. Disclaimer:I don't own anything in this story, except the plot, I guess.

Just so you know, Voldemort looks like Tom Riddle in this story. If there are any spelling errors, that would probably be because I was cracking up throughout writing this. This is my second story that I posted. The first one sucked, so don't look for it!

Now, you can read...

The Final Battle had arrived. On one side of the battlefield Dumbledore led the Light, with Harry on his left side. On the other side, the Dark Lord, Voldemort, led his Death Eaters, with Lucius beside him. Dumbledore and Voldemort glared daggers at one another, while Lucius just nodded at Harry, who smirked at him. This scared Lucius since that smirk reminded him of someone. Dumbledore and the Dark Lord raised their wands in the air and the Final Battle began.

Everyone charged forward on either side of the field while Voldemort and Harry just walked towards one another. Everyone knew the prophecy(even though it was false). When people started to notice that Harry and Voldemort weren't fighting, they stopped to stare. Ron yelled to Harry, "Do something Harry, you're the only one one who can stop him!" Because of this outburst, Draco cast the Killing Curse at him. And still everyone continued to stare at Harry and the Dark Lord, for they were staring at each other, lustily. Then, they both smirked at the same time and ran up to the other. Ands started making out.

Everyone just gaped. They were all thinking the same thing. How did this happen? They're supposed to kill each other, not be humping like bunnies on the floor. Which they were doing now. The were naked, on the floor, with Harry on his back and Voldemort thrusting into him. And everyone just stared some more. While Dumbledore was distracted by this...occurrence, Lucius put the Cruciatus Curse on him. Dumbledore died from the pain. And still everyone stared as Harry and Voldemort were moaning and gasping words in Parseltongue that no one understood but they could guess because Voldemort went faster and they both climaxed at the same time.

The Light's army could have sworn they heard Harry say, "I love you, Tom" and Voldemort say, "And I you." but they died soon after. Harry and Voldemort got up, cleaned themselves off with a cleaning spell, and picked their clothes up off the floor and got dressed. The Death Eaters stayed silent since they didn't know what to say, but then Ballactrix screamed at Harry, "You stole My Lord away from me! Now you must die!" But she soon died at both Harry and Voldemort's wand before she could even say the spell. Voldemort finally spoke and somehow managed to look dignified, even after all his followers saw him shagging Harry into the ground. "We have won the war! As you may have noticed, Harry is on our side, and you will treat him the same respect you give me. Return to your families and celebrate."

As everyone started disapparating, Lucius heard Harry say, "How did Severus get pregnant again! I thought he could only have Draco." Lucius splinched himself