VICTORIA POV

I couldn't believe it was happening. Nathan and Mr. Jefferson being escorted out of Blackwell in handcuffs by the police. It was all too surreal. What the fuck? My best friend had just shot some girl in the bathroom. I knew he was mentally unstable but I had no idea he was this bad. I couldn't even move. I just stood there in shock until they walked out the front entrance.

And then it hit me. I was screaming. I was running after Nathan. He was too far… I couldn't catch him. He was being put into the back of the police car. Tears were streaming down my face. I ran down the stairs, two at a time, and fell onto the window of the police car. Nathan looked up at me, tears streaming down his face. I was screaming, but I couldn't hear any sounds emerging from my mouth. God, how could this happen? My best friend, my security blanket, the one person who I could count on was being fucking taken away from me. I could barely breathe. The next thing I knew, I was being shoved backwards. One policeman was shoving me backwards and I was being yanked back by my arms. I was still screaming, but it was all white noise. Nathan looked so helpless and started crying even more. I wanted to be closer to him. I started pushing forward against the police officers, but it was no help. The police officers went away while two teachers held me back as the police cars drove away with Nathan in it… He didn't take his eyes off of me as the car rounded the corner. And with that, I fell to the ground.

I woke up in my dorm room, in my bed. Thank fuck, it had all just been a dream! I reached for my phone and immediately called Nathan. What the fuck, his phone was off? It was never off. No missed calls either. Nathan usually called me in the middle of the night. He said my voice was soothing… it was 2.08am. I was still in my clothes, so I hopped out of bed and ran to the boy's dormitories. I stopped in my tracks as soon as I saw the police security tape all over his door and doorframe. "Fuck, no…" I couldn't believe it. Breathless, I started banging on Nathan's door. "Nathan! Open the fuck up!" No answer. Jesus, please don't tell me that dream was real. I fumbled around in my pocket until I found the spare key to his room that he had given me. I opened his door and it was empty. No bed, no computer, no photos, no couch, no… nothing. It was gone; all fucking gone. I collapsed on the floor and brought my head to my hands. It's as if he had never existed. I opened my phone and looked at the last text he had sent me. "im fine. im ok. just tired. I wanna c u after class k?" To think that had only been about twelve hours ago… Shit. I was screaming again. Tears streaming down my eyes. How could I have let this happen? I should have done more. I protected him so much, but obviously not enough. Before I knew it, sunlight was pouring in through the window, and I was being lifted up. "What the fuck? I muttered as I saw yet another police officer lifted me off the ground. "Missy you're not allowed to be in here. This is an official crime scene."

"Crime scene?" I was slowly becoming more aware of my surroundings as I was gaining consciousness again. "What the fuck, this is my best friends dorm. He hasn't done anything wrong. And even if he did, he didn't mean it. He has severe mental issues."

"Miss, he allegedly killed two young girls. Now you need to get out of here before we forcibly remove you."

I was shocked, until I became angry. "Yeah! Right! You really expect me to believe that my best friend is a murderer? I know him better than anyone, and he would never do something like that…" I paused, "on purpose."

"Well, I'm not sure what else to tell you, Miss. You'll have to leave now though." I clenched my fists and stormed out. There was a large group of students outside Nathan's dorm room, trying to get a peak inside. As soon as I walked out, at least half of them were just staring at me. Most of them had seen my outburst yesterday as I ran to Nathan in the police car. If I was myself at all, I would have been embarrassed at my actions, but I wasn't. I didn't give a fuck about anything right now, apart from Nathan. I couldn't believe all this was real, and to know that his father wouldn't even give a flying fuck. In fact, he would be grateful that Nathan was being locked up. And that kills me. I wanted nothing more than to see him, to hold his hands in mine, kiss his forehead and tell him that everything was going to be okay. But it wasn't. It wasn't going to be okay. I probably wouldn't be able to even see Nathan in a very long time, let alone touch him, let alone hold his hand, let alone embrace him. My best friend has been taken from me, and I had never felt so lost.

I looked up and saw Taylor with Courtney walking towards me. Taylor ran towards me in what seemed like slow motion, and caught me as I collapsed in her arms. I was so weak; we just laid on the ground as half of the group of students were staring at me. I didn't care what they thought. I usually wouldn't let anyone see in such a vulnerable state… Except for Taylor, Courtney… And Nathan. I still can't believe he was gone.

NATHAN POV

I was shoved onto the ground while the police handcuffed me. Fuck. What had I done? I had really fucked up. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I didn't even look up while they escorted me out. I was sitting in the police car when I heard screaming. Victoria… Fuck. I just wanted her to hold me while I cried one more time. I probably would never even see her again. The one person who understood me was being taken away from me. Fucking hell, Nathan, you fuck up. Tears streamed down my face as her hands hit the window, helplessly. I couldn't stand to see her like this. It's as if I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces… Victoria. Oh, Vic. She was being shoved back by policemen as she screamed and cried. I just watched, helpless. My eyes widened. How could I do this to her? Fuck me. What about her? The one person I… loved. And I didn't even tell her. Not once had I told her how much I appreciated her and everything she had done for me. She was my only friend, the only one who actually cared what I was going through, and she was all I had left in this shithole, and just by looking at her, I was destroying her. Fucking Jesus.

The first night in my cell was the worst. Ever since I had been arrested, I was being treated like a criminal, which I was, but I had honestly never meant to shoot Chloe, let alone kill her. Fucking hell. I should have shot myself while I had the chance. But then Victoria would still be a wreck. Ugh, why did she have to care about me? Out of everyone she could have loved, she loved me. How? I don't know. I don't really care right now. All I know is that I want to be out of here and back in her arms. Even thinking like this hurt like a bitch.

I kept having a recurring nightmare of me running through a dark hall, screaming Victoria's name. I could hear laughter; I could hear her saying my name… It's as if I could hear her smile. I kept running and running, but I couldn't find her. I woke up in a cold sweat, crying, holding my pillow as if it was her… But it wasn't. Jesus fuck, what I would do just to hold her one last time… "I'm sorry, Vic," I quietly cried. I dozed off again.