapping her microphone marker to show Pit that she's not afraid to use that thing.

"Okay, fine." he sighs in defeat. "What do you need to plug in?"

"Jigglypuff!" Jigglypuff caps the marker, then shows Pit that the microphone has a cord attached to it. She points to the single socket in the wall.

"Can't you do that in a separate room?" Pit asks her, desperately wanting to return to his program. Jigglypuff growls, in a surprisingly cute manner, and grips her microphone tighter.

"Okay, okay! You can sing in here." Pit says, holding his hands up. He returns to his seat on the couch. "See, I'll even listen to you sing."

It's better to not upset Jigglypuff. Who knows what other things she can do with her marker?

Jigglypuff smiles brightly, then plugs in her microphone and taps the top for feedback. She is heard to clear her throat, then closes her eyes and open her mouth to sing.

"Jig...gly-puff...Jig...gly-puff..." the pokémon sings sweetly.

Pit is somewhat lulled by the melody. Next thing he knows, he can't keep his eyes open any longer and slowly lies down on the couch. He gradually falls asleep in the middle of Jigglypuff's song.

Jigglypuff finishes her song and opens her eyes, then sees Pit sleeping on the couch. She huffs in annoyance. Her audience isn't supposed to fall asleep!

The pink ball climbs onto the couch, then dramatically uncaps her marker as the shadowing in her face grows dark. A lightning bolt flashes behind her.

Jigglypuff scribbles anything and everything she can think of onto the sleeping angel's face. When she's done, she hops off the couch and sashays out the room like a diva.

Red the Pokémon Trainer and Donkey Kong pass Jigglypuff as they enter the lounging room. They see Pit sleeping on the couch and figure that Jigglypuff had sung to someone again. Suddenly, an idea hatches in Red's mind.

"Donkey Kong, take this." Red says quietly as he hands the gorilla a black magic marker. Donkey Kong takes the marker, then looks at the trainer in confusion.

"Art class, is in session." Red says as he holds up his own red marker. Donkey Kong grins widely after understanding Red's plan.

The trainer and the gorilla slowly approach the angel, then starting adding pictures to his face along with the others that Jigglypuff drew. Red draws a pokéball and Donkey Kong sketches a well detailed banana.

Red and Donkey Kong start chuckling to themselves as they're about to draw more pictures, when Pit opens his eyes and sees two figures drawing on him. Donkey Kong stares in silence, then taps Red when he notices that he still didn't stop laughing.

Red pauses to see the angel's eyes fully open and alert.

"...Well...this is awkward." Red states sheepishly.

.x.x.X.x.x.

A green dinosaur happily wanders the halls with 3 people on his back. The passengers are having a good time since they sing traveling songs and are laughing joyously.

"Yoshi!" Yoshi says after one of the verses, and causes the riders to start laughing again. The Ice Climbers, Nana and Popo, clap their hands together while Diddy Kong shrieks excitedly. Nana is about to start singing another song verse when Yoshi is stopped by a short man in a space suit.

"Greetings, Yoshi! And Ice Climbers and Diddy Kong!" Olimar greets cheerfully. "How are you on this fine day?"

"Yoshi!" Yoshi responds, nodding. The Ice Climbers give thumbs up and Diddy Kong tips his red baseball cap.

"That's good. Now, did you ever play a game called Brain Age?" Olimar asks the dino.

"Hmm?" Yoshi is puzzled by Olimar's question.

"Brain Age." the Hocotatian repeats. He presents a DSi XL with a Brain Age game card inside. "Brain Age is a simulation game you play to test your brain. At the end of the session, you get to see what your Brain Age is. The lower the number, the better the score!"

"That sounds cool!" Popo says, looking at the floating man's head on the game. Nana nods in agreement.

Yoshi takes the DS from Olimar and inspects the screen warily. "Hmmm..." he hums.

"Oh, don't mind me, I'll give you some space." Olimar says, stepping away from Yoshi. "Enjoy!" he calls out as he walks down the hall.

