Welcome to the first chapter of my first ever fan-fiction. At the start of this year, I started reading Total Drama fan-fiction, and was impressed by the amount of high-quality fan-fics on this site. Starting in February, I planned out a story called "Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater", but decided to put off the actual writing until the school year ended. Well my first year of College ended a few weeks ago, but since my family is moving, I spent last week packing. But now that I am on vacation, I finally have a chance to tell the story I have been planning since the year began.
As you most likely know, I do not own the rights to the Total Drama cartoon.
Episode 1, Part 1: Candy For Your Thoughts
The voice of Chef Hatchet narrates: "Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island, that scrawny little bubble boy won the prize money and Chris finally got what was coming to him when he got arrested for turning Camp Wawanakwa into an environmentalist's worst nightmare!
Now the 5th season of Total Drama is being planned, but we ran into a problem with our producers: our contract says that each season needs at least 26 episodes before we can start a new one! But Chris is still in prison, and the island is still quarantined. Not to mention, Chris blew most of the budget on building that Monument to himself.
So with a tiny budget and a lack of time for planning challenges, we will be taking ideas from Total Drama Fan-Fiction for new challenges. And since Chris won't be out of prison for another few months, I will be hosting. You got a problem with 'that?! Didn't think so. So sit down, shut up, and look forward to 24 competitors competing on Season 4.5: Total. Drama. Fan-Fiction Theater!"
We see Chef standing outside the abandoned film lot from Total Drama Action. He turns to the camera and tells the audience: "Welcome to Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater, where over the course of at least 13 episodes, 24 teenagers will be competing for 750,000 dollars. 21 of these teens have competed on the show before, while 3 of them are newcomers to Total Drama. And here they come."
A bus drove up to the film lot to drop off the competitors. As the first few teenagers got off the bus, Chef introduced them. "Say hello to the super geek, Harold."
Harold stepped off the bus, carrying his keyboard, and asked the chef turned host, "Chef, how can we have a 13 episode season with over 20 competitors? Don't you realize that's too many? Gosh!"
"Shut up Harold!" Chef snapped at him. "This season was rushed into production at the last minute, and we didn't have time to plan the most efficient season! Besides, we may have more than 13 episodes if our ratings are solid."[1]
"You don't have to yell Chef." Harold replied before adding "Idiot!"
Chef rolled his eyes at Harold's response, but didn't say anything else to him, instead introducing the next three teens to get off the bus. "And here are Harold's fellow band members: Trent, Justin, and Cody."
'The guitarist, model, and geek got off the bus, and looked around at their surroundings. Trent looked at his surroundings and declared: "It's cool to compete in another season, although I would have preferred to do it somewhere else."
"I know exactly how you feel" Justin told his friend, "I also got my heart, plus most of my bones, broken at this film lot. [2]"
As a certain purple-haired fan-girl stepped off the bus, Chef said "Here is Cody's number one fan and stalker, Sierra."
Cody responded to Chef's description by saying: "Hey Chef! Sierra isn't a stalker anymore! Ever since season 3 ended, we've been on good terms, and she hasn't stalked me since. [3]" Cody then turned to Sierra, whose hair had grown back, hugged her, and said: "How's my best friend been?"
Sierra responded by saying: "Things have been so great Cody! All of my blogs have gotten more views ever since I competed on World Tour! Plus I have started many more blogs, including one that chronicles all the stuff I saw firsthand on World Tour; plus I also have blogs for all the contestants from season 4. But the best thing that has happened to me is all the fan-mail I've gotten and all the fan-sites that I've read. The fact that some people consider me their favorite Total Drama contestant makes me feel so…EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Chef, Harold, Trent, Justin, and Cody covered their ears as Sierra continued to squeal with joy.
"Oh, wonderful, you have so many fans", a raven haired teenager with a golden tooth said sarcastically. "You do know that you also have a ton of haters right?"
"You're totally qualified to say that", an Indian teenager said even more sarcastically. "After all, you have, like, no haters."
"Shut up maggots!" Chef snapped at them. "Don't step off the bus before I introduce you. Anyway, the next two to arrive are the queen of mean, Heather, and everyone's favorite deadpan snarker, Noah."
"Really?" Noah asked snarkily. "I thought I was everybody's least favorite deadpan snarker."
