Maelstrom Chapter 27
Drunk Part A

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original Maelstrom Comics and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes! Rated B for BAD HUMOR and F for FLUFF! If you are following Maelstrom for it's gory nasty bits you can skip this one completely and avoid inebriated Transformers getting into all kinds of trouble you've seen done before, and better, in other fan-ficts. This will do no harm to your ability to follow the soon to come, apocalyptic type stuff which is to follow, and probably will save a few of your brain cells.

Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!

Maelstrom Chapter 27
Drunk Part A

Optimus kicked his desk.

The dent it left was not satisfying so he kicked it again.

Better, but now his foot had a dent of similar proportions.

He sighed and tried to get ready for the party, which in his case basically meant getting his emotions in order. He had been to see Kup and was somehow not in the mood for celebrating. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had failed the old warrior somehow, and Rodimus too. Just a few moments talking to Kup had convinced Optimus the friendship between Kup and Rodimus was entirely ruptured - probably forever. Something in Kup was ruptured too. Lancer had weakened the veteran's spirit in a way millions of years of war had not. She had shattered his confidence. Still, it was Rodimus who had struck the death blow to Kup's self-esteem.

Optimus shook his head and sighed again. He understood Rodi's justifiable anger, but Optimus knew he could never have brought himself to be so unrelenting, no matter the provocation. Then again, there was something hard at Rodimus' core Optimus didn't really want to understand.

Elita came up quietly behind him, although today she was courteous enough to make noises to warn him of her approach. Her arms slipped around him and he felt her cheek against his back.

"Orion we have to go."

"I know." Neither of them moved.

"Don't worry so much. They may glare at each other a while, but the air's been cleared at last. Maybe they'll patch it up," Elita said.

"You don't know Rodimus as well as I do. He holds on to things with unprecedented stubbornness...and Kup pushed him WAY too far," Optimus said with resignation. If only Edana hadn't been involved.....

It was Elita's turn to sigh. "Let's go," she finally said.

The party was being held in one of Cybertron's banquet halls used for entertaining foreign dignitaries - which meant it was huge, elegant, and pretentious. Jazz had cordoned off over half the room to create a more intimate setting for a gathering of friends. It was the only decision the Specialist had made that Optimus agreed with. The open half was decorated (or perhaps defaced) with such an array of colors that all illusions of pretension were shattered. Optimus wondered if his optics wouldn't shatter also. There were streamers, banners, balloons (BALLOONS?!) strung all over the towering walls. It took hundreds of them to not appear dwarfed on the massive walls (high even for Autobot standards), and Optimus seriously questioned his decision to give Jazz free rein on the expense account. Such a vast quantity of embellishments would have been costly on Earth. Add that to the cost of importing them....... And then the table caught his eye.

Optimus felt a brief moment of lightheadedness. He sized up the arriving humans and Pagan ( None of the others would be attending. Claudia was still recuperating from her run-in with Kup, and Jordan refused to leave her. Kain had ignored the invitation.) The array of mysterious food-stuffs was longer than Prime's trailer, and he seriously doubted they could consume more food than their combined body-mass no matter how hungry they were.

The final straw came in the form of a forty foot, hand-painted banner reading "Congrats to The M & M's on their Engagement". The phrasing was bad enough, but the banner also sported a picture of a red M&M with long, wavy hair, and a red, white, and blue M&M. They were connected at the ankles by a heavy chain. Optimus was very dubious about this. Jazz had obviously painted it himself and the artistry was marginal at best. Optimus thought it was, perhaps, in marginal good taste as well, and more than a little worried it would spark another feud between two of his people. The humans apparently thought it was hysterical however since most of them laughed as soon as they spied it coming in. The laughter of the newcomers also usually set off those who had been there a while all over again. This meant there was a rash of room-wide hysteria every time a new group of humans arrived.

Optimus didn't understand them, which was why, he supposed, he had been foolish enough to let Jazz handle this. He took another look at the banner and caught himself smiling. The red, white and blue M&M was wearing a stoic, but rather befuddled look that somehow managed to make it seem rather petrified. It was a little funny.

When Ultra Magnus stepped into the room with Marissa wearing the identical expression, Optimus suddenly and unexpectedly found himself in hysterics with the rest of them. Some of his pessimism faded.

