Hey everyone, thank you so much for reading. This is my first fanfic that I have really taken seriously. I, like many others are completely taken by that damn beautiful elf. I felt there was so much more than could be divulged. I would love it if you would R&R, I would appreciate it greatly.
I do not own any of the characters in this story, though I would love for Fenris to own me =3

Prologue

Hawke had been in Fereldon for many years now, cleansing he town of scum, taking down powerful enemies that wished to control the town, all around being a protector of a sort. She had become The Champion by purging the town of the Quanari. Making a name for the Hawke family, and herself. She had fame, fortune and good group of friends. However, after everything she's been through she did not have the thing that she wanted most, the person she wanted most.


Hawke was lounging in her library reading a book on the psychological manifestations of former slaves, this was no rainy day leisure read, she had a purpose.

"If I only could understand what's going on in that beautiful head of his," she thought to herself, "then maybe…", she let a sigh escape her when she thought of that night where with a sudden pounce he glowed brilliant blue, pushing her against the wall, raw passion and emotion flooding the both of them. Sweetness was offered, but only a bitter taste was left in her mouth.

She remembered every detail of that night, and went over it a thousand times in her head.

"I'm sorry…I feel like such a fool. All I wanted was to be happy at least for a little while," he turned around, his back to her, "Please, forgive me." she watched his slender figure silently walking away from her. Her heart ripping apart, as if it was being pulled apart into millions of small insignificant pieces. He left without hesitating, leaving whatever relationship they had behind but he did not leave her life completely. They still were…associates, not very much companions anymore, as she kept him at a distance, and he did the same as well. They exchanged occasional fake pleasantries, and forced awkward conversations. He had said a couple times that he enjoyed following her, and she was unsure how to take his comment, all she could do say was, "Is that so?". Unfortunately he was her best warrior, the most skilled at using a blade to strike down foes, and she brought him along with nearly every quest that they went on, she possibly did this to keep him close to her, as close as he could be anyway.

She read, and read about different slaves that escaped, that started new lives but still felt like they will forever be enslaved by their own memories. Some had been able to move on, but such a scarring thing was almost impossible to forget. She was worried he would never return to her, that she would live out the years longing for him, barely speaking. She could feel her eyelids growing heavy, she closed her book and sat there a moment, staring into the blazing fire. It reminded her of the fire that she felt in her that night he took her into him. Many times before she wanted to bring it up, to just ask if he regretted it, if had any ounce of compassion for her. Just anything. She could never come close to questioning him, words could not describe how she felt. She only assumed he wanted nothing to do with it. The only glimmer of hope was that he wore her red scarf around his wrist, and her crest on his hip, she contemplated many times what this could possibly mean but, nothing made any sense to her. He had told her that night, the way he spoke before he left, made it sound like it shouldn't have happened in the first place, so why would he wear that blighted thing? Clenching her jaw to fight the tears that came every night, Hawke angrily rose from her chair and ascended to her bedroom, slowly contemplating each step. Every thing in her room, in her house, hell in that town reminded her of him, and every time she was reminded her chest felt heavy.


Hawke walked into The Hanged Man joining Varric, Isabella, and Fenris at the table. The bar was fairly quiet today, only a few people scattered about, some passed out from the night before. It was late morning, and they were meeting so Varric could give them the latest rumors.

She nodded to them collectively, "Hello everyone, how are you all?".

"I'm doing wonderful! Last night after losing to these lot I found a dashing man willing to buy me drinks. We drank up more than just the ale last night," Isabella boasted with her classic smile.

"Doin' great Hawke, got more coin than I had last night thanks to Rivaini," Varric let out a boisterous laugh, "though I did lose most of it to Broody here."

Hawke quietly giggled, her eyes fell on Fenris who was staring at her, very intently. She felt her heart skip and inhaled, "Fenris." His staring intimidated her, it was harsh and intense, more so than usual.

"Hawke," he nodded, holding her gaze with those brilliant green eyes of his.

