Title- Green Light
Summary- An extension of the 2x02 diner scene. Follow-up to 'Maybe'. LukeLorelai. Complete.
Status- Complete
Pairings- Luke and Lorelai. Obviously.
Disclaimer- Nothing. I own nothing.
AN- Writers Block Sucks! Hope to update Friends Forever soon.
AN2- You've had to have read my other fic, 'Maybe' to understand some of this one.
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Lorelai and Luke
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-RECAP-
Lorelai walks in. Luke is at the counter filling up ketchup bottles.
LORELAI: Hey.
LUKE: Hey. Why aren't you at your party?
LORELAI: Well that's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.
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LORELAI: I was kind of thinking, and you don't have to, that maybe you could pull yourself away for a second.
LUKE: I'll see how it goes.
LORELAI: Okay. I mean, it's just...it's a really big night for me tonight, and I don't know, it just feels like you should be there.
She pauses, waiting for a reaction of some sorts from him but as his face remains strait and unemotional, she sighs tiredly. "But, you know, you don't have to go, I just thought..." she leaves her sentence hanging, still looking at him with the same hopefulness.
"Why does it feel like I should be there?"
She shrugs before sliding onto one of the stools. "I don't know. I just feel like, well, you're one of my closest friends and I really want you there. Like it'd be wrong without you."
He nods. "Right."
"But, like I said, you don't have to go. I was just offering an invitation."
He's quiet, pretending to think it over. Of course he'll be out there, there's no way he could ever say no to her anyways, especially not when she was looking up at him so hopefully. "Well, I think I might be able to make it out there." he says, trying to sound reluctant.
She looks up at him, smiling. "Really? You sure you don't have any pickles to stock?"
"I'm sure."
"Good." They continue to stay in their respected positions, though. Neither making any move towards the door. "You know, we never really talked about my getting married." she begins.
He shrugs, looking back down at the counter. "What's there to talk about? As long as you're happy, it ends there."
"Oh," she nods, taken aback by him immediate disinterest.
"You are happy, right?" he checks, looking back up at her to stare into her clear eyes, the ones he's always been able to read so easily.
She swallows, put off by the question. "Yeah," she says, sounding unsure, almost questioning. She watches his face twist into concern before adding in a more confident tone, "Yeah, I'm happy. Really happy."
He nods, almost disappointedly. But he covers up quickly with a small smile, the one meant for her and her only. "Good, that's good. You deserve to be happy."
"And that's what I am, happy." she says in an almost sorrowful tone, almost as if she would rather be anything but the happy she already is.
They're both quiet, neither looking at one another directly, only when they think the other doesn't notice. Luke's putting the ketchup bottles back under the counter while Lorelai gazes as his hands. She remembers last December, when her father was in the hospital. Those hands held her, comforted her, albeit uncomfortably, while she cried. But now, she's getting married. She's getting married and he won't get to hold her again because that will be Max's job. He'll be the one holding her while she's crying, cooking her dinner, maybe even fixing up the things that need fixing around the house. And if that happens, what will happen to her relationship with Luke?
Surely she knows they won't just stop being friends altogether, but overtime? Will it happen? Will she soon forget that he was the one feeding them the past six years? Fixing their stuff, helping with yard work, caring for Rory, she wouldn't just forget about it all because there was someone new, right? Of course. Luke, not including Rory or Sookie, is her best friend. They're close, they talk. They'd remain close and they'd continue to talk. Even if she was the one talking and he was always on the listening end. And Luke knows it, too. He has to know it.
"Luke?" she asks, almost frantically, startling him to almost drop one of the Heinz bottles onto the ground.
"Yeah?" he answers, looking up at her in worry.
"You know that this won't change us, right? Me getting married? We'll still be friends, right?"
He nods slowly, unaware of where all this is coming from. "Of course we'll still be friends." he assures, watching as her face and body relax instantly.
"And we'll still be Luke and Lorelai?"
"Unless you were planning on changing your first name, too, then yes." he jokes, confused.
"No," She shakes her head in frustration. "I mean, our friendship won't change, right? We won't change? We'll continue to be the same Luke and Lorelai we were six months ago, seven months ago, eight months ago, before all this was even a thought in my head?"
"Well, it'll be a little different. You probably won't come in as much anymore and I won't be over as much, but yeah we'll still be Luke and Lorelai." he says, watching as her face falls immediately. "Why?"
"Do you remember a conversation we had last year, in October?" she asks, abruptly changing the subject.
"Any specific conversation or just a conversation we had last October?"