Watching Magnus irritably deflecting sarcastic barbs from Rodimus and Jazz and then make a bee-line for the food didn't hurt either. It reminded Optimus that some people DID recover from deep wounds. Lancer too struck him with how uninhibited and happy she seemed. Although he couldn't have said exactly what was different, Optimus noted she was more open, especially with Rodimus. Even the way they held hands seemed more intimate, as if the flesh became fused where it met.

Blaster arrived with the "tunes" as he called them, and Optimus began hoping for another diplomatic crisis to retreat to.

It was an interesting night all in all for Optimus. He witnessed Lancer frisking down Talon and removing a large container from under his shirt. She took a long sniff of the contents, pronounced it whiskey and gave Talon a solid smack on the back of the head.

"I told you NO booze! We have no idea how it will affect the Autobots who spend time as humans!" she said testily.

"Aw, come on girl! We need to spice this party up! It's dull!" Talon said, reaching for his bottle.

"DULL?!" Jazz cried, offended.

"Any party with no booze is automatically dull," Talon said, as though it were obvious.

"Oh, you want excitement eh? Well fine! I'll give you some!" Lancer said with a horrible grin.

"No Girl! Don't do it!"

"FIRE ONE!" Lancer cried, tossing the bottle , cap off, high into the air (very carefully away from everyone else.)

Talon watched the shimmering, clear arc of liquid spill out from the mouth of the metal container in slow motion. It was beautiful, and sparkling - right up until the point where Lancer's lance intercepted it and combusted it in a brilliant flash. The was a loud *pop* as the flames hit the free falling canister. By the time it hit the ground, every drop of his precious whiskey was vaporized and his flask was warped and blackened by the heat. Talon stared at it as if at the corpse of an old friend.

"Oh, you didn't tell me there were going to be fireworks, Jazz!" Marissa said, laughing.

"MY BOOZE!" Talon mourned.

"Yes your booze," Lancer said. "Now, as I am not entirely stupid, hand over the other one and nobody gets hurt!" Rodimus laughed.

"No way girl! Not if you're gonna toast it again!" Talon said.

"OK. I won't toast it!. Hand it over and let me see what you brought, and then I'll even give it back to you if you promise not to spike the punch with it. ALL OF IT, or the deal is off."

Talon sighed. "Girl you have lost all of your sense of adventure. Must be this settled domesticated life you've bought into." He appeared to think about it for a minute and then handed her two smaller flasks. Optimus didn't even want to think about where the man had hidden them. Lancer didn't appear satisfied, and Talon glared at her.

"That's it!" he asserted.

"Uh-huh. Like you didn't EXPECT me to search you!"

Talon glared.

Lancer waited.

Finally, reluctantly, he handed her another small, small flask.

Lancer smirked at him and sniffed it. She flinched. "Ooo this is the good stuff!"

"Yeah, now give it back."

"Do you promise not to try anything with it!"

"Yeah! Hand it over! Quit snickering Red! I know when I'm beat!" Talon grumbled.

"I believe your promise!" Lancer said, "Do you know why?"

"Because you trust me with your life?" Talon said.

"No, try again," Lancer said.

"Because I'm so adorable?" Talon tried, making puppy-eyes at her.

"Nope," Lancer said.

"I don't know then," Talon claimed.

"I trust you, because Mayhem is going to seal these bottles closed!" Lancer said with a smug smile, handing them all to KC. KC didn't even appear to concentrate. She just took the flasks with a sweet smile, and handed them to Talon almost at once. He inspected his bottles and realized to his horror that the the caps were no longer separate pieces from the rest of the them.

"I reinforced the sides too," KC said, still sweetly smiling, "So don't even try to punch through them. You'll only hurt yourself."

By this point Rodimus was far from the only one laughing. Talon pouted, and went to drown his sorrows at the buffet table. He pointedly avoided the punch bowl. The crowd, which now included Marissa's dazed parents, Blurr, Springer and Arcee, Robert, Perceptor, and First Aid, laughed, and teased him. Malice and Shellshock drifted unobtrusively in while this went on, but Optimus noticed, and tried not to embarrass them by staring. It was hard.

