This wasn't the first kiss I've ever had in my life (the first was years and years ago before all of this, behind primatech while daddy's back was turned), but this like some of the good and bad ones stood out in front of all the 'normal' ones which I've been having less and less of these days.

This kiss had sparks, so many ones exploding inside my head that it won't let me think about anything else (not even Peter did that the first time we let ourselves have our sin, and the many times after that), even if they were covered in wet chlorine filled water.

'I hope he comes back, yeah I'm that selfish, when haven't I been?'

And to think he could have let me drown, let me hurt over and over again (you all can guess who would do that, my forever bogyman who kisses like a wild dog, oh joy) just because I can but I finally found the one that wouldn't even let me suffer even for a second.

(and then he wasn't stalking me like West that said 'I never want you to hurt' so that's a huge upside.)

But for the first time in forever I got what I wanted without any of those nasty strings handing off of it (like 'yay, daddy is home!' 'oh woe, he's gone morally gray all over again'), when all of it had blown over with bodies piled high, each with a face I know and love, I got a single moment of peace.

(I finally got to rest my weary bones, after coming back for the millionth time and being broken by all the same people, even daddy)

"Miss me?"

There was one word for this moment, only a year after that kiss that shock both my and the pool's world, and after all the familiar faces crying out for help in their last moments, and that was 'alive.'

"You have no idea."