Ohhey, look, readers! Anyways, name's Ex, and here's a story about two women going on a super awesome adventure! So, the plot basically revolves around the premises of the 13 Lords of Chaos, the current plot in AQWorlds. Except plus a bunch of nonsense and two women. Who are both somewhat perverted. And a talking book with various mental conditions.
... Yes, really.
Written in conjunction with my dear friend, Bunny. Love you, Bunbun~. Oh, and I might add other quests/mini-plots as spinoffs, although don't expect any member-only stuff. I don't have the money to get member-only stuff. Blah. Only going to do spinoffs if I get off my lazy bum. Which is a big if.
The morning atmosphere was cold; heavy drops of rain crashed onto the fertile soil. The cliff's steep incline was slippery when wet (as Tarinnia quickly learned, considering she was wearing sandals), and lightning lit up the overcast sky.
"Ooh, look, Tari!" Naahma enthusiastically yelled, waving her armour clad arm toward the dark skinned mage, "You can see the castle from here! Doesn't it look creepy and cool?"
"I'ma sure it looks amazing, Naahma," Tarinnia replied in a tired drawl, envious of the rogue's speed and boundless energy. Locks of snowy white hair fell over the mage's amethyst eyes; what were they doing on the outskirts of town at this time anyways?
Oh, right. A morning jog.
Flashes of lightning turned the sky into a catastrophic dance of light and sound. Tarinnia moved towards Naahma, staring at the view. Had the weather been agreeable, it would have been a splendid sight, but the truth was, thunderstorms weren't agreeable in the least. "C'mon, let's go back home," Tarinnia asked gently (knowing full well that Naahma would flat out ignore her), reaching an arm out to Naahma. However, the action came a bit too slowly.
A sudden, bold flash of lightning and thunder gave way to very terrified screeches as the cliff Naahma had been standing on gave way to the forces of gravity. Naahma was sent tumbling down the cliff, the only thing separating her from a serious trip to Cleric Joy being metal sheets of armour (not that this would change Naahma's certain favour of the leather armour, but she had no money to buy it, which was strange considering that leather was usually cheaper than steel). Tarinnia raced down the safer (... sort of) side of the cliff, using her wooden staff to jump over puddles and mud, but gravity simply pulled Naahma down faster.
When Tarinnia reached the ground she took notice of a little blue rabbit-mouse thing watching in sadistic delight ("Let's see how right and mighty he feels once I roast him through and through," Tarinnia had complained a few days ago for unknown reasons). A series of grunts and complains grabbed her attention, leading Tarinnia to Naahma, whose black hair looked brown under the layers of mud.
"How did you survive that?" Tarinnia asked, as asking, 'Are you okay?' would have been pointless.
"Like hell I know, but I'd never try it again," Naahma answered gruffly, standing up in the puddle she had dropped into. At this moment the rogue noticed Zorbak who was smiling like the demented Moglin he bloody was. Clearly, he was highly amused by Naahma's act of clumsiness she was so known for. Both girls planned on giving him a piece of their mind, mostly because everyone else in Lore wanted to.
"Zorbak, you blue fuzzball of dickery," Tarinnia 'greeted' him, followed closely by Naahma, "Come over here so we can roast your hide and sell your severed head to the highest bidder."
"Fuck you," Zorbak answered, completely unfazed. He had no reason to be afraid of a clumsy rogue and a fairly newbie-ish mage and as a result there was no reason for him to be gentle or courteous.
"You first, or we whine to Warlic about you," Tarinnia spat, grinning victoriously. Zorbak seemed to pale at the threat. In Lore, you did not mess with the Blue Mage, "Let's see how you like dem apples, darlin'."
"Fags," Zorbak finally snarled, "I hope Bloodtooth eats you both up."
"What the hell is a Bloodtooth?" Naahma curiously added, her own childish personality quickly overcoming whatever grudge she held against the evil Moglin.
"Giant red dragon. Kidnapped the princess. The entire mainland has been talking about it. It happened sometime at dawn," Zorbak explained, although his tone was quite cold, "There's a big reward if you save her."
"We need money, Tarinnia!" Naahma excitedly shouted, "We just need to pay Penny a bit more until the house is ours."
"Go ahead," Zorbak gestured towards the brown dirt road, smirking. There was a glint in his dark, dark eyes that Tarinnia did not trust at all, "I hope I can find whatever leftovers Bloodtooth has left. They'll look lovely in my collection. If he leaves any leftovers, anyways."
