Title: Fly Away

Author: GEM

Feedback: Please send it good or bad written: 3/24/06

Rated: T

Word count: 1,168

Story Timeline: Post Maelstorm

Category: Drama/Angst

Focus: Adamas—mostly Lee and Kara

Warnings: Character Death

Summary: She lost her edge, he flew her wing, but she didn't come home.

Spoiler: Maelstorm


The one person he can always count on is Kara. She has an ability like one other. She is a natural. When she began to crumble Lee didn't think twice about allowing her some leeway. She'd saved his ass too many times to give up on her easily.

Lee wasn't sure what to make of her attitude lately. She'd already seen the phantom cylon once. That could be explained by lack of sleep and long shifts; every pilot in the fleet had similar experiences. Lee dismissed it but kept a close eye on her.

His father and he talked about her uncharacteristic attitude, her lack of confidence while flying, and chalked it up to fatigue. The Elder Adama even suggested the possibility of Starbuck, 'loosing her edge. Even the best pilots have been known to loose their edge. After all the pilots in today's Colonial Fleet had never seen wartime conditions until five years ago. Lee wasn't convinced by his father's argument, even though it was sound. He didn't want to believe that Kara had lost hers.

Lee lost his edge two years ago after the blackbird and no one helped him get it back. He did it by himself. Kara was there for him. He confided her. He told he didn't want to come back alive. He did come back alive and in time he got back his edge. Kara would get her edge back too. He wasn't giving up on her

He sat with his father and continued to discuss the possibilities for Starbuck. His father pointed out that she had seemed out of touch and distance. They once again discussed the possibility that she'd lost her edge. Lee finally agreed that Kara might have lost hers.

In the end the elder Adama left the decision in Lee's hands it was his call. He could ground her or he could let her fly. In the end he decided to let her fly.

He let her fly and she flew away. He volunteered to fly her wing. He was flying her wing because she didn't want to go back out. He asked her to trust him. He would bring her home. They flew together flawlessly for the first two and half hours. It was almost like old times. The only difference was her lack of banter over the wireless.

When Kara spotted her cylon. Lee's heart sank. "Starbuck, Apollo. No joy." He flew in formation on her wing, following her until he lost visual He listened on the wireless, as she released her weapons and fired at the phantom raider. Kara's actions caused his heart sank farther. He tried to talk her out of firing her weapons. There was nothing to fire at but he could never talk Starbuck out of anything. He lost her signal completely when she flew into the center of the storm and he was franticly trying to find her to bring her back.

This was his decision. He let her fly. He had to fly after her. He had to bring her back because he couldn't go on without her. He kept checking his dradis readout and calling her name. Each passing minute seemed like hours and the silence around him was deafening. He needed to hear her voice but she wasn't responding to him. He sent silent prayers to the gods to bring her back and then her heard her voice, but it was different. It sounded shallow, soft, and almost weak. She was calling his name. He couldn't see her, at first but she was calling his name.

Lee knew she was out there somewhere, but the moments passed as if time were standing still. When he saw her he fly towards her without hesitation. She was dangerously close to the hard deck. He could hear Gatea calling out times through his open wireless. He had to reach her. He had to get through to her before it was too late.

"Kara, Kara, listen to me, pull up now or you're dead. Pull up."

She didn't want to fly but he needed her out here. She is the best he has. He had to get into her head. He had to get her out of this psychological downward spiral she's been in. Lee pushed his plane as hard as he could to reach her. She was literally in a downward spiral now. If he couldn't get through to her she was going to die.

Her ship was out of control. Lee sat in his cockpit and watched her. It appeared to him that she wasn't doing anything to correct it. She was frozen. "Let me go, Lee. Just let me go."

Her words didn't sink in. "Say again." There was nothing, just empty air. Lee was frantic, his gut hurt, his eyes burned, his throat hurt from pleading with her. In the end he could do nothing for her. He watched her break apart. He was sure he was dead, not her. It was his heart that stopped beating, not hers. It had to be his ship that broke apart, not hers. This has to be what it feels like when you die.

When the blinding light in front of him disappeared he was in his plane barreling to the hard deck. He screamed "No!" It was pure shock and frustration. Kara couldn't be dead. She couldn't be gone. He must be the one who is dead. His breathing became labored with shock and tears stung his eyes threatening to fall. The pain surging through his body was real. He was alive. He was alive and heading for the hard deck. Did he care? It he kept going his life would end? Did it really matter? His life was already over.

Lee snapped back into reality. He thought about Dee and his conversation with Kara before they left. He hadn't lied to Kara. His relationship with Dee had been better then ever. He did have a reason to live.

His father's commanding voice filled his helmet. He pulled up in time. He fly back to Galactica on reflex nothing more. He lands and sits in his cockpit. He doesn't know where he is. He is numb, his chest hurts and his stomach feels like a hot dragger is being thrust into it.

When he gains some awareness of his surroundings, he looks around the flight deck. No one is making eye contact and the vast space usually bustling with activity, is filled with and eerie silence. Lee's legs are heavy but they carry him to a small-secluded space away from the prying eyes of others.

It was his call. He let her fly. He was her wing. He let her fly and she flew away.

He would deal with his grief on his own. It was his fault. He let her fly. He made the decision. He let her fly and she flew away never to return to him. Lee lost her and a piece of himself died with her.