Author: Ithilwen C. Malfoy

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: RL/SS

Time period: During Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts

POV: First Remus, then Severus. Separated by

Warnings: Slash

Spoilers: OotP


Terminus

Remus:

"We've talked about this, Remus," he says. My name on his lips sounds wonderful as usual. He could tell me to throw myself off a cliff in that voice and I'd gladly do it. "We knew this day would come." I go to him, and rest my cheek against his shoulder.

I sigh, "It was easy then. The reality of it's slightly harder to deal with." I slide my arms around him, "But you don't have a choice." He says nothing for a moment and I listen to his heart beating gently, my chest against his back. The comfort I have found here since Sirius washes over me, and I am near to basking in the warmth of this man's presence

"I've always had a choice," he says bitterly. "I've simply never had a reason to make a different decision. Until now," he turns in my arms and looks at me.

I step away from him abruptly, shaking my head, "Oh no, Severus. You're not going to make me feel responsible for this. I can't decide for you. I won't decide for you." He smiles sadly. His smile is always so beautiful, probably because it's so rare.

"Every time Albus has ordered me into that viper's nest, I've gone willingly. After all, I've always been somewhat casual about things like danger. I was a perfect spy, and Albus used me well," a slight ironic twist ghosts across his face. "But now things have changed. I can no longer rush headlong into this with the reckless abandon of my youth."

I move towards him once more and almost smile, "Have I changed you, Severus Snape?"

"I fear you have." He frowns, "Why am I suddenly needed? Surely I've done enough."

I nod, "More than enough. But we still need you." He looks at me and for a few moments I have no idea what he's thinking.

"What will you do if I go?"

"I'll wait for you."

"And if I didn't go?" I say nothing and press a gentle kiss to his cheek before leaving him alone to his musings. No matter how much he is loathe to admit it, we both know he'll go.

Later that night as we lie tangled and sweaty and sated, I kiss his shoulder and rest my cheek against his bare skin, "Why are you so against going?"

There is silence for a moment and then he sighs and rolls over to face me, "I'm not against going. I'm against going now."

"Fine, then. Why are you against going now?"

"You know perfectly well why," he says, looking up at me. And I do. "If I die, which is, let's face it, highly likely-" (He always did have a way with words) "- I'll have missed out on so much of my life, just as I find myself enjoying it. So, even though I would love to prescribe to the school of thought that says I won't care when I'm dead, the fact remains: I do not want to die. Not now, not yet."

I smile down at him, a little confused, "What makes you so sure you'll die? Why this time? You've done this hundreds of times before and you've come back in one piece. One very sexy piece, in fact…" I bend my head to kiss his chest, but he pushes me away gently. He's serious now.

"Sod's law, which seems to delight in plaguing me, dictates that every other time, when I was indifferent to life and death, I survived. This time, however, precisely when I want more than anything to live, I'll die. A particularly sadistic God's way of proving that he exists, and has a thriving sense of humour," he smiles at me until the look fades and he becomes more serious. "There's something brewing, so to speak. Something serious is going to happen, I can feel it. The Mark… has been getting stronger for weeks. I'm suffering from a distinct sense of impending doom." He strokes my cheek softly with his fingertips, "I can't leave now. Albus will need me here." He must be serious, because he never talks about the Mark.

I rest my cheek against his palm and grin at him half-heartedly, "What makes you so sure of your own importance?" He simply raises an eyebrow. "And what about me?"

"You?"

"I might need you here, too," I say softly.

He hardly misses a beat, "Then I might have to tell Albus to find himself a new spy…" He growls in a decidedly feral manner and is about to pounce on me – an appealing idea – when Albus' voice echoes through my chambers.

"Remus! May I see you in my office, immediately? And if you happen to know of the whereabouts of Severus, could you bring him along, too?"

And it all goes Supernova.


Severus:

I know he understands that I have to go.

He puts his arms around me and rests his head on my shoulder and I would give everything to stay.

"Come back soon," he whispers, and kisses my cheek. We said our goodbyes last night. Three times, in fact. I can still smell him on my robes and on my skin as I step away. I close my eyes and begin to walk. I don't need to look back, I won't. "Severus!" he calls, and runs to me. Please, don't make this harder. I turn around.

"Remus, please… don't -" He shakes his head and presses a finger to my lips.

"I love you, Severus Snape," he whispers. "I love you more than anything, so don't you dare leave me here…" …without you, he doesn't need to say it.

And – oh God, I know, I know. He threads his fingers in my hair and pulls me towards him and he's clinging to me. His lips are desperate and his tongue is demanding, but I push him away gently, "Stop, Remus." He looks at me, and his cheeks are wet.

"I love you, I love you, I love you…" he whispers, "I love you, so much. Oh God, I love you."

"I have to -"

"I know, I know, but not yet." He grasps my robes, "Just five more minutes."

I shake my head, "I love you." It has never been harder for me to say, because I know this is the last time.

He closes his eyes and more tears slip down his cheeks, "Come back soon."

The one thing I cannot promise. But I nod and in an instant I am gone.


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