Hi everyone. this idea had been brewing in my head for sometime as after the Smaude reads fanfic video I hadn't actually been able to find any stories other than the ones read. I will hopefully write more parts to this but no promises. I hope you enjoy.
Sunday Night
Sam
I sighed as I put down my phone and laid it on my bedside table. I interlocked my hands, placed them on my chest and stared up at the ceiling from my bed. I had read that fanfic for the hundredth time, and it was surprisingly difficult to find new ones - and it's not like I could tweet out asking people to send me their Smaude fanfiction.
It had started out as curiosity; I had a crush on Maude from the first day she started working at Sourcefed and after seeing the hashtags and the ship names I got curious, I googled it to see what the viewers were saying and spreading. But reading it once and scoffing had turned into a hopeless desperation to imagine myself with the girl of my dreams.
Another Sunday night wasted, I thought to myself, before leaning over and clicking off the light.
Maude
I lay horizontally across my bedroom floor, holding my phone with one hand when -
ow.
I dropped my phone on my face and groaned, which caused Zelda to come over and start licking my nose.
"Get off me pup." I said as I pushed her away. I looked back at my phone screen which displayed a picture of Sam and I.
Of course I was only searching the subreddit for totally innocent reasons - I swear I was only trying to find pictures of us to post for his birthday...Which was three months away. Who am I kidding? When I first started working at 'Nerd I found Sam a little brash, quiet, annoying, difficult, nervous, funny, cute... huh? Point is he started to grow on me. Quickly.
I can't believe I have heart ache over a boy 8 years younger than me - goddammit I am a grown woman and should not be stopped by a pre-teen. Even if he was 22. And cute. So cute.
"Oh, Sammy," I whispered to myself. "What's this?"
A link had been posted to a fanfic of Sam and I - one I hadn't read before. I glanced at the time and realised it was much too late to start reading now, so I forwarded the link to my work iPad, put my phone down, got into my sleep wear (if you could call it that, I was barely 'wearing' anything) and crashed face first into the pillows.
Monday
Sam
Keys, check, wallet, check, phone, check. I did my usual pat down of pockets (albeit slightly changed - it's dungaree day and that means awkward pocket positions), chucked my ForHumanPeoples rucksack in the passenger seat and started the engine of my car. I started Spotify and played Panic! At the Disco and set off towards the highway, speeding ever so slightly.
"Pretty, pretty, pretty thing..." I hummed along to the song, pulled up to the office and walked through the front doors.
Hey's and Hi's aside, I waltzed to my desk where Maude was sitting to my left (wearing dungarees too - I swear we must have a mental connection) and was greeted with the every day offering of Storm Trooper candy (it's always a no, Maude. It's just not good). After about a half hour of scrolling through news sources, Reddit and Twitter I had compiled enough information in order to write my script, and noticed that Maude was already leaving to the writers room.
"Hey, hold up, I'll come with you, we have to write this script together ya know?" She took little notice of me and carried on. "Geez," I murmured under my breath, "What side of the bed did she wake up on?" I hurriedly packed my things and semi-jogged to catch up with her.
"So, I was thinking after Nerd news we could do a game today? Have you heard of that whipped cream one we just got in?"
"Sure Sam, but we have to write this script first." Work-Maude was not the same as Fun-Maude, and even while she was warm to me on camera and out-of-hours, it still upset me to see her brush me off so easily in job mode.
"Oh, I forgot my iPad at my desktop." She said, putting her head in her palms.
"I'll go grab it for you, I need to refill my jug anyway." Slightly raising my half empty bottle of water and half smiling.
"Thanks Sam, I'll start writing the script."
Someone's warming up already, I thought to myself gleefully - easing her out of bitch mode was always a puzzle to start every day.
Maude
Did I enjoy being cold? Not at all, but it was the only way to actually get work done with Sam off camera; otherwise I'll be rolling on the floor laughing or getting lost in a topic. 'Lost in a topic, or in his eyes?' An invasive thought appeared. I tapped my head and scolded myself mentally. I watched as Sam walked away to get my iPad.
Oh, shit. I hadn't unlocked it today. Which meant the text message of the link from my phone was gonna appear on the home screen. Fuck.
It was too late to stop it, as I saw Sam walk back with furrowed brows and with an inquisitive tone he asked:
"Why is there a text message from 'Maude Phone' that reads, "Smaude Fanfic" followed by a Reddit link?"
Initiate: Defensive.
"Looking at my notifications now are you?"
"You read every text I get. You reply to half of them."
Initiation: Failed.
Initiate: Excuses.
"I was thinking about you and I making a video where we read our fanfics over on Geekbomb. I was meaning to talk to you about it."
Sam paused for a moment. "Sure, I'd love to be on your channel. Sounds fun."
Initiation: Successful.
Sam
Bull. Shit. Maude's an awful liar. She went bright red and looked away from me. I've played WatchDogs. Don't bullshit me.
