Title:
The Betrayal
Author: Jemma
Story Status:
Complete
Series/Sequel Info: None
Season: Five
Spoilers:
Ascension
Categories: Missing scene, Angst, UST, one pissed off
Jack.
Pairings: Sam and Jack
Rating: K
Content
Warnings: Swearing.
Summary: What do you say to someone who you
put all your trust in, and then they betray it? How Jack deals with
what Sam did at the end of Ascension.
Archive Permissions: Please
ask
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters relating to
Stargate. They belong to MGM and any of their associates. I'm just
playing around with them for a little while!
Authors Note: OK, so
I'm feeling particularly stressed at the mo, and I haven't written
for ages...things like English essays and University applications
keep getting in the way! Anyway, this has been nagging and nagging at
me to write it. I didn't like Ascension...but there will be no
sequel to this! No happy ending! However, please don't go assuming
I now hate Sam – I don't! It's just the result of a stressed
me.
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'Off world activation,' the technician calls with relative calmness. 'We're receiving SG-16's radio signal.'
As Hammond steps up to the control room window he calls for the iris to be opened. As it peels back the first person I see step through is Carter. After that everyone else just fades into the background. And, for a change, because I'm happy to see her or that incredible smile of hers has captivated me once more. The look I give her is more than sufficient to let her know exactly how I'm feeling; betrayed.
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As I step back through to the reality of what I've done, it hits me full force. The look he gives me makes me feel, to put it delicately, like a piece of shit. I know I shouldn't have followed Orlin, but what was I supposed to do? Just let him go through and die?
Well... I know he did anyway, but if I hadn't of tried I couldn't have lived with it. And anyway, my only other alternative was to wait for Simmons and his super troops to come and bust my ass...so, not much of a choice.
Walking down the ramp feels like the longest journey I've ever made. His eyes never move from me, even if I can't make myself meet his fully.
'Debrief right away please Major,' I dimly hear the General announce over the PA, so I take the left door instead and walk up to the control room. When I get there the Colonel is already ascending the stairs to the briefing room, closely followed by General Hammond, so I follow suit. SG-16 still seems a little dumbstruck and follows slowly.
Reaching the top of the flight, I walk slowly into the room and take my reserved seat next to the Colonel. He doesn't even look at me. No 'nice to see your ok' even. I know what he's feeling, and I know why. Because I lied to him.
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She takes her rightful place at my side, but I can't bring myself to look at her, let alone say anything. And besides, I don't think it would be appropriate to start chewing out my second in command in front of the General.
The de-briefing itself is tense. I tell the General what happened at Carter's place, putting quite a lot of emphasis on the 'her jumping through the gate after an alien' part...my bad mood got the better of me.
SG-16 filled us in on their work on the planet and then Carter gave us the details on what happened when she and Orlin got there. Gotta say, hats off to the guy...alien...whatever. What he did was, noble.
The General gives Carter a bit of a chewing out himself. Lots to do with lying to her commanding officers, hiding the alien, running off to an alien planet with no regard for the consequences etc etc... She makes her case calmly and offers her apologies. The General seems to accept it all fairly well. Better than I'm gonna anyway. He gives her a warning, tells her she's lucky her record is so good and that technically she had my approval, and then dismisses us. I think about asking her for a chat now, but I don't think it's the right time. I know I'll know when it is.
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General Hammond calls a close to the briefing and I hurry to my feet and out the door as fast as I can without looking insubordinate. I know that the Colonel is gonna wanna talk to me, but I just can't face it at the moment.
I get to my lab as quickly as I can and close the door, blocking out the harshness of the actual world. Leaning against the cool metal has the effect of calming me slightly. I know he's coming, and soon.
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She almost scampers out of the room in her hurry to escape. I don't want her to be scared of me. God, that's the last thing I want. I just want her to realise what she'd actually done by doing what she did. I just need her to understand that now time is the only thing that will help. And now, I decide, is the time.
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Sitting at my desk I scam over some schematics that were made of the reactor by SG-16, but the amount I'm actually talking in is minimal. Then I hear it. A slow, steady, but purposeful striding down the corridor. It slows as it approaches the door, and then a rhythmical knock on the door is made. Oh shit.
