Reversal

Rated: PG

Category: Daniel Angst, Jack/Daniel Friendship.

Season: Nine.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Daniel Suddenly Sees His Least Favorite Song In The World In A New Light. (Yes, I finally touched on that certain Elton John song so popular in this fandom. But it's not the story you think it is. It's not a Jack POV, for one thing.)

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I hate Elton John.

Ok, that's not fair. I hate one particular song by Elton John.

This one.

Why, oh why, does the restaurant have to pick right now to play it?

A sigh escapes my lips as I think of how many times I was taunted with this song as a kid.

At least it's loud enough in here that I can mostly tune it out.

Mostly.

I'm almost done here, though, so I decide to just call it a night.

But as I wait for my check, some of the lyrics of the wretched song break through the noise of the other diners and make it into my consciousness.

And they won't leave.

As if I don't know them by heart, they bounce around in my head like crazy balls.

I try to think of other things, but it doesn't work.

And then, somehow, suddenly I don't want to.

While this song has always made me cringe for obvious reasons, I'm struck unexpectedly with a new meaning for it.

I don't even hear the name of the song anymore, even though the chorus is full of it.

It's not about me.

In fact, it couldn't be less about me.

Talk about a reversal in my mind.

I hear bits and pieces of the words, disjointed but making complete sense.

My brother.

Older than me.

Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal?

He's been gone for three months.

I've missed him, but never more than I do now.

I've been able to keep things in check by staying busy with work.

So busy that I can't remember the last time I talked to him.

Has it really been a few weeks already?

How did that happen?

I pay my bill without thought and leave a generous tip for the waitress, then pull on my coat and step into the cold night air.

As I slide into my car, I eye my cel phone, but I still don't reach out to him.

I don't want to bother him.

Why is it so hard to do what feels so right and natural sometimes?

I brush off the feeling of indecision and start the car.

I'm home in twenty minutes.

I shower and change for bed.

Ten minutes later, I pull my blankets over me and try to let sleep take me where it will.

Today was a long day, and turning in early was my only goal when I decided to eat out.

I didn't want to be bothered with making dinner.

I turn out the light, but as the illumination of my room fades, my brain awakens.

I'm just not sleepy. Tired, yes. Sleepy, no.

I debate getting up to get a book or finding something to watch on TV, but as I hesitate to make a decision, my mind entertains itself.

My brother.

Older than me.

Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal?

I smile. There's no sense fighting this. It's still early. There's still time.

I reach over to my bedside table and pick up the phone.

I dial unconsciously.

After three rings, he answers, obviously still awake despite the time difference.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jack."

Guess I won't be turning in early after all.