I do not own Jane or Maura(they belong to Tess Gerritsen and TNT)…nor do I own the song, "She's More"(sang by Andy Griggs). Lyrics are in italics. The only thing I own is my imagination!
Jane had been sitting alone in her condo for the past hour, listening to a song on repeat and thinking. She was unsure how she came across the country tune, as she rarely listened to the genre; however the song seemed to fit her life and her feelings.
So it took me by complete surprise
When my heart got lost in those deep green eyes
She's not at all what I was looking for
She's more
She also couldn't help the tears that escaped, wishing she could actually call the person she was thinking of and declare her love without fear of rejection and losing the one person who meant the world to her.
Now, Jane Rizzoli is no chicken shit. She's a badass detective at work, and a protector of those she loves. When it comes to emotions and mushy stuff however, Jane tends to keep that inside and run instead. Her best friend, Maura, is the only person to even semi break down that wall and get to see the vulnerable Jane. The person who is often terrorized by nightmares, the person who loves hard but is always put on the back burner.
Maura…..
The name goes through her mind as she tears up again. If Maura knew how Jane really felt…how much she truly cared for and loved her. Jane's biggest fear was letting her guard down and actually admitting to Maura exactly how she felt, fear of the disgusted look in the honey blonde's eyes when she realizes her only best friend is actually in love with her. So, she keeps pretending that her feelings don't exist. Keeps her walls up and guarded.
Until now.
Jane had no idea Maura had noticed how down she seemed to be today at work. She thought she was keeping up her façade pretty well, considering. She failed to see how Maura kept looking at her, checking to see just what was bugging her detective.
And she had no idea Maura would show up at her condo unannounced.
So needless to say, Jane's mouth dropped open when her door suddenly flew open and Maura dashed inside. She couldn't react fast enough to turn the music off before Maura heard a few lines of the song.
"Jane….I knocked several times but you never answered. I could hear the music and figured you couldn't hear me knocking, so I used the key. I hope that's okay." The ME said, watching her friend cautiously.
Maura knew to approach the detective with caution, especially when she was given the deer in headlights look. As she listened to the song that had just started over, she looked at Jane curiously.
I like blue eyes
hers are green
Not like the woman of my dreams
Jane scrambled to turn off her iPod and quickly wiped away her tears, hoping Maura hadn't noticed.
Jane underestimated her best friend though. Maura had seen the way Jane's shoulders were slumped when she entered, she had seen the unshed tears in her eyes, and the tear trails down her face. She had also seen the embarrassment on her friend's face when she had walked in and caught her listening to a song. Now she knew she had to proceed with caution so that Jane wouldn't metaphorically run.
Jane kept her back to Maura for a few minutes, composing herself, while the ME made herself comfortable on the sofa. Once Jane felt semi-composed, she joined her best friend, sitting on the opposite side of the sofa.
"Jane….is something wrong? You haven't seemed like yourself all day today. You didn't come by my office at lunchtime, nor did you inform me when you were leaving like you usually do. Korsak had to come by and tell me you had left for the day. Did I do something to make you upset?"
"God, no Maura! I've just had a lot on my mind, things I need to think through."
"Is that why you're sitting here in semi-darkness listening to a song over and over again? And since when do you listen to country? I thought it was heavy metal or hard rock all of the time for you?"
Jane looked away, once again embarrassed at being caught.
Grasping at her friend's hand and softly caressing the scars, Maura softly whispered, "Hey….there's no need to be embarrassed. I'm not teasing, I'm just wondering what's going on in that head of yours."
Jane sighed, willing away the tears that were threatening to fall. She was already having a harder time keeping up her façade anyway, and now Maura was making things even harder.
"Jane…whatever is going on, you know you can tell me anything. I'm your best friend!"
"That's the problem." Jane mumbled under her breath.
"What's the problem? Why do you feel this is something that you cannot tell me when you usually feel comfortable to tell me anything else. What is so different this time?"
Jane sighed heavily. "It's now or never Rizzoli" she thought to herself as she walked back over and pressed play on her iPod.
The song filled the room again, and Jane sat back down on the sofa. She remained on the opposite side from Maura, refusing eye contact.
Maura listened to the lyrics of the song, looking at Jane confused until she started to put two and two together. The woman described in the song sounded oddly like herself in many ways…and made her wonder if maybe, just maybe, Jane was as in love with her as she was with Jane.
"Jane….Jane look at me."
The brunette slowly lifted her head, eyes still refusing to meet Maura's. Maura slowly moved closer to Jane, taking her hands in hers once again.
"Jane, you know I don't guess. Does this song mean what I think it means?"
With tears flowing quietly, Jane finally lifted her eyes to meet Maura's. She cleared her throat before whispering, "If you think it means I love you, then yes."
She dropped her head again, waiting for Maura to run, slap her, or at least curse her. She didn't expect the blonde to move in, lift her chin up, and gently kiss her on the lips. Nor did she expect her friend to stand, help her up, and pull her close for a slow dance.
Maura leaned into Jane's forced embrace and sighed, taking in the scent of the detective. As they swayed to the music, she whispered into Jane's ear the sweetest words the brunette had ever heard. "I love you too, and I have for a long time."
The end