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Naahma had planned on going to find Bloodtooth immediately, but Tarinnia had other plans. She convinced Naahma that they should go home first and stock up, as there was no sense in attacking a dragon without decent weapons (actually, there was no sense in attacking at all, as Naahma and Tarinnia weren't the strongest of people who walked through Battleon).
"I don't at all understand what the use of that there thing is," Naahma commented, wondering if she should try and hold the staff or just poke its gooey... goo, "Where did you find it anyways?"
"Maya needed me to help her get rid of some Slimes," Tarinnia said, holding the slimey staff closer to Naahma (who poked the eyes at the top which responded by blinking at her), "I found one of them holding this."
"... I didn't think Slimes had the proper limbs to hold anything."
"That really doesn't matter right now," Tarinnia asserted, "There's a path from here to a cliff that has a good view of the sky. We can go through that. I need to drop off some books to Maya anyways. Donating is always good, right?"
"Books are boring."
"Not the ones I read!" Tarinnia squealed. Naahma stared, thoroughly wary of Tarinnia's books, and didn't question her any further.
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Luckily, the Slimes were rather cooperative today, and most of them allowed the women to pass. On the way, Tarinnia and Naahma talked about how Slime jelly tasted- probably helped. The Sneevil wandering around also left them alone, probably because Tarinnia and Naahma were quite a few feet taller then them. When they got to the bookstore, Tarinnia was the first one to jump right up to the giant... green... thing (Naahma called him an horc, but Tarinnia simply stuck with the aforementioned description), and shouted, "Hey, mister giant green thing, where'd Maya go?"
"Wut you mean! Dogear get bookstore fair and square from nice Lady. She get da club and Dogear get the bookstore," the horc assured. Somewhat skeptical but overall uncaring of what exactly happened, Tarinnia handed her old books to Dogear... who promptly took a bite out of the cover.
"He's eating the book," Tarinnia pointed out, to which Naahma said something about Tarinnia eating much stranger concoctions.
"Food for thought!" Dogear began, "Dey tell Dogear you can no judge book by cover. HAH! Dis one look AND taste just like beef jerky!"
"Beef jerky?" Tarinnia asked, crossing her arms indignantly, "Seriously, don't eat those books, I'm actually doing something out of the goodness of my heart here, dearie."
"You want books you do quests!" Dogear spat out, leaving blobs of saliva Naahma could only compare to Tarinnia's slimey staff. "Go fetch Dogear Slime in jars, they-"
Naahma and Tarinnia interrupted Dogear, "Oh, hi Maya," they both chimed, having walked to the legged bush the moment Dogear mentioned working.
"Tarinnia! Naahma!" Maya breathed after Tarinnia removed the cloth that secured her mouth, "Help!"
"He didn't rape you, did he, Maya?" Tarinnia swiftly questioned, earning her a creeped out look from Dogear and the real bookstore owner (Naahma, being almost as perverted as Tarinnia, simply giggled at the image). "No? Alright then, what happened, Maya?" Tarinnia added. Dogear was about to run away, but Naahma already had a knife at his throat. The rogue grinned wickedly, mostly to intimidate. Dogear was a massive horc after all, but judging by his grammar, he wasn't very smart, and Naahma figured intimidating him would be easy.
Maya, who Tarinnia had helped up, as her arms were tied up with thick rope, spluttered, "He's an impostor!" (Causing both Tarinnia and Maya to quip, "No shit.")
"Oh crap," Dogear growled, looking about to find a good hiding place. The green giant effortlessly slapped Naahma to the ground as if she was a rag doll and, as quick as his clumsy legs could carry him, headed for the bookstore, bulk crashing through the door.
"Ah, well, that was easier than I expected," the fairly powerless Maya expressed as Naahma (who got up after swearing loudly and shamelessly) cut through the ropes with a knife, "Wait, did he just run into the bookstore?"
"Run into is right," Naahma repeated, staring at the broken down door. Splinters were scattered on the ground, leaving a few books (and halves of some) buried, "We can get him out of there, right, Tari?" Naahma asked sweetly. Before Tarinnia could reply, Naahma had jumped into the small store, armed with her armour and an old knife.
