Not Letting Go

Disclaimer: I now state I do not own any of the people mentioned in this fan fic (though I'm welcome to offers David!) This is purely for entertainment.

Rating: G

Author's note: Angel's alone and Cordelia can't stand it. After Reunion.

Angel wasn't in a good mood. It was 7pm Christmas Eve and he was alone, pottering around the old hotel where he now lived.
It wasn't as if he could even go stake some vamps. Since hardly anybody was around over the holidays they stayed tucked up in their lairs feasting on humans they had kidnapped before Christmas Eve.
He walked down the stairs, clad in sweatpants and undershirt. He stopped in his tracks when he sensed something different. He relaxed when he recognized the scent that wafted around him. It was Cordelia's perfume. He couldn't think what it was called…it came in a clear and silver bottles… hang on a minute. She hadn't been at the hotel for days.
Or had she?
Slowly he walked over to her desk. Bits of paper littered it along with a copy of Vogue, an empty coffee cup with a lipstick mark and…a brightly wrapped box.
He picked it up gingerly. On top was a cream envelope with his name written on it in her trademark swirly handwriting. He put down the box and opened the envelope, pulling out a gold Christmas card with an angel in the center. He grinned despite himself.
Typical Cordelia. He opened it cautiously afraid there would be a cross between the pages. He deserved it. But there was nothing of the kind. Reading the message his heart missed a beat…or would have if it were beating in the first place.

Angel,

I know you probably want to forget all about me. And Wesley and Gunn. But I care too much to let you be totally alone at Christmas. You saved my life so many times I figure the least I can do is TRY to save yours. Even if it's just your soul.
For a year and a half I have seen you everyday (well apart from your visits to Sunnyhell!). You've caught me after visions, comforted me when I cried and listened to me rant about everything from Wesley's annoying habits to the horrible reality of being poor.
Anyway, I'm getting of track. I said I'd be there until you reached your redemption and I meant it. No matter how many times you push me away I will NEVER give up. I refuse to let go. I know you're good Angel. Until you wake up and realize you need us, take care.

Happy Christmas

Lots of Love

Cordelia aka Vision Girl

P.S. DO NOT open the present until tomorrow!

Angel put the letter back into envelope and swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat. She was annoyed he could tell, but she still cared. Once again he picked up the box and went upstairs ready to brood some more.

Cordelia breezed through the glass doors of the hotel, dressed festively in a red tank and cardigan with black jeans and black boots. The ensemble was completed with a par of angel shaped studs and a red patent handbag. Her hair was swept up in a high ponytail that swung behind her as she walked.
She looked over to where she had left the box yesterday afternoon and was pleased to notice it was gone.
She climbed the stairs and walked along the corridor to Angel's bedroom. He occupied a whole suite of rooms but only slept in one. Pushing the door open she saw him, lying with his back towards her.
"Good sign…" she muttered to herself, crossing the room and kneeling by the other side of his bed. She could tell he was awake. His eyes were fluttering beneath his lids as if he were trying to decide to open his eyes and see her or pretend that she wasn't there. Either way she was sticking around for awhile.
"Morning." She whispered, looking at her watch. It was 9am Christmas day and where was she? Sitting on a pretending to asleep vampire's bed.
"I see you got my gift." She said picking up the box that he had left on his bedside table. The paper had been meticulously removed and the box was still in perfect condition. She chuckled to herself. When she had given Gunn a gift he'd practically ripped the whole thing apart.
"I hoped you liked it. I found the book at this old store at the mall. Its all about Ireland's legends and things. Thought you might like it. The shirt was from Gap. You used to wear white back in Sunnydale. You should start again. White really sets of a tan… but it would still look good on you. And finally we have a photo album. I've started to fill it up but if you want to change them feel free. I have some of Buffy and the old gang, some of Gunn at some LA landmarks, Wesley at a theme park….and there are some of me."
Angel could barely contain the smile. On every page there was at least one of her. At the beach in her bikini, one in her old cheerleading uniform back in High School and some of her reading, cooking and decorating, obviously taken by one of the guys. She'd left the last page blank for some reason.
"If you actually looked all the way through you would see that there's a space at the back. I did it for a reason. When you get your Shansu the first thing we are gonna do is go to the beach and get a picture of us all. Then I'm going to sit and watch the sunset with you. Doyle got to do it last time but its gonna be me who gets the honor now. And THEN you can go running back to Buffy."
This time he let the smile slip. He could just see that. And if he did get his Shansu he would make sure to do exactly as she wanted.
"One hell of a Christmas…" she remarked dryly, looking at the plain walls of the dark room.
"Remember last year?" she asked his still figure. "Doyle had died a couple of weeks before and Wesley was back in England visiting some Aunt, and it was just me and you? I dragged you to my apartment on Christmas Eve." She paused to laugh again. "I swear you brought more haircare products than I use in a year!"
"…We watched "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Gone With the Wind"…and the old version of Romeo and Juliet while you pointed out all the historical inaccuracies. Instead of Christmas dinner we had pizza. Well I had the pizza and you had red wine mixed with blood so you wouldn't gross me out. Bit of a change from now isn't it?"
Angel remembered. He also remembered her begging for a glass but him not allowing her any. It seemed only he realized how young she was. Wesley seemed to think she was as old as he was and Gunn looked to her to mother him. Maybe it was because he'd known her back in her "which dork should I diss today?" days. Or maybe it was because he made it his business to know everything about her. Including her weaknesses and her wants. Which was why…
"And you bought me those really cute shoes. And the handbag. And a year's subscription to Vogue."
He felt the bed shift as she moved herself, so she was perched on the pillows.
"I have to tell you what Wesley did…." She began, while Angel laid there simply enjoying soaking her Cordelia-ness up.

"God, my throat is killing me!" she complained, looking at her watch.
It was now 6pm. She had been talking on and off all day, sometimes reminiscing about past events like the time his evil other half jumped her in the cemetery and at others talking about normal stuff. Like how she had got a gift voucher for a department store from Gunn and a diary and fountain pen from Wesley.
"I guess I better go. They'll send out a search party if I don't ring them and let them know I'm okay. See ya soon Angel." She whispered, kissing his forehead softly. She felt a tear roll down her face and land on his cheek before she could stop it.
Slowly she leaned back up, and after tucking the blankets around him walked towards the door. She didn't notice Angel quickly turn around and catch a glimpse of her profile, hand raised to swipe at the tears that had gather in her eyes, as she closed the door.
"See ya Cordy." He said very softly, watching his humanizing influence leave his life.