'If you cannot explain,' Eric says softly. 'I may be forced to reconsider your rank. Or, because you seem to be so attached to your previous faction... perhaps I will be forced to reconsider your friend's ranks. Perhaps the little Abnegation girl inside of you would take that more seriously.'
My first thought is that he couldn't do that, it wouldn't be fair. My second thought is that of course he would, he would not hesitate to do it for even one second. And he is right - the thought that my reckless behaviour could force someone else out of a faction makes my chest ache from fear.
I try again. 'I...'
But it is hard to breathe.
And then the door opens. Tobias walks in.
'What are you doing?' he asks Eric.
'Leave the room,' Eric says, his voice louder and not as monotone.
'No,' Tobias responds instantly. 'I know what she did was stupid, but she's the best initiate we've got.'
'She's foolish, that's what it is,' Eric snorts.
'Granted, she's just a foolish girl.' Tobias agrees. 'So there's no need to drag her here and interrogate her.'
Eric looks thoughtful for a moment, then the corners of his mouth twist into a grimace. I know he's planning something, and the chances are I'm not going to like it.
'Four, I know you want to have trained the first ranked initiate, but she's more trouble than she's worth.' Eric speaks factually, no emotion in his tone.
Tobias sighs. 'You're probably right. I just think it's a shame to give up on her.'
'I'd have thought getting rid of people like her should be a good thing,' Eric says waving a hand in my general direction.
I clench my fists against my sides. They're talking like I'm not stood in front of them. I'm not surprised by Eric, he's as nasty a piece of work as they come, but Four? Tobias? I thought- I don't know what I thought. I can feel the muscles in my back tightening as they're discussing my uselessness. I slam my fist on the table and they both stare at me as if I had just announced I was a sparkly butterfly going to fairy land.
'Are you two even aware that I'm still in the room?' I shout. 'Or am I so insignificant that you don't even care anymore?'
'Tris,' Four sighs, as if he's already become bored with this.
'Well?' I'm still shouting. 'Why don't you just throw me out now if you're so keen to be rid of me?'
Eric's jaw clenches as I yell but I'm past caring.
'You think you're so important don't you? Sitting up here all day long doing NOTHING! Well let me tell you-' I break off as a sharp pain explodes through my jaw. Four punched me, he actually punched me! I take a step backwards and collapse into the chair behind me. Eric is yelling something but I barely register it; my jaw burns violently.
'That is IT Tris!' Eric screams bringing my attention back to him. 'If you want to stay in Dauntless, hell, if you want your friends to stay in Dauntless you will not do a single thing without my say-so!'
I'm vaguely aware of Four's arms wrapping around Eric, he's either restraining him from ripping my head off or hugging him. I find myself not caring in the slightest.
'You are going to have someone with you at all times Tris!' Eric continues screaming.
'Oh, that's your solution to this!' I yell back. 'You're going to get some poor bastard to babysit me!'
'Tris,' Four cautions me.
I ignore him. 'And what poor sucker are you going to assign that privilege to?' I stand up facing him and spit the words out.
He stops struggling against Four and walks backwards away from the both of us. 'That'll be Four's responsibility,' he sneers.
'What?!' Four and I both blurt out.
'You heard me.' Eric grins maliciously.
Four slams his fist on the table, every muscle in his body rigid. 'No.' he spits slowly.
'Oh yes,' Eric's eyes gleam. 'Unless you too have a wish to be factionless, Four, I suggest you manage to keep her under control.'
'This isn't fair!' I protest.
'You should have thought of that before you ran off,' Eric says, his eyes not leaving Four's clenched fist. 'You're not to let her out of your sight for one second. DO you hear me? If she does anything, ANYTHING, like this again you'll be factionless and she'll wish she was, because that'll be a lot nicer than the alternative.' He gives one last sneer and walks around Four giving him a wide berth to the door.
As he passes me I find myself throwing myself towards him only to feel my arms pulled sharply behind my back as Four grabs me around the waist. For a brief moment my heart skips at his touch, then I remember what he did. I lash out trying to free my arms but he's too strong. He steers me towards the door and I have no choice but to let him.
'That's right Four,' Eric grins, 'You keep her in check.'
The door slams shut behind us and I feel Four's grip loosen around my wrists and his arm releases my waist. I take my chance, I turn and punch him as hard as I can. He barely notices; I'm exhausted, too exhausted to hold in any anger. I punch him again but my fist barely makes contact with his chest, I can feel the tears coming. I don't want to cry in front of him. I won't cry! I will not look weak!
'Tris, I'm sorry.' His eyebrows knot together with concern, and the tears start to come.
'How could you...?' Is all I can manage. I try to hit him again but he catches my fist and holds my arm down. His touch is so familiar, so comforting. I hate myself for letting him overpower me, but I can't keep this up.
I take a step back and feel the cold wall prickle against my back until I'm sitting on the floor letting the tears fall; my knees hugged to my chest.
'Tris, I-'
'Don't touch me,' I pull away from him. I want to tell him to leave me alone but I know that would be pointless. 'I thought, I thought that you cared for me, I thought-'
'Tris, I do care! Don't you see, all this, it was to protect you?' his voice sounds strained and high pitched.
I look up at his face. All I can see is Tobias' concern, but with Eric just then he had been a different person. He was Four.
'You don't care, you can either be cruel instructor or concerned boyfriend.' I tense up at the word "boyfriend". I didn't mean to use it so flippantly, but it's too late now. 'You can't just play both parts at the same time.'
His expression changes to one of hurt. 'I'm not cruel, I was trying to protect you. Earlier I was, I couldn't see you going through that Tris, I had to stop it. Then once I had I realised I didn't have a reason, what could I do Tris?' his words were so fast I barely heard them. He was almost pleading. 'You'd never win, not if Peter and his idiot friends found out we were...' he sighs. 'They'd call your rank a mark of favouritism, not a judgement of your skill, they'd... I didn't want you to be the next Edward.' he finishes so softly sitting down in front of me, his right leg stretched out next to me, his left curled beneath him.
I watch his muscles tense with the movement then relax as he sighs deeply.
'And all that with Eric,' he gestures towards the closed door. 'I had to play my part, I had to stop him making you factionless. I wouldn't fancy the life myself.'
I raise my head to meet his eyes frowning slightly. 'You'd still have your job here, you wouldn't be factionless.'
'You really think I wouldn't follow you?' he scoffs lightly and I fell my heart leap.
'You'd come with me?' my voice is barely a whisper.
'Of course I'd come with you, I've followed you off a building, admittedly it wasn't real, but I still jumped.' He speaks with such assurance that I feel fresh tears prickle at my eyes.
'You still punched me,' I say quietly.
He groans quietly and tips his head back squeezing his eyes shut. 'If I hadn't Eric would've. I'm sorry, Tris, I... I didn't know what to do, he would have killed you.' he pinches the bridge of his nose. I can't help but love it when he does that.
'I couldn't let him hit you, I had to do something.'
