I walked out to lunch at my shitty school with my best friends Andy and Bradie, the only people I know who aren't ignorant, childish assholes. What sucks is that Bradie isn't in my class, nor is Andy since he's a year older than the both of us, he's Bradie's step brother and he always says how annoying he is when I find it that Bradie is more annoying than Andy. Andy hangs out with the wrong crowd in class, they all do some sort of drug, get wasted, steal things and don't do their work so Andy's starting to fail year 10, I mean, yeah, sure, they like the same music and stuff as Andy but I don't want them dragging him down with them.
We sat out the portable we chilled at, the freezing cold air making me shake the slightest.
"You alright dude?" Andy asked, laughing slightly.
"It's freezing" my teeth chattered
"then why aren't you wearing your jumper and why are you wearing shorts?"
"because they're in the wash from when we played soccer in sport"
Bradie laughed "that was fucking hilarious"
"shut up" I said annoyed, lately Bradie's been poking fun at me, it makes me frustrated and just want to hit him.
"yeah Bradie, leave poor Shaun alone" he tousled my curly dark brown hair, I kicked his leg.
"Shut up dickhead"
"OI, BRADIE, WANNA CHILL WITH US?!" Bradie's friend Jeremy said, I looked at Andy with a disappointed look, Andy wore the same look. Bradie seems to have drifted away from us, to hang with them.
"gotta go guys" he got up and ran toward him. I sighed and huddled up slightly, shaking still as Andy started to eat the pizza he got from the canteen.
"fuck, you really are cold Shaun. Do you want my jacket? I'm wearing a jumper underneath"
"p-please"
"here" he took it off and passed it to me, I calmed down and relaxed in his warmth as I got the jacket on.
"want a bite of my pizza as well?"
"okay" I smiled at him, he passed it to me, I took a bite, my cold teeth were struck by the hotness of the pizza.
"thank you" I said with my mouthful, passing it back, he laughed.
"Anytime, aye, do you want to come to mine after school and practice Goodbye?"
"yeah, I'd prefer that than being stuck at home with my annoying family"
"alright, sweet" he laughed and finished his pizza before the bell went. I went back to the crappy mood I was in this morning. I had no friends in my class, so I was just miserable.

I walked into the class awkwardly as everyone stared at me.
"Shaun, you're ten minutes late" my teacher yelled
"sorry miss, I had to walk my friend to class" I said, basically dropping my things on the far side table, sitting down.
"That wasted ten of my minutes now I'm going to waste yours, after school"
all the popular boys in the class did an 'ooh'
"what! Miss, please don't, I need to go and-"
"and I have to get home, feed four kids, a cat, a dog, my husband, myself, do the cleaning and visit my mum in hospital but you don't see me complaining!"
"if you keep me back it's only going to waste another ten minutes of your life, I hope you know that" I mumbled softly, picking at the scratch on my arm from soccer.
"What was that Diviney?!"
"Nothing miss go fucking continue with your work!"
"What did you just say to me?" she looked furious, just as furious as me.
"I didn't say anything"
"that's it! I'm sick of your attitude, get your stuff and sit outside until you're ready to act like a civil human being!"
"but miss-"
"go!" I grabbed my things and groaned, getting up, everyone was just staring at me. I felt sudden anxiety take me over, I stormed out and slammed the door, sitting outside the classroom. Feeling sudden tears of anger in my eyes. What the fuck did I do so wrong. I hate this teacher and I hate this fucking school. Andy walked down with his 'friends' I smiled at him but he didn't notice me, he just kept walking. His friend was saying something about weed. I seriously hope he doesn't make Andy do it one day. I sighed and stood up.
"Shaun" Andy yelled, he ran up to me.
"what?" I asked
"can I borrow your book? I left mine at home"
"fine, I'm in enough shit as it is" I passed it to him
"sweet, thanks" he smiled and ran back to Darren and the others. I pulled the door open and walked back in.
"finally decided to join us again?"
"yep. Do you have paper? My friend took my book"
"no Shaun, you know you needed a book for this class...Jack, work with Shaun" I looked over at Jack, he was a very buff, popular person, he looked at me in disgust. Everyone started laughing. I sat at the desk and looked down, resting my head on my hand. Those tears swelled up again. I've been so stressed out that I have so much emotion to let out that I can't let out, because I'm a boy. I can't show people I'm weak.
