Hi, thanks for reading, this is my first spn fic so constructive criticism would be nice. The fic is based on a song by Gabriel the Marine called 'Like A Child' and you'll see a few lyrics at the top of each chapter. Quick disclaimer, I don't own the show or the song, and I hope you enjoy!


Love me like a child

When I'm tired and ashamed

'cause if you love me like a child

I'll grow older every day


Sam and Dean Winchester were always meant for something greater. Something more than just the Earth and its regular people. Something more than their father's Impala rusting away in some garage. More than just being a boy that dropped out of Stanford when his girlfriend died, more than a womanizer who couldn't finish high school.

They found it in battle. In the sand and the heat and the camouflage. In a far off country where civilians spoke a strange language with a different culture, civilians they were meant to protect; first as soldiers, then as hunters.

For it was there, in the sand and the ruined world where Dean died, a bullet piercing his heart. And it was there where Sam continued to fight, fight for his brother and the boys of the small, broken towns they passed in their patrols, his only motivation being those children. He didn't want anyone else to lose a brother to an oppression they couldn't understand.

And it was there where Dean returned, breaking out of a pine box because his brother had no one to send him home to, so he left him in the country he died trying to protect. And it was there where they reunited and met the angel Castiel, and proceeded to fight as they hunted the supernatural, protecting all they could. The troops they fought with, many of them family, the Campbells, were understanding, and sometimes they left the front to hunt down angry spirits and pagan gods and vengeful witches, but they never stopped saving people.

It was in their world of sand where they met a demon named Ruby and her boss, Lilith. It was in their never ending heat where they fought Lucifer. It was in their country, foreign but they still called it home, where Sam died, returned without a soul, got it back. Where Dean fell for a local woman and her little boy, where he put them in danger, where they forgot him. Where Castiel was killed by Satan, returned, released the Leviathan, forgot, remembered, saved a friend, went mad. Where they left Sam alone when they went to Purgatory, and where Dean and the vampire were spit out, months later.

It was Hell, it was Heaven, it was home. The sand. The blood. The pain and the love. They wouldn't trade their world for anyone else's. And, though he could not, Dean would trade anything for Castiel's return.


"Dean?" Sam was calling to him from inside. The twenty four manned platoon had set up a tent just outside the capital, awaiting another platoon to return from a scouting in the nearby mountains to give them a safety report. It was assumed that a group of terrorists where hiding in the area, but satellites and drones had revealed nothing.

"What's up?" Dean answered, walking in from scanning the horizon. He saw his brother leaning over his laptop, and he knew something must've happened.

"I've got some weird stuff here, check it out." Sam said, motioning for him to come closer. "Two and a half kilometres north of here there was supposed to be a thunderstorm, but according to the radars, the clouds literally just dissipated."

"We've seen strange weather here before, Sammy." Dean started loading one of the rifles, unfazed. "Besides, storms are usually a sign of big demon action. Not having storms can't exactly indicate the same."

"But get this." He countered. "There was a team scouting the area and they reported seeing a beam of light. Dean, that's what happened when you and Benny got out of purgatory. I think something else got out."

"Impossible." Benny walked in, joining the conversation. He took off his beret to wipe his tanned forehead. "You'd need some serious juice to get out of there."

"And that beam was probably just an explosion, a test or something. Happens here all the time." Dean turned and started to leave the tent to confer with the others on supplies, convinced.

"Oh my God." Sam uttered, in such a way that Dean had to stop and face him, now doubting himself and his certainty.

"Sammy? What is it, Leviathan?" He asked, his voice soft with fear. He had seen the affects they had on the locals, and even known what they did back in the states, and this terrified him far more than he would ever admit.

"Troops also reported seeing a man roughly six feet tall, Caucasian, brown hair, and shot at him when he ignored orders. He disappeared, and a manhunt is now underway, with some soldiers believing him to be a kidnapped terrorist victim. He was wearing a suit, a tie, and a trench coat." Sam looked up at him, and Dean looked to Benny in shock.

