Part 157 of the Elfwine Chronicles. The Elfwine Chronicles are a series of one-shots built around the family group of Eomer, Lothiriel and Elfwine. The total number will depend on how many ideas I get for new vignettes.

A/N: Be sure to note the quotes at the bottom. I happened across the first one, and wanted to find a way to incorporate the idea into one of the stories; it seemed to fit well here. The other one I ran across in trying to find the first one to make sure I quoted it properly, and liked it also.

Scrutiny

(May, 24 IV)

I love to watch her when she does not notice. To be sure, she is pleasing to the eye, even after long years at my side, running the household of Meduseld and rearing our children. But more than that, she has an inner beauty that I have always found mesmerizing.

Can anything compare with the tenderness of a mother sitting by the bedside of a child taken with illness? I watch as she applies love and medicants in equal measure to bring the child some relief from their distress. I have felt those cool hands stroking my own face when I have suffered, and I know the power in them to soothe and comfort.

Then there are the times I have come upon her teaching or playing with our children. I cannot claim such patience for myself, but I am awed by her unstinting endurance as she guides them in wisdom. I think I should have been a better pupil had one such as she been my teacher. Tears of frustration are tenderly wiped away, kisses of reassurance bestowed, and then they begin again until the lesson is understood.

It is not just as a wife and mother, though, that she shines. She moves among our people, and the people of Gondor, with an innate grace. I have seen her conversing freely with a king, a merchant, an Elf and a servant, all in one evening, and there was no evidence that any of them felt uncomfortable with her. She has a way of putting people at ease, and she adjusts her words to suit the person so there is no awkwardness.

But I think one of my favorite things is to watch her as she sleeps. Many is the morning I wake before she does, and though it has become a nearly daily tradition for me to kiss her awake, ofttimes I will first simply lay and gaze upon her. Her dark hair spreads across our pillows in a raven pool, and long lashes hide those beguiling grey eyes. Her brother Amrothos, in a rare poetic moment, once described her eyes as 'being like the sea after a storm'. At the time, I did not understand what he meant, but on one visit to Dol Amroth I finally witnessed such a storm. He is right, and I drown in their depths when she looks at me in love and passion.

I am not a man often given to self-doubt, and most of my life I have known exactly what I was doing, moving ahead with confidence and determination. Not until the kingship was thrust so suddenly upon me did my stride falter. This was not what I knew best, and it took some time to adjust to the new demands I faced. Fortunately for me, she came into my life soon after that. What I lacked in diplomatic training and experience, she had known since birth.

As the sole woman in a household of men, she was given a freedom uncommon for women of Gondor. To her father's chagrin, that freedom made her chafe at the societal restrictions of their culture, and more often than he would have liked, she failed to conform to the usual standard expected of royal young ladies. I, however, found her irreverence enchanting, and I believe I fell in love with her almost from the first moments we met. I was not intending to do so; to be sure, we both resisted the idea of a marriage alliance that was being thrust upon us, and she remained oblivious to our failure in the matter far longer than did I. Eventually, though, to the great joy of us both, as well as our families, we opened our eyes and saw that we were meant to be together. After that, when I stumbled, she laid a steadying hand on my arm, reminding me who I was and that I could do anything I set my mind to doing.

With her at my side, it was not difficult to set aside uncertainties and move forward with my former conviction of purpose. I knew how to lead and I was well acquainted with the concerns of Rohan, having dealt with them most of my days if not as king. Over the years, some have misunderstood her influence over me, and falsely believed that she directs my actions, but Lothiriel would never presume to do such. More than anyone else she trusts my judgment, and while she will guide my thoughts to aid me in determining the best course, she rarely attempts to sway my decision. Even when we have quarreled about something regarding our children, I have always known her first desire was to find a resolution we both could live with rather than to assert her own will in the matter.

I do not know how many more years we will share on this earth, but I could wish for my days to be extended indefinitely lest I miss even a moment with her. I would almost wish that when we die that we die in the same instant, for I do not believe she will be any happier without me than I would be without her. She would carry on, I am sure, but she would not like having me gone from her side.

I know a time of parting must come, but when it does, wherever I am beyond this life, I hope it is permitted that I continue to be able to gaze upon my beloved wife for all of eternity.

THE END

9/25/07

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you." – Winnie the Pooh (A. A. Milne)

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you." – Winnie the Pooh (A. A. Milne)

Eomer 53, Lothiriel 45, Elfwine 23, Theodwyn 16, Theomund 14, Morwen 10, Theodred 1

End note: It is best that you read the Elfwine Chronicles in the order they were written. The more of them that I wrote, the more likely I was to make reference to one of the previous ones and something that happened there. If you want to read them in order, go to the top of this page and click on my name (Deandra). That will take you to my profile page. Scroll down and you will find all the stories I have written. The Elfwine Chronicles are in order from bottom to top since ffn shows them in the order they were posted. A few were posted out of number order, but you can read them in posting order or number order since those few won't be affected in the story content.