I find myself smiling through my tears. 'Even if that was hit me yourself?' All those things he'd done, it was only to make Eric mad enough to unknowingly assign me a guardian.
'You're brilliant, you are,' I whisper and lean forward pressing my lips lightly to his. He runs a hand gently over the bruise forming on my chin. I wince at his touch.
'Let's get some ice on that,' he pulls me to my feet and with his hand around my waist to keep me upright he leads me along the corridor.
After a few steps I stop. 'Four?'
'What is it?'
'You did that on purpose didn't you?' I ask leaning further into him.
'Did what?'
'Make Eric force you to be my personal chaperon.'
He laughs, 'it did turn out rather well didn't it?' I've been ordered by the highest authority to not let my eyes leave... Did you call me your boyfriend?'
I smile sheepishly. 'Not exactly, do you want me to?'
'Yes,' he whispers into my hair.
I feel my cheeks burning red as I wrap my arms around him breathing in his comforting scent.
His lips find mine again and very soon the bruise on my chin is all but forgotten, though I notice that he kisses me lightly to avoid hurting it more.
I rest my head on his chest as we walk along to the dormitory. I suddenly realise that this isn't going to work. Aparently he has the same thought.
'When he said at all times, did he actually mean "at all times"?' Tobias asks. 'Because I don't fancy sleeping on the floor of your dormitory with all the rest of the initiates crying themselves to sleep or whatever it is they do.'
I laugh. 'I can't imagine they'd be too keen on scary Four sleeping on the floor either.'
'As far as Eric's concerned you can sleep on my floor?' he suggests and I notice a slight blush creeping up his neck.
'What will I tell the others? I ask as we turn onto another corridor.
'Tell them...' he pauses for thought. 'You can tell them the truth. That you have to be supervised at all times.' he grins the most un-Four-like grin that I've ever seen him grin. I put my hand over my mouth to try and stop the laugh, but instead it comes out as more of a snort followed by a hiccup and me dramatically falling over my own feet.
Tobias takes the opportunity to sweep my feet out from under me. I squeal as I feel his shoulder pressing into my stomach and my face hits into the back of his shoulder blades.
'Four!' I squeal.
'Yes Tris?' he asks innocently.
I smile to myself and relax against the gentle rhythm of his footsteps. 'Nothing.' I concede letting my arms hang down his back.
He stops walking and I realise that we've reached the corridor leading to the Pit, the chances are no one would really notice us but I wouldn't put it past Eric to make sure that we're suffering; there's security cameras everywhere and I doubt that he won't be checking the footage.
'If I put you down are you sure you can walk without falling over?' he asks, his chest rumbling with his voice.
I punch him as hard as I can on his back.
'I'll take that as a yes,' he laughs and sets me down keeping his hands on my shoulders.
I hear him take a deep breath and I find his hand with mine and squeeze it lightly. 'You yell at me, I look scared and pack my stuff, we leave. Easy.' I say trying to convince myself as much as him.
'I'm scared to yell at you again, it hurt last time,' he grins.
'The mighty Four scared of a sixteen year old girl? I don't believe it,' I tease in mock horror. 'Though I am sorry for slapping you.' I add ruefully.
He laughs gently. 'I guess you could say I got payback. But maybe we can stop with the punching now? I would like it if I can see you initiated without either of us having any broken bones.' He drops his hands and I can feel him stiffen next to me as he composes himself.
He is Four now, emotionless and fearless. Not to mention scary as hell.
'let's just this over and done with,' I say quietly and walk towards the door. I'm secretly glad I have an excuse to get out of that room without hurting Christina's feelings. I let my cheeks flare red as Four escorts me through the Pit.
I don't need to look at him to know that he's playing the part of furious instructor well, that is obvious from the amount of people that step out of his way without even the slightest hint at a protest.
We reach the corridor in silence and eventually come to a stop outside the door.
I stop.
'Hurry up,' Four sighs. 'I've got better things to be doing than humouring Eric.'
I clench my jaw and push the door open so that it slams into the wall and springs back so that it would have hit Four if he hadn't caught it.
Thankfully only Christina is there; everyone else must be at dinner.
She looks up as I walk in, a smile on her face. 'Tris!' she exclaims. 'Where have you been? Are you in trouble for punching Four...' she trails off as she sees him leaning against the door frame looking annoyed and impatient.
'I'll explain tomorrow,' I say surprised at how easily it is to make my voice shake as I begin to stuff the few clothes I have into a bag.
'Tris, what's happened?' she asks quietly coming over to join my on the floor by my bed.
'It's a punishment. It's complicated.' I say truthfully. 'I'm fine.' I say reassuring wiping my eyes as if I've been crying. Which I have, so it's fairly convincing.
She leans closer to me. 'What's Four got to do with this?' she whispers.
I open my mouth to make something up but Four cuts me off.
'Hurry up!' He yells, the impatience clear in his voice.
I try and suppress a laugh at the sincerity in his voice but end up coughing out a sound like a strangled cat. Thankfully Christina mistakes my wheeze for something resembling fear. She puts her hand on my arm gently, giving me an encouraging smile.
'I'll be fine,' I say again, glad that I know I'm telling the truth.
'Hurry up, or leave it behind.' Four snaps behind me.
'I'm ready!' I snap back lifting the full bag over my shoulder.
Four's face darkens. 'Eric only ordered me to keep you out trouble. He said nothing about keeping you alive.' his words turn into a snarl as he pulls me from the room.
I manage to throw one last smile to Christina before he pulled the door shut behind us. I follow him silently, glaring at the muscles in his back. I know people are still watching us, but I can't look at them; I know I'd laugh if I did. And Eric would probably kill me for being too happy.
...
It feels like the longest walk of my life from the dormitory to Tobias' apartment; my mind wanders to what everyone will be thinking, the feared Four leading the small Abnegation into his apartment. It can't look good.
I have to cough to stop the laugh creeping up my throat at the situation I've ended up in. It's like a dream. A really weird dream.
I don't realise when Four stops walking and I end up head-butting him in between his shoulder blades.
He lets out a frustrated sound. 'Just get in.'
I sidestep past him through the door, it smells of him, of safety. I hear the door slam shut and I let out a breath that I didn't realise I was holding in.
He leans against the closed door and slides down it until he's sitting on the floor with his back against the door and his knees raised half to his chest.
I drop my bag where I stand and go to sit next to him but he pulls me across his lap. I try to wriggle out of his grasp but there's no point; he's not even trying and he's beating me. He lowers his head and pulls my mouth to his, he pulls back sooner than I would have liked and I feel his eyes studying me.
'I've got a question,' his mouth pulls into a faint smile.
'What?' I ask, puzzled.
'What the hell was that noise earlier?' his face splits into a grin. 'It sounded like you were strangling an owl.'
I snort at the idea. 'I was trying not to laugh,' I say pointedly, but the corners of my mouth twist and he can tell I'm laughing inside.