"Oh dear, looks like we've got a sarcasm overload here." Said the next contestant to arrive, Duncan.
"I know dear." Said the next contestant to arrive, Gwen. "And luckily we can help out with this situation."
Chef sighed. He was slightly annoyed at the prospect of putting up with a bunch of snarky teenagers, as written by a snarky young-adult. "It looks like the next contestant to arrive is Bridgette."
Sure enough, the surfer girl got off the bus and high-fived the contestants who had arrived, before hugging Gwen. "It's been quite some time! How have things been going Gwen?"
Gwen smiled. "Things are going great. Sure, there's been a few lows in the last few months, but I'm doing great! Duncan got me a copy of "The Nightmare Before Thanksgiving" on DVD for our 11 month anniversary. It's actually a really rare movie, so Duncan went through a lot to get it for me. How are thing's with Geoff?"
Bridgette smiled. "Awesome. Actually, just last week Geoff threw a porcupine-themed party and you'll never guess what-"
"Excuse me." Chef said in a calm yell. "Is this Fan-Fic titled 'Non-relevant conversations about stuff that won't be important to the plot?'"
"Actually, I'm pretty sure it's titled 'Wow Chef, you're kind a hypocrite.'" Gwen retorted.
"Whatchu talkin' about sassy girl?"
"I'm assuming she's talking about the narration text up there." Noah interjected while pointed up. "The one that says 'He was slightly annoyed at the prospect of putting up with a bunch of snarky..."
"STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!" Chef yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Wonderful." Heather remarked. "More hypocrisy."
"Look..." Chef sighed, "This story is getting off track! Let's cut the sarcasm and fourth-wall jokes and focus on the point of this story!"
"I'm pretty sure those two things ARE the point of this story." Duncan quipped.
"SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE YOU NO-GOOD LAZY SMART-ALECK!" Chef screamed.
After a brief commercial break, Chef Hatchet had regained his composure.
"Give a warm welcome everyone's favorite Jersey girl; Anne Maria!" She didn't address any of the contestants because she was too busy applying her hair-spray.
Once Anne-Maria was finished, Leshawna stepped off the bus, wearing a gas-mask. "Praise the Lord! That chick ain't suffocating me with that foul stench anymore!"
Anne-Maria frowned. "Way to over exaggerate sistah. Also were did ya get dat gas-mask?"
"I gave it to her." Cameron said, stepping off the bus, taking off his gas-mask. "Also, Leshawna wasn't exaggerating. With the amount of hair spray you were applying in the enclosed space, it is highly probably that we would have start suffocatin-"
Cameron's speech was interrupted by a can of hair-spray hitting him on the head. "Put a sock in it egg-head!"
"Sheesh! Somebody's cranky." Gwen noted.
"And I think I know why." Duncan said as he pointed to the two contestants who exited the bus holding hands.
"Say hello to Total Drama's newest and happiest couple, Mike and Zoey!" Chef introduced.
"You looking forward to the competition?" Zoey asked her boyfriend.
"Sure, but not as much as I'm looking forward to dating you!" Mike responded. Anne Maria growled like an enraged wild animal.
Gwen frowned and said "Sheesh, she's almost as angry as..."
"The former C.I.T Courtney!"
Courtney stepped off the bus, not looking up from her P.D.A. "Speak of the devil." Gwen remarked.
Courtney looked up from her P.D.A. and screamed "What did you call me boyfriend kisser!?"
Gwen responded "I didn't call you anything! I was just using a figure of speech!"
Courtney went back to looking at her P.D.A. as she muttered "Of course you were."
"All right! It's time to show of my mad skills!" Yelled a voice getting off the bus. As you probably guessed, it was Tyler. Unfortunately as he was attempting to step off the bus, he tripped and fell into an open man-hole that was right in front of the bus.
Duncan laughed. "Ha! More like bad skills!"
"That's a solid quip." Said the next contestant to arrive, Jo. She then walked around the open man-hole remarking "Why would you park this bus right in front of an open man-hole?"
"Because the driver is an idiot?" Harold interjected.
"Because the writer is an idiot?" Noah commented.
"Sheesh, it was just a rhetorical question guys!" Jo said.
A crazy redhead jumped out of a window of the bus. "I know why! It's a conspiracy by the mole people to harvest young athletes through holes and use them for slave labor!"
