Inspired by When Mountains Fall by Stratovarius.
I'm not really a fan of them, but I heard the lyrics and was like, "Hey, I can put this in a PJO fanfic!" So this was basically molded around the song lyrics.
Also, this is just a filler fic. Meaning, something to keep my readers entertained while I spit out a new story, The Smell of Home. It should be out at least by next week, but no promises.
As usual: Read & Review!
It was just like yesterday,
When you chose to leave and I to stay
It was a warm and sunny day
But my heart felt as heavy as stone
They split because of four words. Four wrong words said at the wrong time. Normally, if she had said those four words, he would have just laughed, patted her head and told her, "Really? Why am I here then?"
But he didn't, because she had said it with brutal honesty.
And it was a lie, a lie she had painstakingly built up, wall by wall, brick by brick, till she made sure that no one could ever catch sight of her heart. She sealed it away, in the middle of a labyrinth, and those who ventured always got lost.
And then he came into her life, all cocky and self-assured, and he saw through the façade none other had seen through before. And she saw through his, saw the self-doubt, the hatred, all the strong walls and the poor lonely soul inside.
She tried to get past his walls, because she wanted to see; to see what someone was truly like when you stripped away their walls. She tried it at first, and really, she didn't know why. She just wanted to know.
And she got inside, which was amazing, because those walls were made of iron and steel that never rusted. And she was astounded, utterly, by all the emotions and the wonderful, brilliant soul he had if he could just let go. Forget the expectations, forget every promise he made and everything he held dear and he would shine the brightest of them all, and truly discover the potential that lay inside.
Then he kissed her, and she found herself kissing back.
Somewhere along the way, when she tried to get inside his walls, he navigated the labyrinth and found the heart she kept hidden and never gave away.
And he was a thief. He stole it away, right under her nose, and never gave it back, not even when he died. He carried it with him to the underworld, even though it was impossible to bring anything into the afterlife, but he did so.
Boy kisses girl, girl kisses back, and the rest, they say, is history.
Four words that she didn't even mean to say had leapt out of her mouth, and ruined a relationship with the boy she gave her heart to.
He stormed out, and she never saw him again until three days later, when she returned to their shared apartment and found him standing at the door, luggage in hand. "You're leaving," she had said, and till this day she was surprised that her voice didn't waver or crack. Instead, she had appeared the perfect image of calm, but inside she was screaming and sobbing and saying, "No! Don't go! You're all that I have left."
"Yes." It was a simple statement. "I'm not necessary, so I'll go. Have fun without me." And he left, just like that.
Now she still hates the sun. You can't shine so brightly, so happily, when I just lost the love of my life! There was a worse thought hovering at the edge of her mind, and she tried hard not to think of it. And I didn't do anything to stop him, let alone say 'I love you' one last time.
Never told me where you went,
Then again I never tried to ask
She hadn't seen him since he left. He was gone just like that, the threads that bounded the two of them torn apart mercilessly.
He was gone, and she never saw him again.
Now I know in life you have one chance
And you better use it well
She had to admit, her life without Percy took some getting used to.
Sometimes, she found herself buying her usual black coffee and a slice of cake or some other treat that he loves. Then she would have to eat the treat by herself.
She doesn't deserve him. She never did. His lopsided smile, sharp features, the way his arms used to wrap around her. The way he was always kind and loyal to a fault, the way he throws his head back and laughs like a kid, high, pure, and carefree.
Now Percy could truly live without her now. Before, he was always bound by her, and he never truly got to live.
Perhaps it was for the best they split after all.
When the mountains fall and the oceans flood
I'm still in search of you
Only thing I want to say—
I'm still in love with you
She can't take it anymore, this empty void, Percy-sized, that she has denied for so many years. She wants him back. She needs him back. She doesn't care if he never forgives her. She just needs to hear his voice.
She calls Percy's mobile phone first.
She waits anxiously as the beeps start, mind running through the things she should say to him. 'Sorry, Percy, I've been wrong all this while. I want you back.' No. That wouldn't do. What about 'Percy, I've—'
The line is silent for a moment, and then a recorded voice tells her, "This line has been disconnected." It starts to say something else, but she hangs up. Is Percy really that determined for her not to find him?
She calls Thalia next. Thalia's Percy's cousin, she had to know something.
"'lo?" Thalia picks up with her usual greeting. "Sup, Annie! I haven't heard from you in ages—"
Annabeth cut her off. "Sorry, Thals, no time for pleasantries. Have you talked to Percy since—" she stops, and a lump rises in her throat. "Since we broke up. Have you?"
Thalia is silent for a long time, until Annabeth is debating whether or not to ask if she's still on the line, and then she finally says, "Call Sally. She'll be able to explain everything better than I can." Thalia's voice seems choke full of emotion, something she rarely shows.
"But, Thals, that conversation will be so awkward!" Annabeth complains.
