She'll never forget the day she lost her angel

I'll never forget that day, the crash, the restaurant, his proposal, my acceptance.

If only I hadn't gone to the toilet, maybe I'd have been able to save him, maybe he'd still be here beside me, as I sleep, maybe if I'd had said yes the very first time he proposed to me he'd still be here.

That was the worst day of my life and I'll never ever forget it, the day my angel died, I'm still his girl, always his girl, I always will be until the day I die and we are re-united.

I couldn't cope with the funeral so I chose not to go, I spent my time in the hospital, he would understand, I know he would.

I visited him later though, in the memorial garden, I sat and we talked, or rather I did the talking he did the listening, I cried so much that day and in the weeks afterwards.

I hated having to go to work because I knew he had spent his last moments alive there, we had worked side by side, kissed in the staff room, shared tender words in cubicle 7, that was the hardest for me, having to go into the staff room and cubicle 7.

Anna helped me through it but even she didn't understand my pain and has since left, I don't know where she's gone as she hasn't kept in touch, I needed her and she left me.

Duffy helped me, she promised it would get better and it has slightly but even she left, everyone I have needed and loved has left me and I don't know how much longer I can cope with it.

Even now I get reminded of him, my angel. Simon on his first day 'I'm the new Patrick Spiller' I could have killed him, Harry never knew him so he doesn't understand the 'fuss' Jack knew my angel and now he's dead, maybe I'd be better off dead?

Spencer the only person who stuck by me, he's my mate and I'm proud to say that. He liked Patrick and he was a great support to me in the aftermath of his death. Sadly I don't see him any more, which is a great shame. He was special.

Nikki was there at the crash site, she saw us together, she smiled, she was happy that he got out alive but even now he has her own demons to cope with and won't help me with mine.

Maybe I'd be better off dead, re-united with my angel

Nobody here would care.

I'm just another doctor, just another face in the crowd.

I don't want to live anymore, please come and get me.

A/N: Please Read and Review, please let me know if this brought tears to your eyes as you read this.