Noah chuckled. "I missed Izzy."
Cameron hid behind Zoey. "Nobody told me that she would be coming back!"
"Don't worry about Izzy, little guy!" Said Owen, who was the next contestant to step off the bus. "She may seem scary. But she's all bark and no bite. Wait...She does sometimes bite, but that's her way of saying she likes you!"
Cameron shrieked like a little girl and fainted. Duncan laughed at this, while Gwen looked at her boyfriend and frowned slightly.
"Is Camile all right?" Asked a certain dumb blonde stepping off the bus.
Zoey helped Cameron off the ground as he regained consciousness. "He's fine Lindsay, but his name is Cameron."
Chef then stated "Now that our 21 veterans have arrived it's time to introduce our new competitors. First, he's a poor and pitiful orphan from Brazil, Pablo Barata. [4]"
A fairly short Brazilian teen exited the bus. He had short and scruffy brown hair, large hazel eyes, and hints of stubble on his face. He was wearing a dark brown t-shirt with a rip where the left sleeve should have been, worn out black jean shorts, and two different shoes, one being brown, with the other being gray. He was practically nothing but skin and bones. He looked like the type of guy who rarely got a bite to eat, and that would be correct.
"It is wonderful to join this great show!" Pablo declared. "I can't wait to meet all of my favorite contestants and eat three square meals a day!"
"What?!" Owen shouted in shock. "You don't get to eat three times a day? I barely get off by eating six times a day! Oh the humanity!"
"So, you're so poor that you can't afford full meals?" Bridgette asked Pablo with concern.
Pablo responded to Bridgette's question by saying "Correct. My brother works as an English teacher in Brazil, but doesn't get paid much. I can't afford decent clothes either, which is why I wear this torn t-shirt and two un-matching shoes. But if I'm lucky, I could win the prize money, and move my Brother and I out of the slums!"
Bridgette replied by saying "Well, if I don't win the competition, I'll be rooting for you!"
"If you don't win the competition? Someone without a conviction to win does not deserve to earn that prize money" said someone with a Russian accent.
The next new competitor stepped off the bus. She was a girl with bleach-blonde hair down to her shoulders, periwinkle eyes, and lightly tanned skin. She was wearing triangular glasses, a white blouse with a necklace with a golden 'V' on it, a pair of fingerless gloves, a gray skirt, and black high-heel shoes. This new girl continued to speak: "But then again, it's not like you could win. Not when I am in the completion. "
"What did I say about stepping off the bus before I introduced ya?!" Chef asked rhetorically. "Anyway, say hello to Viktoriya Manya Syuzanna. [5]"
"Veek-to-ree-yah?" Duncan asked, "Isn't that name pronounced, like, Victoria or something?"
"Gosh Duncan!" Harold told the delinquent, "Viktoriya is how Russians, Bulgarians, and Ukrainians say the English name Victoria. You're such an idiot!"
Duncan grabbed Harold by his shirt with one hand, pointed a fist at him with the other hand, glared at him, and said "Idiot? I'd say the idiot here is you for forgetting what I do to nerds like you."
Harold smirked and responded by punching Duncan, knocking him to the ground. "No, you're the idiot for forgetting about my killer left hook. [6]"
Duncan got up and glared at Harold as Harold did the same. But before a fight could ensue, Gwen stepped in and pushed them away from each other, saying: "That's enough out of both of you! Harold, if you ever punch my boyfriend again. I'll have to hit you with a shovel again! [7]"
Duncan chuckled, saying: "That's my girl!"
Gwen turned around and glared at Duncan: "I said that's enough out of both of you. Duncan, you didn't have to threaten Harold for correcting you! I thought we talked about this; I don't like it when you act like a jerk!"
"Neither do I!" declared the final new competitor as he stepped off the bus. He was a tall and muscular Caucasian teen wearing a black fedora over his medium-length reddish brown hair. He was also wearing a black sports-jacket over a light gray t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and black boots.
Chef sighed, not bothering to complain that the newest competitor spoke up prior to his introduction, and said: "And here is our third new competitor, Jerome Smith."
Cameron raised his hand and asked Chef: "Chef, why did you say the full names of all of the new contestants when you introduced them, when you only said the first names for all the returning contestants?"
