Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, do you think I'd be publishing it here?

A/N: I wrote this as an experiment to judge the popularity of the SS/HG pairing. It was wildly successful, more so than any of my other stories combined. With that knowledge, I have deemed it appropriate to release this one shot to the general public.

This story is AU, the characters are OOC, and the whole thing is dedicated to mysterious works for me, just because she hates HP. Love ya, shorty!

"Let's have a baby," Hermione said.

"What?" Severus half-yelped, his eyes going wide at the witch in his arms.

"Let's have a baby!" Hermione repeated with more enthusiasm, her face beaming at him.

Severus stared at her, his mind scrambling for some sort of response. He finally sputtered, "Why?"

"Why not? Come on, let's have one." Hermione suddenly pulled away, her happy expression turning into an edgy pout. "Unless you don't want one…" she said, her voice containing a frightening note that would send lesser husbands running for cover.

"No, it's not that, it's just, just…" Severus' fumbling was cut short when he suddenly straightened and narrowed his eyes.

"Someone else has one, don't they?" he challenged.

"Yes," she said with an indifferent shrug, then unexpectedly dissolved into a brilliant smile. "Harry and Ginny!" she squealed, squeezing him again. "It's a girl and they're so happy and they're naming her after me and everyone's so excited and she's so adorable and can we have one please?"

Severus was again left staring in bewilderment at the woman glowing up at him.

"Hermione…You are aware of everything necessary to produce a child, aren't you?" The question was posed in a very awkward tone of voice that Severus hadn't used since he was a teenager. He looked at her with an almost desperate hope that she would catch his meaning and not force him to elaborate; but it became apparent that she hadn't when she looked up at him and opened her mouth.

"Like what?" The question, innocently asked, made Severus flinch.

"Well… like…sex," he finished delicately.

They had entered into this marriage with full knowledge that their sex life would not be very active. It wasn't that they were celibate. There were a few times where they had both ended up in one of their separate bedrooms, but that was usually when they had something to celebrate and dinner and some wine just wouldn't do. The one rather memorable exception had been when Severus had consented to take Hermione to some sappy, romantic Muggle film. He personally didn't see how a boat sinking and hundreds dying could be romantic, but had stopped caring when Hermione had crawled onto his lap halfway through.

Theirs was a marriage built on intellect, bonded on the battlefield, and very infrequently consummated in the bedroom. There had been no mention of children, no plans for a family. He had been quite content to stay childless, and he thought she shared his contentment. Now, though, as he looked at his inquisitive wife, he began to realize how badly he had misjudged things.

Hermione huffed a sigh. "I know that you need sex!" she said. "It's not like we've never done that before."

"Well, yes," Severus blustered with annoyance, "but this is different! We'll need a greater quantity of sex to have a baby, and it'll take time; and I am older, so it might never happen at all, and…" He trailed off as he saw Hermione beaming at him again.

"So you're saying we're going to have one?" she whispered, looking up at him with pure hope in her eyes.

"Well, I, uh…" He stopped, recalling what exactly he had just said. He looked at his love, took a deep breath, then began again with what he hoped were the right words.

"Hermione Jane Snape… Will you have my child?"

"Yes," she whispered, giving him such a look of joy that he knew that he would never regret his decision.

"Then let's have a baby," he stated formally, and so saying, picked her up to carry her to the bedroom.

A/N: Reviews much appreciated. Flamers will be hexed. If you don't like the pairing, rest easy in the knowledge that I don't either, and therefore will NOT be requiring your unnecessary input on the subject.