A/n: I don't usually write really dark stories like this but it was in my head and I had to get it out. I hope you guys like it!
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.
He held her hand on the way home. It took the same amount of time as it always does, though they seemed to skip all the red lights this time. Still, it felt like an eternity. The warmth from her soft, slender hands traveled through his fingers and up his arms and mixed with the adrenaline he still had pumping in his veins since he'd heard about the fire. That Ryan and Esposito were in the building, potentially burning to death while Kevin's wife awaited the arrival of their first and almost only child.
When the car pulled to a stop in the parking garage, shut off, they sat there for a moment; shared a weak smile that trickled off to a stare. So grateful but both still wrapped up in the, "what if." What if they'd died? Kate had sent them in there. No, it wasn't her fault but he knew he'd have had to spend the rest of his life trying to convince her. He hated and loved that about her. He didn't want her to hurt. Mostly he wondered what if it had been THEM. Or just her, for whatever reason. What if she'd gone with one of the others, and he'd been held out of a burning building that his fiancé was in. He couldn't bare the thought. He would have went in, no doubt about it. Maybe there was a time when he'd have put his family first, though he couldn't remember if there ever was. But, no. She was his family now. He imagined finding her and holding her until the building gave out and the fire consumed them both as a whole. All he wanted was to hold her.
He felt the squeeze of her hand and then the slow pull of his arm and the kiss she left on his knuckles pulled him from his thoughts. Her lips grazed the top of his hand just once more and then she let go, nodding her head towards the general area of the apartment. They stepped out of the car and the slamming of the doors was a deafening bang in his ears. The second he was able to, he wrapped his arm tight around her shoulder, felt the warmth of her right arm as she roped it around his lower back. His fingers found hers again and they walked the twenty feet to the elevator completely wrapped up in each other, just like it should be.
The elevator started it's slow climb up to the loft and she rested her head on his chest. He let out a relaxed sigh of contentment and brushed a kiss to her temple. How did they get to this place? Though he'd wanted this for as long as he could remember, if someone had told him even two years ago that he'd be standing like this with Kate, that they'd be engaged and planning their wedding and so in love it hurt..he'd have thought they were crazy. But he would've hoped. He'd always hoped.
The elevator dinged and they took their time getting to the door, leaning into each other, her head still resting on him. He wished he could read her mind. He wanted to know she was truly alright. They got through the door seconds later, the key sticking in the lock, prolonging the warmth of the loft. He watched her go through the motions of taking her coat off, her scarf and gloves, unzipping her boots and was almost sick thinking that no matter the outcome of the day, she'd have done the same things had she been the one to come home.
He threw his coat on the back of the couch and stopped her on her way to the kitchen with a gentle hand on her arm. He wanted to be strong for her but he knew she saw the raw emotion in his eyes; the sadness, the love, the lust, the anger, the hope. He slid his hand along her jaw and on her neck, felt the pulse there. It was real and had his heart slowing down; proof that she was ok. He wasn't sure who initiated it, just that it was exactly what he needed, and when their lips finally met, after hours of waiting, he felt the electricity. The electricity that builds and grows each time he kisses her. She parted her lips on a sigh and he met her tongue with an intensity that had them both groaning. Her arms were wound tightly around his back but she drug them up his chest and pushed them into his hair, holding his face to hers. He kept a hand on her cheek, the other found its way to her hip and then her lower back. This was what he'd waited for all day, it seemed, the only thing that had calmed him more than just being in her presence.
When she pulled away from him, they breathed deeply, just short of gasping for air between the two of them, their foreheads pressed together.
"I love you so much, Castle." She kissed him again.
"I love you so much, too," he whispered, and then she pressed her lips to his again and again before she spoke.
"I'm so glad everyone's ok, I'm so glad, I don't know what I would have done," her voice broke on the last word and so he wrapped her up in his arms and squeezed her tight, holding her head on his shoulder to comfort her. She fit perfectly to him and he wondered how much longer he could have gone without this physical contact that holds him together on a daily basis.
When they finally climbed into bed, she kissed him and then laid beside him, her back to his chest. He snaked an arm around her middle and felt her fingers lace with his. She smelled like cherries and it made him crack a smile. He could feel and smell her all around him, but unlike any other day he wasn't taking this time for granted. He lie there, just breathing her in before he was taken by sleep, and his dreams were filled of burning buildings; his family trapped inside. He woke a short time later, having dreamt that Kate was trapped in the building alone; he sat up and rubbed her arm, kissed her cheek, waited for his heart rate to slow. Thanking God things had ended well today, he wondered what her dreams consisted of. He prayed about that, too.
Thanks for reading :)
