A/N: For those of you who've been waiting for it, THIS is the reason why Lizzie never accepted Derek and Casey in the Crazy Game trilogy. I rated it M for language and bizarro behavior. It's short, for sure, and hopefully intense. Enjoy!

You think you know me. To you, I'm a quiet, athletic child, sexless, almost androgynous. How can I not be, with a sister like Casey? She's all woman: long hair, perfect body, dance, cheerleading. And then there's me, Lizzie: curly hair, karate, boys' clothing. Sometimes, I think my mother wanted a boy; when she didn't get one, she chose me to play one. She has a boy now. Gavin. My baby brother. Maybe I can finally start acting like a girl.

Don't think that I haven't thought like one for a while. Remember that fit I threw at the beginning of the school year? Of course you do. There was no way I was going to start grade 7 in boys' shorts. Would you? Of course you wouldn't.

Or maybe you would. Maybe you would use your athleticism and tomboyish-ness to get closer to that one person that you can't stop thinking about. Maybe you would excel at various sports and bring home ribbon after ribbon, just to catch the attention of that one person. And maybe, just maybe, you would try out for a loathsome sport just so that you can get a little one-on-one time with that one special person.

Oh, who am I talking about?

Like you don't know. Derek.

I have loved Derek since the day we moved in with the Venturis. I was 10, he was 15, and he was so cute. His green eyes full of laughter and his fluffy brown hair … I didn't know what hit me. A little thrill ran through me, spread throughout my entire body.

But from Day One, it was all about Casey with him. Casey this and Casey that. "Oops, I got locked in a bathroom with Casey!" "Oops, I hurt Casey's ankle!" "What, I have to dance with Casey in some stupid competition? That I, oops, fucked up for her?" Had it been me in that bathroom all those years ago, you know what I would have done. I would have laid down on top of him, covered in shampoo, and I would have kissed him, hard.

Instead, I was hiding with Edwin. God bless him, he's a nice guy, but he's not Derek. Derek is braver, stronger. He smells better. Frankly, he's even funnier than Edwin … OK, not like that wasn't obvious. There's just something about that man.

And that's the problem, you see? Because he's a man, and I'm a girl. A 13-year-old girl, and there's just something illegal about that. Let's not mention the fact that he's my stepbrother. Or the fact that he's fucking my sister.

Oh, you heard me right. My sister, little Miss Perfect Casey McDonald, is doing Derek Venturi. Our stepbrother.

Or maybe she's not, I don't know. But she told me a few days ago that she and Derek were dating, and that sickens me. I told her in so many words that I thought so, but I made up some bullshit reason why. "Ew, Casey, he's our brother. You can't date your brother." I didn't have to tell her that the reason it sickens me because I wanted to be there first.

I knew I wouldn't be his first. God knows how many people he's been with. I mean, we know about Sally and Kendra, and we can assume that Vicki got a slimy claw or two into him, but what about the women before we moved in? What about those random one-nighters that we have to assume he had? There was that Sandra girl, and Emily … I can't even think of the rest. Just the one stands out: Casey.

I told her once, you know, how cute I think he is. She just told me that everyone thinks he's cute, including himself, and that thinking someone is cute doesn't mean that you like-like them. I probably should have realized that she was trying to talk herself out of liking, and subsequently dating, him.

She didn't, obviously. Now they're together, doing God knows what. And it's just so fucking perfect, you know that? Casey, once again, got what she wanted.

Well, you know what? It's my time. I'm going to get what I want. And no one is going to stop me.

I will, some day, one way or another, get Derek Venturi.

A/N: So? Lizzie is basically obsessed with Derek! Who knew, right? I meant this as a one-shot, but if this storyline needs a little more explanation, I can definitely do it. Hope you enjoyed it!