I Can (NOT) Relate

WEEEEE-OOOOOH-WEEEEE-OOOOH

"PILOTS OF UNIT-01 AND UNIT-02, REPORT IMMEDIATELY!"

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Fwwwsh-brr.

"Hah! Looks like I arrived just in time!"

"That's great Asuka-kun," Misato deadpans, "However… WHERE THE HELL IS SHINJI?!"

"TCH! As if I would know OR care where that baka is," Asuka pouts. Misato looks up at the screen to see Asuka sitting with her arms crossed inside Unit-02. "You know, I could do this myself!"

"Sure you could," Asuka grins happily in reply, "However that isn't the point. We want you two to work together as a team for onc-"

"-TEAM?!" Asuka screeches. Misato and the rest of the staff wince and cover their ears. "As if! If you want a team-have him work with his pet girlfriend!" Asuka makes a mocking face at the mention of Rei.

"Asuka-kun, please don't make this so difficult. I'm sure Shinji will arrive soon and you guys can do this quickly and successfully."

Ugh, I can NOT work with that baka, Asuka thinks.

Currently in the Changing Room

"I reeeeally don't wanna work with her Rei."

"I know Shinji," Rei states. She and Shinji already heard the alarms, but Shinji had such bad anxiety about the thought of Asuka that he had to text Rei to calm him down. She responded right away and now they're sitting side by side on the tan water-stained bench. The room was filled with shower heat that left the five body-mirrors surrounding them opaque. Rei had her arm around his waist and her chin on his shoulder. Shinji starred at a stain on the floor with his hands wringing together. "What about her bothers you so much? We have only spoken to her a handful of times in the last three days."

"I don't… really know. I… just started to feel comfortable here. I just got 'used' to piloting these… things, and all of a sudden SHE shows up. All she wants to do is fight me and I don't even know why," Shinji shakes his head hopelessly.

WEEEEE-OOOOOH-WEEEEE-OOOOH

"IKARI SHINJI-PLEASE REPORT TO UNIT-01 IMMEDIATELY. THE SEVENTH ANGEL IS COMING CLOSER TO EARTH."

"Shinji," Rei mumbles,"I think it is best you go now. Nothing between you and Pilot 02 will change otherwise." Shinji shrugs and stands up with Rei.

"You could be right… I dunno what I'd do without you," Shinji smirks.

"Neither do I," Rei jokes and leans into Shinji for a soft kiss.

11:21 AM

"Look who decided to show up," Asuka mocks. Fwwwsh-brr. Shinji settles into Unit-01 ignoring her.

"Sorry Miasto-san, I'm ready now."

"Great," Misato smiles at him on screen then switches to her professional voice, "The Seventh Angel, Isfrael has been spotted. It has already touched down on the outskirts of Tokyo-3. You two must work together in order to stop it. You will be launched in twenty-nine seconds."

I really hope this goes quick Shinji thinks.

"Twenty-One. Twenty. Nineteen."

That baka. He better not mess this up for me. This is only the second time I get to show these Nerv morons what I'm made of. I have to be the best. I have to, Asuka concludes.

"Ten. Nine. Eight."

Shinji looks at the screen and spots Rei in the background behind Misato. He waves to her but she doesn't do the same. He frowns then realizes his Dad, the commander of Nerv, is watching the screen from his perch. Shit. I didn't think about that. Hopefully you don't get in trouble Rei.

"One!" BSHHHHHHHHHHHH. Fwoooop. DSHHH.

"The Evas have successfully landed!"

"Alright you two, I'd like you to- Asuka-Kun!" Asuka decides to take the lead and takes of on a full sprint toward the giant spider-like Angel standing achingly still.

"Hurry up baka! I want this to end already!"

"Seriously?!" Shinji hollars. He has no choice but to follow her in hot pursuit. Before Shinji is even close however, Asuka jumps up with a war cry while pulling her prog knife from its sheath under her shoulder armor. "Asuka-san hold on!"

"Too late!" Asuka slices the Angel's crimson red core right in half and lands triumphantly turning her back to it. She flicks the blade and shoves it back into her armor. "Hah! Take that bastard." Fweeeeeee WAHHHHHHHHHHH Bzt. "Uh-oh."

"Get back!" Misato yells over the speaker. Asuka flips out of the way and staggers next to Shinji. They both helplessly watch as the Angel transforms into two separate larger stick-like beings. "Retreat immediately!"

"I think not Misato-san," Asuka argues, "I can do this!"

"Are you serious?! Again?!" Shinji whines.

"Asuka-kun. Retreat IMMEDIATELY. That was an order." Shinji shrinks into his seat. He's never heard Misato so angry. He looks over at Unit-02 and sees that she's not even there. Instead she yet again has ran off without him.

Seventeen Seconds Later

Both Evangelions are flipped upside down and buried in the grass and dirt. The Angel is unscathed and still in two parts. The pilots inside are knocked around and frazzled.

"Good work… NOT," Misato chides.