But I didn't say anything. Why? Well first, I dislike confrontation, and wouldn't want to argue with a co-worker, much less Maude. Secondly, I get to film a video with Maude. Sweet.
The day flew by real quick, and before I knew it all the writing had been finished and the filming was over. I bumped into Will in the parking lot, with the daily teasing that he had smacked Maude's butt twice consensually, and that I only had awkward run-ins with her chest every now and then. Yeah, co-workers can be real assholes when they think you have a crush on someone - even worse when they're right. I know he's only joking so I shrug it off and get in my car. I look through the drivers window and see-
Maude
"Fuck I'm so stupid, what an awful fucking lie! He must've seen straight through me goddammit! Garretts don't lose, how hasn't he been in my bed yet!"
I was going off on one in the car. I finally calmed down with all the hand gestures and hitting things when I gripped the steering wheel and looked through the passenger window and saw Sam staring at me with a confused expression, as he mouthed the words 'You okay?' and tilting his head. 'Just peachy.' I mouthed back holding up my thumb and giving a big grin, before slamming the accelerator and escaping the situation as quickly as possible.
Thursday
Sam
The week had been pretty swell so far.
I had just gotten the text from Maude confirming the details of when and where we were going to be shooting our video. I had done videos for Geekbomb before, but one thing made this stand out - we were filming in her studio apartment, on a Saturday morning.
I hated Saturday mornings.
Oh, and also the fact that I was mostly likely going to be alone with her, which is not something that happened often. Sure, we'd hung out outside of the office, but usually in a big group of friends. Checking my social media (no longer Dublin Inc. after much time spent changing everything) I saw GIFs made from the whipped cream video that had been posted yesterday. It was obviously from a smaude blog that I followed, and it was the 3 second frame where I was considering taking some of the whipped cream off her face.
I swear I only seriously thought about it for a second.
Hanging out with Maude alone slightly intimidated me - we bounce off each other on camera, but what if without the other hosts I'm utterly boring? I steeled myself for the upcoming occasion and sucked it up.
I just had to pretend I didn't know these fics word for word.
Maude
Garretts. Never. Lose.
I managed to convince the Flash himself to come over and shoot our video in my apartment. Not that it was actually my idea - a Skype call with my mother (who was unfortunately very, very open about my sex life) prompted me to do so. I hung up the call and closed my laptop, trying to erase all memory of her reminder that 'Sex is a beautiful thing, Flossy, and if you're going to do it, do it well and be safe.'
But thinking about that was better than thinking about the stone cold rejection on camera, that I knew would eventually end up on bloopers. I had purposefully left this detail out of mine and my mum's call. On set today, Sam was shooting me down with every rejection possible. I was hoping it was just a joke, but some things he came out with were so quick witted I started to think they were true.
"Speaking of dates, what are you doing this Friday, Sam?"
"I'm busy."
Ouch. The last bloopers had been even colder than this one. I may have gotten over this by crying into Zelda for a solid 14 minutes; but she's a dog and she'll have to take this secret to the grave.
There had been times before where I felt like shit due to his nonchalant attitude.
"Have you ever had crush on a co-worker?"
"Not at this job." He replied, pulling a Jenga brick. Crushed. And did the cameras pick up on that.
Saturday Morning
Sam
Today was the day. I had considered drinking before I left the house, but quickly realised while it would calm my nerves it would also make my driving difficult.
I was looking forward to seeing her, but nothing in my life had been so nerve wracking. I turned up to her complex and got buzzed in. Walked up the countless steps (that's a lie, I count things as a coping mechanism, it's 42, 43, 44..) when I reached the oak door that was separating Maude and I.
I tried to look extra snazzy, and made sure to hone in on the little details - extra deodorant (god I'm sweaty when I'm nervous), extra cologne (I wanna smell good dammit), brushed my teeth twice and used mouthwash (just in case). I knocked and waited.
"~coming..." Came her sing song Aussie accent as I heard the dead bolt unlock and the door creak open. She was looking as fine as ever. I've never really thought about a glass flower being able to beat me up, but that's what came to mind. What I'm trying to say is that she was beautiful, and fragile, and independent, and she was awesome.
She was wearing one of her tight dresses that highlighted her curves and made me drool from the corners of my mouth. She wore her hair loosely as it waved down her face,and greeted me with a great big smile.
"Hey," I raised my hand awkwardly, "I believe we have a video to shoot."
Maude
Handsome. Not breathtaking, or a model, but he was good looking, like the nerd who shone just before high school prom. He really scrubbed up well when he wanted to, even if he thinks I don't notice.
He dressed like he always did, a graphic tee and a pair of jeans, his blue bandana and his glasses. He was adorable. His hair was slightly less messy than usual, and his beard had been trimmed down.
"I believe we do." I smiled as I waved him in and ushered him to the kitchen. "Would you like a drink?"