She looked quickly away, not wanting to stare at those ice cold jade eyes any longer, her heart bounded in her chest, she swore if it beat any harder, it would arise from her chest and punch him the face. The others always caught the awkwardness between them, and tried to defer it with conversation.

Varric was the first to usually speak and try to get things on track, "Well, comrades, I've heard that there are a group of travelers out near the Wounded Coast. They've been causing some trouble, but it all was very vague. It sounded intriguing with all the mystique surround in, so I accepted. How does that sound Hawke?"

"Sounds good, I need a change around here." Hey eyes unwillingly flickered to Fenris, she noticed a slight difference in his expression, slightly softened but still fierce.

Isabella smiled, "Good, then shall we go? I've been itching for something to do…besides muscular men."


After their efforts of searching the Wounded Coast proved futile, they returned to The Hanged Man. There was not a trace of anyone on the Coast, not even raiders.

"Well...that was strange. Did anyone think so? Not a single person, no assassins, no raiders, nothing!" Hawke mused, throwing her hands up.

"Agreed, that damn place is never quiet, even if we go there for something small, some blighted group is always there to get in our way." Varric said.

"It seemed kind of peaceful really, maybe we could visit the beach for once, and not be ambushed!" Isabella suggested, she knew Hawke was wearing thin and needed a break.

"I don't know…" Hawke thought about a vacation, it sounded wonderful to her, "it sounds like it could be a terrible idea, but we may never get another opportunity like this again, huh?"

"Yes! I'm going to pack," Isabella grinned "Shall we invite everyone? I'd like to test the waters with that handsome mage we have."

Fenris scoffed, "You would be as low to lay with that abomination."

"Hey, I can't have you so, I have to settle you know."

Fenris shot her a glare that would drop anyone else dead. Isabella just smirked and winked at him, Hawke looked down at her feet, not wanting to see his reaction.

"Oh, Rivaini you're mouth opens far too much. Let's just go gather everyone else. We'll meet back here in two hours." He grabbed Isabella's arm and pulled her out of the Hanged Man.

They were left alone, and the tension between them was unbearable. She was avoiding his gaze like it was the blight. She took a deep breath and exhaled it, turning her head quickly to face him. He was staring intently, right at her again with that intense cold glare. She winced, and clenched her jaw, they sat staring at each other for what felt like eternity.

Fenris grimaced, shook his head and pushed himself up and started towards the door, he stopped and looked down past her, not meeting her eyes, "I will see you there, unless you do not wish me to go."

Hawke felt like she was punched in the heart, she had no idea how to respond to this. Why would I want you there. You will only ruin my time with your brooding and making me long for you. Of course I want you there, you stupid, silly, beautiful man. She sighed unsure of what to say, "If you want to come, then come. I'm sure the others would like you to be there." Please come, please, she hoped.

He nodded, "Then I will see you there, Hawke." he continued his movement towards the door and walked out.

Hawke finally let out the breath that she was holding during that small exchange, she had no idea that he was in just as much pain she was. If only they both weren't so stubborn.


Fenris hastily walked back to his Hightown mansion, his jaw clenched and eyes fixed straight in front of him.

That woman. Why does she do this to me? It's been three years, THREE YEARS! I still cannot forget her touch, I think of nothing else but her. He pulled the door open and slammed it shut in one swift movement. Returning to his room, he sat by the fire and took a swig of the wine he kept there. Camping, ugh. It's bad enough I must follow her day, by day and now we'll spend 24 hours together. He tightened his eyes closed, he had regretted every day that he had left her. I had to, I couldn't be with her. I…I am not right. There's nothing I can give her, nothing good.