Yoshi waves, then directs his attention back at the screen.

"Aren't you going to see your score?" Nana asks, leaning over Yoshi's shoulder. Yoshi slides the riders off his back, then sits down in the hallway and rests his back against the wall. He clicks the start button.

.

.

.

"Did you finish the game?" Popo asks, sitting next to Yoshi and watching him play. Yoshi is on the loading screen that calculates his Brain Age score.

"Hold on, Popo. He's getting his score." Nana says to her fellow climber, also sitting next to the dinosaur. Diddy Kong is in front of the DS and looks over the top.

Yoshi waits for his results to appear on the screen. When it loads, the game officially tells him that his Brain Age score is...

...a whopping 24.

"Whoa! Yoshi, I think that's a really good score!" Popo tells Yoshi as he stands up. Yoshi suddenly stands up and stares into space, realizing something.

"What's wrong Yoshi?" Nana asks as she stands up as well. Yoshi doesn't respond to her either.

"I think the game broke him." the blue ice climber states observantly. Diddy Kong shakes his head gravely.

"Yoshi." Yoshi says and gives everyone a one minute signal. He dashes down the hall without giving the others time to question him.

When the green dinosaur returns after what had seemed like forever, the 3 smashers perk up and notice Yoshi carrying clothes in his hands.

"What are those for?" Nana asks, pointing at the clothing. Yoshi gets a triumphant gleam in his eye, then starts tornado spinning in front of the smashers.

Yoshi is now fully dressed in the clothes. He has a striking white wig that's styled into wild hair, science goggles, safety gloves, and a white lab coat. The dinosaur then hoists the climbers and the monkey onto his back.

"Yoshi, what are you doing?" Nana asks as she wraps her arms around Yoshi's neck.

"I think with Yoshi's newfound intellect...he's now Super Professor Yoshi!" Popo exclaims behind Nana. Diddy Kong dances in his seat.

"Yooooshiiiii!" Yoshi yells as he dashes down the hall in his costume.

"Let's go fight evil!" Nana suggests with enthusiasm.

.x.x.X.x.x.

Monopoly is seen by most as the most boring game ever. Some even know for a fact that it's frustrating, sparks greed, and even tears apart friendships. But of course, it's still a quality game that (somewhat) teaches the values of owning properties and watching your opponents overflow in debt.

Assessing this description, we can now take a peek at two swordsmen who are playing a round of this game deliberately. The royal prince of the two is grinning with sheer nobleness intact, while the other sword fighter frantically goes over in his mind that he can't screw up. Monopoly had taken away two hours of their day, and for each of them, it would either be the greatest gain or the biggest loss.

"Ike, it's your turn." Marth Lowell, informs smugly. He twirls his car game piece in between his semi-gloved fingers.

"Oh yeah, it is..." Ike says, looking down at the game board. He slowly picks up the pair of dice and shakes them around.

"And Ike," Marth starts off, "just to remind you, I've purchased almost every single property in this game. And you're also low on money. So that means if you land on any of my properties, in which there's a high chance of that happening, you will go bankrupt." Marth taunts with an evil smile. Ike swallows and tries to concentrate on rolling a good number.

But sadly, as Ike had dreaded ever since the game picked up, he rolls a two. Which meant that he had to move two spaces onto Marth's Boardwalk property.

Ike would go bankrupt, since he has to pay the fee of one thousand, two hundred dollars.

"NOOOOO!" Ike yells to the ceiling on his knees. Marth stares at his fellow swordsman.

"Ike, we're just playing friendly Monopoly. No need to go off the high end." the prince reassures his friend. Ike looks over to Marth, then slowly returns to his chair.

"You're right, Marth." Ike says, nodding.

"Glad to know." Marth smiles. "Now hand over the money." he turns up his palm to his opponent. Ike lowers his head in defeat as he looks through his money pile and prepares to fork over the cash.