He's laughing too now. 'You're really bad at keeping a straight face,' he says grinning and kisses me before I can protest.
I loop my arms around his neck as his slide further around my waist. We sit like that for a while until my stomach decides it's bored of this and wants food, rumbling loudly enough for Tobias to hear. He pulls away from me as he laughs.
'You hungry Tris?' he asks grinning, his composure barely holding as my stomach repeats it's request.
I stick out my bottom lip and nod. I don't think I can't remember when I last ate.
'I've probably got something somewhere,' he smiles.
'Thanks,' I say resting my head against his shoulder.
'I am going to have to move to go and get it,' he laughs as I don't move.
'I'll wait,' I say deciding that the effort of moving isn't worth it. My stomach disagrees.
Tobias laughs again and picks me up with him as he stands. A happy comprise.
Somehow he manages to edge a cupboard open with his foot without dropping me. 'I haven't got much I'm afraid, I think Zeke helped himself a while ago and I haven't bothered to re-stock since.' He hoists me up so that he's holding me with one arm, and with the other he picks up a tin of something. 'I have custard?'
I swing my legs and he sets me down next to him. I look at the tin in his hand and shrug. 'Why not?' I open several doors and find a cardboard box of fish fingers. I hold it up to him a questioning look on my face.
'Really Tris, fish fingers and custard?' He looks at me like I'm insane.
'Yes.' I try to keep my face as emotionless as I can.
He rolls his eyes affectionately. 'What am I going to do with you?'
'Make me fish fingers and custard,' I grin mischievously.
Tobias rolls his eyes again and drops several fish fingers onto a grill. I watch them for a second, then get bored and go and sit on the sofa waiting for him to figure out how to make custard.
'Is that how you're supposed to make it?' I ask as he pours hot water into the tin.
'Probably not,' he admits. 'But I've never been big on cooking.'
I grin back at him as he pokes the fish fingers with a fork.
I sit comfortably at the small table dipping my fish fingers in the bowl of warm custard. It's surprisingly tasty. Tobias sits opposite me, his chin resting on his hands and a vague look of amusement plastered onto his handsome features.
'That's extremely off-putting,' I say drinking the last of the custard and trailing a finger around the bowl to get the last bits.
He doesn't reply, he just continues staring at me, the muscles in his arms showing prominently as he leans on them. I find myself smiling, not just at his muscles, but at the whole situation that we're in. I still don't know how it's going to work, I mean if we have to be around each other all the time while pretending we hate each other it'll be tricky. But at the same time it will be fun fooling everyone. Especially Eric.
'What are you smiling at?' he asks lifting his head slightly.
'You,' I smile licking custard off my fingers. 'Me,' I continue. 'How I have to spend the rest of my time until I'm initiated with you.' I can feel butterflies in my stomach when he returns my smile. He smiles the smile that I only see when we're alone, it's the happiest I ever seen him.
He reaches across the table and takes my hands. 'I have something to show you later,' he whispers quietly.
'Why are you whispering?' I whisper back.
'I don't know,' he replies, still whispering. 'I- he stops, thinking about what he was going to say. He opens his mouth to try again but the door swings open slamming violently into the wall. His hands are folded across his chest as he leans back casually in the chair before I even hear the click of the lock.
Eric stands in the doorway, a smug grin on his face. 'Enjoying yourselves?' he asks.
'Haven't you heard of knocking?' Four is back. He glares at Eric with so much loathing in his eyes that the man falters for a second.
'Dauntless leader remember,' he reminds us cheerily. 'I don't have to knock.'
He reminds me of a child that will scream until he gets what he wants, and will then do everything he possibly can to make sure everyone knows he's the most important.
I stare at him intently, he's threatened by Four, that at least is clear. To be fair on him I don't know who isn't, Four is perfect. I admit I may be a little biased in my judgement, but he is.
'So Tris, how are enjoying life with Four?' Eric sneers.
I meet his eyes. A challenge. 'You mean the whole four hours of it?' I say sarcastically, then I shrug. 'It's one up from spending it with you I suppose,' I say as Four stands kicking his chair backwards.
'Ha!' Eric spits taking a small step backwards, fear evident in his eyes.
'Get out,' Four says dangerously.
'No.'
Four takes a step towards him and Eric jumps back.
'I just came to let you know that I've decided to change the rules a bit,' Eric grins, holding his hands out before him as if he's anticipating for Four to punch him. His eyes gleam dangerously. 'If either of you step out of line, even for one moment, you will both become factionless. Instantly.'
Four's muscles tighten across his back and he takes another step towards Eric.
I play my part and jumping to my feet I grab his arm pulling him back.
'Four stop it!' I tell him.
He turns to me and I read his eyes. I catch his fist as he throws a punch at my face.
'I don't care what you do, but I'm not going to let you make me factionless before I've even made it through initiation.' I try and put as much anger in my voice as I can.
He pushes me away and turns back to Eric. 'Get out.' He repeats.
'Willingly,' Eric grins at his anger. 'Sleep well,' he mocks and with that he turns and slams the door shut.
I'm about to say something but Tobias puts his fingers to his lips and walks silently to stand next to the door. He inclines his head slightly gesturing that Eric is still stood there.
'The bastards dented my wall,' he grumbles just loud enough that we both know Eric would have heard. 'Look Tris, I don't like you, and I know you don't like me, but you're not going to make me factionless.' He speaks very matter-of-factly. 'So here's what we're going to do, you are going to become the perfect initiate, you're not going to put so much as a finger where it shouldn't be and you're going to hold your tongue.'
'And what about you?' I ask folding my arms. 'I'm not doing all the work here.'
'I'm going to not make your life a misery, because believe me, Tris. That would be very, very easy.' His voice is so low and threatening I almost believe it. My stomach flips at the tone of his voice.
'Fine.' I try and keep my voice level.
We're both silent as we hear Eric's soft footsteps fade down the corridor.
I sigh deeply rolling my eyes and swinging my arms by my side.
Tobias lets out a small laugh. 'Well at least now he thinks he's the one with an advantage.'
I grin, Eric now thinks we're going to be trying to put up with each other. That not only gives us a reason to not yell at each other, but it'll make him try and break us, by making us spend even more time alone together. How little he knows.
Tobias tried the door handle, it doesn't turn.
'Oh great, he's locked us in,' Tobias groans.
'Can't you unlock it?' I ask.
'I can, but I'm not supposed to be able to. And I'd rather not give away my talent when I don't need to. If he knew I could hack into the security system from my phone he'd start taking more precautions, and it's just not worth the effort,' he grins.
'You are truly amazing,' I smile at him taking his hands in my own.
'I am, aren't i?' He replies smugly and kisses me.
'Vain,' I whisper kissing him back.
He wraps his arms around me as I yawn into his shoulder.
'Tired?' He asks and I nod, my head nestling into the crook of his neck.
'You can have the bed.' He picks me up bridal style and carries me to the bedroom. 'Last time I did this you were unconscious and covered in blood,' he says quietly. 'I'm very glad that's not the case this time.'