He noted that the humans had apparently had enough of letting Magnus and Talon have the food to themselves, and the rest of them formed a line along the table, grabbing this and that at random. Optimus wondered what it would be like to have so many choices in sustenance, and had a mental debate over whether to be grateful or jealous he didn't have to waste that much time deciding. Elita brought him an energon cube, and he was glad to at least have something to look at besides Shellshock, who always seemed to be where Op's optics ended up. Coincidence naturally. He consumed his cube a little more rapidly than usual and Elita put a restraining hand on his arm.

"They're stronger than usual, be careful...unless you want to over-energize tonight," she cautioned.

"Err...no. I just wasn't paying attention." Optimus said, a little embarrassed. Was it the fact he had gotten careless or the fact Elita didn't seem like she would be too surprised if he did have plans to over-energize?

"Ah. So in other words you were worrying," Elita said. "I thought we talked about enjoying ourselves tonight and saving fretting for tomorrow. It is a party after all."

The party began winding down shortly BEFORE midnight. Marissa's parents were already tired from the trip to Cybertron, and wanted to go to their rooms to sleep. Carly and Spike were also tired and both had full schedules for the next day, and while Daniel didn't want to leave his mother firmly reminded him of his courses early the next morning. Even Marissa gave him a slightly evil eye about it. Daniel was usually pretty conscientious about his standing as an EDC cadet, but he didn't take it as seriously as she had. To the Autobots, with the possible exception of Jazz, parties happened when they happened. The time of day meant next to nothing, start or finish. Lancer was thinking about the baby, who was smiling, but yawning, and when Edana got tired she let the world know..

Talon was completely incensed.

"WHAT D'YA MEAN YOU'RE GOIN' HOME?" he cried when Lancer and Rodi tried to call it a night.

"We're going home. We've got a baby to look after if you remember." Lancer said, holding her daughter up as if to demonstrate. Rodi just grinned with obnoxious pride.

"Hmmph," Talon grunted. "You've really gotten yourself tamed down good, girl." Talon said. "It just ain't right goin' home before say, 6 am."

Lancer stuck her tongue out at him.

"What 'bout you?" Talon said to Rodimus. "You ready to call it a night? This's SUPPOSED to be a gettin' hitched party and there weren't even booze."

"Well..." Rodimus said, "I'm not tired, but then I wasn't planning on sleeping when I got home anyway." He winked at Talon and smirked at Lancer. She hit him.

"You'll be riding the couch if you don't watch your mouth, Mister," she told him. He pretended to pout, but knew she wouldn't follow through. Talon didn't know that however. He just thought it was a sad case of female domination, and when Magnus and Marissa also announced they were calling it a night he hit the ceiling.

"THE HENS'VE CRUSHED THE ROOSTERS!" he cried. "I'M ANNOUNCING A JAIL BREAK! YOU BOYS NEED A REAL MAN TO SHOW YOU HOW THE NIGHT IS DONE!"

"A REAL man?" Magnus asked, his voice dangerously quiet.

"THAT'S RIGHT!" Talon pronounced. "It's boys night out! It's a cryin' shame. None of you boys had a taste of what's it like to be a bachelor. Y'all immediately fell into the clutches of some female. Ya need a taste of freedom before ya get your feathers clipped for all time."

Jazz cocked his head with curiosity. Magnus looked skeptical. Rodimus laughed.

"You'd better watch it Talon. Keep talking like that and you might find more than your feathers clipped. I hear that the hens around here are particularly vicious," Rodi said. Lancer hit him again. "See what I mean?"

"Red, you are already a lost cause. Ya got a female on the brain. Hopeless. Ya obviously don't know how t' have fun at all. But Stick here," Talon said, hitting Magnus on the arm, (Magnus' eyes widened) still has a chance before Legs chains 'im down."

"Stick?!" Marissa cried.

"Legs....." Magnus rumbled.

Talon entirely ignored them, and continued addressing Rodimus. "This ole boy needs a night on the town to loosen 'im up. Why don't you just go on home and play house with Lancer since ya obviously got no spunk fer a REAL party!"

Jazz laughed. "Ooo, that's hitting below the belt! And I've been human long enough to know what that means now!"

Rodimus raised an eyebrow. He felt Lancer's fervent warnings, but some challenges can't be ignored. The day Hot Rod couldn't party.... "What do you have in mind?" he asked.

