Jellicle Bells

Rating: K

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: I believe this story is what people call a crack!fic, i.e. it's not supposed to make any sense, just to make people laugh. If that's not your cup of tea, please go and find another fanfic to read.


The Jellicle choice had just come to an end when the Jellicle tribe heard a noise from the shadows, followed by a strange cat stepping out into the moonlight.

"Now, that was really nice," said the red tabby she-cat as she showed herself to the Jellicles, effectively shocking the tribe into silence.


Munkustrap was the first to recover. "What's your name and what are you doing here?" he demanded to know, taking a step towards the strange cat - ready to protect his tribe, even though the red tabby didn't look particularly dangerous.

"My humans live nearby and I was taking a walk through the streets when I heard some cats singing. I decided to find these cats and warn them before my humans heard them, too, 'cause my humans once poured cold water on a tom who was singing in front of their house, and I didn't want that to happen to you. Savvy?"

"Uh... yes. Thanks for warning us, but we're done singing for tonight." And now go back to your humans, you don't belong here.

"Well, I could sing something for you," the stranger suggested, unfazed by the numerous pairs of eyes staring at her mistrustingly. "A song my humans like to sing at this time of the year..." And before any cat could say another word, the red tabby started singing:


Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go,
Laughing all the way
The bells on bob-tail ring,
They make our spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and sing
A sleighing song tonight

OH! Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh-hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way!
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh!

"The little humans who live in my house sing this in a slightly different way, though," the strange cat remarked before taking a deep breath and continuing with her song:


Dashing through the snow
On a pair of broken skis
O'er the hills we go,
Crashing into trees
The snow is turning red,
I think I'm nearly dead
Now I am in the hospital
With stitches in my head

Eatin' jelly beans, jelly beans,
Jelly beans all day
Sugar level's through the roof,
They don't know what to say-hey!
Jelly beans, jelly beans,
I know I'm not okay
So I'll keep eating jelly beans
Till my releasement day!


The red tabby winked at the stunned Jellicles before turning to leave. Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks and looked back, as if she'd suddenly remembered something. "If you want to listen to me singing again, just ask the first cat you meet outside this junkyard about Spottedface." With that said, the strange cat left.

"I think the second part was about herself," said Skimbleshanks. "I don't know exactly what a 'hospital' is, but I've seen a lot of people on the train eat jelly beans, and some of them started bouncing around and singing just like Spottedface did."

THE END


A/N: Merry Christmas or a happy [insert holiday you celebrate in December here] to y'all! :-)