Jerome responded by saying: "If I had to guess, it's because names can describe a lot about a person. For example, my last name, Smith, comes from the word 'smite', which is what I'm gonna do with all of the villains and bullies in the competition, who don't deserve to win that cash prize!" After saying this, Jerome glared at both Jo and Duncan.
Duncan responded by asking: "Are you talking about me?"
"Yeah you!" Jerome said. "I don't like your type Duncan. You're a bully who tormented Harold for an entire freakin' season and cheated on your girlfriend. You're a grade-A scumbag who doesn't deserve to win this competition."
Gwen frowned when she heard this, and said: "Look here Jerome, don't you ever insult my boyfriend! Duncan can be a jerk at times, but he can be nice too!"
Jerome scoffed, and said: "Oh yeah? Name one good thing that Duncan did on World Tour."
Gwen responded: "I will! He was nice to me, and he…..um…well…he did…." Gwen sighed and stopped speaking. At this both Jerome and Courtney smirked, while Duncan frowned.
"Are you gonna let him get away with saying that stuff about me Gwen?" Duncan asked Gwen, slightly ticked off.
"Well he kind of has a point Duncan!" Gwen responded. "You may have been nice to me during World Tour, but you treated everyone else like dirt! Like when you threw that dingo at Cody, which by the way, led to me getting eliminated in Australia!"
"You had that elimination coming to you boyfriend kisser!" Courtney yelled at Gwen.
Gwen sighed and said "Really Courtney? You're still mad about that? When will you let that go and move on with your life?"
"I can't move on in my life, because you two ruined my life!" Courtney yelled with fury at both Gwen and Duncan.
Cody walked up to Courtney and said "Maybe you should calm down a little bit Court-"
Courtney interrupted Cody by screaming: "SHUT UP!"
"All of ya'll hush up!" yelled Chef to everybody. "You're bickering may produce ratings, but it takes up time! We don't have all day to get this show started! Now keep your mouths shut and follow me!"
All 24 contestants immediately did what Chef asked them to do, and went into the film lot to prepare for the competition.
Author Notes:
[1] For the record, there will be more than 13 episodes, but there will be fewer than 26. You'll find out how many episodes there will be about halfway through the story.
[2] Trent is obviously talking about how he and Gwen broke up during season two. Justin is talking about the Total Drama Action episode, 'The Princess Pride', where the male model falls for Courtney. Courtney responded by manipulating Justin to win invincibility, knocking him off a tower (which put him in a full body-cast), and promptly voting the male model off.
[3] Unlike most fan-fics that keep Sierra as a creepy stalker, I decided to keep Sierra's character development in the last few episodes of World Tour in which she stops stalking Cody and is satisfied with being only friends with Cody. There will not be Coderra in this fic either.
[4] Pablo's last name, Barata, is the Portuguese word for 'cockroach'.
[5] You may recognize Viktoriya from ferguson97's fan-fiction "Total Drama World Tour." When I created her, I was doing so fully planning to use her in my story. The reason I bring this up is that ferguson97 took her character in a different direction. I created her to be an antagonist, and based her on Courtney's worst traits. However ferguson97 toned down her arrogance and made her sort of a hero/anti-hero instead. I do think that was a good move on his part, since Emma and Zane are better antagonists for his story, but for my story, Viktoriya will be one of the villains. (The other villains, including this story's main antagonist, will be revealed in upcoming chapters.)
BTW, Viktoriya Manya Syuzanna is the how the Russians would say Victoria Mary Susan. Or in other words, Victory Mary Sue. Viktoriya is supposed to be a deconstruction and parody of Mary Sues, which will be explored in more detail in upcoming chapters.
[6] A reference to the Total Drama Action episode: 'Crouching Courtney, Hidden Owen', where Harold develops a killer left hook punch, and later on in the episode uses it to knock out Duncan when the delinquent insults Leshawna.
[7] A reference to the Total Drama Action episode: 'The Chefshank Redemption', where Gwen hits Harold with her infamous shovel of doom in order to throw the challenge.
So that's my first chapter. Constructive criticism is welcome, so please review.
And be sure to check out the next chapter, where we will discover what happened to the abandoned film lot after Total Drama Action ended, we will see the first confessionals, and the first challenge, based on Strix Moonwing's fan-fiction: "Candy for your Thoughts", will be revealed. See ya next time!