"If you don't want to do this, you shouldn't have broken up with him."
Annabeth is silent, and Thalia considers that war won and hangs up.
She calls Sally.
"Hi?" Sally picks up, her voice lined with weariness but her voice is as soft and as comforting as ever.
She swallows. This conversation is going to be awkward. "This is Annabeth." Sally is quiet for a while.
"What do you want, Annabeth Chase?" She had never heard Sally being so cold and formal with her, and it hurt.
She swallows the lump in her throat. "Do you know where Percy is?"
Sally pauses. "Present tense?"
"What?"
She hears Sally's sniffles through the phone. "You don't know?" She asks, and there's disbelief in her voice. Her blood runs cold. "He loved you," she says scathingly, and Annabeth doesn't even register the tone of voice Sally uses with her that she never uses, she treats everyone with respect and care—her mind's focused on the past tense. No, goddamn it, no, it can't be, no way in hell—
"He's dead. He died three years ago." Sally says it plainly, as though it should be obvious, and maybe it should be, but Annabeth doesn't care, because it can't be possible, Sally has to be lying. She has to be, but no. Sally doesn't lie. She never does.
Percy's dead.
And her world shatters into pieces, sharp pieces which cut and burn and hurt, but she doesn't care anymore.
Because Percy is dead.
"No, it can't be," she chokes out, even though she know Sally isn't lying. She should have seen the signs earlier, the 'this line has been disconnected', the empty silence when she talked to Thalia, the disbelief Sally had in her voice, everything was right there in plain sight.
Why hadn't she seen it earlier?
"He's dead," she says, voice empty, numb, unfeeling. Two words that had never felt so bitter before, that had never bore so much hatred and shock and disbelief and oh gods, no! With two words, the world, as she knows it, comes crashing down around her.
Then she and Sally both are sobbing into the phone, mourning the loss of the boy they both loved—no, loves, because the truth is, they still do.
"How…h-how did he d-d-die?" Annabeth asks, her voice cracking on the word 'die'.
"Car crash," Sally says softly. "He was on his way to your apartment because he wanted to get together again. Really, your breakup affected him so much he refused to eat for a few days."
Pain roars through her. He died on his way to see her?
Then Sally says, "If you loved him as much as he loved you, why did you break up with him?"
Annabeth tries to fight the urge to drop the phone like it's a hot coal and run away. "I said four words I didn't mean," she chokes out.
"Which are?" Sally's voice is stronger, more curious now.
"I don't need you," she tells her truthfully. "But it isn't true. Oh gods, I tried living without him, I tried so damned hard, but I need him. It was a lie."
The line is silent. Then Sally finally says, after a long pause, "He's buried on the mountain. You know which one, and which cemetery." Sally's voice is full of emotion.
"Thank you." It's not just for the address. It's for everything Sally has ever done for her.
"You're welcome."
Finally I found your place,
Sadly I came three summers late
Now I am sitting by your grave
And I sing this song for you
She arrives at his grave before dawn.
He's buried on their mountain, where they had met for the first time, both attending a mountain hiking expedition Thalia had organized.
The grave's gray and simple, crafted elegantly. On it is the usual:
Percy Jackson
Beloved by family, cherished by friends
You will be missed dearly
She traces each letter and smiles bitterly. Percy would have hated such a boring inscription on his grave.
"Percy, I…" she flails for words. There are so many things she wants to say. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it… "I love you." She says truthfully. "I always have. I never stopped. And I'm sorry I didn't come earlier to visit you. I didn't even know you were dead for the first three years! I'm horrible!" And she sobs on his grave, letting all she'd held in for three years out.
When she's done, she looks closely at the grave. She spots lines and dots on the bottom of the grave that make sense to her. She gasps. Isn't that the code she and Percy used to write with when they wanted to tell the other something but didn't have enough time and didn't want anyone else to decode the message? It was their thing.
She tries to decode the message, but fails. It has been three years, after all. She copies down the message in her notebook, not even questioning who would have put it there.
She stays there as the sun rises and paints the sky shades of violet and red and orange and yellow and rose. It's beautiful.
She sits by the grave and watches. She pretends that Percy's with her, arm around her waist, her leaning on his shoulder, as the sun rises, though she knows it is impossible.
She pretends.
When the mountains fall and the oceans flood
I'm still in search of you
Only thing I want to say—
I'm still in love with you
She finds the paper where she had copied the code down all those years ago, and sits by her desk and decodes the message. Once she has the paper, it is easy, and two minutes later, she sits by the window, reading the message over and over again.
The wind whistles through the open window and it suddenly smells of the sea, though she's nowhere near it. She inhales deeply the scent she hasn't smelt in years and missed so much, and smiles.
She clutches the paper with the completed message to her chest and laughs, high, pure, and free. "I love you too," she whispers to the wind.
She glances down at the paper again.
I forgive you. I love you.
One last thing I have to say—
I'm still in love with you