Marth anticipates each second that Ike's hand moves to his to deliver the money. It's so close in his possession that he can already feel the paper in his grasp—

BAM!

The door to Marth's room busts open loudly, and a man dressed in biker clothes is revealed to be standing in the doorway.

"Wahahaha!" the man laughs maniacally. He jumps onto the swordsmen's Monopoly set up and ruins it. The table collapses under his weight.

"Wario! What the heck!" Ike yells angrily.

"You fiend..." Marth glowers, gripping his sword handle on his belt. "We spent two hours on that game! Two HOURS!"

Wario quickly stands up with all the play money in his hands. "You guys have money, so now it's mine!" Wario exclaims. Then he runs out of Marth's room.

"You'll pay for that, Wario!" Ike says as he brings out his trusty sword, Ragnell. Marth unsheathes his Falchion sword as well and does a few practice swings. The swordsmen nod at each other and run after the crook.

"Hahaha!" Wario laughs again as he looks at the money he's collected. But then he notices there's something peculiar about this money.

"Wait a minute!" Wario stops to look at a one dollar bill. "This money is fake! Who plays with fake money?"

Just then, the biker hears the sounds of two people walking behind him. Their shadows cover Wario entirely as he turns around and faces an angry Ike and a ticked Marth.

"You owe us something." Ike says, looking down darkly at the short man. Marth taps the flat surface of his sword up and down in one of his hands.

"Well, here! Take some money!" the plumber thrusts the paper at the swordsmen's faces and the slips fly everywhere, temporarily hindering the pair's view. Wario then quickly hops on his motorcycle and tears down the hallway, even though Master Hand strictly doesn't want Wario riding his motorcycle outside of the Brawl Arena, or inside the house.

"Later suckers!" Wario calls behind without paying attention to the path in front of him. On the way through the halls, he smacks into Bowser who had been trying to pull out Mr. Game & Watch from the ceiling, Super Professor Yoshi toting the passengers on his back, and somehow, Wario manages to knock into Princess Zelda. She flies up into the air and lands into Wario's lap with a surprised look on her face.

"Oh, why hello Zelda..." Wario coos as he chatters his teeth. Zelda glowers at the man in front of her.

"Wario, we can settle this the Zelda way..." the princess of Hyrule starts off. Then she transforms into her alter ego in a brief flash of light.

"...or we can settle this the Sheik way." she threatens coldly in a deeper voice. At this, Wario just laughs at Sheik.

Suddenly, Sheik's eyes widen in fear as she looks ahead of herself, then jumps out of harm's way. She rolls on the ground a couple times before sitting up in the hallway.

"Oh man, did I scare her away?" Wario says to himself. Then Wario looks ahead of the path and understands why Sheik had jumped out of the way. The wall is coming to Wario fast.

"...Oh cra—"

BOOOOOOM!

Wario crashes into the wall and his motorcycle explodes on contact. This is exactly why Master Hand hates it when smashers drive vehicles in the house.

Ike and Marth immediately began laughing their heads off after seeing Wario's collision.

"Hahahaha! What a trip!" Ike says, holding his torso in a laughter strain. Marth has to hold onto the wall so that he doesn't fall over and wipes a tear from his eye. The two swordsmen then walk past Wario as they continue to laugh.

"You have to practice a bit more in Mario Kart, Wario!" Ike says as he heads down the corridor where Wario should've turned. Marth follows behind still full of laughter.

Wario sits on the ground, charred completely black from the smoke in the explosion.

"Dammit."

.x.x.X.x.x.

A man is quietly enjoying time to himself in his room as he browses SmashTube videos on his laptop. Well, at least he's trying to, since the racket outside his room is still heard through his closed door. Typical rambunctious housemates.

This man is actually a king, and to be more specific, a Gerudo King...

Alright. If you didn't know by now, this guy's Ganondorf. Yeah. Him.