'Come
in,' I call tentatively. And, surprise surprise, I was correct in my
assessment of who it would be.
'Hey
Colonel.'
'Hi Carter.'
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She looks worried as I enter her relatively quiet lab. Her quiet voice, along with the occasional whirring of some project she's working on are the only sounds that can be heard.
'I
think you know why I'm here Major.'
'Yes sir, I do.'
'Well
then, lets get started shall we?'
I know it's a statement, not a question. He grabs a stool and puts it next to the edge of my desk, and I can see the same eyes that were looking at me as I stepped back through the gate just a couple of hours ago. My brain is telling me to say something first. Tell him how sorry I am for lying to him. How sorry I am for disobeying his orders and for leaving with Orlin. How sorry I am...for all of it.
'So,
Major,' he begins. 'What exactly do you think you were playing
at?'
Oh shit. And so it begins...
'Sir, I know how disappointed
you must be.'
'You know what Carter, I don't think you
do.'
'Sir...'
'Ah! I think I should finish, don't you?'
The
guilt is beginning to hit in full force now, so I just nod mutely I
response, unable to even meet his eyes.
'What you did was
unacceptable behaviour. If I were the General I'd have had your ass
for this Carter. You disobeyed my direct orders and you jumped
through a home made Stargate to another planet, where you could have
quite easily been killed.'
He
pauses for breath and as he does so I look slowly up to him, trying
to tell him how sorry I am. It may be wishful thinking by he seems to
soften a little; just a little.
'Now, as your commanding officer,
it's my duty to give you this little disciplinary lecture. I don't
want to be Carter, especially to you.'
It's
only now that I'm beginning to understand exactly what it is I've
done. I betrayed him, in every way possible. As his second in
command, as a member of his team, and as his friend.
'I know,' I
whisper.
I can't believe how awful I feel right now. I betrayed the trust of one of my closest friends. How do you go about getting that back? Then I feel it; a little pool of moisture building up at the back of my eyes. Holy shit. I never cry. God...what does this man do to me?
'Why'd
you do it Sam?' he asks so quietly I strain to actually hear him. If
I didn't know better I'd say he was pretty close to shedding some
tears of his own.
'Because I thought I was doing what was right.
Because that's what you've always told us to do.'
'I've never told
you to hurt the people who care about you.'
'I know that too. I
didn't mean to.'
'Then why?'
'He needed my help sir.'
The
air has become still. The words we speak are so quiet compared to how
he had
started out.
'Listen to me,' I almost plead. 'I never meant to
hurt anyone. I was trying to do what was best by everyone. And at the
time what was best was for me to help Orlin without the rest of the
team. Can you understand that?'
There is a tense few seconds.
'Yeah,
I can Carter.'
I breathe out, relieved that we seem to have taken
a first step.
'What
I can't understand is why you couldn't let me help you.'
He
stands, knocking the stool backwards and heading for the door at
lightening speed. In desperation I stand up and call his
name.
'Jack!'
There we go. He stands rooted to the spot. I sit,
unable to form the words to follow that single one.
'Please.
Understand.'
It's a last ditch attempt. To get back his trust. His
friendship. His respect.
Slowly he turns back around to face me.
He's calm compared to how he was just seconds ago. Looking me dead in
the eye he answers.
'I will. In time.'
That's it. He turns,
walks out of the door and doesn't look back. I slowly retake my
previous position
of sitting on the stool.
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Two hours later I'm still sitting, although I've managed to make myself a cup of coffee in the process, which has since gone fairly cold.
I don't quite know what to make of our little talk earlier. But, there is one thing I do know for sure. It's gonna take time. I hurt a lot of people. Him, I know, most of all. I never meant to. I don't know if he was jealous of Orlin… but he didn't need to be. He never needs to be.
I did what I did because I thought it was the right thing to do, not to try and hurt him, or push him away. I know that eventually he'll realise it, maybe he does already, who knows. But I know that when he does, he'll understand.
SGSGSGSGSGSGSG
22/10/2002