Lancer rolled her eyes and threw up her hands. Marissa looked at her mate and felt similar resignation. Magnus was irritated, but he was also curious. KC didn't even concern herself with wondering whether or not Jazz would go. It was a foregone conclusion that he would participate in anything he hadn't already tried. Good. That meant she didn't have to think of an excuse to get him to go home.

"Oh you'll see!" Talon said, sounding like an old-time movie villain and rubbing his hands together. "And so will you," Talon said to Shellshock as he and Malice walked past.

Shellshock froze in his tracks. He stared at Talon. Pure disbelief he was even being considered for this venture let an actual sentence escape before he could stop it.

"And I will what?" he asked.

"And you will see what I have in mind! Come on! You need to get off that stuffy ship!" Talon said, as if there was no possible way he could be denied.

Shellshock's mind locked up. It was an absurd notion that he would or even could do this. He wanted to get out of here. Mostly, he wanted away from the Autobots, whose optics followed him even if they had learned not to address him. He had done his duty and come to this stressful get-together in honor of Magnus' engagement, but when he opened his mouth to say "no" he felt just one more set of eyes on him.

Rodimus was looking at him. Rodimus was wondering what he would say. Shellshock didn't sense any pressure one way or another from the young Prime, but just the fact that Rodimus was wondering made it hard for Shellshock to decline. He knew Rodimus was worried about him, even though Rodi was far and away the least intrusive about it. Maybe that was the problem. The others might wonder what Shellshock had been through, but Rodi knew. More than anyone. More than even Malice. Rodi knew... and Shellshock knew Rodimus didn't ask because he didn't need to. The young Prime just wondered if Shellshock could stand to be near him. The answer was very nearly no, but even now some part of Shellshock couldn't let Rodimus know that.

"Alright," he said reluctantly, seeing Malice nearly faint from shock. Clutching to Lancer's mind for support, Rodi's eyes widened slightly. He was glad she was there to help him keep it to that. Jazz and Magnus exchanged glances, while Malice stared at Shellshock as if he'd grown a third eye. She didn't say anything about it though - she just hoped this trip wouldn't turn out to be a major set-back for Shellshock.

Lancer took Talon aside for a moment, and spent a while with him in a corner. Looking on next to Marissa and Rodimus by the table, Magnus noticed some rather violent gestures on Lancer's part. "What is she saying to him?" Magnus asked Lancer's mate.

"She's telling him nicely to keep us out of trouble, and not so nicely to keep us far, far from anything alcoholic since we don't know how we'll handle it," Rodimus said, with a faint smile. He thought Lancer was amusing, but he was still off-balance by Shellshock's agreement to go along. He didn't know what to make of that at all.

"Ah," Magnus said, taking note that Lancer was showing Talon some talons - a few at eye level, and a few more at, well, at crotch level. Magnus winced a little, knowing he would be facing those nails in a few days.

"Looks like you guys SHOULD be pretty safe," Marissa said doubtfully. Magnus could tell she was also a little amused by Lancer, but still a bit dubious about this little excursion.

"Ok boys! Let's go have some fun!" Talon said, coming towards them with Lancer glowering from behind.

Rodi. You MAKE SURE he doesn't try anything, Lancer sent. She didn't trust Talon where this was concerned, not really. She only hoped the memories her mate had from her were enough to arm him against Talon's tricks. Aloud she said, "I'm only agreeing to this because Robert is going along!"

Oh, he'll try something. I just have to be sure he doesn't succeed. Rodi sent, amused by his mate's fears. He could handle Talon, or at least that's what he thought.

"What, you think I can stop him?" Robert asked incredulously.

"Yes, but that isn't the point. You don't have to handle him...you just have to TELL on him."

"Oh," said Robert, "OK."

As it turned out, Rodi could handle Talon just fine. It was Shellshock he couldn't handle. As for Robert, well, he was just out of his league.