"You proposed to me," she reminds him, shifting her seat. "It was just a joke but you proposed, remember?"
He creases his eyebrows. "Vaguely, why?"
"I just," She shrugs, somewhat uncomfortable. "I don't know why but that talk we had, it stuck with me." She laughs lightly. "I can almost remember it word for word."
"Oh?" he asks, sounding intrigued as he leans forward slightly on the counter towards her.
"Yeah," she swallows nervously. "You were kidding around and you asked me to marry you and I said yes."
His head shoots up, eyes wide. "You said yes?" he asks incredulously.
Her eyes widen too, like she can't believe what she said either. "It was a reflex," she defends quickly, hoping to cover up.
"A reflex?" he asks skeptically. She nods timidly, realizing it didn't come out as good as it sounded in her head. "A reflex that has you saying yes to any random proposal, even if it would happen to be Kirk?"
"Yup, I don't know when it started, either. But if someone asks me to marry them, I can't stop myself from saying yes. I really hope Rory doesn't inherit it either."
He smirks. "That's why it took you almost a week to answer your fiancé's proposal; it was a reflex, huh?"
She looks up at him, narrowing her eyes. "Anyways," she begins loudly, but quiets her tone immediately. "After a couple minutes, I said something about me never wanting to marry you."
He narrows his eyes at her, shaking his head slowly. "Why are you telling me this?"
"You were always this possibility to me, you know." she says, doing her best to keep her tone meaningful and sincere. "This huge possibility that I always kept in the back of my mind because I was afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"Ruining what we've always had. This friendship between us, it's always meant so much to me. I could never think what my life would be like without you, Luke." she says sincerely, hoping he'd understand what she was getting at.
He shrugged modestly. "Just a little caffeine deprived."
"You know that's not true." she protests, sounding vehement instantly. "You've never been just the coffee guy; you've always been so much more, to me and to Rory."
He looks away shyly, ducking his head to avoid her gaze. "I know." he says, almost so quiet Lorelai couldn't hear him.
"Good," She pauses. "I guess, what I'm trying to get at, is that while I've thought of dating you and all that stuff, I don't think I could ever risk it. Risk you." she adds, hoping to clarify her feelings as she looks up at him.
He's staring back at her, into her eyes, almost exactly like they had been during the conversation they just were talking about. He breaks the eye contact first though. "Well," he clears his throat. "It's not like you're missing out on anything important."
She eyes him skeptically, but there's still a hint of leftover adoration from their previous staring contest. "I doubt it."
"Lorelai," he begins, unsurely. "You're engaged. You have to stop this. You should be out there, enjoying your party with your fiancé."
"I know." She wrings her hands on the counter, staring at them intently. "I just thought you should know that."
He places his hand over hers, startling her enough to stop. "Its annoying." he says, removing it slowly as she mumbles an apology. "And you didn't need to tell me that. I didn't need to know it."
"I wanted you to, though."
He shakes his head lowly, his eyes shut. "You should go,"
She nods slowly, closing her eyes tight. "You still coming out?"
"I don't know..." he says, watching her warily as she digests this.
"Right," she says quickly, waving him off with a dismissive hand. "No, that's fine. Um, but you know, if you get bored, you can come out. The party will probably still be going on in an hour or two, so you know, only if you're bored-"
"I will," he assures, ceasing her rambling. "I'll finish closing and I'll be out there, I promise."
"Good," she nods, "That's good." She looks around the diner, feeling for the first time awkward and completely out of place. "So, um, I should get going and let you finish up."
"Yeah," he agrees. He watches her as she silently gets up, looking vulnerable and unsure. He feels to blame for that. He clears his throat awkwardly, hoping to gain her attention just as she's about to walk out the door. Curiously, she turns back to look at him, her head cocked to the side. "I just," he scratches at the back of his neck uncomfortably before gesturing to her with his hands. "You know, the feeling's mutual. I don't ever want to lose you either."
A small smile appears on her face. "That's nice to know," she says softly as he shyly returns the smile.
As she goes, he keeps his eyes trained to her from behind the glass of the window. He watches her greet her fiancé with a chaste kiss on the cheek. Watches her take his hand as he leads her towards the dance floor. Watches him whisper something into her ear, causing her to smile.
And now, watching her dance with her soon to be husband, swaying in his arms, he takes comfort in the fact that even though she's dancing with him, she's still keeping her eyes on the diner, on him. Smiling as she notices him notice her. And even if it can't be him holding her, at least he'll be the one in her life no matter what.
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Not how I planned on it ending. But it suffices, I think. Reviews are love.
