ZUTARA WEEK 2012, Day 6: FADED

A Mark of Honor

DISCLAIMER: Avatar: the Last Airbender belongs to Bryke, but Zutara Week belongs to all Zutarians. And I always write in a context where neither Kataang nor Maiko ever happened.

It's my fifth year of Zutara week and though I was late during the actual dates, I did not want a year to go by without my contributing to it. So I decided to post all my entries on the last "special" date for the century – 12-12-12. Better late than never, I hope.

NOTE: Again, this is set sometime before the last four episodes of the series. A bit cheesy and reflective, so hopefully not boring. And again, I've tried to interpret the prompt in as creative a way as I could. Still not sure if it succeeds but hope it is interesting, nonetheless.

"The offer still stands, you know," she said hesitantly, "to heal your scar, I mean, but only if you want me to."

He considered her words for a few moments and then shook his head.

"I don't think that will be necessary," he said gravely, "I've grown to accept it as a part of me now, and it no longer brings as much pain. I know that I can live with it."

She looked at him for a few moments, admiring his strength and courage.

"I think I understand," she said with a smile.

They were sitting together on the porch of the Ember Island resting house where they were currently taking refuge. It was a quiet night with a full moon shining on the ocean as the waves caressed the shore. The others were fast asleep, undoubtedly tired after a long day of training but somehow Zuko and Katara could not sleep. So they decided to have a cup of tea in the middle of the night and simply admire their surroundings until they felt sleepy enough.

This was not the first time this had happened and initially, they had been surprised to see each other up at such a late hour. But after a while, this grew into a little habit of theirs, and they both looked forward to their late night conversations. It wasn't as if they couldn't talk to each other during the day but the schedule was always too hectic for them to have long and meaningful conversations. Katara had come to learn that she shared many things in common with the firebender she had once despised and she found that she greatly enjoyed his company on such lonely hours.

Zuko likewise found a friend and companion in whom he could confide and with whom he could discuss some more serious issues. As friendly and welcoming as Aang and the others were, Zuko did not feel as at ease with them as he did with Katara. After she had forgiven him for his past crimes, a door had been opened for them and he was surprised at how close they had gotten in so short a time. He had earned her trust and now, it was one of the most precious things to him.

This night the topic of his scar had come up and for a few minutes, an uncomfortable silence had fallen between them as they remembered the last time they had discussed his scar, back in Ba Sing Se. It seemed like such a long time ago but Zuko still felt a great sting of remorse for his lapse of judgment there and had begun to apologize to Katara again. She reassured him that they had long moved past what had happened then, and that she wasn't going to retract her forgiveness. Nevertheless, Zuko felt uneasy and the waterbender sensed this. So, trying to lighten the atmosphere somewhat, she repeated her offer to heal his scar.

"It seems like a silly offer now," Katara said, "since I don't have any more of that special water from the Spirit Oasis of the North Pole, but I figured I might still find a way to heal it, or at least to make it fade away a bit."

"I'm sure that with your skills, you would manage something," Zuko replied encouragingly, "and I'm very grateful for your concern, as I should have been back in Ba Sing Se. I never deserved your kindness then and I am still working hard to deserve it now."

"Zuko," Katara began to protest.

"Don't worry, I'm not about to argue with you on this anymore," he reassured her, "you made it clear that you've forgiven me with all your heart and I shall forever be thankful for that. But with regard to my scar, I think I've reached the point where I've learned to accept it as a part of me as a way of coming to terms with my past and with what I've done. And in a way, I'm proud of this scar, when I think about why I got it in the first place. After all, I was standing up for what was right, and people have gotten scars for things a lot worse than that."

Katara nodded and listened carefully. He had told everyone in the group the story about how he got his scar and they had all been shocked and moved by his account, Katara most of all. They had never imagined that the Fire Lord could be such a cruel man, even to his own son, and they all acquired a greater sympathy and admiration for Zuko after that. They all knew that it was probably not an easy story to tell but he had trusted them with it and they felt honored.

Instead of pitying him, Katara had only admired him even more for his courage and his conviction. The more she learned about him, the better she thought of him, and she was only beginning to realize how deep her feelings were growing for the solemn firebender. She was afraid and excited at the same time and wanted only to be able to have more chances to talk to him.

"Besides, it's what I did after I got the scar that I'm not proud of," Zuko continued gravely, "all the horrible, foolish things I did during my banishment, in pursuit of the Avatar, all in order to preserve the state of war and chaos in the world. I was selfish and stupid during those years, destroying everything around me when I should have been trying to change the world for the better."

"Zuko, you shouldn't bear the weight of the world on your shoulders," Katara told him gently, "Aang doesn't do that, and he's the Avatar. If the world is to become a better place, it will happen because people have joined forces and worked together. No one can do it alone."

"I know," Zuko replied, "and that's why I joined the Avatar, to make up for the wasted years."

He put a hand on his scar and stroked it slightly.

"This should be a reminder to me," he said, "that though doing the right thing might hurt a lot, the pain eventually fades away, and what's left is the good that you have done. I no longer think of this as a mark of my disgrace, but on the contrary, a mark of honor, true honor that comes out of doing the right thing, even if it isn't always easy."

"Well said," Katara commended him with a smile, "and there's one other thing you can call it as well."

"What's that?" Zuko asked curiously.

Katara rallied her courage and decided to be a bit daring. She placed her hand on his scar gently, as she did before. He looked at her in puzzlement but did not pull away.

"It's also a mark of beauty," she told him earnestly, "the beauty of your soul that you sometimes refuse to see in yourself and that you mustn't ever forget, because everyone else who knows you has seen already seen it."

And before Zuko could find the words to thank her for this, Katara leaned in closer and tenderly placed a kiss on his cheek, right below his scar.