Summary: Sitting in as jurors on a trial doesn't count as a first date.
Pairings/ Characters: Clint Barton/ Darcy Lewis; Phil Coulson, Tony Stark
Warnings: I know that they wouldn't be put on the jury because of knowing one of those involved but eh, artistic liberties?
A/N: I think I work better when being forced to wait long periods of time with only my iPhone as company. Another fic written on my phone.
A/N2: Been wanting to write this since I got my jury duty letter. The things I do on the government's time...
"What do you mean you can't get me out of it?!" Darcy almost screamed in frustration but her attempts to muffle it made it come out as a strangled groan. Coulson raised an amused eyebrow at her.
"Jury duty is your civic duty as an American citizen," stated Coulson, voice completely void of sarcasm. He kept his hands perfectly folded in front of him on his desk and his face was straight laced as ever.
"But this is a big scary secret government agency. Can't you snap your fingers and make it go away?" Darcy was getting close to begging now. In her opinion, she had more important things to do than sit around all day and listen to some open and shut case about parking tickets. She's been opting to push the date back for a year now but it seemed she had to go this time.
"We do have our limitations Miss Lewis. I'm afraid my hands are tied. I do encourage you to use this opportunity to fully appreciate our judicial system. A fair trial with a jury of one's peers is not a right offered to many," Coulson observed solemnly.
Darcy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
"I'll be sure to remember that when I'm being tried for my attempted murder of you. There's some sweet irony in that," not even before all the words were out of her mouth, Darcy felt a looming presence behind her. She turned around quickly to see Clint Barton, bow and arrow enthusiast and guard dog extraordinaire. He was looking down at her with his serious frown face, which was a bit of a shame because Darcy thought he had a pretty nice smile that always lit up his face.
"Relax Fido, I was joking."
"Miss Lewis, please give my secretary your summons on your way out and she'll make sure you are paid the day you need to go in."
"Sweet! I get paid for it?"
"My understanding is only up to three days, we still provide your salary but afterwards, the court provides a small payment."
"I better get something cool like a murder case," Darcy simply concluded, raising her head haughtily and turning to leave. Clint blocked her way, edges of his mouth tugging into an almost smile. He seemed to want to say something but just ended up stepping aside. Without a glance back, she left the office.
Leaning back in a chair that was both quite roomy and the most uncomfortable she had ever been in, Darcy frowned as she looked around the room. It was large, white walled and full of wooden chairs. On one side, there was a podium, a TV on a tall cart that screamed high school, the desk of the rather friendly security officer on duty and the entrance into another small room she had yet to explore. All around her, people of varying ages, race and interest levels were sitting and waiting, holding similar numbered cards in their hands. Darcy figured Coulson would be glad to know that the random assignment had prevailed in bringing in a nice sample of NYC population.
Still, Darcy was mildly annoyed that she still had to wait when they weren't even sure they needed her.
When she did another sweep of the room, she noticed a sweet looking guy with shaggy hair smiling at her tentatively. He looked to be early in his college career and Darcy smiled back, enjoying the slight blush it gave the guy. She supposed had she been a little younger, she might have been forward and started a conversation. Working at SHIELD had done horrors to her dating life though. Sure, the larger than life people she interacted with made her appreciate the normal folk she met with but dates tend to think you were blowing them off when you have to dash in the middle of dinner because of SCIENCE! Also, Tony doing background checks and teasing Darcy about her potential dates was not cute nor funny anymore.
Sighing, Darcy decided that if the kid got the courage to walk up and talk to her, she might give him her number. It probably wouldn't work out but he looked like the patient type.
While Darcy continued to pretend to read a provided and horribly outdated Homes and Gardens magazine, she took glances at the slow stream of people waking through the door to sign in. When a rather familiar face waked through and handed his form to the officer, Darcy sat up straight and cursed under her breath.
"Hands tied my ass..."
After getting his name crossed off and a numbered card, Clint Barton swaggered on over and sat down next to Darcy. He gave her a smile and leaned back, letting his legs stretch out.
