A Gray Spot for Her Majesty

Disclaimer/Author's Note: Unfortunately, I have never had ownership of the White Star Line or related to anything remotely similar to it. I am not a descendant of one of these people sadly; so I will never know the real truth. All I can give you is the facts I have found and a brief glimpse of the Titanic's thoughts as she sailed her first and last trip.


Wednesday

April 10, 1912

12: 00 PM

Southampton, England

In all of the world, nothing had been so marvelous. A Ship of Dreams, the Unsinkable, the Irish Rock…so many names for one so big a ship.

Titanic

Thousands of people gathered at her pier just to see her splendor and beauty; awed at the sheer magnificence and strength she stood for. Yes, she represented them all. Built by those who were weak, homeless, starving, and most of all, ill fated; their strength and spirits were poured into her walls, her beams, her rooms; everything had been theirs and at last she had been completed. Their hope of crossing over into the new world had been built at last. So many things she had stood for; Freedom, Hope, Dreams, Love, Liberty, and above all else, her everlasting Spirit. Everything was golden; no black or gray or white.

She was the guardian of her passengers; the mother of souls about to embark on their first journey, and the pacifier of man and the sea. She was grand in all ways; the light of the sun shining on her in blessing as the yells, screams, and whispered goodbyes were uttered by her side. The newly appointed officers and crew welcoming the people with smiles and open arms. The sheets, dishes, china, furniture beckoning to them with the knowledge and encouragement of dreams, memories, and adventures. She gleamed pure with the white, mysterious with the black; and chuckled giddily with her red and black stacks of charcoal steam. The paint was fresh, the places set; everything was ready.

Frantic waving of arms and hands, fingers strumming the air as the rich class, the middle class, and the poor all boarded her with deep admiration and promises to fulfill their lives to their utmost potential. Taking everything they owned, they walked onward and proceeded to run to the top deck; "A" deck and bid their farewells to the world they had known.

The captain had smiled at them, beaming with pride at the expectations of the ship and its people; his first captain standing by him as he glanced at his captain with the same kind of emotions too. Timeless was this moment; forever in their grasp. Photos and articles published around the clock; stories being told already as to how the ship would function. Relics without meaning coming into shape.

The air was electric with excitement and passion, the sky full of blooming white clouds and sunshine gleaming through each crack and peak of the lofty shapes; the sea sparkling deep and green with streaks of blue shining in the bay. There were no tears; only smiles and hearts full of something so profound it was unreal; adrenaline pumping through each and every one of them as they continued to shout and move vigorously.

Slowly, the ship was brought out of the bay on gentle waves; a tug boat with massive ropes dragging her out to the channel a few miles away from the port. From there, the engines were slowly brought to life for the first time, moving the Titanic out of range and out of sight as she sailed on towards her destination. Slowly, the crowds watched as the ship became only a mere dot on the now open sea. However, the people left and the crowds dissipated as the Titanic was now lost to them; never to come home.

Later that evening, the great ship stopped at Cherbourg, France; coming for the last batch of passengers that were to sail across the icy Atlantic and on towards New York City, America. Familiar faces and emotions were combined into one as people bid their farewells. The pride in Titanic had not stopped. Everywhere, her tail was told. The largest man-made, moving vessel this world had seen; the highest of high. She left once more and headed out to sea; her beckoning was ringing in all their ears.

Her last stop had been Queenstown, Ireland; the loving land where she had come from. Picking up more passengers there, the families also waving at their priceless work of construction and dedication. Once more, she drifted out of the bay by force and was sent on her way to another destination. Setting sail at last for her first real maiden adventure; the Titanic was had made it to the Atlantic by Thursday; April 11, 1912 at 1: 30 PM in the afternoon.

Traveling only at 22 knots, the great ship was loved by all and adored by those who kept up with Titanic's adventures. An endless blue lay at her finger tips; the sparkling depth of the icy waters welcoming her with open arms. The mother ocean was a loving mother; cruel with punishment and yet fair in judgment. She too, marveled at man's great strength and imagination; inventing a ship that brought luxury and comfort as well as speed and adversity.

Equipped with powerful instruments, skillful tools for use, and enough manpower for an entire army; the ship was truly the greatest marvel that had ever existed.

The weather had been fair; the sun shining every day, the clouds billowing as the wind blew sea, birds, flags, hats, and masses of colorful hair of men, women, and children as they stood on her decks, watching as the sea went by them in mere minutes; their excitement bubbling in them that was equivalent to that of the most joyful batch of children in the world.

However, it would not end that way…

On Sunday; April 14, 1912; the fifth day at sea, the captain received five messages from a nearby ship about icebergs that were floating in the area. Ignoring the pleas, the captain sailed on; all the knowledge he had gained was gone in a matter of seconds as the pressure from Mr. Ismay; the director in charge of the White Star Line to come to a speed more faster as to surprise the people of New York by arriving there a day ahead of schedule. Whatever the reason; it was time for one of man's greatest monuments to finally meet its end.