He looked at the table next to him, focusing on a note. He reached over, grabbed it from the table and read aloud, "Your sisters name is Varania, she will be at the Hanged man in a week, and will be there for one week. Don't waste this chance Fenris, you will regret it." He growled and crumpled the paper up, like he had many time over, and threw it in the fire place. I can't…I can't. Danarius will surely be there. Waiting for me. Coming to take back! He threw the bottle of wine against the wall, flew up from his seat knocking it down, and started to destroy his room. He threw anything he could get his hands on, kicked over each chair, and then found his glowing fist punching into the wall. Fenris was out of breathe from thrashing around the room, he just wanted peace but he felt that it was futile. He was terrified of meeting his sister, for so long he had been hell bent on his beliefs. Finding and destroying Danarius would give him satisfaction, but what comes after that he was unsure of, he found comfort in his vengeance and misery. Finding his sister meant finding out about his past, which was a sour thing to him. He had no memories of them, except for that night when he and Hawke…

He winced at the though of her, no pain he had felt from his past was close to this. He had hurt the one person that accepted him, that wanted him around. It was…utterly terrifying to him. Who would really want him around? What good could he possibly do? He sighed, Nothing. I did her no good…She will never forgive me. He slumped down onto the floor and lifted his hand to his face, silently fearing what he felt for this beautiful person, and knowing that she was the only one that could help him. He had to make it right…somehow.


Hawke was packing some things for the vacation that they had planned, she was excited to have some time to just be a normal person, but she wished that this entire thing between her and Fenris were not so prevalent. It clouded her thoughts daily, and tainted anything good that happened. He had found his way into her heart, and then shred it to pieces on his way out. She hated herself for letting him get to her this much.

She jumped with Bodhan knocked on the door, "Sorry to interrupt but you have a message on your desk, it seemed urgent. I just wanted to let you know, meserre."

She nodded, "Thank you, I will take a look on my way out."

Hawke snapped her bag shut, slung it around her shoulders and walked down the stairs, stopping at her writing desk she looked at the note it read, "Fenris would like to speak to you at his mansion." Her heart stopped the second she read his name, she touched the note with her fingers and silently breathed his name. She pursed her lips and inhaled, bracing herself for what this would entail.

"Thank you Bodhan, I will be gone for a day. Please take this time off and watch over the mansion for me." She walked out the door quickly, making her way to his house.

She arrived at his house, and heard speaking other than Fenris, as she got closer to the door she could gather that it was Aveline.

As she walked into the room Aveline rose from her chair and turned around starting for the door.

"You talk to him Hawke, I've had my fill for today." Aveline said plainly and left the mansion.

Hawke was tense, she didn't know what was going on, why Aveline would have been here. She had so many questions, but she waited for him to speak.

"Venhedes fasta vass," Fenris swore and put his hands to the table, looking down.

"Maybe I can help Fenris…"

He quietly growled, "It's my sister. I didn't tell you but I followed up on Hadriana's information. Everything she said was true, I had to keep it quiet but I eventually contacted Varania and sent her coin enough to come meet me here. Now she's here."

Hawke sat and listened intently, watching him as he explained it all, she could tell that this bothered him greatly and wanted nothing more than to help him. What she really wanted to do was go over to him and hug him so tightly, and tell him she'd do anything for him, but she resisted. Whenever their eyes met, she would see that intense stare from earlier, and every time she held in a small shudder.

After admitting that he was afraid it was a trap, Hawke agreed to help, he then confessed to her, "It would mean a lot to me, that's all I ask." He looked right at her, with that look that makes her melt, his eyes begged for her.

Hawke nodded, "Of course Fenris. We will go as soon as we get back tomorrow."

There was a long moment of silence between them as they both took in the emotions swirling between them. It was like a fire blazing around them. This was the first time they had really spoke to each other, and it was only because he needed her help, but she knew it wasn't just that, he needed her because he needed her, he wanted her there. She felt some sort of hope in this situation, maybe he'd get the closure he needs…maybe this will be a new beginning, she thought.

She rose from her chair, "Well…it's about time to meet them. Are…you going to go?"

Fenris looked at her, "Yes…I think I will actually. It might be nice to just get away for a day," he shrugged his shoulders.

They both looked at each other and genuinely smiled at each other for the first time in years. Tonight may not be as bad after all, they both thought.