"What the hell are you doing here?" hissed Darcy.
"I'm here to perform my civic duty," shrugged Clint innocently but Darcy wasn't fooled.
"Oh so Coulson can't get me out of this but he can put you in? What? He thinks I need a chaperone or something?"
"Hey it's all random. Coincidence," insisted Clint.
"Great," groaned Darcy.
"You're breaking my heart here. I can't be that horrible to hang around?" Clint put on an exaggerated pout.
"This is the only time we've said more that a few words to each other."
"What? Aw, come on, what about New Mexico?" Frowned Clint, this time letting real concern cross his features. Darcy thought for a moment but only remembered a short, booze fueled conversation in the only bar in town before being distracted by Jane.
"What? The bar? Didn't I ask you something about..oh god," the embarrassing one sided conversation flooded back and Darcy remembered she had been feeling the effects of her two shots. She said something about his arms or ass, likening them to Gods and how she should know because she tased one. Not one of her best moments but also not the worst.
"Yeah," his patented smirk starting to fall into place. "First time my ass has been compared to Thor's mighty lightning bolts. Though still don't know what you meant about showing you mew mew..."
"Oh god, can we just like, forget that happened? I was tipsy and getting bored of letting Jane eat the last pop tart without throwing away the box, all because her boyfriend went back to outer space. I get...stupid when I'm annoyed and drunk."
"I think you're cute when you're drunk," Clint mumbled but before Darcy could clarify, the security officer got up and walked to the podium, calling for everyone's attention.
The video they were shown made Darcy feel like she was in middle school. Voice over dropping random history facts and enthusiastic actors talking about how life affirming jury duty was. She was half expecting Coulson to pop up and discuss civic duty. It did peak her interest though on what would happen if she got picked. The officer said they'd likely leave without sitting in a trial but at this point, she wondered if she would rather have been in one to justify all the waiting they had been warned about.
As the movie reached its end, Clint leaned over and whispered in Darcy's ear.
"Kind of disappointed that it wasn't in School House Rock form."
Darcy tried to suppress her giggles but couldn't stop a loud laugh from erupting. Everyone turned to look at her and she slid down her chair. Clint sat still, only indication of his comment was his damn smirk.
When 12:45 came around, the officer called everyone back into the room before walking to the podium. Darcy and Clint had taken full advantage of the second room's vending machines and rule that they could talk there without annoying the other jurors too much.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to say we will be needing some of you to sit in a civil law trial. Since there are 50 of you, only 7 will be called. Those who are not called will be free to leave. Any questions?"
Of course. Of course the day Darcy goes in for jury duty, Clint Barton would be there. Of course they would actually have a trial. Of course Darcy would be picked (at least she had the satisfaction of seeing the surprised look on Barton's face when he was also picked. Should have taken a picture for proof). Of course the trial she was sitting in was for Tony Fucking Stark. Because paying for a fender bender was not even a drop in the bucket of the Stark Empire but Tony lived off of annoying authority figures and just anyone who questioned him. Because she had to sit in a trial for the man who took a month before even attempting to learn her name when she'd handed him coffee more times than she cared to count. Because this was Darcy's life.
Tony's verdict? Guilty as hell.
Didn't this make her bias? Clint fought beside Tony. That had to make him bias. For or against, Darcy wasn't entirely clear. Still, judicial system fail right there, Son of Coul. There was a naughty glint in Clint's eye that made Darcy shiver slightly. She may or may not have enjoyed it.
"This should be good," mumbled Clint and he leaned forward. For a second, Stark smirked in the direction of the jury but went back to talking to Happy, who was sitting behind him.
"Mr. Stark, are you incapable of taking anything seriously?" Asked the judge. Darcy raised an eyebrow and snickered. That was some Judge Judy sass right there. She could get behind that. Also, Stark was starting to make up law numbers and codes again. Even though the woman trying to sue Stark was starting to look more and more like a gold digger, Tony really needed to stop making shit up because it was masking the things that were actually true.