"It can't be the angel, though." Benny hesitated. "We saw him...get dragged down by something. There was light everywhere, we thought for sure-"

"Maybe not." Sam interrupted, a smile starting to grow on his face. "Dean, maybe Cas is alive. Maybe he's here."

Dean stared at him, then looked around the tent as if he'd never been in one before, thinking. Finally, he nodded to the expectant vampire and his eager brother.

"We have to go see if it's him. I don't know how he could've gotten out, but if he did, we need to be with him." Dean said, determined, but there were a thousand doubts and worries swirling in his mind.

"I'll pack a Jeep. Let's leave right away." Sam stood and walked out the entry way, and Benny, after a moment of hesitation, followed. Dean glanced at the laptop's screen, and gave a tired sigh, then began to pack a duffel bag.

They set out within the hour, their fellow soldiers knowing something was happening that made them need to go, but not what exactly. In the Jeep, Benny drove, with Sam in the passenger seat with a compass and a map, directing them north. Dean, in the back, let out a huff.

"Why does Benny get to drive?" He yelled over the noise of the engine, working its hardest over sandy terrain.

"Because knowing you, and knowing that Cas might be out there, you'd be driving fast enough to break our necks." Sam yelled back, and Benny let out a low chuckle.

"The last thing I need is my head flying, Dean."

The rest of the trip was relatively silent, the three men sitting in deep thought as the sun lowered in the sky beside them. While most of Sam and Benny's efforts seemed concentrated on not getting them all killed by flipping the Jeep or getting sand in the engine and having them stranded, Dean had one final flashback.

He, Benny, and Cas were running through the forests of Purgatory, dodging between large trees and jumping over rocks and fallen branches. Their lungs were on fire, and their legs felt like lead, but still they pushed on, terrified to stop. After several long minutes of hearing nothing but their footsteps, their ragged breaths, and the swish of Castiel's trench coat, they turned and hid in the brush beside a small stream. Dean grabbed Cas' arm, and they looked each other over, sighing when realizing the other had not been harmed.

"We can't keep running from these Leviathan, Dean." Benny was the first to speak after they all caught their breath.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Benny? I'm not leaving him!" Dean said ferociously.

"It seems we've escaped them for now." Cas peered around the dying brush.

"Yeah, see Benny? It's fine, everything's fine." Dean wiped the Leviathan's black goo from his handmade weapon, barely repulsed. "And we're almost there."

"Fine. Let's just go now, before they pick up our trail." Benny stood, and Cas and Dean pulled each other up.

They walked beside the stream for several quiet hours, stumbling over the small pebbles that covered the surrounding area. At last they came to a steep hill, and began to trek upwards, lungs heaving and shoes and clothes getting caught in uneven dirt, assorted weeds, and the abundance of

indiangrass.

Upon reaching the top, they saw the forest as it usually was, with only one difference: a door. Standing with no walls, no building, just a simple, faded wooden door. They all stared, Dean's mouth gaping, before Benny gave him a wry smile.

"There's our way home, brother."

Dean clapped Cas on the back, who surprisingly smiled slightly, too. "Let's get the hell outta here."

They walked cautiously towards the door, weapons up, and in the corner of his eye, Dean saw something dart through the trees. He grabbed Cas and pulled him back, ready to defend him. What he wasn't ready for, however, was the sound that came next, a low rumble that came from the ground itself. The dirt around them began to hum, then shake, violently enough to make the trees sway.

"What the hell is this?" Benny yelled out over the roar of the earth and snapping of tree limbs.

"Something doesn't want us to leave." Cas said, but only Dean heard. He looked Cas in the eyes as he stepped forward, from behind him to beside him. "Something in the ground."

