One More Girl

She is so beautiful. She has this kind of ethereal glow around her, like moonlight framing her from behind. She's beautiful and desirable and funny. She's just one more girl that I won't be getting.

"Charlie, what do you zink of zis dress?" Fleur asks. I lift my head from the latest letter from Todd, my fellow dragon-keeper and look at her. I defy anyone passing her not to take a second glance. She is so beautiful and in her wedding dress she looks incredible. It's a simple white number with a corseted bodice and a slightly flared skirt with a triangle of black lace running down the back. She reaches up and lifts her golden hair in an approximation of the hairstyle she hopes to have.

"You look beautiful," I say. "Bill will love it." I experience a stab of pain as I say his name. When I met Fleur I thought she was beautiful. I first saw her three years ago when I took the dragons to Hogwarts for the Triwizard Tournament. This determined seventeen year-old leaving the tent to fight her dragon had captured my heart. But I'd thought it would be inappropriate for me to proposition a schoolgirl. Then she left and I lost track of her.

When I saw her again, it was in the kitchen at the Burrow. I remember it vividly. I stepped into the room to find this beautiful woman brewing tea. She turned and I recognised the schoolgirl I'd fallen in love with. I'd almost kissed her right there and then. I'd taken her hands and stood very close. She was smiling that gorgeous smile of hers up at me when Bill came in and introduced her as his girlfriend.

"I 'ave chosen gold as the colour for the bridesmaid's dresses," Fleur says enthusiastically to my mother. "Pink of course would be 'orrible with Ginny's 'air." I have to listen to her planning her wedding and talking about how much she loves Bill twenty-four hours a day. It kills me. My brother just sits there with this satisfied smirk on his face and I feel like punching him. He'd my brother and that will never change, but right now I hate him.

Even if he didn't know about my love for her, he stole the girl I love right out from under my nose. I have to witness their obvious love all the time when they hold hands as they're walking around the garden, when they smile into each other's eyes and when they kiss. All I can do is stare at Bill and wish I could be in his place. And when he asks me to be best man he acts like his doing me a gigantic favour when all he's doing is making me have to witness their marriage close up.

Finally the wedding day arrives. Mum has been freaking out since about May about this. She's fussing around us, criticising and fixing hairstyles, straightening ties and brushing off dress robes. I keep running my hand over the new short haircut. I miss my long hair; it was like a shield I could use so people didn't see my feelings. Now everyone will see the obvious pain and despair in my eyes as Bill and Fleur are united in holy matrimony.

"Charlie, Fleur needs a little help," Bill says, breaking through my thoughts. "I've got to get Mum a calming draught and supervise the seating of the guests. Thanks." He walks off and leaves me to ascend the stairs until I reach their bedroom. I find Fleur in there in a state of panic.

"I'm scared, Charlie," she says. Her hair is still wet from the shower and she's wrapped in her dressing gown. With her scrubbed face still pink from the shower and her innocent eyes she looks so much younger than her twenty years. "I don't know eef I can do zis."

"Of course you can, Fleur," I say reassuringly. "You and Bill love each other. What could possibly go wrong?" I put a finger to her lips to stop anything she might say. Instead I raise my wand and cast a drying charm, then reach for the pins on the table and start fixing her hair.

"Let me do eet," she whispers, her delicate, expert fingers replacing my clumsy ones. I walk over to the wardrobe and extract her wedding outfit, still pristine inside its garment bag. I remove everything and lay it out for her. She picks up the dress and removes her dressing gown. I turn away, averting my eyes. She laughs lightly.

"You can look now," she says. I turn around and actually stagger backwards. She looks incredible. Her hair is intricate and shows off her swan neck. The dress looks even more beautiful in the natural light than it did under the strip lighting of the shop.

Silently, I pick up the diamond chandelier earrings on the dressing table and slide them into feminine earlobes. They throw rainbows onto the walls while we simply look at each other. I lower my head and press my lips to her own. I try to tell her what I can't convey with my fumbling words. For a moment she kisses me back and her hands flutter to go around my neck. Then she pulls away.

"Charlie, we can't do zis," she says, avoiding my eyes. "Bill ees your brother."

"You're the woman I love," I reply, taking her hand. "Please, don't through with this. Come back to Romania with me." She looks up at me and I see a myriad of different emotions in her eyes. I can see written all over her face uncertainty.

"I love Bill," she says, but something in her voice makes it sound like she is trying to convince herself as well as me.

"Really?" I ask. "Then why did you kiss me back?" She bites her lip. I want to try and persuade her just one more time. I kiss her again. This time she definitely kisses me back, her arms around my neck. Then we hear a gasp.

I turn and see a young woman with black hair standing in the doorway staring at us. As we watch she turns and runs down the stairs. I hear sniffing and I see Fleur in tears.

"My cousin Linda ees ze biggest gossip een France," she says, blowing her nose. "She'll tell everyone." I have two choices. I can make myself happy or I can make my brother happy. Mum always tells us that nothing is more important than family. My first girlfriend always encouraged me to occasionally listen to my heart. I make the decision. I take a deep breath.

"Tell them I forced myself on you," I say. "Tell them you didn't want it. Marry Bill and be happy."

"Charlie, why?" she asks.

"Because I love you and I want you to be happy," I whisper, smoothing back a lock of hair from her face. "You will find that with Bill. I'll go back to Romania and be married to my work again. Never forget that I love you." I kiss her forehead. She smiles tearfully at me and leaves. I watch the woman I love walk away from me. She would be just one more girl I'm not getting. But she's a special girl and what happened between us was real. One day, I will make my family see that. One day.