Ganondorf is on the part of SmashTube where you don't know exactly how you end up there. All he wanted to do was search a video for the meaning of the term 'DI', and in less than an hour, he's now looking at videos of panda cubs scaring the living daylights out of their mothers. The king suddenly realizes how much time he had wasted on SmashTube, so he sighs and tries to think of a quality video to watch.

He fails terribly, and ends up clicking on a video of a pug stuck in a toilet.

As he waits for the video to load, an advertisement plays on the screen. Ganondorf rolls his eyes at the minute long ad and can't wait to click the Skip Ad button in five seconds.

"Stupid advertisements..." he grumbles. "No one wants to buy an indestructible cooking mitt."

Since that's what he thinks the ad is for, he quickly directs his mouse to the Skip Ad button. But this advertisement catches his attention.

"Hey evil person! Are you tired of the princess you kidnap being saved by the hero?" a red shelled Koopa with a headset asks as he points to the viewer. Ganondorf looks on with his curiosity piqued.

"Well? Are you?" the koopa asks again. Ganondorf feels inclined to answer when then koopa cuts him off.

"Of course you are! Well fear not, because now there's a solution to that problem!" the koopa steps aside to reveal a book with a couple of CDs.

"This program will teach you how to be irresistible to any princess out there! So for 4 easy payments of 60 Smash Coins—"

"Whoa! That's too expensive!" Ganondorf says as he prepares to close the ad.

"BUT HOLD ON! If that's too much for you, then look at some guides we've published on SmashTube!" the koopa shows links to videos and tips for the viewer. Ganondorf looks at this information with great interest.

"Well...maybe I could give it a try..." the king muses to himself.

.

.

.

Ganondorf sets up a video camera on a table. He presses the record button and starts filming.

"So Zelda..." Ganondorf starts off. "...I see that you never like it when I kidnap you. Well, what if I changed that, with this?"

The king starts playing one of the suggested videos from the advertisement. He starts nodding his head to it. Then he looks up at the camera.

"I'm...too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts..." Ganondorf sings and pulls off his top, then continues dancing.

"And I'm...too sexy for Hyrule. Too sexy for Hyrule, New Pork, and Angel Land..."

Ganondorf dances to the musical break in the song.

"And I'm...too sexy for your spells! Too sexy for you spells, that it cannot be withheld!"

"Hey Ganondorf, Master Hand wants you to—"

"AHHHHHHHH!"

Ganondorf had forgotten to lock the door, and Snake ends up barging in to see quite the display.

"AHHHHHHHH OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"DEAR DIN GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"AHHHHHHHH!" Snake slams the door behind him and makes it his goal to get as far away as possible from Ganondorf's room. "AHHHHHHHH!"

Ganondorf backs up into the table in utter bewilderment. He quickly tries to turn off the camera, but he ends up tripping over an extension cord and hitting his foot on the ceiling light, which dims a little bit. Then he tries to turn it off again, but his upper body slams onto the table as he stumbles and sweeps everything off the table with his arms.

The video camera on the table catches every single moment of it.

.x.x.X.x.x.

It is now evening. The Smash Mansion continues to remain standing since nothing too crazy had happened to, or inside the house. What a relief.

After getting knocked aside by Wario earlier, Bowser is still pulling at Mr. Game & Watch in the ceiling.

"Come on Bowser, he's almost free!" Princess Peach says to the Koopa King. Bowser continues pulling at the smasher, baring his teeth in exertion.

"Princess, where are Link and Wolf?" Lucario asks as he helps pull out Mr. Game & Watch with his aura powers. Princess Peach looks into the now empty game room.

"I didn't even realize they left..." Peach says, noting that the room needs tidying.

"Grrr!" Bowser gives one final tug and Mr. Game & Watch pops out of the ceiling. But because Bowser uses so much force, he ends up punching himself in the eye.

"Yooowwch! My eye! My awesome eye!" Bowser falls to the ground in pain as Mr. Game & Watch does a walk pattern over to him. He looks up at Princess Peach.