X

X

X

Things started off very quietly - and very tensely. Rodimus provided the transportation to the human sectors and had himself in a fine stew long before they got there. He fretted over what he saw as "rubbing in" his ability to return to robot form in front of Shellshock. It brought a sharp focus on how much better off he was than his nearly silent friend. Rodimus thought about his time with the Jabez with no fondness - but he had a mate and a baby to show for it at least. Shellshock had nothing of the sort, and was not even healed enough to pretend to behave normally. Visions of their mutual torture came back to haunt the young Prime - not as flashbacks for once, but as conscious memory. The pain he remembered only served as a measuring stick for the greater suffering of his friend. When they finally got to the bars behind the spaceports, Rodimus let them all out, slipped into the shadows, and went human, overwhelmed by guilt.

Jazz and Magnus got one look at the mask Rodi had made of his face and sighed in unison. They exchanged a long, long-suffering glance. Magnus put a hand on Rodi's shoulder, and knew it was bad when Rodi actually yelped. Shellshock pretended not to notice, although Robert did give Rodi a surprised, questioning look. Talon, drinking in the sights and smells of "civilization" as he dubbed it, was oblivious.

Magnus took a long whiff of the air and wanted to gag. The alley smelled like urine and stale vomit, leading Magnus to conclude that Talon must be quite, quite insane for thinking it smelled good. Magnus was sorry he'd let a few dubious remarks concerning his manhood drag him into this. Made no sense at all when you weren't even technically a "man" to begin with. The City Commander was also a bit worried because he was used to relying on Rodimus when in strange, human situations, and he sensed the young Prime was ready to panic. Certainly, Rodi's mind was not on the situation at hand.

Shellshock followed Talon without a word towards the lights of the nearest, reeking bar. Robert sighed and did the same. Jazz fairly bounced his way in - he could hear the music and little things like an upset commander weren't going to make much of an impression. The Specialist had been in plenty of night-clubs since becoming human, but each one was different, and he sensed this one was more different than most. Magnus just wondered why the word "Girls" was plastered all over everything.

They entered the dim construction, and Magnus found himself holding his breath again. He was pleased to note that Rodi and Robert were doing the same so at least he wasn't alone. There was so much smoke it was obvious that whoever patronized this place needed something other than oxygen to breathe. There was a dance floor, a bar that circled the room on three sides, and a raised platform that extended out from the back to the center of the room. Except for the dance area, the rest of the available space was filled with little tables of dubious cleanliness and chairs of dubious sturdiness. Filling many of those chairs were mostly human men, a few off-worlders from neighboring systems, and even some travelers from deeper space. The only common theme was that they all inspected the new-comers suspiciously, and they all looked mean.

Magnus wasn't at all concerned about the attitudes of the bar's friendly customers. The chairs did have him a bit concerned however. Magnus looked at the assembly of bodies they had brought with them - none of them were exactly small for human males. Even Robert probably weighed a good bit, though his body spoke more of days and nights at a computer console than of fighting strength.

Talon was busy rearranging tables as if he owned the place. He put three together to get enough chairs to accommodate them all, took a long look at Magnus and Shellshock and added a fourth....they'd need the extra room. The tables were really meant for one, or two at best. As he pulled chairs up to his little arrangement, Magnus went along behind him pulling them out, testing their sturdiness, and rejecting most of them.

Rodimus confirmed both of Magnus' worries by sitting in one of the chairs Magnus hadn't checked yet. First, it was obvious Rodi was in bad shape because he was too out of it to check the chair himself, and it proved itself less than sturdy when it collapsed under him immediately. The young Prime yelped (again!) in surprise and snapped out of it, inspecting his surroundings and the remains of his chair. The look of stunned amazement on his face did nothing to make him appear intelligent.

Looking up into Magnus' glowering face, Rodi gave an embarrassed smile and shrugged.

"Are you back with us?" Magnus wanted to know.

Rodi's smile faded, but he nodded.

"Good, because Jazz is off in his own little world, and I don't trust this lunatic," Magnus said.

"I am NOT a lunatic!" Talon insisted, "And I can't think of anyone who needs a night out more than you do Stick! Right Red?"

"I am NOT getting into this one Talon!" Rodimus said, picking himself up off the floor. He contemplated dusting off his clothes, but wasn't sure he wanted to touch what was coating them. Rodimus looked around and found his Specialist already captivated by the flashing lights and the music. Apparently Jazz found strobes hypnotic. Rodi sighed, and tried not to notice Shellshock's furtive glance. They were both trying to pretend nothing was wrong, and they were both failing miserably. He wished he could just find the heart to come right out and say something openly, but he couldn't. Even MAGNUS was on to them for pity's sake. Rodimus sighed, and choose a chair more carefully this time. He also had to pretend not to notice some of the other patrons pretending not to notice them. What a cheery place Talon had chosen.

