Love Pandemonium, Indeed:
In which Juvia's love and loyalty toward Gray-sama is waning and she desperately tries to hold onto the last fragments of it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.
A/N: I'm a total Gruvia fan, but I just suddenly thought of this one day. Thought it was a neat idea . . . .
She had thought that only her Gray-sama's breathtaking voice could send soft tremors of delight along her spine's edge, that only his scent and his alone could make her sway on her feet in an enchanted daze. That only his touch could melt her skin, that only his words could dilute her senses as they wafted pleasantly throughout her eardrums.
She'd been positive that only the sight of Gray-sama's naked torso (and beyond) could cause her cheeks to redden ecstatically, or make her feel so utterly enthralled with the beauty of muscular abs and a lovely tattoo.
She had known that her mind was only to be filled with pleasurable fantasies of her and him, of Gray-sama, that could make her face heat and heart stutter zealously beneath her ribs.
But . . . it wasn't.
No. Somebody else would shiver her body with merely an ounce of contact; somebody else could have her awakening in cold sweats and longing for his body in bed with hers just for the comfort of it.
Somebody else could make her yearn, make her ache so badly for affection that her skin was always prickling to his touches of her wild imagination. It wasn't only Gray-sama.
It wasn't only Gray-sama.
Even though the thought scared her to no end, even though the idea made her lips tremble slightly as she fought the urge to cry, she knew it was true.
It was.
Because with him there beside her and the fluorescent lights gleaming off of his pallid, snow-white hair as he smiled at her— a charming smile, something warm and enticing that Gray-sama never did or bothered to flash toward her —she could feel something. A feeling that was supposed to be primarily reserved for Gray-sama, a feeling describes as "butterflies in your stomach."
Severe butterflies whose wings brushed unmercifully against her insides, that flipped and somersaulted recklessly until she was giddy and lightheaded, ready to faint.
She loved Gray-sama. She was absolutely infatuated with him, wasn't she, so why was she allowed to feel the same sensations that she had set aside for him for someone else? Why was she feeling the same for another?
Why was it that he could take her hand in his and she wouldn't object to it, but flush with flattery?
Like at the moment.
His average, comfortingly masculine hand was now over hers on the counter of the bar that he was treating her to, but instead of pulling away, she offered him a small smile, her cheeks warming involuntarily.
"You're so lovely when you blush, Juvia darling."
He told her that all the time because he could always make her face redden (another effect that she'd thought Gray-sama only had on her) yet the freefall feeling in her belly never ceased in all the times that he'd told her.
His voice was so smooth and suave, something completely beautiful and nearly accented that it caused her to stammer. "Th-Thank you, Lyon-sama."
It . . . it hurt her how she had to tell him thank you, something she had been planning for so long to reply to Gray-sama with once he finally called her pretty.
Pretty.
It was something that Lyon thought her. She knew; he would always tell her, whether it was a tickling whisper in her ear that made her face color, or a gaze into her eyes as he spoke, but he thought her pretty.
Beautiful.
Gorgeous.
He rattled off the synonyms as if they couldn't properly describe her well enough, and then resorting to hand gestures and hoping that she would get what he meant.
She always got what he meant.
Lyon, although he was always trying to steal her away when she with Gray-sama, appreciated her. He complemented her and was willing to love her, eager to open his heart to her in that polished way of his.
Something she'd waited for so long for Gray-sama to do to her.
But she loved Gray all the same, didn't she? Even though Lyon could also do the same things to her that Gray did, all because he'd worked his way into her heart with his possessive, yet warm, dark eyes and words . . . words so heavenly that she wished Gray-sama would just utter them to her.
Lyon's actions were forward and without a hint of a blush: like when he would delicately pinch an azure lock of her hair between his fingers to examine in admiration, or sometimes pull her into his lap with a proud grin, despite her halfhearted protests (why were they only halfhearted?) when they were alone.
It was Lyon's bold flippancy, so unlike Gray-sama in a way, that caused her to feel a way for him . . . the way he expressed himself and his love for her really dawned on her that he cared and obsessed over her like she was for Gray-sama.
Lyon was intimate with her, not anything vulgar, really; he just liked to be close to her and she would never oppose to it because . . . because . . . .
It was a pain how she didn't exactly know why.
But she liked his odor . . . it was strangely minty, a smell that once inhaled, could make her a nice kind of dizzy as she . . . she leaned into his warm, yet oddly chilly aura.
But Gray-sama was hers. Gray-sama would always, always be hers. It . . . it didn't matter that Lyon also had an identical effect on her heart . . . did it?
"Juvia . . ." He was twirling his index finger around her own, eyeing her with a concern that caused her to fidget on her stool. "Are you alright? You seem pensive . . . ."
She wondered why she wasn't pulling her hand away as she stared at their intertwined fingers. "Eh? Oh, no, Juvia is fine, Lyon-sama. Please don't worry. It's nothing."
He seemed unconvinced, studying her a little too carefully before saying, "Can I ask you something?"
She glanced sideways at him, her heart rate accelerating like it did whenever Gray-sama wanted to ask her something. "Y-yes, Lyon-sama . . . of course."
"Even though we're here together, but I just . . . do you love Gray?" There was a rigid edge to his voice as he asked it, his jaw set and eyes the slightest bit in distress as he gripped hand a little more protectively.
