Summary: Deadpool spots James one day and decides to confront him, and steal his bike. Chaos ensues.
Characters: Deadpool and Logan
Takes place after X3.
I don't own anything.
Rated K+ for poorly written fight scenes
The legendary fighter, the Merc with the Mouth, Wade Wilson sat on his bike eating a Slurpee. Today, he had decided that it was his civic duty to find out what flavor of Slurpee is in fact the best. So far he had just eliminated black cherry from the running.
As he sucked some strange red mush up his straw he noticed a motorcycle flying down the road. It was literally a blur, moving way too fast to be a normal bike. He stared at it wide eyes in wonder as the thing belted by. Probably some fancy pants mutant showing off, he mused.
Wade resumed his task.
He heard the bike this time before he saw it and this time as it passed he managed to catch a glance of the rider.
His draw dropped. Could it be James? Old James? He tossed his cup on the ground and didn't feel bad about it. He was a rebel. He would litter blatantly and no one could stop him. He slid onto his own motorcycle and pressed his foot to the pedal. He had an old friend to pay back.
Sure it was James who saved him from the cancer he was dying from, but he didn't even know he did it, and didn't mean to. So it didn't count. What did count was that he cut off his head.
Wade didn't particularly like people who cut off his head. Besides he was bored, and what else was there for an unemployed mercenary to do?
He took off after the biker. He was already a good distance behind the ridiculously fast motorcycle. Still, he managed to follow him, although now his bike seemed woefully slow. He was already plotting a clever theft of the super fast bike. And once he had that bike he would name it Sally or Death Razor.
It all would have been much easier if he could just teleport or shoot Logan with laser beam eyes but unfortunately both powers had been disabled when his head was cut off. Wade secretly suspected that the real reason was that the author of this was just annoyed at the movie for giving him laser beam eyes and thus took his powers away, which was a real bummer. Whatever the reason, he was willing to trade his laser beam eyes for his freedom from being remote controlled.
James led him straight to a giant mansion. Wade whistled appreciatively as he stared at the massive building and wondered how many people James had killed to get a place like that.
As he got closer he noticed that the mansion was in fact a school, owned by a Charles Xavier. Interesting. What was James doing at a school? He must have really mellowed out in the past couple years. Or he was going to kill a bunch of kids. Wade hoped it was the second one.
Wade slid to a stop on the road near the gate to the school. He hopped off his bike and then grabbed his two kantas from his bike and secured them onto his back in a practiced motion. Sure, he now had swords built into his hands, but real swords were so much cooler, and you could swing them around and throw them and stuff. Much cooler. He easily hopped over the fence. He then walked up the long driveway.
Wolverine wiped a smudge of oil off the bike. He had finally got it working since that crazy new kid had run it into a tree. That kid was lucky that Storm was around when he found out or that kid would be in a world of pain right now.
"So, ya done?" Rouge asked as she entered the garage.
"Yea. It's all fixed. But if I even catch that kid looking at it…" He trailed off.
"Oo, are you threatening students?" Came a strange yet, somehow oddly familiar voice. Logan spun around and found a strange man leaning against the wall.
"Who the hell are you?" Logan growled, hoping it wasn't a new teacher; he already didn't like this guy.
"James, I'm crushed. And you didn't even call me bub."
"James? That's not my name."
Wade paused for a moment and stared at James, confused for a moment. "I think you got shot one too many times in the head," he said finally, as he tapped his own forehead with his index finger.
"What?" Logan asked, now confused and annoyed.
"Who are you?" Rouge asked.
"Wade Wilson," he said, winking at her.
"And how do I know you?" Logan asked.
"We were once hunting partners. You, me, your brother, Wraith, and Zero. Then you ditched us, and killed Zero." Wade shook his head sadly as Logan just stared for a moment.
"My brother?" Wolverine finally asked. He had no idea what was going on. This guy either had mistaken him for someone else or was messing with him.
"Yea. So why are you at a school? You trying to follow in the footsteps of your deceased dearly beloved? She was a teacher right?" Wade asked.
"What are you talking about?" Logan said, starting to get very pissed off.
"Silver fox," Wade said and did a little hop. This was fun. He'd forgotten how much fun annoying James was.
"Listen, I think you got the wrong man. I have no idea what you're talking about, bub," Logan said.
Before Wade could argue Rouge cut in. "Are those swords on your back?"
"Um, yea," Wade said.
"Why?"
"They're part of my hobby," Wade said, annoyed by white streak girl.
"Which is?" Hank asked.
"Killing people," he said. Hmm, maybe a bit too honest, he thought as the conversation suddenly froze and the girl gazed at him with an expression of complete horror.
"Why are you here?" Wolverine growled menacingly as he took a step so that he was between Rouge and the mercenary.
"Well, hmm. I don't remember. Oh, wait. I was going to steal your bike. Yea, that was it," Wade said cheerfully. "You going to fight me kitty?" He asked taking a step back.
Wolverine claws slid out from his hands.
"Ooo, so shiny." Wade said dancing slightly in place with excitement.
Wade was torn between wanting to show off his awesome adatantium sword and keeping it as a surprise since James had apparently forgotten everything. The second would be a tactical advantage, but he might not be able to see the look on Wolvie's face when he pulled those suckers out if he waited. And that would be a total waste. Still…
He drew the swords from his back twisting them in his hands. He looked at Wolverine.
"Logan," Rouge said nervously as she backed away from the two men.
Logan glanced at her. "You're right kid, that punk isn't worth the effort." Logan turned and headed to the door and sheathed his claws.
Wade looked down at the sword in his hand and then reached out and sliced through the tire of the motorcycle Wolverine had been working on. Too late he realized that that would make stealing it a lot more difficult. Of course, right now, he just wanted to kick James' butt.
Wolverine slowly turned around and glared at him. Wade smiled in return. "Ooops?" he said as innocently as he could.
I hope you enjoyed the first half. If you did, please take a moment and review! Thanks!