"I'm a big sandcastle enthusiast."
"You have shown this case nothing but disrespect since I have entered the courtroom and I will not have it. Either you respect mine and everyone else's time or I will find a way to make sure you spend a month in prison for direct contempt of court. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, your honour," Tony bit, some of his bravado deflating. It was nice to see someone other than Pepper successfully bring him down a few pegs. Darcy glanced over at Clint and could tell he was enjoying it too.
"Good, now, will the plaintiff please continue."
Finally, all evidence was in, final arguments were made, a rather snarky reenactment by Tony had been done and the jury was sitting down for deliberations. While the day had been long, Darcy had to admit, having Clint by her side did sort of make time go by faster. It was a little embarrassing but she had started to notice little things, like the cute way he frowned at his empty Doritos bags and sadly said "aw, Doritos," or the sinfully musky way he smelt. She kind of wanted to jump him and she hated her past tipsy self for ruining any chance with him. Seriously? Comparing his ass to lightning? She knew she had better pick up lines.
"Look, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but..." Greg, the cute college student who had been smiling at Darcy earlier, let the sentence hang.
"Word," Clint agreed. He was adorably lame. Which was a shame because Greg was also adorably lame and she knew she had a better chance with him. But Clint's muscles were so shiny. By this point in her dating life, Darcy knew better than to go for muscle over a safe sweetheart but then again, when was she one for rational choices?
Apparently, Don, the only black man on the jury who also seemed to say random wise one-liners, also thought the two whiter than white boys were adorably lame and shook his shoulders as he chuckled.
"We're not here to judge her intentions," Sandra stated. Sandra, a middle school science teacher, took her role as a juror very seriously and had been taken notes throughout everything. "We're here to judge Miss Haskin and Mr. Stark based on the law and the facts given."
"Still can't believe it," Don shook his head. "Man has more money than he knows what to do with. I heard he built a, a personal beauty salon for himself in that tower of his. What man would build himself a personal beauty salon?"
"Prince," offered Clint, making Don roar with laughter and Darcy smile at his slightly out of date references.
"You got that right!"
"I hear Stark uses gold plated staples," added Clint. It was true but even if the gold plated staples were a bit much, the personal beauty salon was kind of nice. She'd gotten a trim, head massage and mani-pedi while waiting out one of his moods last month. The girls at the salon were paid a lot of money to sit around until Tony needed his beard trimmed. Obviously, they got bored. Lucky for Darcy, they offered free highlights to anyone they thought was good conversation (or had the best gossip).
"Yeah? See, a man like that, paying off some woman's scratched car is nothing to him. Why is he making such a big deal? Unless he thinks he's right."
"Stark is an egomaniac," Bill, a bank teller, insisted. "He's shown it enough on TV."
"We're not supposed to let those type of things cloud our judgment," Sandra started to insist but Bill ignored her.
"I see loads of guys like him at work. Guy gets a load of money and he thinks the sun shines out his ass and nothing he does is wrong. Stark was wrong, he should pay up."
"Now, now, man may look like a nuisance and have no sense of respect but I think he works for his money," Don started to argue. "Besides, I've seen more than my share of Miss Haskins. I can tell from the look in her eye and the way she talks. She's just in it for the money. She doesn't care if she's right or not. Just doesn't want to work."
"Stark thinks up one idea every five years. He hires people to think up everything else so he can fly around on his private jet," Bill stated angrily. "Let the little guy get something."
"Stark does more than that," Darcy spoke up, surprising herself a little. Stark may be annoying but he worked a lot. Man was practically married to his inventions. In fact, Darcy was sure she overheard the end of a story where Tony said he was legally married to JARVIS for a few hours. Despite his partying ways, which were a little better than before, Tony clocked in his fair share of hours.
"Oh really?" Bill said skeptically.