"He'll be fine." the princess tells the 2D figure. Mr. Game & Watch curtly pats Bowser's head, then walks away from the others.

"I...am exhausted..." Lucario hunches over to hold his knees. "If you need me, I'll be in my room." he says, walking away with fatigue to his quarters.

"Thank you, Lucario." Princess Peach calls out. She now turns to Bowser.

"Bowser, let me see your eye."

"No way! Go away Peach!" Bowser tells the blonde princess with his face buried in his arms. He doesn't want her to see him in his current state.

"Bowser, I just want to check your eye. We're very far from the infirmary, and I want to see how bad it is." Princess Peach reasons. She hears Bowser growl softly, then he finally sits up with his hands over his face.

"Fine. But only for you." Bowser says as he brings his hands away from his face. "And don't blab your mouth to the others either."

"You have my word." the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom gently brings her fingers to Bowser's swollen eye. "Oh my...it's absolutely red."

"Stupid Link and Wolf! I wouldn't be in this mess right now!" Bowser says, pulling away from the princess. He exhales as air comes out his nose.

"Well you shouldn't worry about that now. Come, let's get that eye on ice." Princess Peach says, helping the koopa onto his feet. They walk down the hall together.

"So, uh, Peach...are you totally free from your schedule a couple hours after 7 o'clock tonight?"

"Bowser, if you try to kidnap me, I will take my umbrella and put it so far up your—"

"Okay, okay! Jeez! Forget I asked!" Bowser says with his hands behind his head. "Sheesh..."

.

.

.

Sonic is STILL in the kitchen on lookout to see if the cookie would come back. That's pretty much what he's been doing the whole day.

Pit is in the bathroom trying to wash the marker off his face, but only Jigglypuff's marker had washed off since her marker ink is washable. The angel sighs in annoyance as he opens his third bar of soap and runs it under the water. Either those markers are made of some sort of super ink, or the phrasing of 'magic marker' isn't universally taken seriously enough.

Yoshi is sound asleep in the hallway with Nana, Popo, and Diddy Kong snuggled in his arms. That's when Master Hand's voice rings out in the Smash Mansion's PA system.

"Good evening Smash Brothers!" Master Hand's voice booms through the speakers. Yoshi wakes up and yawns, then rubs his eyes as the others around him awaken.

"Please finish up whatever it is that you are doing and come eat for dinner. You will dine in the dining room instead of the cafeteria tonight. And the main course for dinner will be lasagna with garlic rolls and chicken soup. Sides are salad, broccoli, and mashed potatoes. Dessert will offer Princess Peach's signature strawberry cake."

"That sounds delicious!" Popo says, licking his lips.

"Let's hurry before Kirby eats all the rolls!" Nana says as she helps Popo and Diddy Kong up. Yoshi puts his sidekicks onto his back and races to the dining room.

.x.x.X.x.x.

Ah, dinnertime.

It can either be the most tension filled time of the day, or the most rewarding time of the day.

Of course being at the Smash Mansion, it's definitely waiting to be an abnormal dinner. Especially since all the smashers have been told to eat in the dining room instead of the cafeteria.

At the very long table, which is specifically crafted to accommodate the living conditions at the mansion, the smashers chat among each other over various topics. However, some are convinced they have to thank their lucky stars if they even make it past dinner.

Toon Link has a reddened left arm from Samus' Chinese burn. He has to eat his food slower, or otherwise, his arm could possibly light on fire.

Pit is unfortunately sitting next to Jigglypuff at the table. He reaches for a roll carefully, but Jigglypuff catches him and hisses in his direction with the narrowed eyes again. She then innocently sips her glass of water.

"Uh, Red? Are pokémon supposed to hiss?" Pit asks the trainer sitting on the other side of him.

"That depends..." Red says, avoiding eye contact with the person he drew on earlier. He and Donkey Kong had noticed that the ink was faded on Pit's skin, but it was still awfully noticeable.