I nod sleepily, the last time I woke up in his bed after Peter, Drew and Al tried to kill me. My heart clenches at the thought of Al, but I push all thoughts of him out of my mind.
Four, Tobias, saved me. I smile at the memory before wriggling out of his arms to sit on the end of the bed. I stare at my bag on the floor by the sofa, it's probably three metres away from me, but that's three metres I can't be bothered to walk.
Tobias laughs at my laziness and throws me one of his shirts.
'I'll let you get ready,' he kisses the top of my head and leaves shutting the door behind him. I hear the sound of the kettle and figure he's making himself a hot chocolate.
I love the way he doesn't like coffee, I'm not sure why, but it makes him so adorable. I laugh to myself, I must be the only person in the whole of Dauntless that thinks of Four as adorable.
I pull my shirt off and replace it with Tobias' massive one. I knew he was a lot bigger than me, but the hem of his shirt is halfway down my thighs.
I pull of my boots and jeans and fall back on the bed breathing in deeply. The smell makes me feel safe, it's the smell I remember waking up to after that night. It's the smell of him.
I feel slightly awkward climbing into the bed, he hadn't actually said that I can sleep in it, but I know he wouldn't let me sleep on the floor.
Tiredness soon overcomes my worries and when he comes in later I'm sprawled across the entirety of the bed. I hear him laugh quietly and after a moment of shuffling around he flicks the light off. I feel him gently lifting me over to one side of the bed but I'm asleep enough not to care. The bed dips as he climbs in next to me, the Abnegation part of my brain starts screaming this is wrong but the rest of my brain ignores it. I'm too tired to complain, and I like the warmth from him. I roll over so I'm facing him and I lace my fingers with his.
'Sorry, I thought you were asleep,' he whispers, stroking my hand.
'I am,' I say shuffling closer to him.
The last thing I feel is his arms around my shoulders before I'm dead to the world.
I wake early the next morning to find Tobias still asleep next to me. He looks so peaceful, with his mouth parted slightly and muscles relaxed I see the 18 year old boy who chose this life to escape his father. All traces of the scary instructor gone.
I glance at his watch on the table, I should probably get up and get showered but I don't want to. I'm comfier than I've even been in my life here in his arms.
But there's also the ever present in my mind that Eric will burst in again and find us like this, and although there isn't a written rule saying instructors can't consort with initiates, I'm fairly sure that Eric would write one.
I ease myself out of his arms and get showered and dressed. It feels nice, it feels normal. There's the one awkward moment when I realise that my clothes are still in my bag by the sofa, so I wrap a thick towel around myself and pad quietly across to fetch it. Thankfully Tobias is still asleep so I hurriedly dress, and once I'm ready I decide I should probably wake him up. I lean over him and press a kiss to his lips, almost instantly I feel his arms wrap around my waist and his mouth move against mine.
'Good morning,' he murmurs sleepily.
'Rise and shine,' I sing overly merrily and he groans.
'You in the morning is too energetic a thing,' he complains rolling over away from me.
'No you don't, up you get,' I pull on his arm but he pulls back, harder.
Changing tactics I then grab him and the duvet around his waist and heave them both onto the floor at my feet.
'You're doing well,' I grin.
'Was that really necessary?' He whines from somewhere underneath the pile of duvet.
'It was very necessary,' I reply picking up the duvet leaving him lying awkwardly on the floor.
He props himself up on his elbows and looks at me. 'I'm not overly sure I like you before 9a.m,' he teases.
'What if I make you a hot chocolate?'
He glares at me for a moment longer before a smile spreads across his face.
'Thank you Tris.'
'You're welcome Four,' I reply in the same tune as I leave him to get ready.
He joins me a few minutes later with hair dripping water down his neck. He looks so innocent as he leans on the door frame to watch me pouring hot water into two mugs of chocolate powder.
'No one has ever made me a hot chocolate before,' he says quietly taking the mug from me.
I smile, he's so unlike the Four that everyone else knows.
'It's just a drink you know,' I joke tiptoeing up to kiss him.
He stifles a yawn and kisses me back.
'How did you survive in the mornings without me? You'd still be asleep if I hadn't woken you up.'
'I'll blame you for that,' he replies softly kissing my hair. 'I don't think I've slept so well in years.'
I smile into his chest and sip my hot chocolate being careful not to spill it on him.
'I'll admit it helped that there wasn't anyone crying all through the night. Or, you know, anyone being stabbed in the eye with a butter knife...'
He wraps his free arm tighter around me. 'Is it bad to say that I'm very glad Eric gave me an excuse to get you out of that place. Especially after-' he coughs as he stops himself from speaking the words out loud. especially after Peter tried to kill you.
'I'm very glad you were there that night.' I say simply, speaking both out thoughts.
He kisses my hair as a reply and checks his watch. 'We should probably get going, today's the last day of training before your fear landscape tomorrow.'
I nod in agreement but make no move to pull away from him.
'And remember, we're working together to annoy Eric. You'll be the perfect initiate, and I'll try not to kill him,' he grins.
...
I'm sat in the training room watching Uriah throw a set of knives at the target. He's good, very good. Christina stops punching the bag she was fighting when she notices me.
'I guess I owe you an explanation,' I grin sheepishly as she sits beside me.
'You could say that, yeah. Are you okay? What's happening with you and Four?' Her eyebrows furrow with concern for me. It's almost touching.
'It's Eric's way of punishing me.' I explain. 'I'm not allowed to be unsupervised at any time. And of course he's allocated Four to be the one who had to supervise me. I think Eric's getting some personal revenge on him or something.' Everything I said was true; it just wasn't the whole story.
'That's harsh, even for Eric.' She squeezes my shoulder encouragingly.
'It's not so bad,' I say as though I'm convincing myself. I hope Tobias appreciates my acting here, judging by the look he throws me he's trying not to laugh.
I bite my lip to keep my face straight.
'It's only until I'm initiated tomorrow,' I continue confidently.
'Talk about bravery, being near him scares the hell out of me, I don't know how you can be alone with him,' she tried to joke.
I let out a genuine laugh but I don't contradict her. It's true that he can appear a little scary, okay, if I'm honest he can be absolutely terrifying, but somehow that only makes me feel safer around him.
'Tris, Christina, this isn't a holiday park! Unless you want to be factionless tomorrow I suggest that you make use of your last opportunity to try and get a grip on this life,' Four yells across the room.
Christina jumps up and heads straight back to the punch bag.
I don't respond.
'Tris?'
'Yes Four?' I reply as sweetly as I can.
The corner of his mouth twitches as he fights a smile.
'I will personally have you thrown out of Dauntless if you don't get yourself over here and practice your aim.'
I realise that everyone is now staring at me, I smile sarcastically and try to stop the blush that's creeping up to my cheeks at being the centre of attention.
