This crack fic was inspired by my brother's absolutely sweet and wonderful girlfriend- for my birthday, she gave me two handmade, tiny, and insanely cute plot bunnies- one lime green, one purple. My brother has the red, orange, and yellow ones. He named them Lucretius, Tyrell, and Pikachu. Pikachu's from the Pokémon series, Tyrell's from the Golden Sun series, and I don't know what the hell a Lucretius is. Oh, yeah, and Neji was also a birthday present, from a friend at school- he's from Naruto. I named my plot bunnies Casey and Olivia- Casey's lime green, Olivia's purple. Olivia's ear keeps breaking off, but no matter how many times I accidentally drop Casey, she doesn't break, so my brother said that meant she was the rough one… yeah… Read and enjoy!
"What the hell?"
Those were the first words Olivia said in her new occupation as a plot bunny. She looked down at her now tiny, purple body in complete confusion, then looked around at the others beside her- a red bunny, an orange one, a yellow one, and a lime green one. They were all still asleep. After a moment of hesitation, Olivia hopped over to the lime green one and shook her awake. The bunny opened her eyes, but the moment she saw Olivia she let out a shrill scream. "AHH!" she yelled, scampering away from her. "IT'S A GIANT BUNNY!"
Olivia stared at the other animal- whose voice sounded surprisingly like Casey's- then hopped over to her and said, "Um, I'm not giant. We're the same size."
The green bunny blinked, then looked down at herself and screamed again. "OH MY GOD! I'M A BUNNY!"
Well, at least Olivia wasn't the only one who had no idea what the hell was going on. She nodded and said, "Yeah, I'm confused to. Well, I'm Olivia."
Her new acquaintance looked up at her in surprise, then asked, "Olivia? Olivia BENSON?" When she nodded, the green bunny exclaimed, "Okay, I've got to be dreaming. That's the only explanation- that's the only way me and my girlfriend could spontaneously become bunnies!"
"Wha- girlfriend?" Olivia asked in shock. "Wait... CASEY?"
Casey nodded, which looked really weird, considering she was in bunny form, then said, "Well, at least I'm lime green, and you're purple. We could be stuck as some boring colors, like brown or white or something."
"You're taking this really well," Olivia observed as they made their way back to the other bunnies.
"Oh, I know. That's because I'm convinced I'm either drunk, in a coma, or dreaming. So, sooner or later, I'll come to my senses and I'll kiss you to get rid of all the traces of this bizarre dream. Now, lets wake up these other three bunnies and see what the hell my crazed mind thinks is going on here."
Several minutes later, they had succeeded in arousing their three soon-to-be friends. The yellow one- who was exceedingly cute- was scampering around and yelling, "Pika! Pika! Pika!" over and over, the orange one was furiously trying to catch the yellow one, and the red one was just staring at the orange and yellow ones in confusion.
He glanced over at Olivia and Casey and said, "Hi. I'm Lucretius."
They nodded before the detective said, "I'm Olivia, and this is my friend Casey. Do you know who, um... THEY are?" she asked, nodding at the orange and yellow one.
Lucretius shook his head. "Um, no." Without warning, he pounced on the orange one, stopping him from chasing the yellow one. Olivia and Casey followed his lead by trying to catch the yellow one, but the moment they had touched it, they both shouted and released it.
"Ow!" Olivia shouted, waving a smoking paw in the air. "It shocked us!"
The yellow one continued running around in circles for another few seconds, then skidded to a stop in front of Casey and jumped into her arms. Casey, who was not yet used to her new bunny body yet, immediately dropped her. Instead of shocking her again, the yellow one just curled up at her feet and purred, "Pikachu, Pikachu, Pikachu." A few sparks of electricity ran along the yellow one's fur, and Casey frowned, leaning down to examine it.
"Um... did it just say Pikachu?" Olivia asked, squinting at the animal at Casey's feet.
"Yeah, it did... do you think it's... Pikachu? From the Pokémon series?"
Olivia shrugged. "Well, I don't see any other explanation. Casey, you've got really weird dreams."
Lucretius dragged the orange one over to them, who was still struggling to get away. He finally let it go so the three of them could surround it, and Pikachu growled and stood in front of Casey protectively. "Who ARE you?" Lucretius demanded, glaring at it.
"I'm Tyrell!" the orange one exclaimed, staring at them all furiously. "And you all better back off, or I'll light you all on fire!"
Casey and Olivia looked at each other in confusion before the former said, "Um... Tyrell? You're a bunny. How exactly do you propose to light anybody or anything on fire?"
Tyrell glared at them and was about to reply when a huge shadow loomed over them. He gave a very girly scream and ran to the edge of the desk, cowering in fear. Casey, Olivia, and Pikachu took one look at the figure before running away to, leaving just Lucretius. He looked up at the figure quizzically, then said, "I presume you're Neji?"
The huge creature- who looked somewhat like a very adorable ninja- nodded and said, "Yep, that's me. How'd you know?"
Lucretius shrugged and said, "My brother, Munch, is a conspiracy theorist. He always thought the government had a 'plot bunnies' operation, and a ninja-like doll named Neji watched over the people turned into plot bunnies."
Casey and Olivia both stared at each other in confusion, then the only thing he had said that had made sense clicked into place, and they both jumped forward, Olivia shouting, "You're Munch's brother? And... plot bunnies operation? What?"