"miss, I said no..."
"I don't want to work with that faggot anyway" he said, I breathed deeply and got up.
"see, I think everyone would rather me leave than work with them" I grabbed my pen and made my way out. My teacher didn't even care, she just sat back at her desk. I walked to my locker, grabbing my bag then went to the bathroom. I just sat against the wall of the large, empty bathroom. The teasing and yelling does affect me, I get it all day and I'm sick of it. I get the same shit at home. There's basically no escape. Life sucks. I bursted into tears. I'm such a fucking pussy. I tried to make my breathing even as I looked across to the mirror in the bathroom which for some reason, made me want to cry more. I'm just a fat, ugly, terrible mess. I looked through my bag and grabbed out my scissors. I opened them and looked up as I pressed the cold blade to my skin, I scrapped over and over at least 5 or so times. I looked down and smiled, is it bad that I'm proud I made myself bleed? I was never able too, since I use scissors. I put them bag in my bag and pulled my sleeve down, wiping my eyes and going out of the bathroom, making my way back to the locker where I was to meet Andy. The bell went and everyone started walking out.
"Hey Shaun?" Bradie asked from behind me
"yeah?" I turned to him.
"Tell Andy I won't be catching the train with you guys, I'm going to Lake Haven with Jeremy and some chicks.
"alright, have fun"
"sweet, thanks!" he ran off. I sighed and turned around to see Andy walk toward me.
"Hey" I smiled at him
"You okay dude? You have a bit of uhh"
"what"
"here" he stroked under my eye with his thumb, smiling. I put my hand on my cheek
"You okay Shaun? Why were you crying?"
"I don't want to talk about it, can we go?"
"sure, let me get my bag, and here's your book" he passed it back to me.
"thanks" I smiled and put it in my bag as he got his bag out.
"oh, and Bradie isn't coming home with us, he's going with Jeremy to Lake Hole"
Andy laughed then sighed "of course he is...I swear we're the only one that actually cares about this band"
"and Blink-182"
"well of course" we laughed and made our way out of the school.

We ran inside from the bus through the pouring rain. We went up to Andy's room and both crashed on his bed.
"Still so cold" I looked at Andy, pouting. Andy got up and turned the heater on.
"there. Now, give me my jacket back. It'll get warm soon."
"okay" I laughed and took it off, passing it back to him, he grabbed it and looked at the sleeve which had my little trickle of blood stained on it, my eyes widened a bit as I began to panic. I couldn't run away though, never from Andy.
"Shaun...why is there blood on the sleeve?"
"it's tomato sauce" I kept a straight face
"Shaun"
"yes?" I smiled nervously at him
"show me your arm"
"why? That's a stupid question to ask"
"show me"
"no"
"shoooow me"
"make me" He jumped on me, pinning me down, I watched his expression go from disappointed, angry to sad as he twisted my arm around.
"Shaun, why'd you do it? You said you'd stop, I did"
"it's hard, I get teased, bullied, pushed, shoved"
"you don't think I don't?" he got off me, I sat up.
"I'm sorry...I couldn't help myself"
"I know, I can't get mad at you. At least they aren't as bad as the ones on your legs became"
"yeah, I know right"
"We'll get through this. Promise" Andy sat next to me, putting his arm around my waist, I looked at his hand and felt slightly awkward but comforted.
"okay...hey, want to help me finish a song I was working on in class today?"
"alright, why not"
I smiled and pulled out my book from my bag, opening up to the page where 'Before Angels Fall' was.
"all I need help with is this part after the "would you think I'd have a chance, from the start" part" I said, pointing to it.
"alright, how does the tune go?"
I started singing the start then he stopped me, singing into my ear softly "Every time you take my hand, you take my heart and I think I'm dying because you said 'take my breath away'" he grew into a whisper, I got a weird feeling in my stomach and looked down to realise his hand was on mine, I pulled it away and smiled slightly, grabbing my pen.
"it's perfect Andy, thank you" I looked at him, his face look kind of confused, like he found something he hadn't noticed before...a hidden talent for writing music? I don't know. I laughed slightly and wrote it down. It was perfect.