It was all Tarinnia could do just to keep up with the agile Naahma, who weaved through the shelves of books and jumped over the scattered ones like she was flying. Tarinnia merely swept books out of her path with her slimey staff, leaving trails of goo in her wake (not that it really mattered since the place was a mess already). However, her slimey staff wasn't strong enough to shield her from Naahma, who was sent flying in the opposite direction that she had been walking in.
Naahma crashed into Tarinnia, sending both of them barreling into some books. The books came crashing down on them in a pile, leaving both women dazed and shocked. One book in particular began to speak to them, and they both swore they were hallucinating the entire thing, "OMG, OMG, OMG, don't let him eat me!"
"Someone's been hangin' out at the Inn Ternet," Tarinnia groaned, pushing Naahma off her legs.
"Yeah, you sound like Artix," Naahma agreed, getting up and stretching her back, "and since when could books talk?"
Before any questions could be answered, the sound equivalent of a house being brought down rocked the bookstore. The large horc knocked down the remaining book shelves, causing the talking grimoire to hide behind planks of wood, "I AM DOGEAR THE SPINE BENDER," bellowed the green mass of muscle, tearing through the debris and sending dust flying. Naahma and Tarinnia hopped back, the great beast's flailing arms narrowly missing their heads. Both woman scowled, minds racing in order to figure out the fastest and least damaging way of taking Dogear down.
"Tarinnia!" Naahma shouted over the sounds of a giant green thing crashing into wood as he searched for his pursuers, "Cover me!"
Without waiting for a reply, Naahma raced away from her hiding place. The armour she wore lacked the bulky metal traditional armour had and it showed. With grace and speed not normally seen in Naahma Mayfly, she began stabbing the horc in constant succession, the vicious, crying shouts from Dogear confirming the damage.
As this happened, Tarinnia was busy concentrating on a spell, eyes shut. The slimey staff she gripped tightly in her right hand glowed a soft blue, particles of ice forming a haze around the gelatinous form. Eyes opening, the mage-in-training held her staff with both hands and took aim. A mouse-sized sphere of energy shot forth, leaving a stunning trail of glistening snow in its wake. Ice hit horc and the magic took its effect, slowing down Dogear enough to make Naahma's attacks seem like blurs of daggers and knives...
However, even that was not enough. Dogear's brute strength and mass stopped the ice shard magic from piercing deep enough into his skin. A lucky hit from Dogear's fist sent Naahma flying into a wall.
"This isn't working!" Tarinnia informed, firing a fire ball at Dogear. A book was subsequently thrown at her face, but she ducked and it hit the window behind her sending pieces of glass onto the grass. Tarinnia could faintly hear Maya scream about a piece of glass going right through the brain of a Slime. With sudden insight, Tarinnia ran towards Naahma, hiding behind toppled books and splintered shelves, avoiding Dogear as well as she could.
The two women exchanged tired whispers, "If your ice shard can't puncture his skin, my poison... ah, I see," Naahma murmured and, with a quick, understanding nod, they began the fight gain.
"Eat fire, Doggy!" Tarinnia howled. Without an enhanced staff for her to channel her powers through, the fire was weaker and took longer to form, but actually harming Dogear wasn't the point. Dogear twisted his thick neck towards Tarinnia, wide mouth curving into a frown. He really did have to get out, but with these little girls following him, it would be impossible. Dogear charged towards Tarinnia, large hands grabbing at the dark skinned mage's torso. In a smooth movement, Tarinnia had stepped under Dogear's arms and was safely running away, putting a good distance between her and Dogear (well, as much distance as she could, considering the size of Maya's bookstore). Before Dogear could start running, Naahma suddenly dropped onto his shoulders.
"Eat poison, cunt!" Naahma snarled, holding onto Dogear's neck with her legs. She held up Tarinnia's slimey staff, one of Naahma's own vials of poison held fast in the staff's sticky cover. The vial was cracked and empty, poison having spread through the staff's membrane. With as much force as she could muster, Naahma plunged the staff right into Dogear's mouth. Thrown off the horc and landing on her back for the third time in the past few minutes, Naahma watched the remainder of the brawl from shadows cast by sun and wood.
