AN: I know I shouldn't be writing this while having other fics pending, but I was inspired after reading a Harry Potter fanfic just the other day… well at first it was just a snippet from a thought about making a crack fic where instead of Harry's scar being on his forehead, it'd be on his bum. But anyway from all the what if's this chapter came about, and I really do have a bleeding heart over Severus Snape so tadah! A fanfic was born.

AN-2: Anyway, on another note I'm making "Harry" a nickname for "Hadrian". I really don't like the name Harry, its just so… plebian (no offense to any Harry's out there) and common, moreso than my own name. (I mean it; how many times have I heard my name being called only to realize that the person next to me or nearby me was the one being called, it's maddening.)


Lily Potter (née Evans) bustled about her kitchen while keeping track of her now thirteen months old child, she thought back to just three weeks ago they celebrated her little boy's first birthday.

It wasn't as grand as she had wanted for her son, but every member of the order who had attended tried to make it worthwhile with a pile of gifts. As flattered as she was over the well wishes, there was no denying that beyond the walls a war was raging on.

A happy squeal followed by exaggerated bubbling sounds brought Lily out of her gloomy musing, and drew her gaze to her little Hadrian, Harry for short – at the insistence of her husband, he was cooing over his stuffed cauldron that made bubbling sounds every time he squeezed it. It was half his size and he could barely carry it around on his own but it was his favourite, much to the chagrin of James and Sirius. It brought a smile to her face whenever she recalled James and Sirius' expressions.

Once more Lily thought of Harry's first birthday.

Harry was once again laughing at his father, James had tried and failed to get his son to say daddy or dada as his second word – his first being "No" unfortunately it seemed like the toddler knew quite well how to use the word.

Looking around, Lily felt quite grateful for the lighthearted atmosphere that her son seemed to bring out, the present order members were obviously weary of the war but for just this moment most of them had a smile, if not full out laughing at her husband being told "No" by their son.

"I think Harry is doing it on purpose." Remus said as he came to stand by Lily, to watch his best friend Sirius join in the 'get Harry to say his second word' game with James.

"Most likely, he's a smart boy but also very cheeky. He understands more words than he lets on, but it's like he refuses to say them. I'm not sure if it's because he finds it funny that we try to get him to say anything other than no, or if he only talks when we're out of earshot."

"Well he is the son of a marauder, I wouldn't be surprised if this is a toddler's version of a prank."

Whatever Lily's reply was going to be was lost as Sirius exclaimed that it was present time, obviously exasperated at the toddlers many No's.

Many of the presents were things that they needed, especially now that James and Lily were in hiding, but many also gave toys along with the essentials. But it seemed little Harry hadn't found a favourite yet in the mound of toys around him. Well he hadn't until one Albus Dumbledore came forward with another gift that he said had come from one Horrace Slughorn, whom had overheard that it was his favorite student's firstborn's birthday.

Ignoring the teasing of Sirius about being a member of the Slug Club, Lily politely thanked the headmaster and asked him to pass on her thanks to her former potions professor. Kneeling down in front of her child, she began unwrapping the present for him. Pulling out a stuffed cauldron that was done in slytherin colours, chaos ensued as her husband and Sirius began kicking up a fuss over it. She ignored them in favor of watching her son interact with the new toy, pressing it before hugging it to himself thus earning him a bubbling sound that lasted for a short moment. Her son squealed – apparently he'd found his favorite toy. Lily was enraptured just like several others in the room – not including her husband and Sirius – with Harry playing with the stuffed cauldron. Well she was enraptured until she caught wind of a loud slur followed by the name 'Snivellus.'

Harry hugged his toy as much as his short arms could, as he watched his 'mama' stomp over to his 'dada' and 'paddy' they were loud and getting louder. Several times they pointed to his toy and Harry couldn't make out what they were saying, not that he was paying much attention. Until his 'paddy' marched over and took his new toy from him and said something that got his mother to scream at him about a 'Severus.'

None of the other adults seemed to notice that the toddler was distressed over the loss of his toy – they were too absorbed in watching the argument, he crawled closer to his 'mama' hearing her say "His name is Severus" as she grabbed his new toy from his 'paddy' but still didn't give it to Harry. Several more minutes of hearing Severus and grabbing of his toy, Harry finally had had enough.

A wail of "SEV'US" (AN: pronounced with the "sev" of several and the "us" of rust) brought the entire room's attention back to the toddler.

The three adults stood stunned as the child just kept wailing "Sev'us" while reaching as much as his little hands could toward the stuffed cauldron. When tears started pouring from the distressed child, Lily finally got aver her shock and knelt down to hand over the stuffed toy. Which Harry immediately hugged to himself, hiccupping "Sev'us" between sobs.

An awkward and tense silence fell over the room, only broken when little Harry began laughing and squealing at the cauldron's bubbling sounds again. Though now it was accompanied by shouts of "Sev'us" from time to time.

Looking at the dismayed faces of her husband and Sirius – they had just realized Harry's second word was the name Severus – and all Lily could do was laugh and say "Serves you right."

Thinking about her once best and childhood friend, Lily couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. She worried for him, even if rumor had it that he was on the other side of the war. But she couldn't help it, feeling that if she were a better friend then maybe she could have prevented his decent into the dark arts. If only she had known sooner about his problems at home and at school…

Looking at her son as he proudly showed her his stuffed cauldron that he took to calling "Sev'us" she wondered how it would have been to still have her best friend and how he would have taken to her son.