"Yeah," Darcy wasn't sure where she was going with this without stating that she technically worked for him. "Uh, didn't he decide to stop making weapons? He was the one who designed his Stark phones. I mean, I'm a Steve Jobs follower but still, his phones seem pretty cool."
"I haven't had any dropped calls," Greg stated, giving Darcy another shy smile. It encouraged her, even if they were less frequent since she started to talk with Clint in the waiting room.
"See? And, and his suits? That's all him. Besides the fact that he can built so many different things-"
"So the guy makes a phone and a robot suit, big deal," Bill refused to back down. "He regularly destroys New York City with the suit."
"Can we please get back to the case? All of these things are irrelevant. Put aside your prejudices so we can review the evidence," Sandra commanded, her skills at reigning in middle schoolers in full display. Thankfully, everyone shut up and even Bill looked a little sheepish. Don on the other hand, had been staring at Clint.
"Hey, I see you around before? You look kinda familiar."
"Huh? Must have one of those faces," Clint shrugged.
In the end, Miss Haskins was found to be the one to owe Stark money, Darcy never got Greg's number and everyone was returning to normal life. It sort of sucked because that it meant Clint also returned to avenging Robin Hood style. Even though it was late in the afternoon, the sun was still out and the weather was nice. Darcy thought she would walk some of the way home instead of waiting around for Stark and a free ride like Clint seemed to do.
"Hey! Hey Darcy!" Clint called, catching up to her when she stopped at the crosswalk.
"Oh, hey. I thought you were riding back to the Tower with Tony."
"Yeah well you weren't around so..." Clint let the sentence hang but she didn't know what she was supposed to infer.
"So?" Asked Darcy, surprised that Clint was looking almost as awkward as she felt.
"So. Uh, today, it was fun yeah?" He asked nervously.
"Yeah, I guess. Guess it was kind of fun."
"We should do it again, right?"
"Uh, sure? Next time we randomly get picked for jury duty at the same courthouse on the same day..." said Darcy, taking a closer look at the extra bit of nerves Clint seemed to have all of a sudden. She worked things out rather quickly from there. "Oh my god! Coulson did fix this up so you could trail me!"
"What? No! Coulson didn't have anything to do with this."
"But you did?"
"Ye- I mean-"
"You forged jury duty? Why?" Darcy couldn't believe what she was hearing. What shit did she do in the past to get a freaking Avenger to trail her on a trip to jury duty?
"It's not like having an extra juror is a bad thing...I, I mean that, well. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you. To get to know you," said Clint helplessly.
"A 'Hey, you wanna get a drink?' would have worked."
"That's what Stark said," Clint half mumbled, half growled. "Look, I got the impression lately that you haven't wanted much to do with me."
"So you made sure that you got picked with me to serve jury duty just to have an excuse to talk to me?" asked Darcy. It was kind of sweet, she supposed, in a strange, hacking into government computers sort of way. And she hadn't wanted much to do with him prior but that was because he'd been all serious frown face with her every time they talked. Though, she supposed if he thought she didn't want anything to do with him in the first place, then that might have explained his stony expression.
"Well, I made sure that I was called in, the fact we were both picked was a nice coincidence. And Stark was an even bigger one. But it's Stark so we can't rule out him fixing all of that."
"I can honestly say a guy has never done anything like this, just to get to know me," admitted Darcy.
"So a second date?" Clint asked hopefully.
"A first date. Trials don't count as a date," Darcy corrected.
"But it'll be a great story to tell at parties," Clint smiled. It lit up his whole face. Darcy couldn't help but smile too.
"I suppose, but I think you should at least buy me a cool beverage. You know, give the story a proper happy ending."
"How happy is this ending going to be?" Tried Clint, reading some hidden undertones though he didn't seem to be pushing it too much.
"If I'm feeling generous, I may let you buy me a wrap. I'm starving. Doritos aren't a sufficient date food."
"Hey, I can make a night with a bag of Doritos magical."
"Do the same with a smoothie and maybe that'll be date three."