Maybe . . . maybe it was his nearly distraught expression that he was trying to hide that made her actually hesitate in answering, or the hopeful glint in his eyes that were evidently anticipating the answer no. But it took her a moment to finally reply, something she knew would've never occurred back before she'd met him if someone had made that inquiry.
Even so, she gave his hand a squeeze (just because she was a nice person, she was sure) and breathed a sigh that was oddly not one of delight. "I . . . Juvia loves Gray-sama wholly with every ounce of herself. Yes, Lyon-sama . . . Gray-sama owns Juvia's heart."
She wasn't lying. Although she suddenly felt flustered and uncomfortable, and was weirdly not losing herself in her daydreams, she couldn't have been lying.
She loved Gray-sama. And n-nobody else, right?
Almost tentatively, she peered at him from the corner of her eyes, absently clutching the hem of her skirt with her other hand.
He appeared a little deflated, his face a tad bit mad and offended as he took a sip from his drink, slowly shutting his eyes. He was hurt, she could tell, even while he began to change his expression to pokerfaced, because she'd already seen it before he closed his eyes.
"J-Juvia is . . . sorry to hurt you, Lyon-sama." Her throat was constricting for some reason as she bit her lip, watching him intently with worry.
But she was angry with herself for apologizing for loving somebody. Why would she do that? It . . . it wasn't like she regretted telling him that, like she was repentant for declaring that she loved Gray . . . .
Lyon's hand fully enclosed over hers as he looked up from his glass, his dark eyes concentrated. "I love you anyway."
She blinked at him, feeling her chest jolt with something akin to electricity while she sputtered an "A-ah?"
His words were tender, so warm and adoring, whilst drifting melodiously in circles like a sweet song within her head. It diminished her wits like a sedative, but in the most blissful way possible so that her heart was fluttering hysterically in her chest.
T-that . . . that never happens with Gray-sama, she realized with a panicked start.
"I'll love you anyway, Juvia," he murmured softly, locking onto her gaze, "even if you do feel smitten with Gray . . . I'll always still feel love for you."
He . . . loved her. He told her he loved her . . . Gray-sama, as much as she'd dreamed that he someday would, never had. But this man, this man that she was suddenly very fond of did. He made her blush and feel wanted and affection that she'd never experienced before.
Not from Gray-sama.
Not from anyone but him.
Lyon Bastia.
"L-Lyon-sama, I . . . ." Her eyelashes fluttered, surprised, as she wondered when she'd leaned in and gotten so close to his face, and he looked faintly startled as well.
When she tried to back up and off, suddenly coy, he didn't let her, instead holding her there by her waist with their lips centimeters apart. His obsidian eyes were studying her in a way that rose icy goosebumps along her bare arms, but she loved it. She loved it so much, all the attention he gave to her, the way he made her feel . . . .
She was breathless at the edge of her stool. "Y-You . . . Juvia is so . . . ." Her entire body was on fire, his hands excruciatingly warm on her sides, though he was an ice wizard, but wonderful all the same.
Something was there, nagging at her, back in the furthest depths of her mind, yet she couldn't figure what it was at the moment . . . not with her being so winded and ardent . . . .
His fingers were making her the slightest bit ticklish as he arched a white eyebrow in a way that made her flush, pressing, "Is there something you need to tell me, Juvia darling?"
"L-L-Lyon-sama . . . J-Juvia —"
She locked her lips with his.
It was something done on impulse, spontaneous and spur-of-the-moment, yet he seemed to be unfazed by it, though she'd instantly frozen up . . . even though it was her own move, as he hugged her as close as she could get with them being in opposite seats.
The kiss was something soft, not at all as ravenous as she'd thought it might be, with one of his hand's palms against her cheeks.
She could feel herself being lost in it and it was as if she were doing everything unconsciously, feeling unconsciously, moving and acting unconsciously.
That was what Lyon did to her: he made her feel dazed and confused, but in such a lovely way that she didn't care.
She didn't care.
She didn't care that she was there at a bar with Lyon, kissing him, and—
The niggling in the corner of her mind wasn't so small anymore, but large and more annoying and suddenly . . . suddenly she could see a face, a handsome, really handsome face with disheveled dark hair and eyes and—
"G-Gray-sama . . . ."
They had simultaneously pulled away from each other once she had uttered his name, and Juvia could feel water on her cheeks for what she had done. It had to be a sin— kissing another when you were in love with somebody else.
It . . . it was Gray-sama, he was the only one she loved. Her heart, her mind, and soul belonged to him and then she'd went and sullied her lips for a kiss that should've been theirs.
Theirs.
Hers and Gray-sama's.
Yet, even though she was distraught with hot tears dampening her face as her water body boiled in distress, the butterflies that swarmed in her stomach for Lyon had not subsided.
Which confirmed the fact that her heart wasn't fully the property of Gray Fullbuster . . . along with the unsettling idea that it never had been, anyway.
A/N: Jeez . . . what was I thinking to write this? Juvia would never do anything like this, I'm sure . . . her love for Gray is unfathomable and isn't to be broken at all. And like I said before in my other Fairy Tail fic (It's Gruvia, btw): I fail hard at endings!
So you can flame me and tell me it's OOC. Or you can review me with wonderful praises that you know I'd like and tell me that you loved it anyway. ;) LOL, I'm just kidding, but whateves . . . send me a review anyway, aight? :D