Wario frowns in agitation, as every time Ike and Marth look over to him, they catch a case of the giggles.

King Dedede, Meta Knight, R.O.B. and Mario, who had the rock party earlier in the living room, nonchalantly eat their meals since Master Hand has a spot near them at the end of the table. Crazy Hand sits at the opposite end of the table. Luigi has the seat that's closest to Master Hand, so he slowly sips his soup in order to lower suspicion from the others.

Bowser deathglares at Link and Wolf, who both have no idea why Bowser is so mad at them, so they eat their food by the forkful while looking at Bowser stare them down. The koopa's bad eye has an ice block taped to it.

Falco had hoped that Captain Falcon wouldn't sit near to him at the table. But he hoped too hard since Captain Falcon is currently sitting right next to him. The captain keeps continuously saying 'falcon' for almost everything he does while he eats. This annoys Falco to no end, as he sits with a hand propping up his face.

"Falcon sip!" Captain Falcon announces before he takes a sip of his soda.

"Falcon cut!" he says as he cuts a piece of lasagna, then eats it.

"Falcon chew!" he says while chewing his food. Falco facepalms and furrows his eyebrows.

"Falcon swallo—"

"Captain Falcon, would you PLEASE?!" the bird yells at the man beside him. "I'm sitting right next to you! You could at least show some respect!"

Meta Knight sits quietly at the table, every now and then deliberately sliding a piece of food under his mask. Pikachu, sitting nearby, watches closely in fascination.

"Alright, everyone settle down!" Master Hand calls out to the smashers at the table. They all lower their voices until the room is silent and everyone stops talking.

"Would anyone like to tell me about their day?" Master Hand offers.

The room suddenly explodes into noises as everyone begins talking, ranting, or complaining at once.

"I got a black eye!"

"My motorcycle exploded in my face..."

"I think somebody put cursed ink into the markers that were used on my skin."

"Did anyone see my video camera?"

"I narrowly avoided an explosion! How was your day!?"

"I will always remember to knock first..."

"Chinese burn HURTS!"

"WE'RE MISSING ONE OF THE CLASSIC WII CONTROLLERS!"

"Squirtle!"

"WHOA, HEY, HEY! I only asked about how your day went! Not about your entire life struggles!" Master Hand says, calming the smashers down. When it becomes quiet again, the hand notices that someone is missing from the dinner table.

"Where's Sonic?" Master Hand asks the brawlers. Some shrug, some don't answer, and some look at each other.

"Oh, Sonic? I saw him earlier when I was getting treats for Ivysaur." Red explains. "I think he's still on the kitchen countertop, now that I think about it..."

"Would you please get Sonic, Red? Everyone should eat at the table together." Master Hand says, tapping his fingers on the table.

"Okay, sure."

Red leaves the dining room for a moment, then returns, dragging in a blue hedgehog who's fixed on an empty container. All eyes are on Sonic.

"...I think the Chaos Emeralds finally got to him..." Zelda whispers to Link.

Red places Sonic in the remaining empty seat as Sonic continues to stare at the container in his hands. Master Hand becomes concerned.

"Sonic...please eat something." Master Hand requests from the hedgehog.

Sonic feels on his plate for a roll without taking his eyes away from the container, then grabs one and aims for his mouth. He misses several times as he presses the roll on different places on his face.

Ness facepalms in secondhand embarrassment.


So...is that everyone? *checks list*

How was that? I know it might be a little boring, but the next chapters should be better. And possibly shorter. The reason this is long is because it's kinda like a series premiere; they're usually longer than the normal episodes.

Fun Facts:

- Sonic's part is inspired by a Keebler commercial I remember fondly

- Ganondorf's part was inspired by me remembering the I'm Too Sexy music video by Right Said Fred on YouTube (which got 19 million views)

This is only the first chapter (and Part 1 of the intro) of more that will come. If you liked this, then I hope to see you stay for the next one!

Until next time!

CrystalClearCourier