'If that's all you want,' I reply still keeping my sickeningly sweet facade on. I pick up three knives and aim at the target, the first one hits the edge of the bullseye, and the second sticks next to it.
As I release the third Four shouts my name, the knife hurtles towards his head. The blade drives into the wall centimetres from his head, cutting the edge of his ear ever so slightly.
There's a dreadful silence in the room, then Four raises a hand and pulls the knife from the wall.
I'm incredibly proud of how deeply it has embedded itself in the wall, even if I did just come incredibly close to killing my boyfriend.
He looks at the knife and raises his eyebrows slightly.
'Consider it payback,' I pull my face into a sarcastic smile which he returns.
I think he's about to say something but the door swings open and Eric strolls in. His eyes instantly go to the blood on Tobias' ear and grins.
'Having trouble with your Trissy, are we?'
Both Four and I glare at him venomously. I want to punch him right in the lip-ring, but I stop myself.
Four turns away to collect the knives from the target behind me, as he walks past me he barges into my shoulder. Eric grins sadistically, clearly delighted in our assumed misery.
'Oh, it's the silent treatment, is it?' He continues gleefully.
I'm aware of every eye in the room focused silently on the three of us, confusion, fear and complete amazement written in their faces. It's almost laughable.
I bit my lip hard to try and stop a laugh escaping. If I laugh we're all dead, Eric would probably just explode.
He walks towards me and reaches up a hand to stoke the scar on my ear from that first day when Four threw the knives at my head. I tense but don't push him away.
'It was payback wasn't it.' He raises his eyebrows slightly and tilts my head so I'm looking into his eyes. 'Don't expect any special treatment Trissy,' he says dangerously calmly.
'Oh, I'd have thought that's exactly what I'm getting.' I don't blink. 'What with my own personal chaperon and all that.'
His face twists into a grimace. 'Just you watch what you say, it would be incredibly easy for me to make you factionless. So watch it. If you remember I'm only doing this because your pathetic instructor over there doesn't want to lose his number one initiate.'
I don't reply.
Peter makes some sort of noise that suggests he disagrees with my new title. No one pais him any attention.
I can see Four out of the corner of my eye leaning on the target, his head on his left arm, the knives clenched tightly in his right.
Eric follows my gaze and I can see the fear behind his eyes. He knows Four could kill him, and as much as he wants to make us suffer I can tell he wants to do so with as little risk to his own wellbeing.
Eric pushes me away and I stumble back only just keeping my balance.
I glare at him, but he's watching Four. Tobias walks past me and shoves the knives into my hands, I can tell he's angry, really angry. He doesn't want to have anything that might make it easier to kill Eric.
Eric can see the anger in Four's eyes and he visibly cowers.
'Well, I need to get going now,' Eric lets out a nervous laugh. 'It's been- bye'
He practically runs out the room leaving a shocked silence.
I let out a frustrated yell and one of the knives in my hands embeds itself deeply in the door Eric just closed. At the same time Four punches one of the bags with so much force that it rips from it's support and smashes into the wall.
For a moment he looks impressed by his own strength then turns slowly to watch the knife sticking out the door.
Everyone's eyes turn to me. I can feel the blood rushing up to my cheeks, part in anger, part in embarrassment.
'Someone annoyed the stiff,' Peter whispers quietly but in the silence of the room he may have shouted it.
'Get out!' Four snaps, his eyes not leaving mine.
'Bu-'
'I SAID GET OUT!' Four spins round to face him, no trace of the Tobias I woke up to on his face.
Peter practically trips over himself trying to get out the room as quickly as he can.
I watch Four take a deep breath and force himself to relax.
'I suggest the rest of you take the rest of the day off,' he says with a forced calm.
'Can we stay here if we want?' Uriah asks cautiously.
'I honestly don't care what you do. Just don't break anything.' He looks at the destroyed punch bag on the floor. 'And someone clear that up.'
He walks to the door and opens it, pausing the door way. 'Tris?'
I drop the other two knives on a table and follow him throwing one last glance at Christina.
...
Tobias doesn't say anything as I follow him out of the compound, I don't know where he's going but I trust him so I follow him onto the train, gladly accepting his arm as he pulls me into the carriage.
Once safely on he presses his back into the wall and lets out a relieved laugh. I laugh too, I don't think I'd ever seen Eric look scared of anything and he had been practically trembling.
He sits on the cool floor and I squeeze between his arms, curling up next to him.
'I think Eric's realised that once you're initiated into Dauntless there's nothing to stop us giving him a little bit of payback,' he smiles. 'If he thinks we're working together he'll be absolutely petrified.'
I smile. 'You know you were a little scary back there.'
He pretends to be offended. 'Only a little?'
'Where are we going?' I ask eventually, my curiosity getting the better of me.
'You'll see,' he replies cryptically.
I roll my eyes and shift so I'm half sat on his leg leaning against his chest, he pulls me closer to him and rests his chin on the top of my head.
I think I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know he is gently shaking me awake.
'We need to move now, this is where we get off,' he says gently and hoists me off his lap to stand up.
He leaps smoothly from the train and I follow him with only a small stumble.
'Can you tell me where we're going now?' I plead hanging off his arm like a child.
He laughs and spins me round, so his arm is across my shoulders. 'we're going for a walk.'
I wrap my arms around his waist and fall easily into step beside him. It feels so perfect.
I didn't even know there was a wood out here, but I'm glad Tobias did. It's beautiful, it's so alive. A place untouched by the factions, where you didn't have to live up to expectations or conform in anyway. A small part of my brain wonders why the factionless don't live here, surely they could find food and shelter. I shake them from my head, today is about Tobias and I.
As we walk we talk, about everything and anything. About life in Abnegation before we chose dauntless, about out aptitude tests, about our fears. He admits that despite his reputation I'm the first girl he's even kissed. I almost don't believe him, but there's something in his eyes that say it's true. As well as the fact that I think every girl in Dauntless is too scared of him to ask him out.
He tells about his Dauntless training, about the instructor that helped him keep his Divergence a secret.
I don't notice as it begins to get dark until I realise that I can no longer see the trees around us.
'Do you know where we are?' I ask uncertainly.
He doesn't reply but leads me forward. I let him.
We break through the cover of the trees and I realise where we are, the Ferris wheel looms ahead of us, the empty carts swinging gently in the breeze.
'You planned this?' I almost gape.
I can feel him nodding.
'It's almost romantic,' I tease and he punches me lightly on the shoulder.
'I can do the whole boyfriend thing sometimes,' he defends.
'You mean when you're not punching me, or throwing knives at me head,' I grin.
'Me? You were the one throwing knives at my head this morning,' he puts his arms around my waist lifting me.
I protest loudly, trying to wriggle free but it's to no avail. He laughs and spins around so my legs fly out in front of me. I find myself laughing too, today has been the first day since that aptitude test that I've felt completely carefree. Here in Tobias' arms I feel safe and cared for.