The music picked up a notch, and the house lights got even dimmer (if that was possible). The lights along the edge of the run-way lit up, and Magnus suddenly understood the signs outside.

"A STRIP-BAR! Geez Talon! Do you have a death wish?!" Rodimus exclaimed.

"Now Red. You can look, as long as you don't touch! Right?!" Talon said innocently. He batted his eyes at them.

Rodi smacked his forehead and groaned. Somehow, Lancer would find a way to blame HIM for this too!

"Rodimus, is it usual for human women to dance without clothes in public?" Magnus asked. He was worried Marissa might do this if he ever went dancing with her away from Central. He'd been a bit embarrassed when Lancer had commandeered him for "lessons" at the party, but dancing with Marissa had been fun once they had both gotten the hang of it. At least he hadn't stepped on her toes like he had on Lancer's. She'd thrown her hands up in disgust and gone off to dance next to her mate. Rodi hadn't danced with her though - he danced with Edana. However, if Marissa had any intention of going dancing anywhere sans-uniform, Magnus didn't think he could handle it.

"NO! Of course it isn't!" Rodimus said, aghast at the suggestion. "These girls are employed by this bar for..... entertainment." Robert snickered.

"Perhaps they need to earn their uniforms?" Magnus suggested. It made sense to him...at least until the girl shed the few thin strips of material she had on.

Robert lost it completely, and Talon shook his head.

"You are a sad, sad case," Talon said regretfully. Shellshock sat down a few seats from Rodimus - not right next to him, but also not across the table where they would have to look at each other. Magnus sat down between them, for which Rodi threw him a grateful smile. Jazz seemed completely zoned - off on some other dimension where the music had carried him. He was alone on the dance floor having a good time by himself.

"I don't understand this," Magnus said. The stripper was now nude, and doing odd things to the poles on the stage.

"Well," Rodimus said, "Look at the other men here. They find this a turn on."

Magnus did look, and noted the other tight knots of men were watching the stage like a pack of predatory animals. He had been human long enough to recognize the signs of lust - he just didn't recognize the inspiration, not really.

"Do they know that woman?" Magnus asked.

"I doubt it," Rodi told him.

"Then why do they find her so attractive?" Magnus asked. "They don't even know what she's like."

Robert's head hit the table, and Rodi couldn't help but smile. Magnus was cute when he was naive.

"They don't care what she's like. They just want to look at her body," Rodi explained.

"Oh," Magnus said. He looked at the dancer. She was slim and agile, and doing some things he didn't know were possible with her form. He had to admit to a certain admiration for her coordination and muscle tone, but he still didn't really see the point. "I still don't really understand. How can you be attracted to someone you don't know?"

"Well," Rodimus said, "I really don't understand that either, but you forget most human males don't have the control we do. To them, its more a matter of instinct, and it doesn't take much more than a nice figure to get them going."

"Oh." Magnus said again. "That's rather primitive isn't it?"

"I'd say that sums it up," Rodimus said with a laugh. Robert was having convulsions at the far end of the table. "Breath Robert!" Rodi snickered.

"Hmmph," Magnus said, not seeing the humor.

"OK, look," Rodimus suggested, "How would you feel if MARISSA put on a show like that for you?"

"Oh," Magnus said, rather stunned by that image. "That might work," he mused, staring at the stripper and chewing his lip.

"MIGHT?! What are you made of? Concrete?" Talon cried, and looked at them as if they were completely insane. "Ya'll are hopeless! It may be too late for even MY expertise to make a difference! I gotta try though! There outta be a law! OK! The first round is on me!"

"Talon..." Rodimus said warningly. "I know what alcohol tastes like, so don't try anything!"

"One beer isn't gonna hurt y'all," Talon said with a worse drawl than usual. "Come on tough guy. Maybe it will help Stick there understand th' wonders of nature!"

Magnus glared at him. Talon was stupidly unfazed.

"Go get Mr. Disco over there. I'll be right back," Talon said.

Continued in Part B