Sam's eyes danced playfully for a second, as if he was reminiscent of a good memory. "Is it too early for whiskey?"
"It is if you're driving."
"Darn it. I'll have an OJ Mooode." He better not be testing me.
"You're in my house, say my name properly."
"Ooo someone's in a bossy mood." The cheek of him!
"I'm gonna poison your OJ."
"Sorry Maude." He shut up pretty quick.
I walked over to him and handed him his drink.
"So I picked out two fanfics for us to read on set - the set being the white back ground in the spare room. I-have-no-idea-what-they're-about-I-haven't-read-them." I rattled off.
"What was that last part?"
"Oh, I just haven't read these so I don't know what they are about." Going bright red. "Is it hot in here?"
"It's like 60 degrees in here!
"16 degrees Celsius. Aussie rules."
"Point is it's not hot." He gave me a sly grin.
"When did you get so cheeky?" I shot at him.
"When did you get so blushy?" He said, pointing to my rosy cheeks.
"Shut up, let's just film this video."
Sam
I don't like calling people out. I really don't.
Maude is just really cute when she gets flustered.
The video went pretty smoothly - it took about 45 minutes to film considering we had minimum slip ups which would usually make for a 20 minute video. We read out two classics as I'd like to think of them, her reading my favourite of the two. There were actually some perks of the video, we got pretty close, I got to hold her hand (despite it being like holding a corpse) and she snuggled underneath my head which was pretty freaking awesome if you asked me. We wrapped up the shoot, and began packing up.
"Hey Sam, you know you do technically owe me a screening of -"
"No chance." I was not. She was not going to-
15 minutes into the film and I was already getting a headache. Despite the fact that we weren't drunk, Maude and I were sitting fairly close to each other on her bed watching her favourite film. She had an incredible memory to know this entire script; she'd been rattling it off without breaking a sweat.
"Okay, we get it, can't you just enjoy the film?"
"Nope." In spite of her comments I put my hand over her mouth to muffle the commentary. She struggled and we started wrestling with each other. We began play fighting until we had abandoned watching the movie and we were beginning to full on nerd fight. I pulled off some moves I'd seen in the Flash, and she kicked my ass.
We had moved around her entire apartment, from being superheroes in the guest room (I'm the Flash, she chose to be Harely Quinn) to fighting with imaginary lightsabers in the kitchen (Darth Maude conquered me easy-peasy, she had practice), to shooting spells at each other in the living room (she got offended when I went straight to avada kadavra) and finally ending up in her bedroom, on her bed pulling out some serious WWE moves (Mike Falzone would be proud).
"Who's the Flash now, Sammy the lamby?" Maude was straddling my chest, but not in a cute or sexy way; in a cut-off-my-air-supply-choke-me-out-mma way.
"I am!" I spit out before reversing the action totally by sitting straight up. She fell into my lap, facing me, around 3 inches away from each other's faces. She was wearing pink lipstick, and I couldn't help but wonder whether it was flavoured. My guess was on bubblegum, but I guess there was only one way to find out.
Maude
Exactly where I wanted him. Bunny was going nowhere, and sitting on his lap (that was ever so slightly tensed up - I wish he'd relax) a few centimetres away from the first kiss that was to flourish into something awesome.
I noticed him looking at my lips, and I could already tell was he was thinking. I began to lean in, when we were rudely interrupted by the worst dog ever. Damn you Zelda.
First you chew through my cords, and now you ruin the moment. You're getting dry food tonight.
The barking was loud enough to startle Sam, and the combination of our awkward positioning and weight led to us both simultaneously falling off the side of the bed, thankfully unscathed.
"I'm so sorry, Zelda is a bit of an arse."
"Don't worry, I know the feeling." He said chuckling to himself.
"Aw, bunny." I said in my overly high pitched voice and best shit-eating grin.
We both started chuckling which led to full blown laughter as we rolled on the floor. Sam has tidied himself up while I was still in hysterics, clutching my stomach as it began to ache. Calming down a bit, he turned and faced me. "I can't make anyone else in my life laugh like you Maude, and the fact that it makes you so happy makes me real happy too."
My ovaries. Goddammit he was cute. For God's sake Bashor, you're killing me.
I walked him to the door, and gave him a big hug, before making him promise that next time he would watch the entire film with me. Slightly sceptical about the truth of his word, I made him pinky swear before I let him go, gave him a kiss on the cheek, (the second ever) and sent him on his way. I shut the door behind him, before giving Zelda the finger and adjusting my dress, frowned at the sexy underwear I had worn.
"The battle is lost, but the war is not over." I mumbled in a bad Russian accent, tensing my hand into a fist and raising it in the air.
Sam
I waited until the door shut behind me, and pumped my fist into the air when no one was looking. "Yes!" I shouted under my breath. Was it a real life adult kiss? No. But it was from Maude. Overall, I was pretty darn swell.