The poison's effect was swift and Tarinnia was able to deal damage much easier. Of course, her slimey staff was being eaten by a giant horc, which didn't bode very well, but at least it was for a good cause. The rapid succession of fireballs and ice shards was doing a good amount of damage and Dogear was slowly being whittled away. "Naahma, you okay?" Tarinnia shouted after firing another fireball, hoping that the fire was magical enough to not cause a bookstore fire. A few more fireballs and ice shards finally caused Dogear to topple over and Naahma immediately tied up the dazed and weak horc with rope she had found lying around, "Poison is the answer to everything!" Naahma triumphantly stated, placing her foot on Dogear's chest.
"Nu-uh, the answers were my fire and ice spells, dear," Tarinnia offered to argue, "But anywhoo... we should prolly find Maya and tell her everything is alright. And find some authorities so they can get rid of Dogear."
"And find someone to help Maya rebuild her now destroyed store before we get stuck with the job?"
"Yep."
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"He ate the books you told me about?" Maya echoed, clearly crestfallen, "From what you told me, they were very enjoyable, too."
"You two are such pervs," Naahma said, laughing softly. Behind the three women, various men from the main town of Battleon were helping with the repairs. Some other men had towed Dogear away, likely to some cell.
"Anyways," Maya began as she sorted through the books she could recover that weren't half eaten by Dogear/scorched by Tarinnia, "thanks for the help. Here, I've got some stuff I want you to have."
"Ooh, thanks!" Tarinnia exclaimed, not even bothering to count the amount of money Maya had given them. The money wasn't much, but it would take Tarinnia and Naahma a step closer to paying for the house. Finally, the little house would officially be theirs. Tarinnia looked back at the book Maya had given them, instantly recognizing it as the book that had been 'talking' to them during the scuffle.
"What it is?" Naahma asked, swiping the book from Tarinnia's grasp, and flicking through the pages, "It doesn't have any words on it. What's Artix Entertainment? I never knew Artix was the head of a company."
"I don't know. Actually, this is the first time I've seen it before," Maya admitted, "but it's all I can really give you. Sorry."
"It's no problem," Tarinnia assured, "We'd better be off now. Cliffs to climb, dragon to slay. General hero stuff, yanno?"
"Good luck and be careful," Maya advised, waving as the two women began walking away. Only when Maya and her bookstore were completely out of sight did Tarinnia and Naahma stop waving.
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"I have no idea how this works," Naahma muttered, flicking through the book's pages, "I think it's possessed. Look!" Showing the book to Tarinnia, Naahma flicked through various pages. The first ones had information on both Tarinnia and Naahma, although it didn't go very deep into their histories. Their blood-type and skills were etched in elegant cursive along with their current occupations: Tarinnia the mage-in-training, studying under Battleon's own Warlic ("I think he's pissed off about me skipping all those classes... maybe I'll go back this week."), and Naahma, the rogue who was found by Metrea three years ago.
"That's right there is just plain ol' creepy," Tarinnia agreed in her drawl of an accent. They were sitting in a clearing, attention taken from the idea of slaying a dragon and given to the mysterious book. It was a leathery thing with bumps on its worn cover that vaguely resembled a face and shining, golden trim, "Yeah, it's prolly cursed. I can beg Warlic to take a look at it if he doesn't try ta' wring my brains out for not training."
"You could burn it. Fire solves everything," Naahma responded cleverly. Her smug grin was quickly wiped away when she felt the book bite her thumb.
Cue two grown women screaming like children.
"No, don't burn me!" The book begged, jumping out of Naahma's hands and landing on the grass. By now its cover had become a very human-like face with sapphire eyes and a mouth that moved as it spoke. "I- I'll make you the chosen ones! Really! Just don't burn me!"
"... holy crap," Naahma whispered. Tarinnia picked up the book by its back cover.
"... you talk," she said simply, having nothing else to really say. It was a freaking talking book and she didn't quite know what kind of conversations talking books took part in.
"Yes, yes! I am the Lore Grimoire! Please don't hurt me!" the Lore Grimoire squealed, "I'll make you the chosen ones! Just keep me alive, you have no idea how scary it was! I was about to be eaten."
"Okay, er, Grimoire," Tarinnia answered, "So... would ya like to go back?"
"Squished between a bunch of hentai? NO! I love mangas and comics but..," Grimoire yelled, shuddering, "Take me with you! Let me see something other than... than those."
"Tarinnia would love to see those," Naahma pipped, "Okay, Grimoire, you're part of the team now! Time to slaughter a dragon!"
Grimoire seemed to pale at the thought of slaughtering a dragon.
