A/N: Hi there. I've been thinking about this for a while and decided to give this story a go. This happens after the TYBW.

I don't own Bleach or the characters. They belong to Tite Kubo.

By the way, this is my first time writing a story with angst so I hope I turned out good.

Enjoy reading!

It all begun with a glimpse. A small glimpse that changed my perspective of the world including myself. A glimpse of a man with fiery red hair changed my perspective. My life. On that day he was appointed to lieutenant, the wheels started turning. If only I hadn't been foolish enough to follow my feelings so blindly back then, things wouldn't have ended up like this. I wouldn't have ended up with so much pain now just by looking at the trio passing by.

A little girl with the same hair as the father's and purple eyes shining with confidence matching with the mother's, fortunately. Even though I don't wish them bad, the sight still hurts knowing that the girl, walking in the middle of her parents while holding their hands, is not biologically the mother's daughter. Ashamed to admit it to anyone else, besides Renji, that I once carried a child for 9 months, I gave up my child to my little sister a few days after her wedding and explained to her that I found the baby in the streets.

As much as I hated lying to Rukia, I had no choice at that time. I was worried what she might think of man getting pregnant with a child who happened to be her husband's daughter. A hypocrite. That's what I am. For letting my feelings conquer my entire body by being with the man I still love.

The day we entwined our bodies with passion was the best time I had in my life. I was happy that Renji enjoyed himself as well but the moment ended when he told me about Rukia confessing her feelings to him recently. He admitted that he likes both of us but didn't want to ruin my name by hanging out with us. I understood what he meant and didn't blame him for having mixed feelings. I released him and congratulated Renji and Rukia on their engagement.

I started feeling I'll one month later and consulted Lieutenant Kotetsu. She was beyond shock when she found out that I had another reitatsu inside me. I felt my whole world crushing down on me while I couldn't come up with any explanation as to why I was expecting. I thought that it was impossible for a man to become pregnant but Isane proved me wrong when she explained that there were male hybrids who were able to create temporary uteruses for the baby after having sex. They were very rare and were labelled as outcasts to many people. The thought of other people shunning my child due to that didn't sit well in the pit of my stomach. I told Renji the news after my visit and he was equally shocked and perplexed as Isane and I were. It took sometime but he was happy that we were going to have a baby but was worried about what Rukia would say so I told him not to tell her. He was hesitant at first but soon agreed to keep it a secret so as not to hurt her feelings.

A redheaded baby girl was born seven months later in a small place isolated from the Seireitei in order to prevent other people from hurting the baby. Fortunately, Renji visited me once in a while and had a maid to take care of me during my pregnancy. Renji told other soul reapers that i had to visit my relatives from outside the Seireitei for an estimated time. We had no choice but to lie in order to protect our child from the society. A few weeks after the birth, the redhead and I decided to give the baby to him and Rukia after the wedding.

I attended the wedding with the usual emotionless expression and watched them make vows with a fond smile. My mind drifts back to the present time and I find myself leaning against the window staring at the wonderful family walking past the squad six barracks. I'm happy for them and I wish them well but part of me wished that I could have a family with Renji. As if reading my mind, the redheaded father glanced at my way and smiled. Watching them made me realise that I had sacrificed two things to keep the people I love safe.

My child and the love of my life.

A/N: Ok. Writing this made me so emotional and by the way, Ichika has the same eye shape as Byakuya if you haven't noticed. ;D I apologise to the RenRuki fans but this is just fanfiction. Nothing more. As for the ByaRen fans and other readers, I hope you enjoyed it and let me know your thoughts in the comments. :)