"So you've noticed," he says. She knows that Ulquiorra's talking about Chad.
His words are so cold.
They have no regret. If they did, she would be angered because of his dishonesty.
They have no triumph. This confuses her. One of his enemies is downed. He does not care? His next words only cause her even more confusion: "That idiot Nnoitra became impatient. He had been ordered to remain in his chambers."
She ends confusion with her initial desperate defiance. "Sado-kun is not dead." She isn't lying to herself. She believes in him, even if Ulquiorra gives an annoyed sniff. "He isn't."
And then he looks at her. Those blue-green eyes, so perfect, so dead, turn on her. She turns away. Why? It's because she's frightened of the power she knows Ulquiorra has. Or is it? Is there something more that causes her to wrench her face away from those azure eyes? Is there something she just can't lay her finger on, something that would frighten her more than the truth on the surface? If there is, he's not making any comment on it. Or does he not know?
"Enter."
His simple words remind her of royalty. So many people obey him. And it's not just that: he has a certain grace to his movements that makes everything else seem insignificant. There's something in his colorless skin that makes her feel like he's above this world, above all tiny, meaningless discomforts and arguments. It makes her feel like she's nothing to him. It makes her feel expendable. Useless. Just a prisoner that "Aizen-sama" has taken interest in. She knows that if that interest was ever to fade, he would finish her life without second thought.
Right?
"Here's your meal." Those three words, too: The underlying, unspoken words were "I don't care about this. I have been ordered to bring your meal, so I do that. I don't care what you want." And then, "Eat." That order is so harsh, so lifeless. He's been ordered to say that, too.
"I don't want it," she replies. She doesn't. To accept her food would be to demonstrate weakness, to show that her defiance was bending, breaking.
"Until Aizen-sama says otherwise, staying alive is also one of your duties." So uncaring. He only comes here because of Aizen-sama. He takes no interest in her herself. She's almost disappointed: And she thought that her power was of interest, that she was of interest, huh?
"Eat!" he says, more forcefully this time, again looking at her, trapping her against him with his eyes, his words hinting of the horrible ways he could harm her if she didn't obey him, if she didn't obey "Aizen-sama". "Shall I force it down your throat?" he asks, almost sardonically. She's just a bit of trash to him. He doesn't care one bit about her well-being. She's disappointed. This time, is it because of a different
reason? Does she really want to be accepted, appreciated by him? "Or would you rather be strapped down and given IVs?"
So cruel. So above this world, not concerned at all how much he's damaging her emotions.
"Sado-kun…isn't dead!" she insists.
"You're annoying me." Is she really? He doesn't seem like it one bit. Or is it that the way he shows annoyance is a lot scarier than the way of most people? "It does not matter one way or another." He's pressing her down, word by word. "What do you want me to say?"
What does she want him to say?
He continues. "Don't worry, I'm sure he's still alive." No. He would be dishonest.
"Pathetic." No, no. She can't show how much she's hurt by his cold, mocking statement. What does she want? What does she want him to say?
Nothing, nothing.
"I'm not here to pamper you. I don't understand you. Why does it matter so much to you, his being alive or not?" This is becoming a battle. Him against her. He's winning. She can't stand the way he can so easily bring her down. She can't stand the way she wants him to be there, at the same time. She can't stand the inhuman, emotionless contents of his words, and she can't stand the inhuman, emotionless way he says them.
How can he say things like that? "After all, soon all of your nakama will be dead." Those words, so powerful, pour so easily from his colorless lips. "Why does it matter that one was killed a little before planned?"
Planned? She hates this! Can't he just leave, and take the stupid food with him? No, no, no! He just has to keep battering her, piercing her, torturing her, so easily, so effortlessly, so gracefully. "They should have realized this from the start." Of course. So logical, so calculating, so obvious. Why is he doing this to her? Why does she hate him, hate the way she can't throw herself onto him and sob?
"Stop it." She has to say it. She's hurting too much now.
But he continues, even worse. "And if they didn't realize this, they were fools."
No! How can he do this! Why is he sliding himself into her brain, forcing down her barriers of self-defense? No one did this to Rukia in the days before her execution. "You should be able to laugh all this off if you think of them as such. Why can't you do that?" His words, so cruel, roll so easily off his tongue.
Of course not! Rukia never laughed at Ichigo, Uryuu, Yasutora, Orhime, and Yoruichi when they broke into Sereitei and risked their all to rescue her. How dare he, how dare he! She just wants him to stop, she just wants a little comfort, she just wants to fling herself into his lap and sob.
Of course not. To do that would be to demonstrate weakness.
"I would be angry at their stupidity of entering Hueco Mundo without first considering the limits of their strength."
No, no! They're her friends! There's no way they can be stopped! They defied the Gotei 13 back then, now they're going to finish the arrancar!
His toxic words are poisoning her brain. She can't let it go on.
No, no, no.
She can't take it anymore.
No, no, no.
Slap!
Her heels click once over the stone ground and her hand whistles across his face. He doesn't even more. He doesn't even look at her hand. He doesn't even make a move to remove her hand from his face. He just stands there: uncaring, above her, above everything. So cruel, so cold, so logical, so graceful.
She's been affected by it more than him. She stares at him, panting just from the effort it takes her to slap him: Cuarto Espada, so much stronger than her.
"I will return in one hour."
Don't go!
"If you have not eaten by then, I will tie you down and force the food into your throat." He turns, out of her view. "Keep that in mind."
Don't go!
What is she thinking? Is he going to leave her to the loneliness again? She can't figure what's worse: Solitude, with only the distant moon to accompany her, or his cold, psychological torture.
Ulquiorra! What is he to her?
What is she to him?
Nothing, nothing.
Why does she regret that?
Nothing, nothing.
This is too hard on her.
She bursts into tears.
Nothing, nothing.