'Getting a bit dizzy here,' he calls out and I feel him stumble and all of a sudden I'm lying on him laughing that the great Four tripped over his own feet. He's laughing too and I roll over and kiss him. It just feels so perfect. There is no other word to describe it. Perfect.
'I'll race you to the top,' I challenge grinning wickedly.
'You wouldn't...'
I would. I laugh and run off to the ladder and begin climbing.
'You'll pay for this,' he calls after me. Though it's not long before I feel his hands catching hold of the rungs as my feet leave them.
I laugh, 'next time I'm taking you zip-lining.'
'No, no way! You wouldn't dare.'
I laugh again as I reach the cross section sliding over to sit on the edge like I did all those nights ago.
He stays with his back pressed to the ladder for a moment but eventually he slowly edges forward so he's sat next to me, but he pulls his knees to his chest instead of having them hanging over the edge.
'How are you not scared of this?' He asks almost in awe. 'Last time you climbed up here you nearly died.'
'But you saved me,' I remind him bumping him lightly on the shoulder. 'You always seem to do that.'
'I do don't I?' He takes a deep breath and takes my hand in his, lacing his fingers with mine.
'I love this place,' I say quietly. 'This is where I first saw you for who you really are- a person who's scared of heights, and who would still climb to the top of a Ferris wheel simply to accompany an idiot with an idea.'
He smiles, 'do you know why I followed you?'
I shake my head slightly.
'I followed you because I could see you were special, and it terrified me that I thought you were going to climb it on your own.' His voice is so soft, so calming. 'And I followed you because I wanted to be near you.'
I stare at him. I still don't understand why he would want to be with me, but hearing him say those words makes me melt inside.
'And you know something? Up here, this, this is where I realised that I- this is where I fell in love with you.' He looks so shy, so vulnerable.
'I love you Tris, I know it's-'
'I love you too,' I say, tears bristling in my eyes, interrupting him before he says anything else.
His face splits into a relieved smile. 'I love you three.'
'I love you Four,' I whisper and as he laughs he meets my mouth with his. His hand cupping my cheek, mine rest on his hips.
He slides his legs out so they are hanging over the empty air, his other hand let's go of mine to pull me closer and I practically kneel up pressing myself as close to him as possible.
I have never felt this way before, so... In love. I don't know what else to call it. I love him, I love Four, Tobias, I love him. He protects me, he makes me better. He makes me stronger.
When we break away I rest my forehead against his breathing heavily.
'You're sitting, over the edge,' I say quietly.
'I know,' he replies not breaking eye contact. 'You make me feel braver, you make me stronger. I would follow you anywhere Tris, even it was a cardboard box hanging from the sky with my- with him there with us.' He laughs lightly. 'Im not scared when I'm with you.'
I don't know what to say, so I don't. I kiss him lightly and lean my head against his chest. Behind us the wind picks up slightly and the metal creeks in protest.
'Everything I just said still stands, but do you think we could maybe climb down now?' He asks, the smallest amount of fear present in his voice.
'I'm still going to get you zip-lining,' I grin though I doubt he can see it in the dark.
'Maybe.'
'That's better than 'no',' I tease and follow him down the ladder thankful that all the rungs stay where they're supposed to this time.
...
It's almost 1 am by the time we eventually drop down into the net, I take Tobias' arm and pull myself upright. I turn to walk inside but I can see a figure blocking our way. Eric.
My heart drops.
'Where do you think you two have been?' He asks sounding like my father when I'd done something wrong.
Tobias doesn't reply so I speak up. 'I needed to clear my head. And seeing as I can't leave the compound on my own Four had to come with me.'
Eric raises an eyebrow slightly but he doesn't question it. 'You know you have your fear landscape tomorrow, well, today,' he really does sound like my father.
'I know, that's why I needed some space.'
Eric isn't listening anymore, his gaze is resting on Tobias, a glint of confusion in his eyes. Eric's eyes flick from Tobias to me, and back to Tobias.
Something dawns in his eyes, I frown slightly and turn to look at Tobias who drops his gaze away from me as soon as I look at him.
I turn back to Eric who looks like he's just seen a ghost. Or a giant moth with three heads that breaths fire.
'Hello?' I ask. No response. 'Alright then.'
Still nothing.
I turn back to Tobias whose gaze is locked with Eric's but not in the usual defiant way. Something clicks in the back of my mind, I think I understand what he's doing but I'm not sure.
'You can see me right?' I ask again, as if I'm oblivious.
'Tris, I need to speak to Four for a moment,' Eric says, a tone I don't recognise in his voice.
'I thought I wasn't allowed anywhere alone,' I reply folding my arms.
'Just- just go sit in the middle of the net for a moment.' Eric waves me off vaguely.
I sigh but comply and crawl back onto the net. I lay down staring up at the stars and listen to the conversation Eric thinks I won't be able to hear.
'You like her don't you!' Eric whispers with almost an excited tone.
Tobias doesn't reply.
'Oh come on, I'm one of the few people that knew you before you were Four, I can see the way you look at her.' Eric presses him.
'Fine, okay, I admit it. Happy now?' I hear Tobias reply.
I smile, he's playing his part well.
'It makes everything make more sense, why you didn't want her kicked out.'
I can imagine the smug grin on Eric's face.
'Does she know?'
'She will if you don't keep your voice down,' Tobias almost snaps back.
'I'm not an expert on this... But judging by the knife she threw at your head this morning, I don't think she feels the same,' the mockery drips from his voice.
'I know,' Tobias sounds so defeated, it almost breaks my heart.
The stars twinkle above me. It's beautiful.
Eric gives a small laugh. 'Who knew it would be a stiff to break through the emotionless Four,' he jokes, he almost sounds friendly.
'She's special,' Tobias says so quietly I almost don't hear it. 'She's like no one I've ever met.'
I wonder if he knows I can hear them.
'You've got it bad mate,' Eric laughs and judging by the following sound slaps him on the shoulder.
'Seriously, can you keep it down,' Tobias shushes him and I can't hear the rest of what's being said.
I watch the stars as they glitter in the night's sky. I always find it strange to think about how small we must be in the sheer quantity of the universe.
The net dips as Tobias leans over to help me climb out. 'We're done talking, let's get you some sleep before your fear landscape.'
We follow Eric back inside and Tobias awkwardly says goodnight as Eric heads off towards his apartment and I follow Tobias inside his.
'We used to be friends you know,' Tobias says quietly as he pulls his shirt off.
I force my eyes to his face as I try to look like I'm listening to him.
'I can't imagine him, not as he is now,' I say and frown at the lack of sense I made.
Tobias laughs knowingly. 'Yeah, he used to be a half decent guy. Then he got competitive, and well.' He sighs. 'I think sometimes he wants to go back to who he was before, but he's built up this persona for himself and he doesn't feel like he change now.'
'You can be surprisingly deep you know,' I say not knowing what else to.
'This is a treat, just for you,' he grins leaning over the bed to kiss me.
