Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J.K.Rowling does. I don't own the song this is based on. Linkin Park does.
This is the result of me listening to Linkin Park on a very boring night. Dedicated to Heenie, even though she's away and left me to be bored and write this songfic.
What was I supposed to do? My whole life I had refused to be one of those girls guys beat up on. I refused. I told myself how wrong it was and how I would never bring it upon myself. Just as my mother had always told me, we make our own decisions, we can get out.
I
cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
I've said this before, every day for the past 10 years of our marriage. It had started off so well, our marriage. You were sweet and I was blindly in love. That was the problem, never be blind. Always look ahead of you, see the signs.
All
these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
I was ignorant. I ignored the signs, locked them in a box and threw them away with my past. Threw them away with my family. Threw them away with Harry. You told me never to see them again so I did what I was told. If only I had seen the signs.
Less
I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway
Every night after I put Jamie to bed, I would block you out. Block out all the negative yelling. I should've seen after only 2 years of being married how angry you can get. How I would be the one you would cast it upon. I let myself take it. But I swore I would never let Jamie see how you treated me. Thanks to you, now she knows. She knew when she was 5 and would ask mummy why daddy would do that. What could I say?
Everything
you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
I'm at the edge of everything I can take. Every damn word you say brings me closer to were I will stop. But I live for Jamie, not you. Always Jamie.
And
I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
I'm hardly breathing anymore. If I breathe, it's one more moment I take in the pain. Every single day I subject myself to this but I do nothing. I just want to scream.
Cause
I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I'm at the edge and I'm slipping off. Every night I sit in my room waiting for you to come home. Every night I wait for the pain in my large, square bedroom on my large, ugly bed. I hate this house and everything about it. Stupid Suburban houses in stupid Suburban neighborhoods. They think everything is okay. Damn muggles, shows how much they know.
I
find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to
disappear
There are no answers anymore. Well, none for me. This was not my fairytale ending. Dean is not my knight in shining armor riding up on a big, white horse. But I choose this, it was my decision. I could've chosen Harry. He was my knight but I refused him. I refused everything I was meant to have. There must be a way to disappear.
All
these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
You're yelling at me. I sit in ignorance. Jamie is upstairs in her room but I just sit here in thoughts of what could've been. I sit here through the yelling. I sit here through the beatings. All I can do is sit and take it. I used to be so strong. Well that time is long gone.
Nothing
seems to go away
Over and over again
It's my turn to scream. I'm not taking it anymore. Harry would be appalled if he saw me, his Ginny, being treated this way.
"GO AWAY!" I scream over and over again, pushing you out of my face, getting you away from me, away from Jamie. The next thing I see is the fist I detest, the hand I hate.
Every night after that is the same. I stand up for myself and end up with a bloody face. There is only one way out.
I grab up my wand in one hand, Jamie's arm in the other and do the thing I should have done a long time ago, leave.
A split second later and upon seeing the Burrow for the first time in 10 years, I'm dawned with the all too familiar feeling, guilt. I can't just take Dean's daughter. I have to get back. But instead I give one hug to my shaking daughter and knock on the door, only to be wrapped up in my mothers hug. I burst out crying.
The next few days are a blur. Dean arrived to take me back but Harry, who had come with Ron and Hermione, knocked him down and told him to… well you get the idea.
Ron and Hermione take the liberty in rescuing my things from the house I shared with Dean while Jamie is smothered by my mother. I feel guilty again. 10 years I had deprived my mother of her grandchild. I'm ashamed.
XXXX
The scars heal and so do I. Jamie will never really understand but at Hogwarts she is happy and safe. As for me, the years passed slowly but I healed. I became Ginny again. Dean became a drunk and wrote to me several times, Harry sorted that out.
Harry rescued me just as he always did. I had always loved him, I was just blinded and conned. But I recovered. We started to date again, getting back to the basics. It grew over the years. Harry is the best man I want in my daughters' life, and especially mine.
I got my fairytale.
Hope you enjoyed.
Read and review because I know you all want to. Love feedback.
