Broken Flower's Lullaby
Summery: Ino's view on herself. Warning self-hate, body-hate!!! This story dose have Anorexia references in it. She puts on a front…everyday. Nobody knows she's dieing both on the inside and outside. You've been warned. So please DON'T flame. I don't flame you for crying out loud!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
Ino Yamanaka always came off as a strong person. Not in just body but in confidence, pride, mind and soul. A stubborn, yet sweet personality. Many times she tried to show that she could easily beat you when it came to looks…truth be told…she was convincing herself. She had a persona to be confidant, but that all came crushing down when Sasuke Uchiha turned her down. She began to think 'Was it something I did? What can I do to fix and change this problem? Was it my looks…' Most likely was.
Her best friend, Sakura, told her that Sasuke liked girls who were skinny and had long hair. Oh yes…she would reach his expectations. She needed Sasuke…he was so perfect, everything she was not. Deciding to diet first. It worked for a while but when she started to grow she gained all her weight back on. She was doing so well to. So she began to practice more on her Tai-jutsu, to burn all the calories her dieting didn't get. That worked but she ended up gaining weight on! Muscle surprisingly weighed more than fat.
Before she was given a cell to be with she started cutting back what she ate. Limiting herself to small child size proportions. And if she ate anything over that she trained until she dropped. When in a cell, her newly acquired teammates began to worry about her ever decreasing appetite. Simply telling them she just simply wasn't hungry although that was a lie. The more she looked in the mirror the less she saw a beautiful person. The villagers were lieing when the said she was the definition of beauty. If anything she was the definition of worthlessness, obesity, and failure.
When devastating news came, that Sasuke left Konoha for power. She was horrified. Would he come back? Putting her fears aside she realized she had to comfort Sakura. All her heart and soul went into comforting her best friend, she hated to see Sakura so down. She went a few days completely without food. She blanched anytime she saw food. She found out something weird…she had slowly began to enjoy the feeling of hunger. And she wouldn't have it any other way. A plus side came with this feeling by not letting any food into her body…she didn't have to worry about that be-damned menstrual period's anymore.
She was so afraid, so frightened that she would gain weight and be obese. And each time Ino looked into her mirror she saw exactly that. Someone so horridly disgusting. She could never be as beautiful as the other girls…beautiful like Sakura. Sakura was the only one who Sasuke showed any interest in. And she noticed that you could slightly see Sakura's hip bone. You couldn't even see hers under the layers of fat she had on her body. She wanted…needed to be perfect…beautiful…worth somebody's time.
She wanted to hear people say "Your to thin" or "You look great!" for she felt revolting and in her eyes, looked it. The moment Shikamaru made her eat something she'd excuse politely excuse herself to go purge. Waking up every morning and fearing to get on the scale…however she needed to see. She needed to see just how hideous she was. To her bone's were beautiful, they were a sign of perfection in her eyes.
Shikamaru had asked Tsunade to look over her. When weighed Tsunade paled. Ino was 5'4 15 year old… and she weighed the same as she did when she was 12. She had what was known as Anorexia nervosa. The Hokage wanted her to get help immediately, by sending her into rehab but Ino of course refused. She didn't want to quit…this was who she was this is how she lived. She didn't care if she was dieing, everyone was dieing really…all apart of what life really is. To Ino, Anorexia will be a bitter-sweet enemy yet a loving friend, one that'll be with her until her very end.
A/N: What did you think? Let me know. Once again NO FLAMES. Yes I know it was a bit rushed…but I was getting rushed to get off the computer. Lemme know what you think please.
