The First
First: (number)
1. The beginning.
2. Coming before all others in time, order, position or importance.
He recalled the first time he had noticed her.
He had never concerned himself with girls and stuff before, and until that moment, he was convinced he never would. As far as he was concerned, only weak minded fools indulged in that sort of meaningless drivel, and he would never debase himself with such trivial pursuits. No, Seto had learned a long time ago that there were only two people in this world he could trust, Mokuba, and himself.
And that was all he needed.
At least it had been, until she buzzed into his life and ruined everything.
He had apparently met her before but she had just blended into the nameless swam of irritating flies that insisted on plaguing his existence. She was a plain, scrawny thing, a completely insignificant blur on his periphery not worthy of his attention until that fateful night on his blimp. He was studiously focused on his preparation for his strategy for his next match and was only dimly aware that someone had barged in and started shouting at him. He wasn't even listening to her incessant babbling, and he certainly didn't bother to avert his attention from the tapes he was watching of his opponents in order to acknowledge her pitiful pleas to land his blimp for whatever ridiculous reason she was jabbering on about. Everyone wanted something from him, and she was no different and he would swat her away just like all the other irritating flies before her.
He coldly waved his hand at her in dismissal; no one told him what to do, least of all some pitiful creature with absurdly idealistic views of how the world worked. But that didn't stop her, and her refusal to accept his dismissal just irritated him even more as she continued to bleat on in that annoying voice of hers. She even started crying. It was beyond pathetic.
And that was when she did it. The unthinkable.
She touched him.
And his life became the screeching car crash it was now.
At first he had been shocked; no one dared touch Seto Kaiba and now that scrawny slip of a girl had fallen to her knees in front of his chair and desperately grabbed his hands in hers as she pleaded with him on his level. He tried to snatch his hands back, but she held his hands tightly in hers, squeezing them close to her heart as she looked at him helplessly with tears brimming her eyes, repeating her cries for help. He scowled at her audacity, his cold eyes narrowing on his prey which he was just about to slaughter with his vicious words.
But as he focused on the victim he was about to destroy, he noticed her. He noticed all of her, not just the pretty façade and the nice manners all the common idiots were incapable of seeing beyond. No, he noticed the mole just above her left eyebrow, the slight crook in her button nose, the small, dark stain on her silk blouse, her rough bitten nails coated in chipped varnish. He should have been repulsed by her imperfections, he certainly did not expect himself to be intrigued by her in any way, but instead he found her curiously captivating.
He should have stopped it right then. That feeling. He should have squashed it deep down and shaken her off him with revulsion and unleashed his fury at her imprudence. If only he had, then he would not be in the mess he was in now.
Instead, he did the unthinkable.
He said 'yes'.
The word had just spurted from his mouth before he had even realised he had said it. She was as shocked as he was.
"R…Really?" she questioned, her mouth gawping open in surprise.
That was his chance, his chance to rectify his mistake and pretend he never said it. But as he looked into her amber eyes, he just nodded dumbly.
And she smiled.
It was not the vulgar sort of smile that those other women would give him in a futile attempt to appear alluring; it was an honest smile that exposed no hidden agenda, a smile which simply expressed her genuine gratitude for his help which lit up her whole face and made her eyes sparkle. But worst of all, when he saw that smile, he realised he would have said 'yes' to her a million times over just to see it again.
She gently released his hands and slowly stood up as if to leave. He wanted to drag her back down in front of him and...and…he didn't know what, but he knew he didn't want her to go. How weak. He abruptly stood up, feeling the need to say something,
"Now get out."
Damn. That was not what he meant to say. He could see her smile vanish and her posture stiffen as she quickly averted her eyes from his steely gaze. Seeing her hurt expression, he wondered if he should apologise. No, it was better this way. With a wretched, sinking feeling in his gut, he watched as with a small bow, she turned away from him and gracefully moved towards the door. She paused and then turned to look at him once more. He felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs.
"Thank you, Mr. Kaiba." Her voice was soft, barely a whisper.
And then she was gone.
He had stared at that door for hours after she left. Thinking. He was greatly disturbed by his moment of weakness; his emotions had betrayed him and she had exploited his temporary lapse in judgement.
Yes, it was all her fault.
As his analytical mind dissected their encounter, he concluded she must have planned this from the beginning, carefully manipulating him with her pleading eyes and kind smile and he stupidly let himself fall into her trap. He was such a fool. He vowed he would expose her for the fraud she truly was. He vowed he would never be so weak again.
He watched her closely throughout his tournament after that, waiting eagerly for her pretty manners to slip and confirm that underneath, she was exactly like all the other soul-sucking, manipulative vultures that he encountered. But it never came. The more he relentlessly searched for fault, the more hopelessly perfect she was. Even as she stood on the side lines cheering on that ridiculous mutt, he was hopelessly entranced by her beautiful, warm smile.
That smile she had once given him.
But now she gave it to everyone else. She never even noticed his stare. She never even glanced his way and he found himself desperately wishing she would. He started goading her friends, hoping to provoke her into looking at him again, but she never did. All her attention was devoted to her friends as she selflessly cheered, comforted and consoled them through their triumphs and tragedies and a deeply hidden, selfish part of him was annoyed that she would not do the same for him.
She was cruel.
Damn. No, she wasn't. She was perfect. She was everything he could never be and everything he could never have.
She was his Serenity.
But as quickly as she had unknowingly forced her way into his life, she disappeared from it again. His tournament was quickly over and his life returned to the monotony of contracts, business meetings and conferences. Without her constant presence cruelly reminding him of his weakness, he gradually began to rid himself of the temporary insanity that had inflicted him throughout his tournament. Gradually his heart stopped fluttering weirdly when he caught a flash of auburn hair in the corner of his eye, his hands eventually stopped getting clammy when someone wore jasmine perfume in his proximity. After a few months, he had successfully dismissed the entire pathetic episode as a minor blip which would never happen again.
At least that was what he hoped.
Words can therefore not describe his shock when one morning, two years later, he mindlessly breezed out of the elevator towards his office and was unexpectedly called over to be introduced to his new secretary…
…and there she was, sat prettily at the desk outside his office with her KaibaCorp name badge prominently on display. His Serenity.
She looked up at him and smiled.
"Hello Mr. Kaiba."
He almost spat out his coffee with shock.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for taking the time to read this far. I wrote this on a whim and was originally intending for this to be a one-shot exploratory Seto Kaiba monologue. I liked the idea that Seto could remain completely cold and aloof on the outside but bubbling away underneath is a confused, emotionally stunted boy who has difficultly confronting these novel feelings. I must admit that my fingers are itching to type more and I am considering extending this into multi-chapter...thoughts?
All reviews welcome.
With love,
Mimzical
x