Feeling sentimental, if not a bit rebellious, Lily set about to write some letters and called a house elf.


Severus sealed himself into his potions lab, his entire form trembling as he curled in on himself. Clutched in his hand was a letter that was written in a familiar script that he'd always treasured.

For so long had he pushed aside his memories of the past, his longing for forgiveness, but now that he had what he could only call proof of said forgiveness he had just unknowingly committed the ultimate betrayal.

It had been a year since that fateful day of Trelawny's interview turned prophecy foretelling, a year since he had practically told the Dark Lord to kill a defenseless child. A year he had been dreading once he found that there were only two infants "born as the seventh month dies"

But he knew, just knew, the only one his Lord would look to would be his beloved Lily's son. And that fool Dumbledore and his witless lapdogs Potter and Black wouldn't have taken his words seriously; no matter how much he had begged the headmaster to save her, Lily wouldn't be safe until the dark lord was gone.

As gentle as he could Severus brought the letter up once more to bask once more in the words of his beloved, even if it was only just ink on parchment.

Dear Sev,

How have you been?

Honestly I am not sure how to talk (well write in this case) to you once more. It's been so long since the last we had even seen each other.

I hope you could forgive me for my childishness during our Hogwarts years; I actually had forgiven you long ago. I've been friends with you for years, of course I know of your nasty temper and the venomous words that you say but never mean, even so I kept my distance if only because it would keep James and Sirius away from you but I did it mostly because I didn't want you to be ostracized by your new friends like Mulciber and the rest. Neither of us paid much mind over our difference of house but that didn't mean the rest of the student body did.

But I digress.

I bet you wonder what inspired this letter – especially now that there's a war going on – it was actually my little Hadrian. You'd be quite pleased to know that his second word was actually your name, which he calls his bubbling cauldron plush (his favourite toy) much to James and Sirius' chagrin.

As I write this letter, I watch my Hadrian squeal your name as he hugs his cauldron plush, it makes me wonder how he would act in your company. I had wanted to invite you to Hadrian's first birthday but Dumbledore said you're in a precarious position; I am unsure what he meant however I worry for your safety in this time of war.

I'm sorry Severus, I had wanted this letter to be up lifting but it seems that I am also affected by these dark times. Still I wish you well and hopefully I can one day introduce you to my Hadrian, I feel you two would have gotten along since despite James and Sirius best effort my little boy takes mostly if not wholly after myself – evident in his interest with infant puzzles and story time, rather than the toddler's Quidditch set James and Sirius keep trying to make him play with.

I have one more purpose in writing Severus.

I know when we were still students you hated divination, however I ask you keep an open mind. Because I'm afraid, deathly so, I feel that some day soon the days I have to watch my son play on the carpet will soon end.

Please Severus, don't leave my child alone.

As much as I respect Dumbledore, something tells me not to trust my son with him. His "greater good" is not what is good for my little Hadrian. Call it a mother's instinct or paranoia if you will but please don't leave my son in the hands of the headmaster, I fear that if something were to happen to myself and James then Hadrian would end up in the care of my sister and her horrible husband. She called him a freak and said he should be drowned, I'm not sure if she would actually do so but I'd rather not risk it.

This letter has spiraled, I'm sorry Severus, I've let my quill run away. There is so much that I want to say and ask but there's no time to do so. Not to mention that I very much doubt that any reply you send would never reach me where I am.

I hope this letter reaches you well.

Your friend,

Lily Evans-Potter

"I'm so sorry Lily" was all Severus could say as he curled in on himself, but he swore that he would protect his beloved's son to his last breath.


~Time Skip~

Little Hadrian watched his stuffed cauldron fall to the floor as his 'mama' put him in his crib before facing the man who threw a green light at his 'dada' that made him fall.

Being the active child that he was, was able to climb out of his crib and crawl to his sev'us.

However, before the toddler could play with his toy he saw the green light hit his 'mama' and then she fell. He crawled to her plush in hand, he called out to her "Mama" he said and patted her cheek but her vacant eyes never moved. Hadrian never looked to the man who now had a wand pointed at his back, the green light was cast a third time but it only touched the toddler briefly before heading back towards its caster. The only evidence now that the boy was cursed with the Avada Kedavra was a scar on his right shoulder blade beneath his clothes.

The force of the spell hitting the man made a shock wave pushing the toddler away from his mother's body and had caused the roof to cave in, the debris barely missing the small child as it trapped him in a cocoon of cement and wood.

For hours the toddler remained in darkness, now too scared to squeeze his plush and make a sound. So when the lumbering steps of the half giant Hagrid and the equally heavy steps of the headmaster Dumbledore came up the stairs to search for him, calling out 'Harry' from time to time. Hadrian did his first bout of accidental wandless magic, he didn't want to be found and so he wasn't; even when a bout of homenum revelio was cast in his direction.

And so the giant and the headmaster left, leaving young Hadrian to fall asleep in the silence and for his magic to stop hiding him. Thus when a distraught Severus Snape came to the home, casting another handful of homenum revelio, he found a sleeping toddler with a death-grip on a stuffed cauldron.