Dirty Little Secret
Dirty Feelings and Train Talking
Harry sat there cold and shivering, his room no longer alive with light because Harry could no longer see light only darkness. He was dirty and unworthy of seeing the light. Well that's what he thought.
When Harry left Hogwarts at the end of 6th year, he was pounds heavier and even had a few muscles from Quidditch. But now he was back to his old anorexic frame. When Harry left Hogwarts he thought he could handle the Dursley's abuse. Now he wanted to die, no one would want a tainted Boy Who Lived. They would find a new saviour, an innocent and heroic saviour, who can protect himself from muggles. If Harry couldn't protect himself from Vernon how in the hell did he save the entire Wizarding World from Voldemort.
Why did he let it happen? Why did he always let them do this to him? Why did they always let them win? The one thing that was his. The one thing that he wanted to save for that special person. Gone. Why was he so weak? The thought of what that man did made his skin crawl. His Uncle had done things to him that Harry certainly hadn't wanted him to do. And now no one would.
Harry decided that the best way to deal with the situation was that It Never Happened. He wasn't tainted and dirty and he was still a virgin. Someone may still want to love him.
It Never Happened.
Draco sat in his room; it was July 31st a month until his 17th birthday a month until he needed to decide his father or his love.
Draco had always known that on his 17th birthday he would come into his Veela inheritance, but in his 6th year at Hogwarts who his mate was most probably going to be. He had strong feelings of warmth, lust and happiness whenever Harry was around and in the holiday he even missed Harry's presence. Even though at school Harry tried to around him as little as possible but at least he's there.
All Draco had to hope for now his that Harry returned his feeling or at least agreed to be around him. If Harry rejected him completely Draco would die. Bummer. All the time Draco had watched Harry, he noticed little things about the boy and he some found he loved Harry's little habits and found them amazingly adorable. He could also no longer me horrible and cruel to the boy and his friends, because he had fallen hopelessly and desperately in love with Harry even without the Veela magic. So he stayed out of their way.
The next problem after Harry was of course his father. What would the great Lucius Malfoy do if he found out his son was, gay, in love with Harry Potter and didn't and had never believed in or wanted to join the cause? He was scared of his father. Of course he was everyone except Harry, Dumbledore and Voldemort was. But the last two were dead and now it was just Harry. Since Voldemort died Lucius had decided that Harry got lucky and he had to continue what Voldemort started. Draco knew his father would kill him if he had to without even blinking. And he also knew his father would force him to join the cause, marry a female and have a million heirs.
He hated his father.
Even if Draco didn't love or even like Harry he would never marry a female because obviously Draco was gay not heterosexual and the thought of heterosexual love made him sick. Being a Veela he could still have children, Veela's could get there mates pregnant. But his children would never be proper Malfoy children they would have a normal happy child hood and would never have to worry about their fathers' approval or joining someone they never believed in because Draco could never do that to his children. And also he would have never join the cause because Voldemort was a power hungry nutcase who goes around killing innocent muggles (they can't be that bad, they made Granger and she's a genius) and he killed any wizards who didn't do as he said. He lost his war.
Harry needs be saved and Draco is there to save him.
When Harry got onto the Hogwarts Express he was greeted as usual by Ron and Hermione, but he wasn't the same. He tried to get away Hermione hugged him and flinched when Ron patted him on the back. He didn't talk for the first half of the train ride, that's not to say that Ron and Hermione didn't try to engage him conversation because they did, but Harry wasn't feeling it. They soon gave up content on sitting and looking in Harry's direction.
They would always give up. He wasn't their friend because they loved him. He was their friend because it helped them; it got them where they wanted. Harry would soon find this out.
When Draco knocked on the compartment door, he was surprised to hear silence, no laughter or talking. He entered and only got more worried by the sight of an unconcerned Weasel and Granger and a very sad and depressed looking Harry. He was only shaken from his thoughts by Weasel.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" he spat.
"I was wondering if I could speak to Harry?" They looked mildly surprised, one, Draco had called Harry, Harry and not Potter and two his voice only held concern and none of his usual sneer.
"No, I think it would be best that whatever you want to say to Harry you say to us as well." Granger answered in her know-it-all voice.
"Look usually I would love to stay and chat, but I really need to speak to Harry alone." A pleading tone slipped into his voice.
"No way!"
"Okay!"
Two voices answered at the same time, one Harry and one Ron.
"What?! Harry you can't be serious?! He's Malfoy he could be trying to kill you!" Ron ranted and Harry just shrugged.
"He could and he could need me for something important. I can look after myself, Ron." Harry's voice was hard, but Draco could see the pain in Harry's eyes meaning that Harry could not look after himself, at least not anymore.
Harry and Draco left the compartment and entered the next empty compartment they could find. So they could talk in private.
"So what do you want?" Harry asked in a small, tired voice.
"I'm here to warn you." Harry looked up with scared eyes and interrupted Draco before he could continue.
"What's going on?" he inquired his voice full of fear.
"It's nothing bad, well I hope you don't think it's bad. You see, Harry, in about a month it' my 17th birthday and on the day I'm going to come into my Veela inheritance, and you're my mate, well I think you're my mate, I've been getting these signs and they all point to you being my mate. I hope it's you, I won't be able stand anyone else now. Anyway that's not the point I may act a little crazy round you and I'm apologising in advance for anything I do or say to you." Harry stood there in shock. Thinking how this was bad but also thinking this could be the chance of which he was dreaming.
"Will you be okay?" Harry asked, genuinely concerned.
"Not really but we can deal with the details and everything else when we get to it. Can't we?" Draco sounded so defeated as if he was certain Harry was going to reject him. Harry didn't know what to do. Should he comfort him? Would Draco even want Harry to comfort him? So he just said
"It'll be okay, Draco." Draco smiled a real smile and for the first time since the summer holidays so did Harry. Draco thanked Harry before they both went back to their friends.
For Harry and Draco this was the first time in a long time things had started to look up.