Between 11:20 and 11: 40 PM, an iceberg was spotted by a look out in the crow's nest of the Titanic, phoning immediately to the captain of the approaching danger. The wireless operator of the Titanic, unfortunately; had not received the message before hand by any of the other nearby ships about the iceberg. The sea was unusually calm; no ripples or movements indicating that the iceberg had been floating at all. A trap set for the innocent maiden as she made her way straight for the block of ice.

The crew and officers had tried to put the engines in reverse so as to steer the ship away from the icy block that threatened to destroy her dreams. There were only thirty seven seconds left to warn them all. However, they were too late…

The bow of the Titanic hit the iceberg dead on, creating dents in the side as water began to splash in; making the gap become bigger as the Titanic sailed away from the berg; water spilling into the five compartments in just minutes. The pain washed into her; gutting her whole and leaving no room spare. Above on board, people had come out to see the commotion. Ice from the fallen pieces of the iceberg landed on the deck and people began to kick them around; sliding it across the deck, playing a sort of "ice-soccer". They never knew…

Soon, Mr. Andrews; the chief designer of Titanic, became informed of the collision and set out to talk with the captain about the damage. With the five compartments filled with water at the bottom of the Titanic; it was only a matter of time before she began to sink. He informed the captain that they only had an hour, maybe two at the most. He never saw land again. Around 12:05 AM on Monday; April 15, 1912; the captain ordered that the lifeboats be uncovered. However, there were only 32 lifeboats on board; the White Star Line had not backed the order of there being more lifeboats on the Titanic and had thought the ship's decks would be too cluttered.

Only half the lives on Titanic would be saved…

At 12:10 AM, a distress signal was sent out to the Olympic, the Frankfurt, and the Carpathia. The Carpathia was the closest to the Titanic, 58 miles away from it. The last message was sent at 1: 45 AM "Engine room full up to boilers". At 2:05 AM, the wireless operators were released. It was not enough…

12:25 AM; the Order was given to put "women and children" into lifeboats were given out to all passengers. Frightened mothers, daughters, wives, sisters, aunts, cousins, and grandmothers were given over to the officers. Crying, screaming, yelling, calling out names; reaching with fingers, hands, arms, emotions, hearts for the ones they loved. The men they knew they were leaving behind called out to them, tearing at them with tearful goodbyes, their heartfelt touches, their lingering words. Echoing, pulsing throughout each one. The Titanic wept with them for their goodbyes and separation; for she too was saying goodbye.

12:45 AM; The first lifeboat, No. 7 was first to be lowered into the icy ocean as people screamed and ran; fear coursing through them as their ship of dreams suddenly became a ship of nightmares. People were shot at, trying to be kept in lines as panic drove them over the edge; life itself seeping away from them. The ship felt the hundreds of footsteps running over her decks; terror laced through each step that hit the remaining ground of her deck. She had tried to be strong for them, lead them to the new world they had dreamed so hard about. But now; now, there was no hope, no endless dream that could save them…she cried out.

12:55 AM; First rockets were fired, sending flares into the air. They sparkling shine sent into the black abyss of the sky as the stars looked on silently, dimming as if to shy away from the proverbial deaths that were about to happen in only a matter of time. The water reflected the blackness of the sky, icy blue swirling in its depths at the promise of freezing cold and endless suffering. But, there was only more screaming, more fear, more panic, more suffocation; more steps taken towards death. The last rockets were fired at 1: 40 AM.

From 12: 25 AM to 2:20 AM; Lifeboats were continually sent out, however; it would only cause more grief in the end…She never stopped weeping.

At the dreadful hour of 2:20 AM on Monday; April 15, 1912; the Titanic sank beneath the waves. The water had spilled "back and back, over each deck" until it was flooded. The water had crept slowly into each hall and room; as if slowly tracking its prey. Then, when the pressure had become unbearable; the water gushed forth and destroyed everything in site; it had claimed its reward, the Titanic.

Those who were not able to get on lifeboats were left in the water; freezing to death from the unbearable conditions and hypothermic sickness. They had tried to seize lifeboats, trying to turn them over or gain entry but all was in vain. Screams echoing in the night of the pain, anguish, torment, and suffering as people were crushed either by the sinking of the ship or by each other. Their deaths slow and agonizing as they called out to each other, to loved ones they would never see again, to their God to save them and spare them. They waited for the one thing that would never come; absolution.

