Wanted to get this up before the new episode airs - so here you go, just in time!
Did you love the episode? I did. I was amazed by AJ Cook and MGG's acting. Their fight was portrayed so awesomely. And the others, too - particularly their 'public fight', and how the team reacts as Reid walks away... goosebumps!
So, enjoy :)
Dinner long gone, the team sat in Dave's living room, a large room with comfy chairs, an overstuffed couch and several book cases lining the walls. It was clear the senior profiler did his reading in style.
Morgan and Emily were in the middle of an animated conversation - about what, she could only guess, but judging by Emily's expression it was something decidedly nerdy.
Hotch, Dave and Garcia were engaged in a discussion about Italian cuisine - Hotch showing some surprising insights into his cooking knowledge and abilities. She smiled as she took in his bright eyes and lively expression. It was good to see her boss smile.
She and Spencer were sitting on the couch, the other seat taken by Garcia, and JJ was content just listening to the others. The tension between the team members had dissipated - she had no illusions about its duration, knowing there were still many things that had to be said, but she enjoyed the momentary calm.
She stole a glance at the man next to her. Spencer was watching the team, like her, with a smile on his face, but she saw the tension lines still around his eyes. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, and she didn't need to be a profiler to knew what that meant. He was a study in contradictions right now.
She knew that their problems, personally, were far from resolved. He was angry; how could he not be? He remembered those nights at her house as well as she did, and she knew that after those ten weeks, his grief hadn't disappeared; he'd simply made it private. Maybe he'd thought he was taking up too much of her time; maybe, in his clumsy way, he hadn't wanted to make the loss of Emily any harder for her.
She'd been so torn up during his visits. The only person she could've possibly talked to was Hotch, but they didn't have that type of relationship and, comforting though Hotch could undoubtedly be, she didn't want to have it, either. Besides, there was nothing he could have said: they'd made the right choice, and staying silent was the only way to preserve that choice.
But seeing Spencer cry, hearing his sobs, all the while knowing the truth, had broken her up. It had been more painful than she'd imagined to see her Spence, the man who'd overcome an addiction, broken. Afterwards, privately, she'd cried as well. Will was great, trying to comfort her, but she couldn't let him hug and kiss her because of what she knew was a lie.
She still couldn't believe he'd been tempted to reach for Dilaudid again. It had cost him so much to win the fight Tobias Hankel had started, and knowing he'd been ready to throw it all away hurt her deeply. Knwoing she'd almost caused that...
Almost without conscious thought, she turned slightly and put a hand on Spencer's left thigh, immensely relieved when he didn't move away.
"Spence, I'm sorry," she said softly, trying not to draw attention to themselves. "And I'm very glad and very sorry you wanted - you thought -" She wasn't sure how to finish that sentence, but she could see he understood her as his eyes widened slightly.
"I know," he said simply, not looking at her. "I'm... I'm sorry too, for acting the way I did. I know it must've been hard for you as well."
She smiled somewhat sadly. "I may have known the truth, but I was grieving all the same."
They both looked at Emily, who was still talking with Morgan, a large smile on her face. She, at least seemed fine, although JJ knew she still experienced guilt over causing the team pain, even though she'd had no choice.
"I was just so angry at you," Spencer continued almost apologetically. "And at Emily. And I... I didn't know... I couldn't talk to you about it, so I just..."
He was struggling with words, and it was such a rare sight that JJ took pity on him. "I understand," she told him. "I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't talk to anyone." She didn't know what else to say; there were no words that hadn't already, somehow, been said.
He seemed to feel the same. He didn't reply, but he slowly -carefully- put his hands over hers on his thigh.
And everything was okay.
Tell me what you thought! I do appreciate reviews :)