The huge doll sighed before explaining, "The Bush Administration started it all. Bush and his lackies needed creative people to come up with their lucrative lies to convince people to go into Iraq, but, unfortunately, none of them were creative. So they came up with this idea- get creative people and turn them into plot bunnies. Then, the Bush Administration would come over and pet them, and because they were so cute, they would get creative ideas. After a year, the plot bunnies would turn into humans again and would be allowed to return to their normal lives."
Casey and Olivia just stared at Neji for a second, eyes wide with shock, before Casey just shook her head and started walking away. "Okay, that's it. I either had WAY too much to drink this evening or I'm in a coma. Only possible explanations. I couldn't have dreams this crazy."
Tyrell ran up to Neji and started trying to hit him, rambling on some nonsense about how he had to stop some weird eclipse. The others just ignored them and walked away, Pikachu still clinging to Casey's side. Casey smiled and ruffled the Pokémon's fur. "Wow. Pikachu really is cute. I wonder why I'm dreaming about her, though- I never even played Pokémon."
Olivia shrugged. "Yeah, I-" she was interrupted by Neji swearing and throwing Tyrell off him.
"God!" he shouted, stomping over to Tyrell and trapping him what looked like half of a broken easter egg. "You are SO annoying! I don't know how anybody could ever put with you!"
Lucretius just sighed and walked away, calling over his shoulder, "Well, I'm going to go find a phone so I can call my brother. He's going go crazy when he finds about this."
"And then there were three," Olivia said, smiling at Casey. "So, what do you want to do now?"
Casey shrugged. "Well, I... oh, Olivia- you know how the guys how always said stuff like, 'Casey and Olivia'll be at it like bunnies tonight?'"
Olivia nodded slowly, confused. "Yeah, and...?"
"Well- think about it, Olivia! We can't turn down this chance to make their dreams come true! Besides, it could be fun!"
Olivia stared at her girlfriend for a second, then gasped, "WHAT? Casey, you- you want us to have sex- as BUNNIES?" When Casey just nodded eagerly, Olivia continued to stare at her, then asked, "Well... isn't that kind of... disgusting?"
Casey laughed and shook her head. "Well, I don't see how. We're going to be stuck as plot bunnies for a whole year, and, well, we have to do something to pass the time. Besides, it'll make for some great stories later."
Olivia hesitated, then sighed. "Sure. I'll do anything once- but we do have a problem..." Olivia looked around the desk and exclaimed, "Where are we going to hide? I'm not having sex in front of Neji, Lucretius, and Tyrell!"
Casey frowned, petting Pikachu's fur again. "What about Pikachu?" she asked as the Pokémon nuzzled her head into Casey's foot. "Do you want to have sex in front of her?"
"Well... she seems rather attached to you, Case," Olivia said in amusement. "And she IS very cute, so I'm worried if we leave her somewhere else that weird guy Tyrell will steal her."
"Why don't you just put her in one of the easter eggs?" Neji cut in, looking down at the plot bunnies as he held a squirming Tyrell in his hands.
"Easter eggs?" Casey and Olivia asked simultaneously, staring at Neji in surprise.
He nodded. "Yep, easter eggs. Look over there." He pointed at a collection of easter eggs, all broken in half so they formed little colored mounds. "There are enough for all of you."
Casey surveyed them uncertainly, then squealed excitably, "Look, Liv! Look! There's a lime green one- and THERE'S a PURPLE one!" Casey immediately scampered off towards them, Pikachu right on her tail.
Olivia looked around curiously- Lucretius was currently dragging a cell phone back over to the easter eggs and Tyrell was still fighting with Neji. No one would notice if she disappeared for a little while. With a small grin, Olivia headed off after Casey, ducking into the lime green easter egg. "I'm liking the idea of us having sex more and more, Casey. But first, time to put Pikachu in our vacation egg."
Casey stared at Olivia in confusion, laughing when she saw the detective leading Pikachu to the purple egg. "Good idea, Liv. Don't want that stupid Tyrell stealing the purple egg- and I don't think he'll be interested in the lime green one, not after what we're about to do in it."
-Several hours later-
"I'm sorry!" Casey said for the hundredth time, watching as Olivia hopped up and down in pain, clutching her broken ear piece in one hand. "I didn't realize bunnies were so breakable!"
"How come you didn't break anything?" Olivia shouted, still clutching her ear.
Casey shrugged, trying to find some way to help her girlfriend. "I, uh… look, since I was the rough one tonight, I'll be the one to try and fix everything. Let me go get Neji, I'm sure he can… fix it, somehow. Or-"
The ADA was interrupted when Pikachu scurried inside their easter egg and sent a small spark of electricity at Olivia. "Pikachu, no!" Casey was about to scold, horrified, stopping when Olivia gave a squeal of excitement.
"Casey! Casey, look! Pikachu fixed my ear!" she exclaimed, still hopping up and down.
"Wha…" Casey looked between Pikachu and Olivia for several seconds before giving up trying to make sense of it. "Okay, let's try that again, and I'll try not to be so rough. And if I am, Pikachu can come save the day."
After Pikachu had left again, Olivia looked at Casey's new lime green bunny form, then just laughed. "Case, if we're not dreaming, the guys back home are never going to believe this. We have to think of something else to tell them."
"Well," Casey said as she walked forward slowly, "why don't we just tell them we were at it like bunnies? It's the truth, after all!"
Olivia hesitated, then nodded. "I like the sound of that."
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