He stepped forward to investigate, and Dean put out his hand, reaching out to stop him from moving further, but then terror shot through him. The dirt beneath Cas' feet began to fall away, becoming a large crater. Cas turned to him, panic in his eyes, and then yelped in surprise as he was pulled down. Dean was there in a heartbeat, grabbing his dirty hands and keeping him above the surface.

"It's pulling me down!" Cas yelled, and he had to, because the sound of rocks clattering was echoing so loudly in their ears that they could barely hear anything else.

A light began to glow beneath him, in the formerly dark hole, and Cas looked at it, then back into Deans eyes, absolute terror shining in his own. And Dean knew that the same petrified look on Cas' face was mirrored on his, because that light was him. Not the remains of Jimmy Novak that he lived in, but him, pure angel light. The light that shone when angels died. Whatever was down there was killing him.

"Dean! Dean!" Castiel screamed his name, but both their hands were sweaty, and the grip the mysterious monster had was far too strong.

"I'm gonna get you out, Cas! Benny, help me!" Dean screamed to Benny, still staring at his falling friend, but no one came to help him. He craned his neck slightly to see why, and found that the Leviathan had caught up, Benny being the only thing holding them off.

"Cas, hold on! I'm not gonna leave you!" Unexpected tears blurred his vision for a moment, but he blinked them away, squeezing Cas' fingers so tight he could feel his own breaking. The horror was still on his friend's face, with newfound despair in his eyes.

"I'm not leaving you here, Cas, I love you!" He pulled as hard as he could on his arms, his own aching, and prayed for a miracle. He didn't realize, but he got one, the unseen hope that entered Cas' tired eyes.

"I love you too. I'll keep fighting for you, Dean." He looked down at Dean's red and swelling fingers, and healed them, with a face that screamed heartbreak.

"No!" Dean shouted, already knowing what was going to happen, but it was too late, and Cas' hands slipped from his. The light grew stronger than ever, blinding him, and when he could see again, there was no crater, nor an angel.

He was lying on his stomach, trembling like the ground had just been doing, and he reached out, touching the spot where Castiel had just been. He found nothing but grass and dirt, a regular patch of nothing. The only indication that something had happened was the unusual silence of the forest.

He stood, still shaking, and turned around to see Leviathan, headless and temporarily lifeless on the ground. Benny stood, staring at him and breathing heavy, their black juices covering him and his weapon.

"What the hell just happened?" Was his only question to the vampire, and Benny gave him a look like pity before responding.

"The Leviathan got him."

"No, the Leviathan attacked us, just now." Dean pointed to the bodies on the ground. "They didn't have the juice to do that, so what did?"

"Dean." Benny lowered his knife and took a step forward. "There are things in this place that hunters have never named, never even seen. Did you know a lot of angels?"

Thoughts of Anna, Balthazar, and Uriel flashed behind his eyes, and he nodded stiffly.

"Did you wonder why we didn't see any of them? They're food. Whatever was hear didn't come for us, and doesn't care if we leave." Benny motioned to the door, and Dean shook his head.

"So a monster...ate him." A painful lump caught in his throat.

"Yes. Now let's get out of here before something does the same to us." Benny started walking to the door, determined, but Dean didn't move.

"Not without Cas." Dean stated, voice sounding strong, but inside, he was breaking.

"Are you blind, man? He died, you just saw it." Benny took a step back, closer to the door.

"I saw a hole. He might still be alive." Dean said, but his doubt was stronger than his belief.

"You saw the work of a beast, Dean! You saw an earthquake, you saw a light!" Benny yelled. "He's gone, and even if he's alive right now, he won't be by the time we find him. Which we have no way of doing."

"I said I wouldn't leave without him." Dean said, but they could both hear the fight leaving his voice.

"If you try to look for him, Dean, you're gonna get killed. I didn't know him long, but I can be certain that's not what he would've wanted." Benny's voice was soft, as though giving condolences, and really, that was what he was doing. "Let's go back to the real world. Back to your brother."

Dean sighed and took one last look at the ground, still lacking of evidence of any significant event.

