A/N: FIFTY POINTS!

Mentions of Drarry. Fluffy and humorous.

Summary: Snape survives and is now hiding in the wizard world under the guise of a school teacher at a muggle school. AU. Fem Harry by the way.

This was actually a drabble FanofBellaandEdward and I thought of and it was supposed to be an actual story that we never got around to. If it doesn't make much sense then I will post another chapter to explain it better.

Genre: Romance/Humor


He was going to kill them if he ever saw them again. He was honestly going to kill Potter and Malfoy for landing him in this situation, though he was more so mad at Potter for it was her idea. After discovering that Snape was still alive (in a story for a later time and later date), but was now on the run from the Ministry, Harriet Potter had come up with the grand plan, and after contacting her cousin Dudley, had the old potion's master now living in the muggle world.

"I was once a great potions master." Snape muttered lowly as he looked about the room he was currently in. "And now I am simply a muggle school teacher. For kindergarteners no less!"

A group of kids were currently huddled around a toy chest, literally ripping the toys apart and fighting off the other kids with hair pulling just to get to the toys. One little doll had its head ripped right off its cloth shoulders and was tossed across the room, landing gracefully at the man's feet. He sighed darkly when he saw it and kicked it back into the mess of little kids, who attacked it viciously, causing the man to wince.

In a strange sense, it reminded him much of the final battle at Hogwarts. The very battle that got him stuck in this situation in the first place. This made him even more angry.

"That's enough!" He declared loudly, his voice starling the children back into reality. "Back in your seats, its time for class to begin."

If wizard children were afraid of him, then muggle children were terrified of him. One poor student even peed his pants on his way back to his seat. This made Snape smirk a bit, though it didn't lessen his stress any less. In his mind, that rowdy group of children was still worse than any form of death he had escaped from.

"Now open your text books to page 394." He said on instinct, but then mentally cursed himself when the children looked very confused. "Open your packets and do pages 3,9, and 4."

The children did as they were told, except for one student, who was busily drawing with his crayons, a picture of Snape falling into a volcano. The ex-potions master walked to the child and snatched up the paper and looked at it, then looked down at the surprised child, and then back at the photo before placing it down.

"Magma is not lavender colored, Mr-" He looked down at the boy's name tag and his eyes lowered. "-Malfoy."

The child's picture, emerald eyes and blonde hair color, and name for that matter, all reminded him of one of his years at Hogwarts with a student of his. Specifically Harriet and Draco's first year of Hogwarts.

"Fifty points Gryffindor- Damn it." He muttered that last part in frustrated when he let both statements slip. "Ignore that previous statement and get to work on your assignment."

Finally, after the children had finished their assignments it was time for their our long lunch and recess, and luckily, it wasn't Snape's turn to be on recess duty. As soon as the children left, he got up and left the class room and headed in the direction of his car, stating that he was taking a lunch break as well. Upon arriving to the parking lot, he found the car he had been given, curtsey of Harriet's cousin, and after putting a spell on the car (he had no idea how the hell that machine worked nor did he want to go through the hassle of 'Driver's Ed' he got in and let the car drive off to his new home, where he was going to write and send Harriet a very harsh howler.

However, as he approached his house, he saw the two people he did not want to see at the moment. One was a tall blonde male with grey eyes, and the other was a pregnant woman with raven colored hair and emerald colored eyes. They stood on the porch as if waiting for him, to see how his first day as school teacher had gone. The older man got out of his car and slammed the door shut and approached the two.

"I will kill you both for this ridiculous arrangement." Snape hissed at the two smirking adults. "I had a child throw up on me! And your little spy was a clever touch also!"

"Oh, you leave Scorpios out of this." Harry said with a soft laugh. "And you won't kill a pregnant person would you?"

"I almost did when you had the first runt." Snape reminded her, but then took notice of Draco, who was now bright red from trying not to laugh. "And whats so funny Mr. Malfoy."

"I really didn't expect our son to be the first thing you noticed, I really thought it would've been the recorder camera on your desk." The blonde said with a wide grin.

Snape stared at him for a moment, then he looked at the blonde's lover, and then back at the blonde. They had been filming him, more than likely laughing at his pain when they got the tapes back (and knowing their son, he was more than likely sending the tapes to AFV).

"You just love to see me suffer. Don't you?" He asked the two and they both frowned.

"Of course not. We are just getting back at you for Hogwarts." Harry responded with a smile.

"Fifty points Gryffindor." Snape muttered dryly.

"You know that doesn't work here?" Harry informed him gently.

"I know... Its a force a habit."

He glared at the couple one last time before returning to his car, trying to think of the perfect revenge for the two.