I smile into the kiss then lie back on the bed. I'm wearing his shirt again, it feels nicer than my own pyjamas. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm asleep, and dreaming of sitting on the ferris wheel with his arms around me.
I wake to the smell of warm chocolate and sitting up I can see Tobias mixing two mugs of hot chocolate. By the way he's humming to himself I guess he hasn't figured I'm awake yet.
I smile to myself and as silently as I can I crawl out of bed and tiptoe across the room.
He remains oblivious to my movement, absorbed in the song playing in his head.
'Morning,' I call out smiling.
He spins round so quickly he knocks one of the mugs off the side, the contents emptying itself all over my bag of clothes that I still haven't got round to moving.
I laugh at the panic on his face as he picks up the chocolatey t-shirts.
'You made me jump,' he says in defence.
'I noticed,' I say sliding my arms around his neck, I like it when he bends down, he's much closer to my height. 'Don't worry about it.'
He smiles and kisses me on the nose. 'I was going to surprise you with a morning hot chocolate, I guess I surprised your clothes.'
'I've got the jeans I was wearing yesterday, and... I might need to borrow a shirt.' The one I was wearing got fairly muddy when he dropped me.
'That won't look strange at all, you wearing my clothes.' He laughs. 'Good luck convincing everyone that there's nothing between us.'
'Oh don't pretend you're not proud of yourself with all that stuff with Eric last night,' I tease as he searches for a t-shirt that wouldn't look like a dress on me.
'It was a good move wasn't it?' He says with a smirk.
I roll my eyes and drink my hot chocolate quietly. He reappears with a DPM shirt which he throws at my face.
'Try that, I don't think it fits me anymore.'
I do, and with my black jeans and combat boots I don't look too bad. I look very dauntless. The shirt's neck is slightly lower than I'd like, but with a small not in the side it shapes me well. I look less like a 12 year old, and I could almost pass for 16. Almost.
He wiggles his eyebrows when he sees me.
'I should spill stuff on your clothes more often,' he says wrapping his arms around me from behind. 'Come on, let's get this over with.'
...
I stand with the others waiting to go through my landscape. Christina raises her eyes at my shirt. 'I don't remember that one.'
Of course she knows the entire contents of my wardrobe. She's probably bought more than half of it for me.
'It's Four's,' I explain awkwardly.
She raises her eyebrows, 'why are you wearing his clothes?' but thankfully, she's too concerned to pick up anything else about it.
'He ruined all of mine.' I whisper in the silence that follows someone entering their fear landscape. I think it's Peter.
'How did he ruin them?' She whispers back. 'Never mind, I'll take you shopping as soon as we're through and are officially Dauntless.' She flashes a smile and I find myself smiling back.
As soon as I'm a initiated Dauntless member Tobias and I will no longer have to keep our relationship quiet, and he won't be obligated to follow me around and keep me in check.
I have a feeling that he still won't let me out of his sight, but at least he'll be doing it because he cares, not because he's being forced to.
Christina and I fall silent as her turn approaches. Then she's walking through the door.
And I wait.
They've all been through now, it's just me left.
Someone calls good luck but I don't know who, I feel sick.
I walk forward but someone calls my name.
'Tris!'
I turn and see Four standing a few feet away from me breathing heavily. My brain clicks, for someone so sheltered he definitely likes performing.
'Four,' I say quietly as if I don't know what's happening.
He takes two quick steps so he's stood next to me and takes my face in his hands, I feel his mouth on mine and I can feel the fear leaving me.
Someone wolf whistles as I grab the nape of his neck, trying to take as much courage from him as I possibly can.
He finally breaks away looking embarrassed.
'I just wanted you to know,' he says just loud enough for everyone to hear and then he turns and leaves.
I want to laugh at the stunned faces of the Dauntless leaders, but I knew he wasn't just doing that for their reaction, he knew I needed the strength. My heart swells with love as I feel the stab of the injection in my neck.
I hear Eric say 'Good luck' before my surroundings change. This is it.
...
I'm in the field with the long grass, the crows. But I don't feel the fear burning through me like last time, I feel the burn of four's lips on my own and I feel the cool metal of the gun in my hand. I didn't even have to imagine it, I know it's there.
A small smile creeps onto my face as I hear the cawing. I can do this, I'm not scared. Four's voice reverberates around my head as I level the gun with the first crows. 'I fell in love with you... I love you Tris.'
I love you too I think as the gun sounds and the crows fall out of the sky. Some make it through the bullets and I scream in pain as they claw into my skin, but I fight them off. I imagine Four beside me, shooting them down and they start to fall without me shooting them. I laugh, I helped him in his fear landscape, and now unknowingly he's helping me in mine.
The crows disappear and I feel myself crammed into the glass case. The water trickling in at my feet. I close my eyes, I know this isn't real. I love you Tris. The walls are made of ice, they'll break. I barely have to tap the glass for it to shatter and I fall through into my next fear, the drowning.
I don't feel the cold water, only the warmth of Tobias' arms around me. I barely register as it changes again, and again. I fly through my fears knowing that Tobias will always be there for me. The faceless men are fought off by my invisible Tobias', and the rain comes instantly when Peter has me tied to a stake.
I loose count, but I think my sixth fear rolls around and I find myself face to face with my family. I know I have to shoot them; the gun is already in my hand. You can do this Tris, it isn't real. I'll love you whatever. I raise the gun, and the images of my family merge into one. They become him, they become Tobias. I cannot shoot him, however unreal it is, I can't do this. My heartbeat begins to quicken. I can't shoot the one thing that keeps me strong. By becoming my strength I realise he has also become my weakness, the way to get to me.
NO.
I refuse to shoot him. I raise the gun to my temple.
'It's okay Tris, I understand. Just shoot me,' Simulation Tobias says softly.
I love you I think to myself. I can't shoot you. 'I love you!' I shout as I pull the trigger. I hear a click, and I'm stood in the empty room. I did it, I made it through. I breathe heavily. I actually did it.
The door opens and Eric, Tobias and some other people I don't know walk in. Tobias gives me a smile and it suddenly dawns on me that I just shouted my love for him in front of all the leaders. I blush instantly, my heartbeat racing faster than it ever did during the simulation.
'Congratulations Tris, you made it through the third stage.' He smiles, almost warmly. 'Four you should be very happy.' He stresses the word 'very' with a suggestive wink. Tobias looks at him strangely and I realise that he wouldn't have seen the simulation. Only my reactions to it. I'm half thankful.
'It seems you weren't a lost cause after all Trissy,' Eric continues gleefully winking at me again.
'Am I missing something here?' Tobias asks, his Four voice is back on as he glares at Eric.
'I refused to shoot you.' I say quickly before Eric can get a word in.
'I'm sorry?'
He knows exactly what I'm talking about but he's going to play it out. I narrow my eyes at him just enough for him to bite back a laugh.
'In the simulation, I had to shoot you. But I wouldn't.' I say trying to play my part even half as well.