People who had not been able to get onto a boat or did not want to die by plunging into the water went back into their rooms and waited for the icy water to come to them. Mothers telling stories to their children, married couples staying together, family members huddling, friends talking; all together for the last time. Clothes, furniture, suitcases, luggage, dolls, pictures, portraits; everything that was theirs was destroyed and preserved…never to be awoken until decades later…

The captain had stayed on board; the early retirement never coming for him as he went down with the ship, welcoming the sea and never leaving her as a true sailor should…To the sea he had gone, hearing her beckon him once more just as she had called him all those years ago when he had been young. Locking himself in the room that contained the helm of the once mighty ship, he waited to have his last conversation with the sea. Afterwards, the captain could only watch and feel as the windows crashed in around him and frigid, blue water surrounded him; still standing by the helm as the sea took her faithful sailor with her.

The Titanic had been split down at the keel of the ship, wailing as the terror ripped through the people; the sound of it like thunder rolling into the ears of those who remained behind. After it broke away, the keel stayed a float in the water for a few moments until it sank as well…The wreckage of the ship landing a half a mile away from where it had struck the berg.

Bodies floated in the water, never again to feel pain. The numbing sensation spreading through them before they fell into absolute oblivion. Blue with ice as the sea took them and let their bodies swirl down gently to an empty grave; pale, ghostly, empty eyes staring forever up at the sky, looking for something or someone to save them…

705 people were picked up by Carpathia by 8:30 AM on Monday; April 15, 1912 and were brought to New York City Harbor on Thursday; April 18, 1912.

At the beginning, there had been 2, 220 people on board the Titanic; despite the fact that the ship could've held more passengers. 1,523 had been left behind in the freezing Atlantic; left to drown in their own deaths.

After arriving in the harbor; the press was all over the story of the great maritime tragedy. Family members, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles; crying, yelling, screaming, reaching out for the ones they had lost…never to come home to them. Although, the story of Titanic has been told around the world; the only true story will be known by those who survived and experienced the whole sinking itself.

Nature…has a way of putting man back in its place; demonstrating to them time after time that they will never be the true masters of the world. Though while cruel in this act; the sea was only acting upon this vow. The Titanic was man's greatest accomplishment in that era; making them the top of all other beings. Their dreaming and strength poured into the vessel that had sailed triumphantly at first and then ending in tragedy. The sea, in the end, hadn't been cruel; but merely righteous in seeking that it prove once more who was truly the supreme best in the world. The people on board the Titanic had thought themselves to be invincible, convinced that they would be safe on board the luxury liner. Though they had been cocky and careless with their ways; their deaths were not necessary. However, the sea is not merciless when she is taunted and will not rest easily in the souls of those whom she hungers and calls for.


For those who perished, I dedicate this poem to you…

The Sea and Her Ways

Bluer than sapphires and deepest of eyes;

Many of fortune and race were of her cost

Grey like her foes and small like of her spies,

Mistress of cruelty and mother of lost.

Dormant by time and lost without a find;

Treasures more precious than life are gold

To many she is deaf whilst to me is kind,

Stories of legends were of countless bold.

White foam blooms and flows like blood through my veins;

As she takes with her works of wood and craft

Stabs the wounds and causes much of old pains,

Silver clouds billow as winds of old draft.

My treasure love for her remains my true

Which is why I'll always answer to blue.


For those who died, may you rest knowing your stories have been passed on; your legends told, and your identities forever known. I am truly sorry that you experienced such terror and anguish, pain taking over you as you went down. But now, you rest in the place where you have found peace. May you remain in God's good graces, forever watchful of those who are lost at sea like you once were.

I was touched deeply by this tale when I was a little girl. Later on in my life, I had not come to terms to how much it would mean to me. It now holds a special place in my heart; forever holding the pain and joy that it had once gave. My love for Titanic is wide and deep, like the icy depths it now sits in. It exists now as a part in my soul; I don't necessarily know if I had in some way; had a past life on that ship some how but I know it has changed me forever. I now wish to live by the sea when I am older; hoping to one day travel to the places it had docked in and perhaps, if I am so fortunate sometime before I die; I would love very much to visit the site as to where it sank. I now, live only in the hopes and waiting to see her if only once.

Though the story of Titanic continues to grow and spread to every generation; there will be places in the hearts of those who are truly touched by all this ship represented and destroyed.

And though the sea is still deep and blue; there will always be a gray spot in her where the Titanic now lies…


To some, I know this doesn't seem like much of a story. For many, they already know these facts…but for me, it has a deeper meaning. Today is the 93rd anniversary of Titanic's sinking; in about 7 years, it'll have been a full century since it last saw daylight. For the few here on this website that are true fans and historians of Titanic, I hope this factual story is to your liking…

Later Peeps!

P.S. This fic was actually updated on April 14, 2005 at 11:40 PM (Eastern Time) in memorial of the time and date of the Titanic's encounter with the iceberg that led her to her doom.