"Fine. How do we do this?" He felt awful, knowing that Cas was probably dead, that he was leaving when there was a chance he was still alive.

"Just take my hand, open the door, and step through. And don't forget where I'm buried."

"I won't." Dean walked to the door, then extended his hand. Benny took it, and Dean wished for a moment that it belonged not to him, but an angel. But the hand was too large, and the angel was dead.

The small brass knob squeaked as he turned it, and opened the flimsy wood to see only darkness. With a nod of reassurance from Benny, he stepped through. He felt a hot pain in his hand, saw a light different from the one that came from Castiel moments earlier, and stepped onto dry sand. He knew he had made it.

They arrived to the small village the other troops were passing through when they saw the light. Armed and ready to defend themselves from men and monsters alike, they got out of the Jeep and set out on foot, walking on the dirt. The sun was beginning to set, causing lengthy shadows and an excess of golden light.

"We need to look around carefully, we don't want to give away our position." Sam instructed them quietly, inspecting their surroundings.

"And because we can't be certain that Cas was the thing that got out." Benny added, earning him a dirty look from Dean.

"There's an easier way to do this." Dean said pointedly. "I pray to the angel Castiel." He began as he had done many times before; alone in a tent, on a cot, while loading the tank or jeep. "Cas, it's me, Dean. I'm with Sam and Benny at the place we think you ended up when you got out of purgatory. If you hear me, please-"

"There you are." They turned around, a familiar voice reaching their ears. And there he was, dirty and bearded, with a torn up trench coat and his dingy hospital clothes. Their angel.

"Cas." Dean rushed to him instantly, hugging him tight enough to hurt him. He was pleasantly surprised when Cas hugged back, burying his head in his shoulder.

"I missed you." He whispered to Dean, and Dean nodded, tears filling his eyes.

"I missed you too."

"Not to interrupt this love-fest." Benny called out, and Dean felt his angel stiffen slightly. "But how exactly did you get out? And did you bring anything with you?"

"No." Cas answered firmly, pulling away from Dean. He next went to Sam, extending his arms for a hug, which Sam accepted, confused but smiling.

"Are you hurt? Do you need anything?" Dean questioned, grabbing him by the arms and looking him over. "Besides a shave, I mean."

"No, I'm fine. Do you need anything?" Cas looked over Dean as well, wondering how he could care for him.

"Answers." Benny called out pointedly, and Cas looked to Sam, who shrugged.

"That would be helpful, buddy."

"We didn't even think you were alive. We saw that...thing take you. It dragged you down and then it was like nothing even happened." Dean recalled, the memory still fresh in his mind.

"Not a thing. Things. My brothers."

"Angels?" Sam asked, incredulous.

"Taking their well-deserved vengeance." Cas nodded. "They remembered all of the terrible things I did to them, and they wanted revenge. They...tortured me."

He shifted uncomfortably, and anger rose in Dean, hating the thought of them hurting him.

"But how did you escape?" Sam questioned, a look of disbelief still on his face.

"A few of my brothers helped me, one even sacrificed himself for me." Cas said, looking at the ground and shaking his head. "Poor Gabriel. He sent his regards, by the way."

"And nothing big and bad came back with you?" Benny clarified, and became satisfied when Cas shook his head.

"Cas, this is great. We're all here, we're all together. You don't have to worry about angels or Leviathan anymore. All we need to do is hunt, have our usual adventures together, and be happy." Dean said, the smile on his face growing wider by the second.

"We can. Finally." Sam agreed, and Cas actually smiled.

"I am. With you guys, I'm happy." He still smiled, ignoring the filth covering him and his ruined jacket.

"I might vomit." Benny said flatly.

"Please don't." Sam looked slightly appalled. "Let's just get out of here."

They all went back to the Jeep, Cas and Dean holding hands. For the first time in ages, despite the sand, the fallen Gabriel, and the darkness closing in on them, the pair finally felt as though they were home.