'Why?' he asks quietly, the hope on his voice so clear despite him trying to make it sound nonchalant. Damn he's a good actor.
In reply I take four quick steps towards him and pull his mouth down to mine. He smiles into the kiss and wraps his arms around my waist like it's the first time i'd ever kissed him.
Behind us Eric gives an impatient cough and we both pull apart, blushing. 'That's why,' I whisper, just loud enough for Eric to hear.
'Can we move along maybe?' Eric asks hurrying us out the room. 'The banquet is in two hours, your ranking will be announced then.' his tone lightens slightly. 'And, well, I can tell you have things you want to do.'
the blush comes back. To both of us.
Tobias steers me out of the room, 'so I heard a rumour that you only had six obstacles to face, practically unheard of.'
'I wasn't really counting,' I admit. 'But it will suffice.'
He laughs, 'I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't ranked first. You flew threw that like you didn't have a care in the world.'
I smile and stick close to him avoiding as many of the cheers as I can. A few people clap me on the back congratulating me. I smile politely but I want to be alone, alone with Tobias so I can tell him about the landscape.
I can't see Christina or Will anywhere and I guess they're waiting for me the dormitory.
'Does the 'me not being allowed to be alone' thing still stand?' I ask hinting at what I want.
He loops his arm over my shoulders. 'I suppose it does,' he gives a mock sigh. 'You'll just have to stay with me won't you?'
I can tell he's grinning. It's infectious.
...
He closes the door behind us and slips off his shoes. I can't be bothered to unlace mine as I flop on the sofa. He sits next to me and I shift my feet onto his lap.
'I'm not a cushion,' he complains poking me in the leg.
'You shouldn't be so comfortable then,' I retort sitting up and shuffling forward so my legs stretch across his.
He laughs, 'how did you do it though? Stay so calm throughout that? It was remarkable.'
i nestle my head in the crook of his neck. 'You were there with me. Through it all, I could hear your voice. I knew that you'd always be there for me, so you were. I don't really understand it, but somehow the idea of you was fighting off my fears for me.' I have no idea how it worked, but I'm so glad that it did.
He doesn't reply for a moment and I worry that I said something wrong. I lift my head and meet his eyes, he's looking at me with such a pure expression. His eyes are shining with unshed tears, such love and admiration in his face that I find myself biting back tears of my own.
'Don't tell me I'll finally see Four cry,' I tease, a slightly hysterical laugh escaping my lips.
He blinks quickly and fits his mouth to mine, I raise my hands to cup his face and I feel that his cheeks are wet, as are my own. I laugh at us, and he laughs too. Tears running down my cheeks, I'm not sure if I'm laughing or crying.
He wipes a hand across his face. 'You are amazing Tris, I feel alive when I'm with you. You're the best thing in my life.' he kisses my tears away and I find more replacing them.
I think I'm crying from relief that it's over, love for Tobias and fear for the rankings. I laugh again and kiss him back.
'Do you want a hot chocolate?' He asks and I nod laughing.
'That's your solution to everything isn't it?'
'Yeap, it's like a hug in a mug,' he grins as he shifts my legs so he can stand up. 'They've never failed me yet.'
...
I make my way to the table I share with Will and Christina and out of the corner of my eye I watch him take his place next to Zeke, his Four mask is back on now after two hours of talking, laughing and in my case, dozing.
'Where did you go?' Christina asks as I sit down. 'We all went back to the dormitory.'
'Four wouldn't let me out of his sight,' I say weakly.
'Why?' Will asks innocently, oblivious to the past few days.
'After I punched him I've been... I wasn't allowed to go anywhere without his supervision.' I explain, giving him Eric's version of the story. I'm not entirely sure how to break the news to them that I'm now in a relationship with the terrifying Four.
'Ouch, that's rough,' he sympathises pulling his face into a frown.
'Did one of your fears have something to do with him?' Christina asks quietly. 'Only during your simulation Eric threw him a weird look, the last one I think. I couldn't tell what it meant.'
I can tell she's concerned about how he's been treating me but I don't know what to tell her, I don't want to lie, for one she'd see right through me. I'm surprised she hasn't already if I'm honest.
Thankfully, I'm saved from answering as a microphone squeals somewhere and Eric begins talking. I pretend to switch my attention to him to avoid answering her question but I'm not listening to a word he says.
I'm not entirely sure what I am thinking about, but it's only when I hear thunderous cheering around me that I finally switch my attention to Eric as he announces the rankings will appear behind him.
The screen lights up and next to the big number one I see my picture and the word 'Tris'
i scan through the rest of the names, 'Will' and 'Christina'. We made it. We all did.
Everyone's cheering, Will hugs me and so does Christina, then Uriah. But I'm only looking for him.
I feel a tap on my shoulder and Christina gasps lightly. I turn sharply and see Four standing there his arms crossed. He leans towards me. 'Do you think giving you a hug would give it away?' He grins with an inclination of his head to Christina and Will watching us suspiciously.
'Almost definitely,' I say with a mock seriousness.
'Good,' he envelopes me into a crushingly tight hug and my lips find his. My hands curling tightly in his hair. It feels so right, so perfect. He fits with me perfectly, and I memorise him, I know exactly what he feels like against me.
I pull away eventually, breathing deeply. I kiss him again, less intensely. He gives a short laugh and I turn to see Christina and Will staring at us, both their mouths wide open.
I guess I have a lot of explaining to do.
I entwine my fingers with his and lead him to one side, dragging Christina with us. I know Will shall follow us.
'Tris?' Christina asks in an 'I want an explanation, and I want it now' tone that my mother used to use when I'd done something I knew I shouldn't.
I pull a sheepish face. 'The thing is...' I trail off not knowing where to start.
Tobias laughs behind me and Christina visibly jumps at the sight of the sullen Four showing emotion.
I elbow him in the stomach, and curse as I realise I forgot how solid his muscles are.
'Ow,' he complains though I know it can't have hurt him at all.
I roll my eyes. 'Basically, umm... I... I just don't even know. one moment he was sadistic instructor throwing knives at my head, and then he... He just wasn't.' I try to explain as Christina raises an eyebrow uncertainly at Tobias who doesn't even have the decency to pretend to be offended. 'Eric's punishment just meant that I got to know him better, and I ...'
'I love her,' Tobias fills in, his deep voice sending shock waves through my body.
Christina's frown disappears and she squeals. 'This is brilliant!'
It takes me so long to process what she's said that I miss most of the rest of what she's saying. Something about shopping or... shopping. I don't know, that's usually what she's talking about.
Will is still staring at me like I'm insane. 'Tris, really? I mean Four!'
'Yes, Four.' I reply with a laugh as Tobias buries his head in my neck swaying me slightly from side to side. 'He's perfect'
and I really believe it. Everything's perfect. I'm in Dauntless, I have the perfect boyfriend and I'm Dauntless' first ranking initiate. Life couldn't get any better.
...
I hope you liked it, and I'd love to hear what you think :)
